Chapter 76: Not Quite Lee...
The
H.O.E.S. have no time to spare, and thus manage to not pick up a single piece of spoil as they run into the hills, hot on the trail of General Lee and the rest of the Confederate commanders. The conclusion of the Second American Civil War is mere minutes away...
1 Month Later
And we find our heroes now lost again in the vast wilderness of Virginia. After spending weeks searching for any clue on the location or path of Lee, the
H.O.E.S. enter a small town, hoping someone there can give them answers. The town however, appears to be deserted. And then suddenly the
H.O.E.S. find themselves in the middle of town, surrounded from every angle by a sea of white. The outskirts of the town become illuminated with flaming Crucifixes. From the skies comes a single levitating figure:
"BROTHERS! IT IS TIME WE WIPE THE INFERIOR SCUM FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH! THE WHITE EMPIRE SHALL ACHIEVE ITS HIGHEST GLORY!"And then, the sea of Klansmen charge for the handful of figures standing in the center of the town...
Ku Klux Klan:Klan Mob #1 - A horde of Klansmen from the country, they lack decent equipment or training, but make up for it with their unadulterated hatred.
Items: Farming Tools, Torches
Health:
2000/2000Klan Mob #2 - A horde of Klansmen from the country, they lack decent equipment or training, but make up for it with their unadulterated hatred.
Items: Farming Tools, Torches
Health:
2000/2000Klan Assassin - A stringy Klansman sent out to kill enemies of the Klan.
Assassin: +1 to Attack.Items: Dagger
Health:
FineKlan Stormtrooper #1 - An armed Klansmen sent out to perform acts of terror on groups of minorities.
Items: Tommy Gun, Molotov Cocktail
Health:
FineKlan Stormtrooper #2 - An armed Klansmen sent out to perform acts of terror on groups of minorities.
Items: Tommy Gun, Molotov Cocktail
Health:
FineKountry Hunter - A Klansman that brings his hunting skills to the battlefield.
Double Shot: Can attack 2 Targets in the same Turn.Items: Double-Barreled Shotgun
Health:
FineKorrupt Kop - A police officer that secretly aids the efforts of the KKK.
Handcuff: The Kop can Handcuff a Target, which leaves them unable to Attack until they free themselves. 1-Turn Cooldown. Items: Pistol, Handcuffs, Plastic Baton, Light Body Armor
Health:
FineArmored Kar - A truck that has been outfitted with armor and weaponry.
Armored: +1 to Defense.Large Target: -2 Defense to High-Caliber/Piercing Attacks.Items: Machinegun Turret
Health:
FineKnight #1 - The infamous Knights that roam the countryside, murdering civilians, burning down houses and other nasty activities.
Items: Lance, Broadsword, Horse
Health:
FineKnight #2 - The infamous Knights that roam the countryside, murdering civilians, burning down houses and other nasty activities.
Items: Lance, Broadsword, Horse
Health:
FineThe Imperial WizardHealth: Fine
Twilight Sparkle
Items: The General's Oversized Machete Blade, Socially Acceptable Club Behavior (Part of the Official "How to: For Equestrians" Book Series)
Health: Fine
Pastamancer
Items: ASCII T-Shirt (Torn), Skiing Pants, Glass Balls, Merasmus's Bombinomicon & Staff of Wood-ness, Cortez's Chrome, Cyan Garamonde's Samurai/Light U.S. Armor, Sherlock Holmes's Hat, The Boss's Cell Phone, Mobile Turret Parts, "Bikini Inspector" T-Shirt, High Quality Kush.
Health: Health: Fine (Pasta Cocooned)
Applejack
Items: Lasso, Theodore Roosevelt's Chromes, The Boss's Fragmentation Grenades, Hacha Axe, Turkish Saber, Heavy Machine Gat
Health: Fine
Dagoth Ur
Items: Golden Mask, Loincloth, Ash Statue
Abilities: Summon Ash Cloud (3 Turns: Ready!), Call Upon Minions (Once Per Battle: Used), A Present From House Dagoth, Telepathic Power Nap, Decorative "Mickey Mouse" Ears, The Holy Bible
Health: Fine
Al Capone
Items: Tommy Gat, Revolver, Pineapple Bombs, Molotov Cocktails, Brass Knuckles, Baseball Bat, AK47, Cursed Machete, Martini Glass with Tiny Umbrella
Health: Fine
Big Macintosh
Items: Pony Gauntlets, Pony Armor, Armored Greaves, Bandana, Overpriced Souvenir, Straw Hat
Abilities: Apple Family Reunion (3 Turns: 2 Turns)
Health: Fine
The Swedish Chef
Items: Knife, Viking Chestplate, Viking Helmet, Armored Boots, Spoon, Several Bowie Knives, Beer, Roland Deschain's Father's Guns, Dallas Cowboys Hat, Mayo (2 Jars),
Abilities: Summon Mr. Fox or Tom (Mr. Fox Available), Taking Too Much Time! (1 Turn: Ready!) Swedish FUS RO DAH (2 Turns: 2 Turns), Mayo Rush (Passive), Mayo Addiction (2 Turns: 2 Turns to Eat)
Health: Fine
Simo Hayha
Items: Suomi 9mm SMG, Mosin Nagant Rifle, White Sniper Camouflage
Health: Fine
Gary Motherfucking Oak
Items:
Abilities: Bitchmobile Coming in Hot! (2 Turns: 2 Turns), Pokemon!
Health: Fine
Altria Pendragon
Items: Plated Harness, Caliburn
Health: Fine
Elite Kingston S.W.A.T. Team
Items: MPSK Sub-machine Gats, Tactical Shotguns, Riot Shields, Tasers, Flashbangs, Smoke Grenades, 5 Pounds of Kush Herb
Health: Health: 30/30
Automated Turret
Items: Gatling Gat, Legs
Health: Fine
Mr. Tom
Items: Carlos Mencia DVD, TNT, Firebombs
Health: Fine
Soldiers
Items: Soldier Stuff
Items: 3/3
Spaghetti Elemental
Items: Spaghetti Bandages, Shotgun
Health: Fine
Well, I'm back. I wrote this turn up quick, I figure that murdering the KKK should put us all back in the swing of things after my break. What do you guys say?
Author
Topic: Roll to Dodge Princess Celestia, Act II [Actually Done This Time: R.I.P] (Read 320055 times)