Alright, so my medication may have fucked me over.
See, I started on duloxetine a month and a half ago, and until about three weeks ago I didn't realise what effect it was having on me.
Derealisation, apathy, emotional disconnect, a bunch of fun things.
I'm not the most driven person at the best of times, comes with my maybe-ADHD. The feeling that literally nothing here was real combined with the apathy meant that I had literally no impetus to do things that needed doing but weren't immediate, for example... university assignments.
I have one that's nearly a week overdue. I also have a dissertation I've done almost no work on for the exact same reason (Plus severe anxiety for the first term).
I'm gonna ring the doctor tomorrow, explain what happened, and try to get a note off of them so I can go to the university and say "Hey, my doctor put me on a medication and it actually fucked me up even more. Can you make a special exception for me?"
Hope it works, if not I'm absolutely fucked, especially on my dissertation since it's due on the 30th of April and my supervisor won't be present over the Easter holidays which end on the 28th.
Goddamn my rotten fucking brain, and double goddamn the medication that broke it even more. The only reason I know it's the medication is I stopped taking it on Saturday to check and today's the first day in a long time that everything has felt real, I'm actually feeling somewhat driven, and I'm feeling my emotions properly.
Granted it worked for my anxiety. Hard to feel anxious when nothing feels like it matters.