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Author Topic: News Stories that belong in LCS  (Read 1246 times)

EuchreJack

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News Stories that belong in LCS
« on: September 14, 2011, 04:41:05 pm »

Today, I read a news story that seems destined for the newspaper in LCS as a random event:

Quote from: Today's News
Woman donates kidney to son, loses job

A Philadelphia woman said she lost her job after taking off time to donate a kidney to her son.  [Random Name] said she lost her job last week at [Random Company].  She said she was told she might not have a job to come back to.  She took the time off anyway, after signing a paper acknowledging that fact.

The company said it was within its rights.

Real story, I just removed the individual and company name.  Granted, the article uses the term "she said" far too often for my liking, and the company is undoubtably misquoted.  Still, scary stuff.

klingon13524

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Re: News Stories that belong in LCS
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2011, 04:22:01 am »

(Wo)man donates [organ] to [noun], loses job

A [state or city] (wo)man said she lost her job after taking off time to donate a [organ] to her [noun].  [Random Name] said (s)he lost h[is/er] job last week at [Random Company].  (S)he said (s)he was told (s)he might not have a [job, paycheck, living, ect] to come back to.  (S)he took the time off anyway[, after signing a paper acknowledging that fact].

The company said
Quote

Fixed that for you. Current union laws can affect the chance of the [, after signing a paper acknowledging that fact] line appearing.
« Last Edit: September 15, 2011, 02:41:39 pm by klingon13524 »
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By creating a gobstopper that never loses its flavor he broke thermodynamics
Maybe it's parasitic. It never loses its flavor because you eventually die from having your nutrients stolen by it.

Neonivek

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Re: News Stories that belong in LCS
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2011, 11:10:04 am »

Shouldn't that be

(Wo)man DONATES [Organ]
Instead of
(Wo)man [Organ] Kidney
???
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klingon13524

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Re: News Stories that belong in LCS
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2011, 02:40:49 pm »

Shouldn't that be

(Wo)man DONATES [Organ]
Instead of
(Wo)man [Organ] Kidney
???
Typos happen. I'll fix it now.
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By creating a gobstopper that never loses its flavor he broke thermodynamics
Maybe it's parasitic. It never loses its flavor because you eventually die from having your nutrients stolen by it.

Necro910

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Re: News Stories that belong in LCS
« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2011, 10:43:13 am »

Shouldn't that be

(Wo)man DONATES [Organ]
Instead of
(Wo)man [Organ] Kidney
???
Man liver kidney to waffle.

Makes sense to me!

Aerogen

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Re: News Stories that belong in LCS
« Reply #5 on: September 16, 2011, 01:56:58 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The headline in the newspaper above reads: "Prisoner accused of suicide is found dead in his cell"
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Neonivek

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Re: News Stories that belong in LCS
« Reply #6 on: September 19, 2011, 08:24:37 am »

I have to admit... that would be a hillarious newspaper headline and I support it.

MIND you as far as the image you shown us is likely more accurately translated: "Prisoner, found dead in cell, is accused of suicide" or something like that.
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stabbymcstabstab

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Re: News Stories that belong in LCS
« Reply #7 on: September 19, 2011, 03:43:15 pm »

Did you guys read about the dude that went to prison for helping a selfhelp guru kill himself.
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klingon13524

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Re: News Stories that belong in LCS
« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2011, 06:39:51 am »

Did you guys read about the dude that went to prison for helping a selfhelp guru kill himself.
Uh... why would a self-help guru need help with something like that?
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By creating a gobstopper that never loses its flavor he broke thermodynamics
Maybe it's parasitic. It never loses its flavor because you eventually die from having your nutrients stolen by it.

stabbymcstabstab

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Re: News Stories that belong in LCS
« Reply #9 on: September 20, 2011, 09:49:15 pm »

Don't ask but its still funnier then hell.
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Long Live Arst- United Forenia!
"Wanna be a better liberal? Go get shot in the fuckin' face."
Contemplate why we have a sociopathic necrophiliac RAPIST sadomasochist bipolar monster in our ranks, also find some cheese.