Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 4 5 [6] 7 8 ... 30

Author Topic: The Age of Myth: Goldenhold (A DF Novel Length Story)  (Read 108930 times)

RabidAnubis

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The Age of Myth: Goldenhold (A DF Story)
« Reply #75 on: December 03, 2011, 07:25:41 pm »

Unless the Goblins and the Humans are confronted with a common enemy...

I thought everyone was the goblins enemy.
Logged
Dwarf Fortress: Your game is working on giving NPC's lives. Our game is working on giving them a working nervous system.
Aahhh I can't find the fish cakes in the bunny level, they keep getting enraged and I don't have any holy hand grenades
The Age of Myth: Goldenhold

Loud Whispers

  • Bay Watcher
  • They said we have to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
    • View Profile
    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: The Age of Myth: Goldenhold (A DF Story)
« Reply #76 on: December 03, 2011, 07:27:20 pm »

Unless the Goblins and the Humans are confronted with a common enemy...

I thought everyone was the goblins enemy.

But there are some things people will hate above all, usually the thing most likely to kill them :P

Eric Blank

  • Bay Watcher
  • *Remain calm*
    • View Profile
Re: The Age of Myth: Goldenhold (A DF Story)
« Reply #77 on: December 03, 2011, 10:43:49 pm »

And that would be dorfs.

Still loving the story. Keep it up!
Logged
I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

RabidAnubis

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The Age of Myth: Goldenhold (A DF Story)
« Reply #78 on: December 04, 2011, 12:30:20 am »

I just ran into a plot barrier now that I have been presented with this knowledge.   :'(  I'll probably continue with what I was thinking
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
, but I'm worried I'll disappoint.

Hmm..... people would still come to Goldenhold to trade.  Only the closest people would know the siege was even happening.

There will be a lot of coin flipping to decide on the plot.   :o  The next chapters will probably seem totally random, rivaling Boatmurdered for it's insanity.

So, I have a few questions to the readers.

Which storyline do you reading like the best, and why?  Is one more funny, or realistic, or fairytale like? 

Invaders (General Zeon)
Defenders (Captain Stronghammer)
........ Stonehand.  He doesn't have a title yet.

Also, would you guys like me to tell you more on Goldenhold's (which the world has been centered around ever since it's founding) history for a few chapters (adding a forth chapter to the cycle, rather than just 3), or just steamroll further into the plot?

Which chapter was your favorite, and honestly, which one was your least favorite and felt like filler?

Does Stonehand seem overpowered?  If you think he is, do you want him to stay that way?

I need those questions to be answered honestly before I continue.  I've never done anything like this before, and most of the time I simply wait for inspiration to strike before I continue writing.  Chances are that I agree with you anyways.  I won't be deleting a storyline because of this- I'll just match the writing style to be closer to the one's the people like.

And, on the bright side it looks like I'm about a forth done with the story, it totals at 11,025 words, and a novel only has to be three point five times as long (according to The Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, so this will end up being novel length in the end!  I'll send this to my English teacher if she asks me to write a fiction piece.  She'll regret saying it can be longer than a few pages.... or maybe she'll like it.   8)

Also, if any of you guys are artists, I would appreciate someone trying to make a cover for this 'book' so I can post it on the front of the thread.  It can be any scene so far in the story, or even predicted ones in the future.  I'm not an artist, so I would do it but I have a lack of ability, and I'm certain people would rather have me writing anyways.  ;)  The winner will be added to the credits.  (Loudwhispers is already in it for writing interlude 2: prying eyes  :o, which I needed to make an explanation for the plot I'm thinking about for chapters 20-21)

Logged
Dwarf Fortress: Your game is working on giving NPC's lives. Our game is working on giving them a working nervous system.
Aahhh I can't find the fish cakes in the bunny level, they keep getting enraged and I don't have any holy hand grenades
The Age of Myth: Goldenhold

Stronghammer

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The Age of Myth: Goldenhold (A DF Story)
« Reply #79 on: December 04, 2011, 12:56:48 am »

some history would be nice as it seems to be just suddenly "IM ALIVE" to suddenly shit imdieing.
second i like reading about the dwarves cause well i like dwarves are best. second i find the dwarves epic fail freakin hilarious though stretching reality just a tad, though i realise im saying that about a fantasy piece with dwarves and magic so ya. Stonehand is a tad over powered but it fits nicely, might even be nice to see him come up and replace derp captain, even though he is my name sake. if you ever have question about were to go with it or need idea making or bouncing feel free to pm me, i say this not to be like yay im awesome. however i have written one novel already and amhalfway through writing another, and how funny is that tis about dwarves. so ya im here to help as the story must go on, great job so far.
Logged

