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Author Topic: No plot. No sanity. Just dice. SEMI-HIATUS.  (Read 19327 times)

Tiruin

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Re: No plot. No sanity. Just dice.
« Reply #15 on: January 18, 2012, 08:55:05 pm »
((Enter the waitlist, Lyre Cardin as a Human Hunter armed with her trusty bow and arrows and quick reflexes.))
« Last Edit: January 27, 2012, 05:05:11 am by Tiruin »
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Sinpwn

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Re: No plot. No sanity. Just dice.
« Reply #16 on: January 18, 2012, 09:02:51 pm »
>Begin asking everyone in the entire tavern if they have a quest that needs doing. If they do not prove useful, knock each one out with the butt of the sword.
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Nirur Torir

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Re: No plot. No sanity. Just dice.
« Reply #17 on: January 18, 2012, 09:08:52 pm »
Ask the valkyrie, death knight, dwarf, and person with a gauss rifle if they have any quests. They look to be the most interesting people in the tavern, and the most interesting people always have the most interesting quests.
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freeformschooler

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Re: No plot. No sanity. Just dice.
« Reply #18 on: January 18, 2012, 09:11:27 pm »
On second thought, give Vanitas a quest to retrieve my lost family heirloom, an ogre-slaying blade. Then ask the shady man for a shady quest.
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HighEndNoob

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Re: No plot. No sanity. Just dice.
« Reply #19 on: January 18, 2012, 09:14:35 pm »
>Ask one of the poeple around if they have any quests involving ice.
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Quote
(5) You manage to struggle free of the guards and sprint to a safe distance before tossing a knife at one! (5 + 1 = 6) The throwing knife zips through the air, slitting a guard's throat! It then travels around the group of guards like a boomerang. It (5) Slits another throat, (Three 6's in a row!) decapitates three more (!), (4) slices open the last guard's arm, and (2) narrowly misses a random bystander. It then flies back into your hand. Holy crap.

kisame12794

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Re: No plot. No sanity. Just dice.
« Reply #20 on: January 18, 2012, 09:42:28 pm »
TURN ONE

Quote from: freeformschooler on January 18, 2012, 09:11:27 pm
On second thought, give Vanitas a quest to retrieve my lost family heirloom, an ogre-slaying blade. Then ask the shady man for a shady quest.

Roll:6 You give Vantias a quest! Unfortunately the sword is halfway across the world, deep within a dungeon filled with demonic spiders. He refuses. You go ask Shady man for a quest.

Roll:1 He not only refuses to give you a quest, he also throws your drink in your face!

Quote from: _DivideByZero_ on January 18, 2012, 08:51:54 pm
>As if anyone's sheep needs shearing, and offer to do it at a discount price (lets say, 40% off the nearest other shearer's price).

Roll:1 The only sheep in the area are UNDEAD SHEEP. oooOOOHhhh. You try to shear them anyway. They don't like it. The Undead Sheep attacks!

Roll:5 The Undead sheep punches you in the gut! You retch!

Roll:6 You punch the Undead sheep in the head, crushing the skull and shattering the brain! The Undead sheep has been struck down! Yay! Uh oh, it seems that the Undead shepard doesn't like you killing his sheep. To repay him you shear all his sheep for free.

Quote from: Sinpwn on January 18, 2012, 09:02:51 pm
>Begin asking everyone in the entire tavern if they have a quest that needs doing. If they do not prove useful, knock each one out with the butt of the sword.

Roll:2 It seems that no one has a quest for you. You attempt to knock them all out with your sword!

Roll:6 You knock them all out with your sword. The pointy end. Ooops.

Quote from: Nirur Torir on January 18, 2012, 09:08:52 pm
Ask the valkyrie, death knight, dwarf, and person with a gauss rifle if they have any quests. They look to be the most interesting people in the tavern, and the most interesting people always have the most interesting quests.

Roll:4 It seems they have  a quest for you. You need to go collect 20 bear asses.


Quote from: HighEndNoob on January 18, 2012, 09:14:35 pm
>Ask one of the poeple around if they have any quests involving ice.

Roll:5 The death Knight calls you over, saying he needs you to put these bodies "on ice".

Roll:6 You spray the entire room with ice! The ice coats the walls, the door, the windows, the bodies, and the booze. The Death Knight tells you thats not what he meant but it works. It seems that the Ice is blocking the door! You need to smash your way out!
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on January 10, 2014, 12:19:05 am
The non-assholes vastly outnumber the assholes but the assholes can fart with greater volume.
Quote from: IronyOwl on September 02, 2014, 09:40:45 pm
((You're an arm and a torso in low orbit. This was the best possible resolution of things.))

freeformschooler

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Re: No plot. No sanity. Just dice.
« Reply #21 on: January 18, 2012, 09:45:39 pm »
Punch the shady man. Then ask again.
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kisame12794

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Re: No plot. No sanity. Just dice.
« Reply #22 on: January 18, 2012, 09:47:53 pm »
The shady man is dead. The Death Knight killed him. Hmmm, funny that.
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on January 10, 2014, 12:19:05 am
The non-assholes vastly outnumber the assholes but the assholes can fart with greater volume.
Quote from: IronyOwl on September 02, 2014, 09:40:45 pm
((You're an arm and a torso in low orbit. This was the best possible resolution of things.))

