Consider this my first update in the index, please.
Metaphysical Log of Dead Engineer arcangelsd
It was totally not worth it. I knew that going back from a happy afterlife to have a look at HellCannon wasn’t going to pay off. But I did. Curiosity won at the end.
So well, I came back to this aptly named hellhole, what I did found? That it had become a LITERAL hellhole, that is. So after I composed myself, I found that the one responsible for all this, CatalystParadox, had just died. Hoo boy he did get scot-free off this situation.
I hijacked someone’s mind and started yelling people and urging them to build walls blocking several passageways. Unfortunately, those numbskulled bastards were too busy carrying shit for one place to another, so I told them to cancel every other labor they were allowed to do, and start building walls for all that’s worth it. Worried, I looked for the demons. Surprisingly, upon finding them, I didn’t feel any fear. I suppose it’s related to the fact that the parts of me that made me feel fear rotted away a long time ago. Whatever. Back to the demons, they were busy killing an ogre down in the middle of the magma sea. Wait, what. What the hell is doing a skogre there? Screw it, it’s buying us some precious time.
I went back to the walls, in order to check the progress. Everything was done, save a glaring hole that went down to the panic room. I possessed Catalyst’s mind again, and asked for the reason why those walls weren’t being built. Someone that I haven’t met before said “Lad, you told us to build walls quick, and the nearest building material to ‘dis place is bronze, but you told us to build them with stone, so we can’t build those walls because they ain’t planned for being made from stone”. What. Frustrated, I ordered those walls to be built from stone, and then left to check for more possible ways inside our fortress. While I was on it, I saw TAD running around with a pile of clothes and thread, but for some reason, when I saluted him, he ran away like I was the devil. Funny bloke, this TAD. Must be plannin’ one of his obscure antics, or something like that.
Again, I came back to the forges, to oversee the progress, only to find that the works had progressed in the incredibly amount of… nothing. “Weird noises down the magma chute are scaring the workers off” they said. HOLY ARMOK MAGMA IS A HIGH DENSITY LIQUID HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN. I ordered them to get away, because I could feel the demons getting close. Advantages of being a supernatural entity, I guess. I drove my vessel up the stairs. He was feeling increasingly agitated. Maybe I should leave him alone, before he goes nuts. Speaking of going nuts, Deathsword is running up&down the stairs, half-naked, with a pick in his hands, and a miserable look on his face. I should look after him soon, before some calamity happens.
I sailed from my vessel, and went to the magma forges. Well, the ex-magma forges, now “demon party hall”. Did I mention that it’s completely in fire? I had no idea that lead could catch fire. Oh, now they are on the third cavern level, and just killed all the FBs down there. I’ll give them a medal later. They also set fire to the ENTIRE cavern, but hey, no more FBs. Then, I got the feeling of some living entity in heavy pain. I rushed there, only to find some fire demons ripping apart a cat. A cat that is currently near a staircase that leads to the insides of the fortress. WHY MR. PUSSYWHISKHERS, WHY? WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO YOUhey, where are those demons going? Another cat? Why those parts of the fortress are seemingly flooded with cats? Well, fortunately those brickheads managed to seal that last passage in time.
To sum it up: we opened Hell, we lost our forges, the third cavern level, a panic room and two cats. Fair trade.
A few days later, I noticed the presence of an exceptional individual: Kar Puwuncobi, The Glorious President, of which were being told rumors of being completely immortal. I decided to test them. I’ll give him the best armor and weapons that HellCannon has ever made, and train him in the secret dwarven way of the “danger room”.
On other unrelated news, I found a isolated bridge over an hospital that is full of cats standing on it. That would explain why La Loca de los Gatos keeps saying that she had new friends, despite being a baby.
Well, that’s what I have done in this place for now. Maybe I’ll be around there a little more. That hilariously big room of levers is surprisingly attractive. I may do something with it. For science, of course.
Poll
23 (82.1%)
Author
Topic: Hellcannon (Succession: Battlefailed 3) (0.31.25) (DEAD) (Read 797390 times)