Mitchewawa

  • Bay Watcher
  • My pick is the pick that will pierce the heavens!
    • View Profile
Re: The Age of Myth: Goldenhold (A DF Story)
« Reply #80 on: December 04, 2011, 01:08:42 am »

1. I like the Invader and Defenders equally. The invader side gives a better look on how the fight is actually going whereas the defender side I can relate to due to dwarfs, and is also a chaotic, bad-choice driven clusterfuck (which I also relate to, because dwarf).

2. Hah, anything to keep this going to the novel stage  :P

3. Nothing felt like filler, except maybe Interlude 1 but it and Interlude 2 seem like they come important later on.

4. I'd prefer Stonehand to be more of a survivalist then a Legendary Killsmith +5. You know, he's lost and trying to find his way back with a horde of gremlins and monsters out to kill him and all he has is his wits.

Keep up the good work!
Logged
Mitch cancels sleep: Interrupted by Clowns

Loud Whispers

  • Bay Watcher
  • They said we have to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
    • View Profile
    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: The Age of Myth: Goldenhold (A DF Story)
« Reply #81 on: December 04, 2011, 09:24:53 am »

Take it piecemeal... Bit by bit so we can drag this horrible story on FOREVER.

Bah, just kidding, I LURVE THIS THING, and if anything we need more drama and god-like Ajax shield smashers rollin' through a sea of corpses :D

RabidAnubis

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The Age of Myth: Goldenhold (A DF Story)
« Reply #82 on: December 05, 2011, 03:59:12 pm »

Okay.

Sorry about yesterday.

The story will need a hero, but I do understand that there is some interest in a more survivalist storyline, and there are a few personalities that aren't there yet so it would be easy for me to do that. 

Loudwhispers.....   :P
Silly man.

Btw I'm going to get chapter 11 up today, and I'll be taking your comments into consideration.....

Now what to do with the captain......
Logged
Dwarf Fortress: Your game is working on giving NPC's lives. Our game is working on giving them a working nervous system.
Aahhh I can't find the fish cakes in the bunny level, they keep getting enraged and I don't have any holy hand grenades
The Age of Myth: Goldenhold

RabidAnubis

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The Age of Myth: Goldenhold (A DF Story)
« Reply #83 on: December 06, 2011, 06:43:54 pm »

(Had to make fun of nobles some point in the story.....  Will try and post another today, as this was yesterday's)

Goldenhold
Chapter 11: Remedy For Pain

   The captain was in a bed, wounded.  There was no way he was going to return to the frontline....  and he was tired.  It was as if every one of his waking moments he had to go to sleep, exhausted as if he had stayed up for a week straight.  But he knew that it was his duty to help with the siege, and giving clever orders from his hospital bed he commanded the assault. 

   They did manage to close the bridge access to the caverns, and the miner’s guild were getting angry that their workers would be unemployed.  He assured them that everything would be over within a week and explained that the gremlins were less of a match for them than even the humans.  Things weren’t going excellently or badly on either front, but to everyone in Goldenhold it looked like as if it was going to be over quickly, a small interruption.  Nothing could disrupt the lives of gods, after-all.

   In the hospital were mostly those wounded by cuts and slices and jabs.  This place was not meant for check ups, and was for the military almost exclusively.  There was a person in the bed next to him however who was obviously not in the military, he carried no weapon by his bedside and wore clothes of a fisherman.  They looked as if they had been burnt almost, but in a slow manner rather than that someone would have expected from a blazing fire.

   His beard was singed, much shorter than it should have been and it seemed corroded in the areas it remained.  He was awake, and he seemed more irritated that he was there than tired or upset.  Which was surprising giving the condition of his arm, which seemed trashed and bent backward in a position it was not meant to be in.

   The captain sat up slightly, looking at the other person for a moment before he couldn’t resist asking him why he was in this hospital.  But all that came out was a mysterious, “Who are you?”

   The dwarf looked at the captain with a glare, as if he was invading his private thoughts.  “I’m a dwarf.  I’m a citizen of Goldenhold.”  He said this, his voice croaking with bits of anger that he couldn’t show to a noble in full.  Then, as if it was required, he returned, “So, who are you?”

