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Author Topic: XD most pathetic siege ever  (Read 1950 times)

saltmummy626

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XD most pathetic siege ever
« on: October 17, 2011, 12:28:59 am »

either that or your trap defenses are too thick. I was attacked by a "vile force of darkness." oh sh** i think, so I raise the secondary bridge and prep the military. turns out, those precautions weren't needed. this siege lasted no more than oh... two or 3 minutes. they marched from the south-west crossed a bridge and were stopped by my moat. in their trip around the moat, they catch and kill a kitten and 4 hunting dogs, after which they hit the only approach open to them. a 3 tile wide walkway with no less than 15 weapon traps with a various assortment of serrated disks, giant axes, and spiked balls with no less than 3 of these weapons in each trap. this defense was put up, not for goblins, but to keep camals out of the cage traps. the "horde" steps onto the walkway and is instantly cut apart/thrown off of the walkway and into the moat. in the case of the groups leader, he and his mount (a jabberer) they were instantly vaporized by the traps I cant find the corpses or the goblins gear. my military, all armed with candy swords and axes arrived just in time to mop up the three surviving raiders. only one escaped. good, let him go back to his demon overlord and tell him of the might of the flag of targets! while I wait for the next wave (if there is one) why dont you guys tell everyone else about disappointing sieges that have visited your forts. the plus side to this siege is that I get tons of free clothes with almost no effort!
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Fairin

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Re: XD most pathetic siege ever
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2011, 12:37:48 am »

Embarked, idea - aquire magma before farming- set up from the magma forges and build up from there dig a 2x2 straight down off the starting area

141 layers later i struck candy and unleashed the circus before the first season

well its almost a siege, but it was very dissapointing...
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Pukako

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Re: XD most pathetic siege ever
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2011, 01:27:05 am »

I had a wall, and a one deep, three across entrance with small weapons traps (a few copper giant axes and recycled invader weapons).

And a hunting dog.

Ambush!!!!

The goblins hit the traps, ran through, getting only flesh wounds, saw the dog, retreated back through the traps, getting more serious wounds, finally decide to kill the dog, run back through the traps AGAIN, and start losing body parts.  Then they ran off the map...

The dog didn't actually kill anything, but kept a one legged, no armed goblin distracted until it bled to death.
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Because DF players are heavily into pain.

saltmummy626

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Re: XD most pathetic siege ever
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2011, 01:34:38 am »

goblins just don't seem to do a lot of thinking eh?
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All is silence. The road is straight, without turning, in darkness. Now let there be an end to all things.

Pukako

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Re: XD most pathetic siege ever
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2011, 01:41:08 am »

goblins just don't seem to do a lot of thinking eh?

Gee... everyone who's gone through that corridor has been killed by giant, pointy things...

Must be something REALLY GOOD behind it!!!
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KtosoX

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Re: XD most pathetic siege ever
« Reply #5 on: October 17, 2011, 01:58:09 am »

I had a human siege some time ago. They all had melee weapons and were mounted on camels... My marksdwarfs did short work of them ^^
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Kattel

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Re: XD most pathetic siege ever
« Reply #6 on: October 17, 2011, 02:11:47 am »

i've had a siege arrive about 5 squares from my legendary crossbow dwarf/hunter who was hunting elephants at the time. he one shoted two  and the rest ran. whole thing was over in about 12 seconds.
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ansontan2000

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Re: XD most pathetic siege ever
« Reply #7 on: October 17, 2011, 03:35:19 am »

I had an ambush surround my 5 axedwarves. They died 10 seconds later from 3 one shot and 6 2 shots. Fear my legendaries!
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Wannazzaki

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Re: XD most pathetic siege ever
« Reply #8 on: October 17, 2011, 06:20:49 am »

I spend alot of time preparing those kind of kill corridors. Be they spikes on a lever or discs. But i never use anything less than red steel (or adamantine if im not on Genesis Mod) and never less than ten per trap. The only issue with this is, without a second line of defence the later game mega sieges can very quickly jam the hell out of the traps with well...goblin jam and salsa. If anything gets past the second line of defense, say trap avoid or things with bullshit high dodge they meet a facefull of axe. If they get past that well, good luck to them they deserve to eat the dorfs inside.
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melphel

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Re: XD most pathetic siege ever
« Reply #9 on: October 17, 2011, 08:42:45 am »

In the early years of my fort, my first goblin ambush came hiding in the shadow of a human caravan.  I had no military at this point, and was ready to just let the caravan guards deal with the goblins for me (guards are usually pretty badass in combat).  They lost.  The one of the remaining goblins failed to get past the dodge trap, the other two made it into the courtyard only to feel the wrath of 20 wardogs and a few guys I threw into a squad.

The next year the humans arrive in siege form, apparently they didn't take the goblin mishap very well.  My military at this point was about 5 strong, 3 melee and 2 ranged.  Four squads of humans, all on camelback, came at me.  Two of the squads were chased off by my marksdorfs on the wall.  The other two made it through the dodge trap, as I had suspected their diplomat had made them immune to it.  However, they were not immune to the three repeating spike traps I put behind the dodge trap, each with 5 menacing copper spikes each.  Three humans and two camels made it to the courtyard, where even more wardogs and better equipped dwarfs awaited.  Within a few seconds they all died of crushed skulls.
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