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Author Topic: !!HORSEPLAY!!  (Read 16861 times)

forsaken1111

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #30 on: September 27, 2011, 09:13:21 am »

What the hell kind of alchemist are we that we have no references or written literature to consult?

Very well, heat the gross mixture in the reasonably sized cauldron until !!ALCHEMY!! happens.
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Hubris Incalculable

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #31 on: September 27, 2011, 09:27:56 am »

((@LordSlowpoke: nothing has transmuted. Yet.))

You light a small coal fire on the dirt floor of your ground-floor room, and heave the cauldron onto it. Putting your protective equipment back on, you schlop the metal-in-a-latrine into the pot. After about ten minutes, the mix begins to simmer. You stir it a few times with a stick you found in the street to prevent it from burning to the bottom of the pot. It's really beginning to smell foul in here. You wait about half an hour but nothing has happened, except for this room becoming unlivable. You are beginning to feel really glad that you haven't eaten in four hours, because if you had, you would be adding bile and half-processed food to the mix.

Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
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forsaken1111

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #32 on: September 27, 2011, 09:32:15 am »

Admit that we're a terrible alchemist and move to a new town to avoid the shame?
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Hubris Incalculable

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #33 on: September 27, 2011, 09:44:24 am »

Admit that we're a terrible alchemist and move to a new town to avoid the shame?
Hey - The dice weren't favoring you, is all. I rolled a 1, and a 3, and even added on a +3 modifier before rolling. It ain't your fault and it ain't mine.
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forsaken1111

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #34 on: September 27, 2011, 09:55:19 am »

Admit that we're a terrible alchemist and move to a new town to avoid the shame?
Hey - The dice weren't favoring you, is all. I rolled a 1, and a 3, and even added on a +3 modifier before rolling. It ain't your fault and it ain't mine.
I know I know.

Alright.

Be a bit depressed at our failure, and the horrid stench.

But wait! Perhaps we need some kind of catalyst! Nevermind that we have no idea what a catalyst is.

Using incredible care, apply several drops of smelly green chemical to the frothing mixture of disgust in the pot. Also fashion a makeshift clothepin from a piece of wood to hold our nose for us because damn this !!ALCHEMY!! stinks.
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Dwarmin

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #35 on: September 27, 2011, 10:13:27 am »

We need more...aha!

We are willing to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of !!Alchemy!!, so we must harness the power of currency!

Toss all of our money into the pot!
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Dwarmin's fell gaze has fallen upon you. Sadly, Your life and your quest end here, at this sig.

"The hats never coming off."

forsaken1111

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #36 on: September 27, 2011, 10:15:05 am »

We need more...aha!

We are willing to sacrifice ourselves for our week, so we must harness the power of currency!

Toss all of our money a single coin into the pot!
Prudence intervenes!
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LAAT501legion

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #37 on: September 27, 2011, 10:16:39 am »

Search for some minerals and add half of what you find to the mix.
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This isn't reality.
THIS IS DWARF FORTRESS!!
*kicks an elf into the pit*
Roll to be a BATTLE WIZARD

forsaken1111

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #38 on: September 27, 2011, 10:17:16 am »

Search for some minerals and add half of what you find to the mix.
Search where? We're in a dirt-floored hovel of a room in a town...
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Hubris Incalculable

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #39 on: September 27, 2011, 10:26:46 am »

We need more...aha!

We are willing to sacrifice ourselves for our week, so we must harness the power of currency!

Toss all of our money a single coin into the pot!
Prudence intervenes!
GM notes that there is already a coin in the pot.
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forsaken1111

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #40 on: September 27, 2011, 10:31:50 am »

We need more...aha!

We are willing to sacrifice ourselves for our week, so we must harness the power of currency!

Toss all of our money a single coin into the pot!
Prudence intervenes!
GM notes that there is already a coin in the pot.
Clearly a second coin is the missing ingredient. Also the green stuff.
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Dwarmin

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #41 on: September 27, 2011, 10:32:13 am »

Ah, it must have slipped my ordinarily flawless mind..Hmm, Money is fine...but for true Alchemy, we must add our own BLOOD!

Just a few drops...
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Dwarmin's fell gaze has fallen upon you. Sadly, Your life and your quest end here, at this sig.

"The hats never coming off."

forsaken1111

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #42 on: September 27, 2011, 10:33:31 am »

Ah, it must have slipped my ordinarily flawless mind..Hmm, Money is fine...but for true Alchemy, we must add our own BLOOD!

Just a few drops...
Yes... a solution of 5 drops blood, 3 drops green stuff and one coin.
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LAAT501legion

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #43 on: September 27, 2011, 10:34:05 am »

Ah, it must have slipped my ordinarily flawless mind..Hmm, Money is fine...but for true Alchemy, we must add our own BLOOD!

Just a few drops...
Yes... a solution of 5 drops blood, 3 drops green stuff and one coin.
Forget about the minerals,do this
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This isn't reality.
THIS IS DWARF FORTRESS!!
*kicks an elf into the pit*
Roll to be a BATTLE WIZARD

Hubris Incalculable

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #44 on: September 27, 2011, 11:12:59 am »

Hmm... Clearly a sacrifice is required for something as complicated as !!ALCHEMY!!. You sacrifice another coin to the pot, and, after breaking a section of glass tubing, prick yourself on the finger with it. You sacrifice 5 drops of your precious lifeblood to the pot, and, for good measure, you pour in a small amount of Smelly Green Chemical.
Spoiler: Critical Success! (click to show/hide)
Immediately, the icky substance begins to froth and smoke. The brown goop slowly turns bright red, and a much more pleasant smell fills the air. It smells like... like... like those expensive eastern spices you have seen in the market. As the smoke and froth clear, so too does the foul smell of boiling horseshit. You have discovered Pleasant Smelling Red Chemical! Level Up! You are now a Level 1 Alchemist! To level up again, you must create 2 successful, unique recipes.

Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: September 27, 2011, 11:14:48 am by hubris_incalculable »
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