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Author Topic: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___  (Read 208148 times)

Fishbreath

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1740 on: June 08, 2017, 10:15:10 am »

Not necessarily. I'd say the classic SF&F novel works on a model of rising tension on the micro scale, until the end. That said, one problem whose resolution leads to a bigger problem whose resolution leads to a bigger problem is a classic story structure, and that has the fractal aspect you were talking about.

Urist McScoopbeard

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1741 on: June 08, 2017, 10:21:45 am »

Nice story!

I came here for some advice on story structure. How should a scene/chapter be laid out? I've never had any instruction in story lore, so suspect my efforts are similar to those of a child gambolling through a field of wheat.

A la May, I suppose.

Any sub-unit of storytelling, I.E. a scene, sequence, chapter, et al. is usually defined in the same way its parent story is. Assuming you're writing off the more practically-oriented 3-act structure, a scene is laid out roughly the same way.

basically:

Character wants something -> obstacle -> apparent success or failure -> complication of problem -> pivotal moment (the character may or may not get what they want--that's up for you to decide.)

To speak to pacing, it's ultra important. A good metric is to follow is that depending on how large your story is (A novel can meander much more than a short story or screenplay can) every chapter/sequence/scene should reveal:

1.) The character's personality/their "character" for a lack for a better word.

2.) The world. World-Building is incredibly important, the environment should reflect the characters' emotions, the obstacles, the mood, etc. You can really do anything and everything when you properly reveal the world to the reader.

3.) Advance the plot or otherwise pile on the obstacles, problems, and misery for your characters. Forcing your characters into action in the short term to keep us reading, and increasing the tension in the long run--the combination of wanting to find out how a scene ends, and whether or not it will all work out for our protagonist at the end of the story is a winning combination.
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Strife26

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1742 on: June 23, 2017, 04:17:09 pm »

Hello everyone, I actually wrote something I'm happy enough to publish (on reddit, but that's kinda-sorta publishing)!

https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/6j40ok/oc_rescue_of_sargon_1/

It's about 1700 words, pack of mercenaries planning a rescue mission in a sci-fi setting.

Anyone wants to comment or critique it at all, I'd definitely appreciate it.
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Th4DwArfY1

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1743 on: October 12, 2017, 05:21:36 pm »

Doing a creative writing course once a week for a month and a half just for the fun of it.

First homework (A place familiar to you):

The grass is green along the verge, while above the heavens are scattered with orange, red and gold. The colours of autumn are played against the sky’s vast screen, and apples, sweet and hard and small, litter the ground. It is an orchard. Here, I have often gone, for there is a silence present amongst the branches and boles which is lacking elsewhere; a sense of Eden, from which the first fruit tree sprang.

A path winds, weary with wear from many feet, overgrown now with weeds and wilderness, between the brownness of those boles. It bears the promise of adventure in its deep groove, a knowledge that here could become there. Such possibility is a spice added to the dim rustle of leaves, the scratchings of animals. Close your eyes, and you will see – the orchard bears more fruit than apples.

But it is also alive at night. Above, the moon keeps the stars company, and the light of the house seems by far more distant. A quiet breath, a deep inward breath, blows over all, and the trees speak to one another in soft, cellulose voices. Leaves trail the ground in deep drifts, for winter comes, and they must shed their clothes. There, in the darkness of that night, a wooden pallet structure hides, covered in briar and bramble; a childhood haunt, with trapdoor in the back, fashioned from my own young hands for some never-needed escape.

In a way, the orchard itself has become that escape. Never truly needed, but still there; safe, present, and waiting.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2017, 05:23:09 pm by Th4DwArfY1 »
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AlStar

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1744 on: October 16, 2017, 11:09:34 pm »

While not a new piece of work, I thought that I'd mention that all of my (self) published works are available for free - and will be until Friday the 20th.

Take this opportunity to read my finest (or at least most edited and polished) works!

Amazon Reviews/Ratings (especially good ones - although I'd honestly rather get honest feedback than pats on the back) appreciated!

Links are in my signature.

Note to self: Get back to writing! It's been nearly a year since you last really put some time into writing new stuff!

Th4DwArfY1

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1745 on: October 19, 2017, 04:33:27 pm »

Second Homework (A description of a stranger seen in a public place):

She sits with a friend, talking. Food makes the long travel from plate to mouth, and hangs, suspended on air, while the mouth moves. Almost as if she were chewing despite the absence of food, her teeth mashing words and spitting vowels into the emptiness. Her friend seems to understand, and nods at the right moments, false blond head lowering and raising in rhythm with her colleague’s tune.

She laughs, teeth revealed and then hidden in response to some joke. But then she slumps forwards, perhaps wearied by the circuit from and to bed, a circuit which we all mirror. She could be someone’s grandmother, her curls gleaming grey in the harshness of the white, revealing lights. Grey coat, grey chair, grey hair.

But it is not a feeling of dullness which she imparts. Her head may be bowed in speech, and fork seems never to reach mouth, but behind the piercing gleam of glasses are eyes no less perceiving. They dart about the room, free and impartial, touching all with equal weight.

There is no simplicity there.

