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[Great Order]

I'm gonna be making a call to the doctor first thing tomorrow.
Painful stuff, not life threatening but very, very uncomfortable right now. Like shivering-and-sweating levels of pain, not "Ow this sucks"

[JoshuaFH]

I really have no clue how I'm going to live the rest of my life. It seems that my life is now boiled down to just waiting for horrible things to happen. It seems that the worst part of getting older is that you just accrue more and more pains to carry, and they never go away, you just have to hope you die before it becomes too unbearable to manage.

[McTraveller]

I deal with that sentiment by just doing basic daily activities.  This can range from chores like laundry and dishes (which can be annoying in their own right, because why am I the only one doing it when there are three other people in the house!?!?!), to taking walks, to doing hobbies, etc.

Sure it's not glamorous, but it helps avoid the information overload.

Basically "ignorance is bliss."

[wobbly]

It's a mix of sad and WTF, the passing of Daniel Naroditsky the chess streamer. I was watching his last you tube video 5 days ago. Healthy young person, with a lot of talent, and then 2 days later, in the news he is dead. Nothing to indicate any problems.

Official cause of death is not announced, but everything points to mental health issues, accompanied by online bullying.

Last video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rqPeGKVPbA

Rest in Peace Danya.

[Great Order]

Had a personal thing that I've been wanting to resolve. An opportunity came up to do so, only said opportunity - through nobody's fault I'd like to say - got completely pulled out from under me. So all the working up to it went to nothing and all the pent up emotions that were meant to get if not resolution then at least a degree of catharsis have been left dangling in the fucking wind, and now I'm flip flopping between disappointment, frustration, anger and hurt.

I'm also really spoiling for a fight. I kind of have been for the past year or something, but I'm really spoiling for one now. Thing is I'm not an arsehole so I'm not about to go out and instigate one, and it's not something I'm wanting to do in a controlled environment like a martial art. More fuel for the therapist fire I guess.

[wobbly]

I'm generally upset now, after watching this. Was a person who mattered to a lot of people who had never even met him. A day after posting this he was dead.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzo3JHvg-iw

(daniel naroditsky)

[martinuzz]

In the past 5 days in Sudan, more people have been killed than in the past 2 years in Gaza.
The RSF is killing black people by the thousands at a time. Wherever the government army SAF leaves, the RSF comes and kill anyone who is black. (The RSF forces are slightly lighter black)

Director of Humanitarian Research Lab of Yale University, Nathaniel Raymond says: I cannot put it any other way than that they are finishing the genocide they started 20 years ago. Killing the civilians is not collateral, it is their goal. When I spoke to a contact monday morning, 1200 deaths were reported. At the end of the day, the estimate was already past 10000. I couldn't reach my contacts anymore, it is very likely they have been murdered too. The world has failed.

[Great Order]

I *hate* having ADHD. It's hell. I genuinely just can't properly wrap my head around the fact people can have a job to do that isn't urgent or vital and just do it. If I have any halfway decent amount of time I just can't get on with it. It's not a matter of willpower or something, it's like trying to fly by flapping my arms. The universe just doesn't work that way.

And I don't care about the bollocks "Oh it was a great advantage during hunter-gatherer times!" because it isn't hunter-gatherer times, and I'm positive it's made up cope for people desperate to have a reason to have a screwy brain that isn't just them pulling the short straw.

[Grim Portent]

Our eldest chicken is dying. I've brought her inside so she doesn't have to pass in the cold mud, but I don't think there's anything else I can do for her at this point.

I'm really getting reminded of how my dwarf monitor died, and that's making the whole thing more upsetting.

[wobbly]

I *hate* having ADHD. It's hell. I genuinely just can't properly wrap my head around the fact people can have a job to do that isn't urgent or vital and just do it. If I have any halfway decent amount of time I just can't get on with it. It's not a matter of willpower or something, it's like trying to fly by flapping my arms. The universe just doesn't work that way.

And I don't care about the bollocks "Oh it was a great advantage during hunter-gatherer times!" because it isn't hunter-gatherer times, and I'm positive it's made up cope for people desperate to have a reason to have a screwy brain that isn't just them pulling the short straw.

Probably won't cure your anxiety, but for the last decade, or maybe 2 (maybe even 3) I've not done a lot of shit that absolutely must be done, and 3-ish decades on I still appear to be living. I don't recommend living that way, but I'll also say that some things that need to be done, apparently do not need to be.

[wobbly]

e

Had a personal thing that I've been wanting to resolve. An opportunity came up to do so, only said opportunity - through nobody's fault I'd like to say - got completely pulled out from under me. So all the working up to it went to nothing and all the pent up emotions that were meant to get if not resolution then at least a degree of catharsis have been left dangling in the fucking wind, and now I'm flip flopping between disappointment, frustration, anger and hurt.

I'm also really spoiling for a fight. I kind of have been for the past year or something, but I'm really spoiling for one now. Thing is I'm not an arsehole so I'm not about to go out and instigate one, and it's not something I'm wanting to do in a controlled environment like a martial art. More fuel for the therapist fire I guess.

Also my advise is that most of this stuff doesn't really matter. I've lived a life where I feel like I should not be here, but I am here any way.

[Great Order]

Couple days ago my leg spasmed, I think just one of those random things that happens. Pulled a muscle, yesterday it was sore but today was almost fine so I did Jitsu.

It wasn't fine.

Now if I twist on that leg I sound like a Vintage Story PC getting taking damage.

[martinuzz]

Now if I twist on that leg I sound like a Vintage Story PC getting taking damage.

That's not very specific. What instrument? The oboe?

[Great Order]

Tuba, high pitch.

It's better today, just stiff enough that I'm walking with a limp.

[femmelf]

A friend of mine's significant other is being forced to move across country to do in person work instead of remote.
They were hired remote have always been remote and did really good work by all written accounts for several years.

So splitting up the family/marriage and turning that into a long distance relationship. Those usually fail.
Or she has to quit her job right away to move with him on no notice (even 2 weeks to her job and good luck finding a new one).
The kids are just in the middle of the school year so that's a nightmare.
Then there's the home, rest of their family and life all just uprooted for no good reason. This saves the company no money at all.
No time to do housing arrangements even if they did want to, because it's all just expensive and nothing's available on no notice.
All because some executive moron thought it was a good idea based off nothing but ideology. No sense or real world anything.

There's already a 50% divorce rate in this country and I and every woman I know would be very upset at this to say the least.
This should be illegal. I don't care. Massive fines, penalties whatever it takes.

This timeline is a nightmare, "Hi honey. You have to quit your job and move across country right now. No we don't have housing set up. No I don't know anything my boss just demanded it." How is this real? I don't care it shouldn't be.

We the people mean nothing even though this country is supposed to be by the people, of the people and for the people. We don't understand anything or matter. I'm just screaming into the void. It's the new thing everyone's doing.

"Why aren't people having kids anymore? Don't they know there's a population decline crisis?" It's pretty hard to raise a family long distance by email and even harder to get pregnant by email, so there's that.