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Poll

What's your opinion on the SCP-foundation

It's cool to read.
- 28 (56%)
It's kind of obtuse.
- 4 (8%)
Pretensious
- 4 (8%)
Stop ripping it off, Kitten, you hack.
- 12 (24%)
No
- 2 (4%)

Total Members Voted: 48


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Author Topic: You are Patient Zero  (Read 313590 times)

zomara0292

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Re: You are Patient Zero
« Reply #3120 on: August 30, 2013, 05:13:46 pm »

I am torn between myself and my wishes. . . . . . .  Chain gun him, dodge to the right and buck his side, then chain gun the girl.
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I hear a piranha is good eating.  I have a spear; I'll be fine!
The Pilot and their cargo handlers paused when they saw that the entire camp is covered in eldritch runes coated in blood. And rotting monkey corpses everywhere..

They decide that they didn't get paid enough for this..

Parisbre56

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Re: You are Patient Zero
« Reply #3121 on: August 30, 2013, 05:34:26 pm »

Oh well. I guess friendship is the answer here. I think we should talk in a calm soothing voice, talk to it about how it is being used and how this path of self destructive rage will only lead to the dark side sorrow and regret. Tell it that all it needs is a friend, a family and we're willing to be that family. Approach slowly, arm extended in a fist, assuring it it's OK, that it's safe now and everything's gonna be fine. Pet it slowly. Then give it a hug. Then bite it in its now exposed and in range neck, rip its fucking throat off, rip the chainguns from its sides giving one to Diane and blast our way through the rest of the facility.

This is an obvious joke.
can I use this?
I don't see why not? I don't know why you're asking.

pikorge

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Re: You are Patient Zero
« Reply #3122 on: August 31, 2013, 03:45:49 am »

Oh well. I guess friendship is the answer here. I think we should talk in a calm soothing voice, talk to it about how it is being used and how this path of self destructive rage will only lead to the dark side sorrow and regret. Tell it that all it needs is a friend, a family and we're willing to be that family. Approach slowly, arm extended in a fist, assuring it it's OK, that it's safe now and everything's gonna be fine. Pet it slowly. Then give it a hug. Then bite it in its now exposed and in range neck, rip its fucking throat off, rip the chainguns from its sides giving one to Diane and blast our way through the rest of the facility.

This is an obvious joke.
can I use this?
I don't see why not? I don't know why you're asking.
Thanks.  :-)
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Re: You are the evo ape.

Graknorke

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Re: You are Patient Zero
« Reply #3123 on: August 31, 2013, 07:36:31 am »

So, if we take this situation there are three important things to note.
1: It is a horse
2: Guns are heavy
3: They only point forwards

It's going to have a hard time keeping balance while turning to point at us. The best strategy would probably be to dodge around it and then throw it off balance as it turns. Not as cool as breaking it by riding, but definitely more likely to succeed.

So yeah, just keep to its sides and shove it over. Optionally, unhook one of the chainguns and have the unbalanced horse unable to do anything.
Seriously who thought this was a good idea?
« Last Edit: August 31, 2013, 12:57:40 pm by Graknorke »
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weenog

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Re: You are Patient Zero
« Reply #3124 on: August 31, 2013, 11:43:01 am »

We definitely don't want to get hit by those guns if we can help it.  But if we can get a horrible undead nightmare horse with guns still attached and functional, that would be great.  Risky having it be part of Diane's horde rather than our own, but it could be entertaining, and she may react well to the gesture.
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Listen up: making a thing a ‼thing‼ doesn't make it more awesome or extreme.  It simply indicates the thing is on fire.  Get it right or look like a silly poser.

It's useful to keep a ‼torch‼ handy.

Kitten Snot

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Re: You are Patient Zero
« Reply #3125 on: August 31, 2013, 01:42:22 pm »

You give a roar and start your rage, while the horse starts spinning up his guns. You charge, leap and take enough bullets that you would have died of LEAD POISONING if that still bothered you. As it turns out, patient gowns aren't the best things for taking bullets.
It would have ripped through your body armor anyways, seeing how it's supposed to block small arms fire. This is sort of big.
You get to the thing, however, and start doing whatever you can while holding on to it's head. A punch here, an attempt at biting there.... It takes the thing about 5 seconds to get you off, which it does by rearing up, sending you flying head over teakettle into a nearby wall. You pick yourself up and rush aside before the wall of bullets hit you.
The horse does it's best to hit you, until it is suddenly hit from the side by Diane. Who is using an automatic weapon from one of the dead guards. They dig into it's flank, but it doesn't seem to care overmuch.

