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Author Topic: Kill a Kobold Month!  (Read 53085 times)

Eric Blank

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #105 on: October 22, 2011, 12:50:09 am »

Then it's fun again when you pick that kobold up and shove your sword up her ass.

Which happened to one thief that got too close to the dwarven caravan. Literally; stabbed in the anus by the swordsman guard. Some people just deserve a sword right up their backside, and she decided she had to be one of them that day.

Luckily her friend Kuldus didn't get into a fight with members of my civ before I runesmith'ed him into it. He's currently sitting in my dining hall whimpering after the screams of "FIRE! EVERYBODY PANIC AND HIDE IN THE DINING HALL!"

I intend to take in every single kobold thief I can. And not murder them.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2011, 12:52:40 am by Eric Blank »
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Nukarama

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #106 on: October 22, 2011, 01:09:38 am »

Literally; stabbed in the anus by the swordsman guard.
SQUICK
I intend to take in every single kobold thief I can. And not murder them.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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And when the site infiltration feature is done, we can do that thing where two short people disguise themselves as one tall guy in a trenchcoat. Except the two people in question will be halves of the same person.
The perfect disguise.

Nukarama

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #107 on: October 22, 2011, 01:13:29 am »

Literally; stabbed in the anus by the swordsman guard.
SQUICK
I intend to take in every single kobold thief I can. And not murder them.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

EDIT: How awesome would it be to be that kobold? "Maybe I'll just steal a cup, buy a meal with it. Hopefully they don't kill me. Wait they're offering me a plate and seat at the dining table! *eyes tearing up* I am so happy!" -Kuldus
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And when the site infiltration feature is done, we can do that thing where two short people disguise themselves as one tall guy in a trenchcoat. Except the two people in question will be halves of the same person.
The perfect disguise.

jaxy15

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #108 on: October 22, 2011, 01:18:07 am »

Literally; stabbed in the anus by the swordsman guard.
SQUICK
I intend to take in every single kobold thief I can. And not murder them.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

EDIT: How awesome would it be to be that kobold? "Maybe I'll just steal a cup, buy a meal with it. Hopefully they don't kill me. Wait they're offering me a plate and seat at the dining table! *eyes tearing up* I am so happy!" -Kuldus
He never said he wouldn't cause pain.
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Dwarf Fortress: Threats of metabolism.

Nukarama

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #109 on: October 22, 2011, 01:24:45 am »

Dorf-"Here have some glass shards"
Kobold-"You eat glass?"
Dorf-"No, you do. It tastes good."
Kobold-"Okie dokie!"
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And when the site infiltration feature is done, we can do that thing where two short people disguise themselves as one tall guy in a trenchcoat. Except the two people in question will be halves of the same person.
The perfect disguise.

Eric Blank

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #110 on: October 22, 2011, 02:30:05 am »

I don't intend to cause pain at all. Wishing the DFusion friendship utility was working though so they could actually contribute to the society they are now members of. Fishing being broken due to fish often not existing/the fish not reproducing, ever, and the fact kobolds are too damn pathetic to be permitted to hunt the giraffes and honey badgers (or hippos, or carp, or cyclops-civ ambushes) means they won't have much to do besides socialize and reproduce.
They still lay eggs, so reproduction shouldn't be hard if I can just keep the damn peahens and that other useless bird in their pasture. Then I just gotta make sure the dwarves don't take their egg :o

However, I don't think the humans of the town I embarked on will be so nice to thieves they find. They're already hostile to us, so the civilization switch won't help that for the poor kobolds. They definitely didn't like that ettin that showed up or the elven caravan...
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Masked_Hunter1825

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #111 on: October 22, 2011, 05:41:22 am »

Sparing kobolds? Treason. Those little scumbags deserve PAIN. I shall add yet another pit. Except i'll make magma hydras, fill the pit with magma and throw kobolds at it.

Also, 100 strong kobold ambush made my adventurer suffocate. I plan on killing as many as possible, across all the worlds. Kobolds are a disease that must be purged so that the rightful kings of the land may rule.

DWARVEN KIND, SHOW NO MERCY!
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jaxy15

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #112 on: October 22, 2011, 07:25:59 am »

I just pitted 100 kobolds against a creature made from iron that can release a paralyzing vapor.
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Masked_Hunter1825

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #113 on: October 22, 2011, 07:30:56 am »

*Rubs hands together* Goood.. good..

Note to self: When you don't have magma to work with, or magma cannot solve something (Very rare) use excessive amounts of pits.
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jaxy15

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #114 on: October 22, 2011, 07:32:44 am »

And now I just killed a few kobolds with my modded race again in arena mode.
I ripped (pinched off) the fourth kobold's leg, and beat it to death with it.
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Masked_Hunter1825

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #115 on: October 22, 2011, 07:37:03 am »

Its the most fun when you beat someone to death with their own limb. One point!
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Angel Of Death

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #116 on: October 22, 2011, 08:38:17 am »

I'm going to list my favourite kobold killing methods in no paticular order.

1: Breaking every bone in their body and finishing them by slitting their throat

2: Disembowelment followed by a decapitation

3: Gouging out the eyes, breaking the arms and legs and stoning them to death

4: Same as above, but replacing the stoning with incineration.

5: Tearing off all of their body parts and letting them bleed out.

6: 3 but with severed kobold heads instead of rocks

7: Beating them to death with another kobold's guts

8: Beating them to death with their OWN guts

9: (for kobold children only) Crushing their skulls with a rock after tearing off all of their facial features.

10: *drum roll* My favourite method is... Smashing their fingers and toes, then strangling them to the point of near death. I then wait for them to wake up and yank out their teeth and rip off the facial features. If they survive, I break their arms and legs. When they pass out, I cut off their fingers and if they're male, castrate them. After that, I try to chop off each one of their limbs. If they survive after having their arms and legs removed, I pick up a limb and beat them to death with it.
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Jacob/Lee

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #117 on: October 22, 2011, 08:42:53 am »

Somewhere, a Kobold Rights Activist is crying his eyes out after reading the last bunch of posts.

Angel Of Death

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #118 on: October 22, 2011, 08:44:06 am »

Somewhere, a Kobold Rights Activist is crying his eyes out after reading the last bunch of posts.
I shall subject him or her to number 10!
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Tradanbattlan

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Re: Kill a Kobold Month!
« Reply #119 on: October 22, 2011, 10:54:06 am »

Somewhere, a Kobold Rights Activist is crying his eyes out after reading the last bunch of posts.
I am. I am also hugging my poor immigrant kobolds who also read that.
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