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Author Topic: Kill a Kobold Month!  (Read 52162 times)

Masked_Hunter1825

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Kill a Kobold Month!
« on: October 18, 2011, 12:47:15 pm »

Since it is currently the best month of all time, I declare it Kill a Kobald month! It's rather simple really. Capture a kobold if possible and hold it prisoner until you deem it fit to kill it in the most amusing way possible. Endless possibilities! What about the Giant desert scorpion you found, and its just sitting doing nothing? Well, heres an excuse to chuck it in a pit with a mutant dog-thingy that deserves to perish before the might of the Dwarven Warmachine!

Magma, always a favorite. If possible, dig a pit from the surface all the way into the magma sea and drop him in there for a barrel of laughs.

Then there is of course pitting it against your fresh recruits (be sure to remove all armor and weapons from it!) and let them use their training swords to beat the fellow to a bloody pulp. Oh such fun!

The person who comes up with the most inventive Kobold kill wins a free box of cookies. And remember the Dwarven Warmachine is lording over you. Do NOT fail.

(Elves are not allowed to join. If an elf is spotted near any festive dwarven grounds it is to be shot, hacked apart, stabbed or beaten to death. No exceptions, except to elven kings. All other races besides dwarves must bring beer to partipate in festivities. Kobolds must be captured or killed.)
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Tevish Szat

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2011, 12:55:16 pm »

Sadly, I have a feeling that the 4th annual "kill a kobold month" will be a bust.
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A medium-sized humanoid fond of fantasy and science-fiction.

Tevish Szat likes books, computers, board games, and cats for their aloofness. When possible, he prefers to consume hamburgers and macaroni and cheese. He needs caffeine to get through the working day.

Kurtisk1

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2011, 01:00:20 pm »

Sadly, I have a feeling that the 4th annual "kill a kobold month" will be a bust.
This...
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Masked_Hunter1825

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2011, 01:07:20 pm »

Come on, wheres your spirit? Don't be the guy at a party that is depressed and ignores everyone.
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Oliolli

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2011, 01:32:12 pm »

Don't be the guy at a party that is depressed and ignores everyone.

But that's just who I am. Not being that guy would just be refusing myself :(
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MadocComadrin

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2011, 01:36:05 pm »

*Chains himself to the nearest Kobold.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
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Masked_Hunter1825

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2011, 01:36:25 pm »

Are you sure you don't want to join in? We have whack a kobold, and funnel cakes! And infinite refills at the beer tent if you're a dwarf.
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zehive

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #7 on: October 18, 2011, 02:19:34 pm »

I haven't seen a Kobold in 8 IRL months. World gen seems to show every kobold starving to death.

acetech09

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #8 on: October 18, 2011, 02:30:12 pm »

I haven't seen a Kobold in 8 IRL months. World gen seems to show every kobold starving to death.

[NO_EAT] them or else they starve.
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Carpman

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #9 on: October 18, 2011, 03:46:09 pm »

I kill hundreds of kobolds everytime I gen new worlds, do I win?
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Tradanbattlan

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #10 on: October 18, 2011, 06:49:16 pm »

As a Kobold Rights activist, I stand firm in my position that you send people like me to the execution chambers instead. Kobolds are people, not pulp!

A Spoony Bard

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #11 on: October 18, 2011, 06:52:21 pm »

As a Kobold Rights activist, I stand firm in my position that you send people like me to the execution chambers instead. Kobolds are people, not pulp!
Are you implying that you are pulp?
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UltraValican

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #12 on: October 18, 2011, 06:53:51 pm »

They killed my shogun and her husband while they slept
I shall give kobolds reason to fear the surface dwellers.
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JDF117

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #13 on: October 18, 2011, 08:52:24 pm »

I haven't seen a Kobold in 8 IRL months. World gen seems to show every kobold starving to death.

 I read that as 'I haven't seen an IRL Kobold in 8 months' and almost had a stroke.
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Tradanbattlan

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #14 on: October 18, 2011, 08:53:51 pm »

As a Kobold Rights activist, I stand firm in my position that you send people like me to the execution chambers instead. Kobolds are people, not pulp!
Are you implying that you are pulp?
I am implying that I'd rather be made into pulp than the tribe of kobolds I may or may not have smuggled into my fortress.
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