An enigma, then. Behind the eyes, a universe untapped, while all about her is bustle and noise. Outside, a calm figure, aging, perhaps retired. Eating-and-not-eating as she has perhaps done so often before, caught in the grips of communication. If we listen carefully, perhaps we will hear the words of a prophet from this most unassuming person.
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Bearskie

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1746 on: October 25, 2017, 09:31:38 am »

Hello everyone, I actually wrote something I'm happy enough to publish (on reddit, but that's kinda-sorta publishing)!

https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/6j40ok/oc_rescue_of_sargon_1/

It's about 1700 words, pack of mercenaries planning a rescue mission in a sci-fi setting.

Anyone wants to comment or critique it at all, I'd definitely appreciate it.

Whoa. Never thought I'd see a HFY-er out in the wild.

Reading through this thread. Some interesting things around here. :)

Comrade P.

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1747 on: October 25, 2017, 04:01:38 pm »

Whoa. Never thought I'd see a HFY-er out in the wild.

I tried my hand at this subreddit as well.

It wasn't particularly good, and I dropped the story right in the middle, so I'd suggest not to bother. I mentioning this more for statistics' sake.
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Bearskie

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1748 on: October 26, 2017, 05:10:47 am »

Hey, I actually remember that. Read for abit, then lost track of the plot. Sorry, it was plot point overload.

Comrade P.

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1749 on: October 26, 2017, 07:40:14 am »

Hey, I actually remember that. Read for abit, then lost track of the plot. Sorry, it was plot point overload.

Eh, fair enough.
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Ehndras

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1750 on: November 03, 2017, 05:37:29 am »

Trying out a few new styles of writing. Does this flow well, or is it too contrived? Possibly shouldn't have read Lovecraft's "The Statement of Randolf Carter" an hour before starting this. Definitely borrowed a line from there.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Ehndras

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1751 on: November 03, 2017, 05:56:02 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Keeping the oral tradition alive by telling stories over Discord, apparently. This is a traditional folk tale, but I've forgotten which African culture it's from. ;_;

Apologies for the weird formatting. Like I said, story told over Discord. :p

I feel like the end is starkly missing. I have a bad habit of completing stories as I read them, effectively seeing whether things pan out as expected or take a surprising route. Throwing in my two cents' worth:

Quote
"...instead of screaming and despair from the village, he heard singing and drums...."

Angry that his venom was not as strong as he thought, he climbed up what we now call the fever tree and sicked up all his venom.

It stained the bark green and pooled at the base of the tree, just before its roots.

You see, Cobra had planned this all along: so he slithered up to the base of the tree and began gathering Python's venom... But he was not fast enough, and the other snakes stole some first.

Oblivious to this clever theft, Python watched smugly as singing tribesmen carried the corpse of the man he had surely killed.

Satisfied by the potency of his venom, he slid down the tree to find nothing but a dry stain where his precious gift had once collected.

...And that is the story of how Python lost his venom, and the Cobra became quite dangerous.

Changed up some of the repetitive use of the word venom, altered a few descriptors I felt were somewhat dry, and added my own flair for the fuck of it. Cheers :) Edit: since roots are usually brown or red in most trees, and the venom stained the bark green, I added the bit about not reaching the roots. That bit distracted me as I immediately wondered about whether the roots were stained too. Perhaps its just me, but the edit hopefully eliminates any off-chance of random curiosity distracting the reader.
« Last Edit: November 03, 2017, 06:00:31 am by Ehndras »
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You're never too old to enjoy flying body parts.  
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Ehndras, you are the prettiest man I have ever seen
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"I am a member of Earth. I enjoy to drink the water. In Earth we have an internal skeleton."

MorleyDev

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1752 on: November 13, 2017, 04:32:46 pm »

Found one of my attempts at a not-1st-person short story. Weighing up whether to polish it off and finish it or not.

Spoiler: "Duty (1932)" (click to show/hide)
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Fniff

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1753 on: November 13, 2017, 09:47:01 pm »

First thing, damn good prose. Hooked me from the first paragraph and on.
However, I'm noticing a slight inmanlanvein theme. While the title and the first paragraph indicate the theme being duty, the rest of the text focuses on evil hiding beneath a quiet English vaneer. If you're gonna polish it up (and I recommend you do) I'd focus on Calais's sense of duty as that resonated much better. Make it so he didn't read the book because he wanted to: make it that he was dutybound to do it. In fact, since we're clearly heading towards some sort of shooting spree at the local service (great use of location framing by the by), make it so he's doing it not because he particularly wants to enforce justice, but because he feels bound to do so. Calais's sense of being bound to do what he's done not by personal initiative but by the whims of change and love really resonated with me.
The more obviously horrific theme of evil hiding under pleasantry is good, but duty will really tie it all together, methinks.

Ehndras

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1754 on: November 22, 2017, 09:35:25 pm »

I enjoyed that, thanks for sharing. :) Speaking of unpolished, I recently found an old Advie RP from BattleMaster I forgot existed. Ah, the fun of a quick late-night token RP turned backstory. With some serious editing perhaps it can be assembled into a respectable short-story.


(http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/Black_Scimitar_of_Crushing)

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Quote from: Yoink
You're never too old to enjoy flying body parts.  
Quote from: Vector
Ehndras, you are the prettiest man I have ever seen
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"I am a member of Earth. I enjoy to drink the water. In Earth we have an internal skeleton."
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