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[noirscape]

There is a solution to both of these problems.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh wow. Where did you get that from? Did you made it just for this thread or did you find it somewhere?

[PyroTechno]

There is a solution to both of these problems.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh wow. Where did you get that from? Did you made it just for this thread or did you find it somewhere?

I found it on Google.

[TheBiggerFish]

Which said I think I've seen elsewhere, here, before...

[austinwelser]

Dear UristMcpartydorfs

  While I am happy you decided to celebrate the death of our supply of nobles wit a party, could you have waited until AFTER the caravan left? we have rooms filled to the brim with trade goods and they have valuable wood that we need.  Get to work or I shall deem that you are actually all nobles in disguise.

 Sincerely,
   Your tantruming overseer

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

Dear UristMcpartydorfs

  While I am happy you decided to celebrate the death of our supply of nobles wit a party, could you have waited until AFTER the caravan left? we have rooms filled to the brim with trade goods and they have valuable wood that we need.  Get to work or I shall deem that you are actually all nobles in disguise.

 Sincerely,
   Your tantruming overseer

Valuable. Wood. Two words that are completely opposite in meaning. what the carp?

[PyroTechno]

Dear UristMcpartydorfs

  While I am happy you decided to celebrate the death of our supply of nobles wit a party, could you have waited until AFTER the caravan left? we have rooms filled to the brim with trade goods and they have valuable wood that we need.  Get to work or I shall deem that you are actually all nobles in disguise.

 Sincerely,
   Your tantruming overseer

Valuable. Wood. Two words that are completely opposite in meaning. what the carp?

It can be used for a variety of cheap and simple crafting tasks, and is excellent for pissing off elves.

[cochramd]

It can be used for a variety of cheap and simple crafting tasks, and is excellent for pissing off elves.

And more importantly, creating lightweight storage units and hauling devices. But hey, Urist, if you want to spend the rest of your miserable life hauling around lead bins, lead barrels and lead and cinnabar large pots in lead wheelbarrows and lead minecarts, crying yourself to sleep at night because hauling doesn't train strength anymore, THEN BE MY BLOODY GUEST.

[cochramd]

Whoops, I hit "quote" instead of "modify".

[Urist McRas]

Dear merchants.

I understand that in my land you expect some level of protection from me. But you have to undersand me too: this outpost was established only several months ago and we don't have much of a mlitary. Actually we don't have a single weapon except picks and a training axe. I was pretty sure you understood it because you had brought five metal-armored and armed guards with you.

I also undersand you may encounter something so dangerous that you have to abandon a busyness opportunity and run for your life. Now, tell me, why do you consider A PARROT one of those dangerous things? One little bird, not even a flock!

It was really brave of you not to run immediately but to take your time and load back all unloaded goods. Have you noticed that the parrot was killed during the packing? Still too scared to trade, you cissy? Okay, see you next year. You are lucky that I need you, as we are low on metals.

Sincerely, overseer of the Nishestun outpost.

[Henry47]

Dear Miners

Could you please stop digging with the excuse "warm stone located" or "damp stone located". I know those stones are next to rivers or the magma sea, but i am not breaching into them, you will be perfectly safe. It is really really annoying to have to constantly redesignate digging designations whenever i am mining a room above the magma sea or a tunnel under a river.

Kind Regards, the overseer of Mountainhome Zulbanrodum "Bannerbowels"

[PyroTechno]

Dear Miners

Could you please stop digging with the excuse "warm stone located" or "damp stone located". I know those stones are next to rivers or the magma sea, but i am not breaching into them, you will be perfectly safe. It is really really annoying to have to constantly redesignate digging designations whenever i am mining a room above the magma sea or a tunnel under a river.

Kind Regards, the overseer of Mountainhome Zulbanrodum "Bannerbowels"

Dear Overseer

Well, excuse us for not having access to that magic all-seeing map thing that you keep locked in your office!

Sincerely, Urist McMiner, who can and will murder you for strange mood components later

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

Do you live in a desert or what? There's wood two feet out the door where I play.

[cochramd]

Do you live in a desert or what? There's wood two feet out the door where I play.

There were trees right outside my fort too. Key emphasis on the past tense there.

[Torrenal]

Dear Urist Bookkeeper
In reviewing your tallies after a dwarf took to a strange mood, I noticed we had 29301 small animals in stock. 
I admire your dedication to keeping accurate tallies of all things, you have every single bee counted.

That's just... wow. 

Your amused overseer.

[Pseudo]

Dear overseer,

How would I keep track of how the bee population would change over time if I didn't know how many there were to start with? You did tell me to tally everything, after all...

Urist Bookkeeper