Bay 12 Games Forum
Finally... => Forum Games and Roleplaying => Roll To Dodge => Topic started by: bsnott on January 21, 2014, 10:57:16 pm
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You are a badger in the forest. What is your first action?
Note: You only get one life.
Deaths:
BFEL - Ate a bee's nest, with the bees inside of it.
zomara0292 - Choked on a bear's soul.
Yourmaster - Ripped apart because he stepped on a bear's turf.
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Shoot out of the underbrush like a rocket at a Unreal World player.
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Collect various sticks and craft them into a pile of sticks.
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Find Honey.
DESTROY anything that comes between self and honey.
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Find a bear and tame it for the glory of Badgerland!!!!
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ENRAGE. KILL DWARVES.
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Find a bear and tame it for the glory of Badgerland!!!!
Actually screw my idea +1000000 to this.
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(http://s21.postimg.org/oimsr1shv/image.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/oimsr1shv/)
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Find a bear and tame it for the glory of Badgerland!!!!
Actually screw my idea +1000000 to this.
With the power of animal training montage!
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Find a bear and tame it for the glory of Badgerland!!!!
Actually screw my idea +1000000 to this.
+1
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Shoot out of the underbrush like a rocket at a Unreal World player.
(1) You zap out of the bush that you were hiding in, to find some nerd walking around. When you jump up to scratch his shit up, he backhands you to the ground and stomps on you. You are lucky to be alive, but he is now standing over you.
Collect various sticks and craft them into a pile of sticks.
(4) You find a nice assortment of sticks, and mash them together until they become a pile.
Find Honey.
DESTROY anything that comes between self and honey.
You look up to find honey, and you see a bee's nest with honey dripping out of it. When you go up to grab onto it, bees swarm you. You take five stings before you even grab onto the nest!
Find a bear and tame it for the glory of Badgerland!!!!
(4) You search around for a bear, and get it's attention. He walks over to you, and surprisingly doesn't claw you. He still looks rather menacing though.
ENRAGE. KILL DWARVES.
(2) You are rudely awoken from your deep slumber by a pair of hairy, small hands picking you up. You open your eyes and look into your kidnapper's face. He has two small and beady eyes, as well as a great beard that covers up everything else on his face. You claw and claw, but he has you by your tail. Throwing you into a cage, he locks you up and begins carrying you back towards a mountain.
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Be a badger shaman. Summon spirit badgers to fight for me in battle.
Edit: Clarification.
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Hm. Stick pile needs more mud. Get mud and ad it to the stick pile.
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Calmy let myself be carried into the mountain. Start conversing with dwarf in a british accent.
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become a cyborg badger because I can
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DEVOUR NEST, NOM HONEY, KILL BEES WITH MY RAZOR SHARPNESS
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1.Engage in mitosis
2.Find biomass
3.Absorb
4.Repeat 1-3
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I DONT GIVE A SHIT, HONEY BADGA DONT CARE. KICK THAT MOFOS ASS.
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Use our powers as a badger warlock to steal the bear's soul putting him in our power.
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Find stream. Teach bear how to fish like true badger
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Be a badger shaman. Summon spirit badgers to fight for me in battle.
Edit: Clarification.
(2) You focus all of your mind on summoning more badgers, but nothing happens.
Hm. Stick pile needs more mud. Get mud and ad it to the stick pile.
(6) You get so much mud that when you put in on the stick pile, the whole damn thing collapses. Good work, engineer badger!
become a cyborg badger because I can
(1) You look around for metal, but get lost when you do. Wandering a bit too close to a bear's cave, he comes on out. A quick slash to your side and you hit the wall. Now you're on the ground, bleeding.
DEVOUR NEST, NOM HONEY, KILL BEES WITH MY RAZOR SHARPNESS
(2) You take a huge bite out of the nest, with quite a few bees in it. While the bees outside your body continue to sting you all to hell, some bees that you ate (why the fuck) start stinging your throat. The pain makes you pass out, and you aren't waking up. First death, good job.
1.Engage in mitosis
2.Find biomass
3.Absorb
4.Repeat 1-3
(1) I don't know what the hell mitosis is, but you got your badger dick caught in a ceiling fan. Oh yeah, you are also in a building now. Tough luck.
I DONT GIVE A SHIT, HONEY BADGA DONT CARE. KICK THAT MOFOS ASS.
(5) You leap up from the ground, not giving a single fuck, and attach yourself to that nerd's face. You tear both glasses and retainer, and soon he is on the ground. Screaming and wiggling, he somehow manages to throw you. You don't go far though, and you land on his leg. Ripping his leg and groin to shreds, this nerd is no longer mobile. He is at your mercy, and he is crying like a bitch.
Use our powers as a badger warlock to steal the bear's soul putting him in our power.
Find stream. Teach bear how to fish like true badger
(5) "OOOH JA BOOJA, OOOH JA BOOJA" you say to the bear, waving your arms up in the sky. Somehow, the bear seems to understand. You can see his very soul coming out of him, and you take it and put it in your bag. (1) You drag the bear to the stream, and jump in. Hoping that he understands you, you pull him by the arm into the water. Sadly, he didn't get the lesson. He falls into the water, and sinks straight to the bottom.
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Eat building.
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Shite. Use the mud as a glue to hold sticks together, forming a house big enough for a badger.
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Well, I still have the soul. . . . . . . imbue myself with the strength of a bear, by eating the soul.
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Use badger powers to mutate into a giant badger
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Stare the bear down I dare you. Make my day.
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Steal a staff from a mage. Become a wizard badger.
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Climb onto the nerd's chest and recreate the scene from Indiana Jones and rip his heart out. 'Cus Im'a honey badger, and I giveth no shits.
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Find humans on a camping trip. Steal flaming stick from fire and burn campsite. Run.