freeformschooler

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Re: No plot. No sanity. Just dice.
« Reply #23 on: January 18, 2012, 09:48:37 pm »
Loot the shady man.
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Sinpwn

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Re: No plot. No sanity. Just dice.
« Reply #24 on: January 18, 2012, 10:04:30 pm »
"DARK GODS, I CALL UPON YE TE RAISE MY VICTIMS AS DARK MINIONS SO THAT I CAN BETTER CARRY OUT YER DREAD WILL! THE MORTAL WORLD SHALL FEEL THE AGONY OF MY SWORD AND THE PEACE OF UNDEATH! ARISE! AAARRRIIIIISSSSEEEE!!!"

>Attempt to raise the corpses as undead as loudly and boisterously as possible.
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Nirur Torir

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Re: No plot. No sanity. Just dice.
« Reply #25 on: January 18, 2012, 11:01:42 pm »
I always end up with lame quests that involve a distinct lack of overkill.

I entered this tavern for a reason! Sit at the bar, take a mug, and inscribe it with combined Runes of Everfull and Ale. If it fills with a liquid, drink.
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_DivideByZero_

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Re: No plot. No sanity. Just dice.
« Reply #26 on: January 18, 2012, 11:16:13 pm »
Engulf the sheep in flames. Zombies can't feel pain, right?
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Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth? (Gal 4:16)

HighEndNoob

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Re: No plot. No sanity. Just dice.
« Reply #27 on: January 18, 2012, 11:42:27 pm »
>Bash the ice on the door.
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Quote
(5) You manage to struggle free of the guards and sprint to a safe distance before tossing a knife at one! (5 + 1 = 6) The throwing knife zips through the air, slitting a guard's throat! It then travels around the group of guards like a boomerang. It (5) Slits another throat, (Three 6's in a row!) decapitates three more (!), (4) slices open the last guard's arm, and (2) narrowly misses a random bystander. It then flies back into your hand. Holy crap.

Theifofdreams

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Re: No plot. No sanity. Just dice.
« Reply #28 on: January 19, 2012, 12:07:06 am »
Waitlisting  as the Unreasonably sane cultist of the elder gods, armed with a 3.5 Edition Necronomicon.
(And conveniently posting to watch, to boot.)
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kisame12794

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Re: No plot. No sanity. Just dice.
« Reply #29 on: January 19, 2012, 12:09:20 am »
TURN TWO


Quote from: freeformschooler on January 18, 2012, 09:48:37 pm
Loot the shady man.

Roll:6 You loot Shady man. By loot I mean pick up his body and shove it in your bag.

Quote from: Sinpwn on January 18, 2012, 10:04:30 pm
"DARK GODS, I CALL UPON YE TE RAISE MY VICTIMS AS DARK MINIONS SO THAT I CAN BETTER CARRY OUT YER DREAD WILL! THE MORTAL WORLD SHALL FEEL THE AGONY OF MY SWORD AND THE PEACE OF UNDEATH! ARISE! AAARRRIIIIISSSSEEEE!!!"

>Attempt to raise the corpses as undead as loudly and boisterously as possible.

Roll:1 Nope. Not happening. You do make a lot of noise though, and it seems that the locals don't take kindly to necromancy. They attempt to smash the door down!

Roll:5 Well at least you don't have to worry about smashing the door down. The angry mob did that for you. They surround you!

Quote from: Nirur Torir on January 18, 2012, 11:01:42 pm
I always end up with lame quests that involve a distinct lack of overkill.

I entered this tavern for a reason! Sit at the bar, take a mug, and inscribe it with combined Runes of Everfull and Ale. If it fills with a liquid, drink.

Roll:4 You sit at the bar, grab a mug and doodle on it. It magically fills with a liquid!

Roll:5 It fills with the finest mug of ale you ever tasted! It also seems to be infinite. Sweet!

Quote from: _DivideByZero_ on January 18, 2012, 11:16:13 pm
Engulf the sheep in flames. Zombies can't feel pain, right?

Roll:5 Well you light the sheep on fire. All the wool on their bodies burns off.

Roll:2 Unfortunately the Shepard wanted that wool. I believe that is usually how it works. The Shepard attacks!

Roll:6 The Shepard swings for the bleachers! It connects! You have been knocked unconscious. He loots your unmoving body. He steals your shears!

Quote from: HighEndNoob on January 18, 2012, 11:42:27 pm
>Bash the ice on the door.

Roll:Auto success You sit back, relax, and have a drink with that wizard. He seems to have an infinite mug o' ale. Hmmm the Death Knight is surrounded by an angry mob. You settle in for a show.



Spoiler: Nirur Torir (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: FreeformSchooler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Sinpwn (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: _DivideByZero_ (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: HighEndNoob (click to show/hide)
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on January 10, 2014, 12:19:05 am
The non-assholes vastly outnumber the assholes but the assholes can fart with greater volume.
Quote from: IronyOwl on September 02, 2014, 09:40:45 pm
((You're an arm and a torso in low orbit. This was the best possible resolution of things.))
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