   The captain balled his hand into a fist, proud as a lion when he spoke, “I am the glorious captain and commander of Goldenhold’s defenses, Stronghammer the first, son of the glorious Ironhammer, leader of Goldenhold’s navy.”

   As if totally unimpressed at the full title, the other dwarf said, “Oh.”  A long pause.  “So your the one who got us into this mess.”  His face was stern and serious, and the captain knew that he was not joking.  “You have too much pride even for the king.”

    Rolling his eyes and his body, the other dwarf faced away, making fake noises as if he was sleeping and the conversation was over.  The captain gaped, never having been insulted so directly by a lesser.  Even when I was carried here, people only glared at me as I was carried away from the fight, impressed by my goldliness!  The noble thought for a moment that maybe they were glaring at him out of hatred they couldn’t show, but he dismissed the idea.  If he was insulted he knew he would treat with rationality and reason, attempting to improve himself as always.  He was certain that the even the poorest man of the city knew that nobles were always ready for criticism.  That was the life of a noble, one of perfection.  So he gave a reasonable response. 

   “KILL HIM!”  The captain pointed at the dwarf, and soon a few doctors along with guards walked up to the noble.  One of the guards, his gleaming steel armor lined with fabulous silver walked up, and was the first to respond in a fast tone of urgency.

   “What sir?  Who?  I’ll take down ANY of your problems.”  He said this with certainty, for his family had been fortress guards for generation after generation, handing down the same silver hammer that he had in his hand for over a thousand years easily.  It was his duty to maintain order.

   Pointing at the dwarf once more, who was rolling his eyes, the captain said that he must be terminated for insulting the royalty and nobility of the fortress, including the honor of one of the king’s appointed.  He yelled again, pointing his finger, “KILL HIM!”

   The guard twisted around, and started to raise his hammer.  But one of the doctors arrived just in time, telling the guard to stop.  He did, his hammer hanging halfway in the air.  The doctor explained that the captain may be having a hallucination, so ignoring him may be to the best of everyone’s interest.  The captain yelled that he was leaving, but everyone ignored him, continuing to argue.  Even the guard was convinced that the captain was suffering, after what seemed to have been an hour of arguing.  But when they turned back to the bed where the dwarf had been laying, he was gone. 

   The doctors searched the many floors of the hospital but could not find him.  They were too busy healing the other troops to find him in one of Goldenhold’s many glorious dining halls, drinking and eating the great food served in delight, happy to be out of the hospital and breathing. 

   The captain was not pleased when he heard the culprit had left during the argument.  The doctors pulled out a vial and forced it into the captains mouth, forcing him into a deep sleep, a remedy for the pain.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2011, 06:46:23 pm by RabidAnubis »
Logged
Dwarf Fortress: Your game is working on giving NPC's lives. Our game is working on giving them a working nervous system.
Aahhh I can't find the fish cakes in the bunny level, they keep getting enraged and I don't have any holy hand grenades
The Age of Myth: Goldenhold

Loud Whispers

  • Bay Watcher
  • They said we have to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
    • View Profile
    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: The Age of Myth: Goldenhold (A DF Story)
« Reply #84 on: December 06, 2011, 06:48:16 pm »

I practically burst out laughing at the "reasonable response." :D :D :D ;D

RabidAnubis

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The Age of Myth: Goldenhold (A DF Story)
« Reply #85 on: December 06, 2011, 07:33:06 pm »

I practically burst out laughing at the "reasonable response." :D :D :D ;D

It was reasonable to him!

Now for Stonehands response to that.....

I think Argon won't arrive in time to kill him.
Logged
Dwarf Fortress: Your game is working on giving NPC's lives. Our game is working on giving them a working nervous system.
Aahhh I can't find the fish cakes in the bunny level, they keep getting enraged and I don't have any holy hand grenades
The Age of Myth: Goldenhold

Stronghammer

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The Age of Myth: Goldenhold (A DF Story)
« Reply #86 on: December 06, 2011, 11:52:31 pm »

lol why of course thats the response lol.
Logged

RabidAnubis

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The Age of Myth: Goldenhold (A DF Story)
« Reply #87 on: December 09, 2011, 06:08:44 pm »

(Sorry.  I haven't posted in a while, and this chapter wasn't that great.)

Goldenhold
Chapter 12: Don’t Want Steak

   Stonehand stood up from the silver chair he had been sitting on, leaving his nether-rack mug there for the waiters.  Only the dwarves of Goldenhold used mugs, the other civilizations of the underground drinking straight out of the barrel, splashing mead everywhere in their joy, especially on their long, hairy, stuffy beards.