You decide that following Diane's example is more productive to not getting shot at that much, so you nab a pistol and start shooting. the horse-thing is now attempting to crush Diane under-hoof. Diane jumps under the horse just in time to avoid a headstomp, but she takes a nasty hit on her leg.
Looks like it's too bulky to actually hit anything efficiently when it's under it.
You leap at it again, this time from behind, and get in a solid bite on it's back before it throws you off again. It stomps the floor in rage, cracking the stones, and turns around with it's guns ready.
Your attempt at dodging fails, and take the full brunt of the attack. Even worse, the bite does not seem to affect the thing at all! It's in pain from it, but by now something should have happened.
Diane looses another volley, this time hitting it's head. While it bleeds, the bullets don't seem to have pierced the skull. The good news is, it has some trouble seeing now.
By now you're in trouble, rage can mask a lot of pain and you can take many bullets, but you're reaching a limit.You need to finish this fast.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh man, this is actually pretty bad. I'm considering what to do in case of Zero's death.
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Well, they did that once.
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Aseaheru

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Re: You are Patient Zero
« Reply #3126 on: August 31, 2013, 01:48:44 pm »

Someone jump of the idiots back and bite its ear through. That is normally instant tame in horses.
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Graknorke

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Re: You are Patient Zero
« Reply #3127 on: August 31, 2013, 02:06:14 pm »

How big even is this horse?
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Aseaheru

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Re: You are Patient Zero
« Reply #3128 on: August 31, 2013, 02:07:53 pm »

Im guessing big medieval era horse, so thats about 24 hands, right? and thats roughly about 5 foot, 6 foot?
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Graknorke

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Re: You are Patient Zero
« Reply #3129 on: August 31, 2013, 02:58:17 pm »

Im guessing big medieval era horse, so thats about 24 hands, right? and thats roughly about 5 foot, 6 foot?
That is horrifying.

Also how hard can it be to not stand in front of the horse?
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Travisplo

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Re: You are Patient Zero
« Reply #3130 on: August 31, 2013, 03:43:51 pm »

SHOOT AND BITE OUT THE TENDONS ON THE LEGS AND MAKE IT LAME!
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Heh, I posted that as a joke. Then again, this is Bay12 and this plan is crazy enough to work...
Bump all day, bump all night, yeah this thread needs a bump alright!

wer6

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Re: You are Patient Zero
« Reply #3131 on: September 01, 2013, 06:41:13 pm »

SHOOT AND BITE OUT THE TENDONS ON THE LEGS AND MAKE IT LAME!
and get kerb stawped in the prosess, -1
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Urist Mc Dwarf

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Re: You are Patient Zero
« Reply #3132 on: September 01, 2013, 06:58:44 pm »

Someone jump of the idiots back and bite its ear through. That is normally instant tame in horses.
+1

Parisbre56

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Re: You are Patient Zero
« Reply #3133 on: September 01, 2013, 08:51:55 pm »

It can't see well. When it cannot see us, dive head first into some corpses and play dead while eating them. Ambush if horse approaches, attack if the girl is in danger. Would be better if we could signal her to do the same thing so that we don't have to worry about her.

Kitten Snot

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Re: You are Patient Zero
« Reply #3134 on: September 02, 2013, 02:16:30 pm »

You dive headfirst into a pile of dead things, and start eating. Almost instantly, your wounds stop bleeding, but you just realise how HUNGRY you are while you're doing it. The horse waltzes over, being a bbit dazed, and you jump up, attempting to rip it's stomach out.
You miss slightly, but you cause deep wounds in it's chest area. It rears up, throwing you off, but you remain on your feet. The Diane enters the fray again, and jumps on the thing's back from behind.
Now the thing's panicking, doing it's best to throw her off, so you attempt to keep it down, preferably while eating. This rewards you with a kick to the chest, breaking a few ribs, but Diane remains on.
You just give a yell to eat it's ears. She climbs there, and pretty much rips them off. She then jumps off as the horse does a back-flip, attempting to crush her with his weight.

Now it's actually going nuts now, firing it's guns and jumping about. It eventually rushes forwards, and breaks through the metal door with it's head. It runs forward a few more meters, and falls down.
Almost dead now, you walk over to give it the finishing blow. You kneel down, and are about to chomp it's throat open, untill your are kicked away and Doug cuts it's head off with a knife. You stand there in shock
THE FUCK? MY KNIFE!
Doug immediately runs, and turns a corner before Diane could shoot him down.
You have defeated the horse-thing, and there's a door open. What do you do?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Well, no deaths for ya'll yet.
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I make stories and sometimes people like them.
Well, they did that once.
I think.
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