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Well, I still have the soul. . . . . . . imbue myself with the strength of a bear, by eating the soul.
Best plan
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Possess a random traveler and transform them into a WERE-BADGER!
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Once I'm inside the dwarven fortress, transform into giant badger, and ENRAGE AND START KILLING DWARVES.
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God damn, so many submissions...
Eat building.
(5) You gobble that building to shit. Somehow, you absorbed everything inside as pure muscle. You are the most badass badger on the block now.
Shite. Use the mud as a glue to hold sticks together, forming a house big enough for a badger.
(3) You take the mud and get it to stick. The sticks barely hold, and your leg still sticks out of the house when you lay inside of it, but it's a house.
Well, I still have the soul. . . . . . . imbue myself with the strength of a bear, by eating the soul.
(1) You shove the soul into your mouth, but your esophagus doesn't agree. It creates a clump, and you choke. You wiggle around on the ground for a small while before you suffocate. 2nd death, BY EATING A FUCKING BEAR'S SOUL. WAY TO GO OUT IN STYLE!
Stare the bear down I dare you. Make my day.
(1) You look the bear straight in the eye and begin to talk, but he's already on you by that point. He rips off your leg, and throws that off into the river. He then tears you in half, and eats your remains. Third death, ripped apart by a bear.
Steal a staff from a mage. Become a wizard badger.
(4) You look around the woods for a mage. After about an hour, you see a man sitting on a tree stump. He has a pointy hat and very red eyes, and he seems to be smoking on his wand. You run up to him, and he says "Oh, hey dad". You don't listen to him and claw him directly in the crotch. He falls off of the stump, and you grab his wand. Smoke is coming out of the end of it, and it's made of paper. There seems to be some kind of green material inside of it.
Once I'm inside the dwarven fortress, transform into giant badger, and ENRAGE AND START KILLING DWARVES.
(3) The dwarf takes you inside the fortress, and sets the cage down just past the entrance. Dwarves walk back and forth, not even looking at you. This makes you extremely angry. You try to grow huge, but you just get very angry. You claw and claw, breaking your cage. A dwarf starts to run over to you, and you make him your target. Leaping up onto his face, you dig into his eye. Before you know what happened, you are thrown to the ground.
P.S BFEL - You are only allowed one life, sorry.
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Hm...Well, this is dull.
Time to...EVOOOOOOLVE!
As in transform into either a bigger badger thing or into, like, a fucking dog or some shit.
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Steal a staff from a mage. Become a wizard badger.
(4) You look around the woods for a mage. After about an hour, you see a man sitting on a tree stump. He has a pointy hat and very red eyes, and he seems to be smoking on his wand. You run up to him, and he says "Oh, hey dad". You don't listen to him and claw him directly in the crotch. He falls off of the stump, and you grab his wand. Smoke is coming out of the end of it, and it's made of paper. There seems to be some kind of green material inside of it.
OH GOD, that's no wizard, that was a pothead :P
P.S BFEL - You are only allowed one life, sorry.
Ah well, at least I lived as true Badgers live. Devouring honey and generally not having any fucks to give.
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Steal a staff from a mage. Become a wizard badger.
(4) You look around the woods for a mage. After about an hour, you see a man sitting on a tree stump. He has a pointy hat and very red eyes, and he seems to be smoking on his wand. You run up to him, and he says "Oh, hey dad". You don't listen to him and claw him directly in the crotch. He falls off of the stump, and you grab his wand. Smoke is coming out of the end of it, and it's made of paper. There seems to be some kind of green material inside of it.
OH GOD, that's no wizard, that was a pothead :P
P.S BFEL - You are only allowed one life, sorry.
Ah well, at least I lived as true Badgers live. Devouring honey and generally not having any fucks to give.
I decided it would be fun to see how Bay12ers would react if they were immediately made into badgers. We now know that they would devour the souls of bears, drown bears, be ripped apart by bears, etc. You are the only death that didn't involve a bear.
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Steal a staff from a mage. Become a wizard badger.
(4) You look around the woods for a mage. After about an hour, you see a man sitting on a tree stump. He has a pointy hat and very red eyes, and he seems to be smoking on his wand. You run up to him, and he says "Oh, hey dad". You don't listen to him and claw him directly in the crotch. He falls off of the stump, and you grab his wand. Smoke is coming out of the end of it, and it's made of paper. There seems to be some kind of green material inside of it.
OH GOD, that's no wizard, that was a pothead :P
P.S BFEL - You are only allowed one life, sorry.
Ah well, at least I lived as true Badgers live. Devouring honey and generally not having any fucks to give.
I decided it would be fun to see how Bay12ers would react if they were immediately made into badgers. We now know that they would devour the souls of bears, drown bears, be ripped apart by bears, etc. You are the only death that didn't involve a bear.
Probably because I'm the only player who actually took any inspiration from the real life actions of badgers.
Seriously, Honey Badgers are little psychos that exist solely to find and devour honey, and don't care if said honey has very sting-ey bees occupying it.
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Obtain badger harem.
Eat food.
Grow bigger.
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Obtain badger harem.
((SIGGING))
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Climb onto the nerd's chest and recreate the scene from Indiana Jones and rip his heart out. 'Cus Im'a honey badger, and I giveth no shits.
You skipped meh.
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Dash out of the undergrowth in front of friendly humans with the giant branches that make fire and smoke and hurt things, and playfully chase my tail, hoping for food.
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Find humans on a camping trip. Steal flaming stick from fire and burn campsite. Run.
You missed me too.
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Find arcane reagents.
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Run away. Grow bigger. Find elephant, carp and giant mosquito and fuse to become the KING OF ALL BEASTS, THE DEADLY BADGERSQUITOPHANTCARP.
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Dig a hole like a real badger.