   He was lucky to be alive and he knew it, but the recent excitement was no reason not to return to his families compound of seventy people.  His day at work was over, and if the guards wanted to find him they could anyways.  However he had noticed a lack of them... were they really spread that thin?

   The dwarf took the long way home simply as an excuse to leave himself to thoughts about his own fate, and that of his friends...  So rather than going down the long stairway straight home he went out of the hall, and instead headed down a hallway.

   As always, the halls were of silver, but as he went along the fortress got older an older.  Fewer and fewer people crowded the streets as they went along, finally entering the areas of the rich which for the most part hadn’t been disturbed because they never had a need of remodeling.  Engravings of pictures stuck out of the wall, and after looking at one for a moment he realized it was on the founding of the fortress, back when it was only a few dwarves trying to escape a treacherous winter.  The mountain that Goldenhold lay in the more tropical area.  His mind was sucked into the thoughts as they ran around his head.

   Storms of ice were raging through the land, mountains of fire being cooled to stone...  Stonehand, holding a pick, looked around.  Six others were looking at him, as if he had some sort of serious decision to make.  Goldenhold pointed in a direction that he knew would lead them where they desired.  They shrugged, but a snow drift blocked his vision...

   He stood up from a nap.  The area was warmer, and there was a mountain with a sea behind it, various tropical trees dotted the area.  The six were once more staring at him, asking him what they should do.  They claimed the area had all the gold in the world, but they wanted his choice in it. 

   He didn’t need to be urged to answer that one.  He said that yes, and that here a fortress of heaven would come out, capitol of the world.  The others looked at him, surprised by his certainty.  But he would say noththing as he started to walk to the rugged supply wagon, pulling the exhausted mules forward to the mountain.  Once he arrived, he said three words that would be known throughout the world.  “STRIKE THE EARTH!”


   Stonehand woke from the daze.  He noticed his eyes were at the end of the engraving, and he shrugged.  His imagination had gone too far.  He just continued through the place, looking at nothing else. 

   He knocked on the large double doors to his home, but after they didn’t open for a minute he walked in.  He knew what his family was doing.  He walked down the hallway, the sides of it marked with catches that his ancestors had made, and a few of his.  All were stuffed and had a bronze stand holding them, contrasting with the silver.

   He took a right, entering the dining hall of the family.  They were mourning.  They looked at him, a glint of hope in their eyes.  They asked him if anyone else had made it off the boat, their faces shining by the low lights of the ruby chandelier.

   Shaking his head, all of his family cried, so many tears pouring out that a waterfall would have had difficulty competing against the grief in that room.  For a moment, Stonehand remembered that many of the families men had been in that boat, which left Stonehand as the oldest able male in the family.  This thought was scary- it left him in charge.  Of course the elders would give him advice, but now the family’s decisions fell on his shoulders.

   Despite the fact that he had waited for this day to come for a while, to be above his brother’s and cousins, he didn’t like the plate the steak was handed over on.  It was dirty and had bugs on it.

   He was scared.  But he couldn’t leave this restaurant.  Until the bill came in.  And Stonehand was going to have to be the one who payed for it.
Logged
Dwarf Fortress: Your game is working on giving NPC's lives. Our game is working on giving them a working nervous system.
Aahhh I can't find the fish cakes in the bunny level, they keep getting enraged and I don't have any holy hand grenades
The Age of Myth: Goldenhold

Mitchewawa

  • Bay Watcher
  • My pick is the pick that will pierce the heavens!
    • View Profile
Re: The Age of Myth: Goldenhold (A DF Story)
« Reply #88 on: December 09, 2011, 10:33:10 pm »

Similes made of win.

On a side note whenever I see this thread in my 'New replies' feed I'm ecstatic (and I always seem to read your name as RabidAnus).
Logged
Mitch cancels sleep: Interrupted by Clowns

Loud Whispers

  • Bay Watcher
  • They said we have to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
    • View Profile
    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: The Age of Myth: Goldenhold (A DF Story)
« Reply #89 on: December 10, 2011, 08:00:18 am »

Similes made of win.

On a side note whenever I see this thread in my 'New replies' feed I'm ecstatic (and I always seem to read your name as RabidAnus).

I agree with every part of this... Except maybe the anus part lol.
Pages: 1 ... 4 5 [6] 7 8 ... 30