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Author Topic: One-liner game contest! (The winner is...)  (Read 11610 times)

Sensei

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Re: One-liner game contest! (All are welcome, but only one will win)
« Reply #75 on: December 01, 2011, 08:37:52 pm »

There once was a captain of a pirate ship. Every time he went into battle, he would seek out and duel the enemy captain- and before he did this, he always called to his first mate and said "Bring me my red shirt!". One day the crew had recently pilfered a British port town, which is an extremely brash thing to do. They were fleeing from Britain, but they saw a ship getting close to them on the horizon. So the captain called to his first mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" Later they battled the ship. His crew battled the enemy crew, and he battled the captain. He was wounded, but won. The crew did not see his wound however, because his red shirt hid the blood- so his crew saw him and said "How brave our captain is! Surely we can fight just as well!" and they defeated the crew of the enemy ship. The next day they were pursued by two ships. The captain called to his first mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" and he wore it into battle. He dueled both the enemy captains, and the crew, amazed that their captain seemed to be able to defeat two skilled British captains without a single wound, pushed themselves so hard that they managed to defeat both of the enemy crews. But the day after that, there were ten ships on the horizon. The captain knew he would need more than just a red shirt to defeat them all and escape into the Atlantic; he needed a truly special plan, an ace in the hole. So he called to his first mate, "Bring me my brown pants!"

...and that's my one liner.
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Itnetlolor

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Re: One-liner game contest! (All are welcome, but only one will win)
« Reply #76 on: December 01, 2011, 10:05:17 pm »

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Trapezohedron

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Re: One-liner game contest! (All are welcome, but only one will win)
« Reply #77 on: December 01, 2011, 10:21:44 pm »

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

This is best one-liner.
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DFNewb

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Re: One-liner game contest! (All are welcome, but only one will win)
« Reply #78 on: December 01, 2011, 10:37:13 pm »

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
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agentorangesoda

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Re: One-liner game contest! (All are welcome, but only one will win)
« Reply #79 on: December 01, 2011, 10:49:27 pm »

I was at a party and a girl i was chatting up asked me if I was a bisexual; I replied, "Why would someone like me need to buy sex?"

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Bdthemag

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Re: One-liner game contest! (All are welcome, but only one will win)
« Reply #80 on: December 01, 2011, 10:55:23 pm »

I was at a party and a girl i was chatting up asked me if I was a bisexual; I replied, "Why would someone like me need to buy sex?"
ಠ_ಠ
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klingon13524

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Re: One-liner game contest! (All are welcome, but only one will win)
« Reply #81 on: December 02, 2011, 05:07:22 am »

All entries added. (except the sexist one)
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By creating a gobstopper that never loses its flavor he broke thermodynamics
Maybe it's parasitic. It never loses its flavor because you eventually die from having your nutrients stolen by it.

justinlee999

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Re: One-liner game contest! (All are welcome, but only one will win)
« Reply #82 on: December 02, 2011, 05:16:41 am »

A trumpet asked another instrument to blow him, seems like it's all sax, sax, sax nowadays.
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agentorangesoda

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Re: One-liner game contest! (All are welcome, but only one will win)
« Reply #83 on: December 02, 2011, 09:14:24 am »

All entries added. (except the sexist one)



None of these previous entries were sexist
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klingon13524

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Re: One-liner game contest! (Lunatics allowed!) (Good entries needed)
« Reply #84 on: December 02, 2011, 09:47:53 am »

let's try this one:

the best way to be single is to not have a kitchen.
That's the sexist one.
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By creating a gobstopper that never loses its flavor he broke thermodynamics
Maybe it's parasitic. It never loses its flavor because you eventually die from having your nutrients stolen by it.

Flying Dice

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Re: One-liner game contest! (All are welcome, but only one will win)
« Reply #85 on: December 02, 2011, 10:36:31 am »

What, you expect people to read a whole six pages before posting? The nerve!  :P
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klingon13524

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Re: One-liner game contest! (All are welcome, but only one will win)
« Reply #86 on: December 02, 2011, 12:22:59 pm »

I wasn't expecting you to read all the pages (like poor me, the op had to). I just showed you that there actually was a sexist one-liner.
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By creating a gobstopper that never loses its flavor he broke thermodynamics
Maybe it's parasitic. It never loses its flavor because you eventually die from having your nutrients stolen by it.

Itnetlolor

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Re: One-liner game contest! (All are welcome, but only one will win)
« Reply #87 on: December 02, 2011, 02:44:11 pm »

I only see 2 pages (50 posts-per-page).

10ebbor10

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Re: Puntastic game giveaway! (Lunatics allowed!)
« Reply #88 on: December 02, 2011, 02:50:16 pm »

I got another one.

A music store was robbed. The thief made away with the lute.
Lyre
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Empty

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Re: One-liner game contest! (All are welcome, but only one will win)
« Reply #89 on: December 02, 2011, 02:52:50 pm »

Pooping like a pigeon gave me diarrhea.
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