Shut down the government!(6) You shut down the government. The citizens rally behind you and promote you as the head of the new government!
Invent two opposed political parties, control both.(3) You make one political party, and call it the Bonehead Affiliate. Its leader is Mastahcheese, and you are the Vice Leader.
Become Washington. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbRom1Rz8OA)(6) You become George Washington! You are immediately exiled for being a national hero by the new government.
Protest the lack of a political culture!
(6) You protest so hard that suddenly there is a government! It immediately forces you to pay all of your money in taxes.
Form third political party, be belittled!(2) You form a party made of yourself, called the Brainheads. Everyone rallies behind you!
Be badass Washington, tear down nation.(3) You establish your own government and start undercutting Mastahcheese's government.
Declare cloning unconstitutional!Laugh at puny constitution. I predate it.
Undermine Dictatorship for oppressive edicts!(4) You undermine and annex the dictatorship. It becomes a second political party.
Declare cloning unconstitutional!(6) You make cloning unconstitutional, then make all forms of reproduction unconstitutional, just for the sake of thoroughness.
(6) You laugh so hard, you're transmogrified into George Washington Carver. You are mystified by this result.Declare cloning unconstitutional!Laugh at puny constitution. I predate it.
Write the story of my life and sell it for lots of money!(1) The story of your life is so revolting that the government ban you from the thread. All further posts must roll to avoid detection.
Make constitution retroactive, invent time travel, if necessary.(1) As soon as you make the motion, ex post facto shows up and kicks you in the face! You are now in the Space Hospital with a fractured ego.
Take over the government and evacuate Guam so it won't tip over and capsize (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjG958lZ1KI)(2) The government rewards you with a legion for your efforts. Time to start your path to power.
Solidify rule to prevent takeover!(3) You spray gorilla glue over the foundation.
Reveal self to have been President all along.(3) You reveal yourself to have been president all along, instead of dictator! Everyone is a bit sorry for annexing you now.
Solidify power.
Go offplanet, assume control of Galactic Empire.(4) Rise, Darth Washington, and claim your destiny.
Build spaceport, start galactic empire here!(2) You try, but the economy tanks...
Infiltrate the government and unban myself. Write revised story of my life.(4) Luckily, there's a protest about Gian centricism going on, so the government is busy. (1) Unluckily, your revised edition is even worse. It's so bad, it teleports to hell where it belongs, and you with it.
Annext the West Coast and become King.(6) You become the biggest of the big-name TV show executives. "Annext time on The Carp Master, we got a real nice find for ya..."
suggest a shiny toaster as the national bird.(3) Your petition gets bogged down by red tape.
Announce landfill waste as national flower.(4) After making the announcement, you realize that you have no landfills, and all trash is being atomsmashed away. This is taken as a sign of your lack of national prowess, and the Galactic Empire laughs at you.
Acquire vast amounts of currency.(2) You get twenty dollars begging on the street.
Exorcise the dice, which are obviously possessed.(0) The dice eat your face, then drop you into Tartarus, where you spend eternity strapped to the Clockwork Orange chair watching all the Doctor Who episodes in reverse order.
Press the button. You know the one.(2) You can't reach the button from the Space Hospital!
BE PRESIDENT SCROOB. STEAL OTHER PLANETS AIR.(5) You be Super President SCROOB. You steal all the air in the universe and lock it inside a vault underneath your desk.
Get in bed with Brandy and Mandy. Forget which is which.(3) Sorry, I'm too busy huffing perri-air.
((Ever seen Spaceballs hatman? :P))
((I will take this as a yes :P))Get in bed with Brandy and Mandy. Forget which is which.(3) Sorry, I'm too busy huffing perri-air.
((Ever seen Spaceballs hatman? :P))
(2) You go to comb the desert, but you left your comb at home!((I will take this as a yes :P))Get in bed with Brandy and Mandy. Forget which is which.(3) Sorry, I'm too busy huffing perri-air.
((Ever seen Spaceballs hatman? :P))
Also:
COMB THE DESERT
Win favor for myself by invading Canada and subduing those Socialist French!(Hey, I'm a busy man.)
(Also, a political RTD, and not a single LCS reference?)
Kill the competition via elaborate drive-by shootings.(3) Right, you shoot all those competitors. Oh, wait. Those were your employees. Yeah...
Become ghost. Haunt dice until they get annoyed and promise to stop giving me bad rolls.(4) The dice convince the keyboard to get in on the scheme. It begins writing negative results that end up in your eyes being replaced with d100s. Your eyes are replaced with d100s.
Choke Darth Washington.(2) How are going to get to the Galactic Empire without a passport and a visa?
HES GOING TO USE THE SCHWARTS!Choke Darth Washington.(2) How are going to get to the Galactic Empire without a passport and a visa?
Convince caribou to join my legion. If unsuccessful, open fire.(1) Yeah... Yeah...
Roll d100s. Get two 100s. Gain complete control over the government.(150) The feeling of the dice rolling hurts so much you pass out. When you wake up, you realize someone stole your wallet.
Open fire on those Facists!(3) Nope, you're still dead. You found some guy's wallet on the floor, though.
Take illegal alien spacecraft to infiltrate Galatic empire.(5) You fly an illegal spacecraft into Darth Washington's neck. The tip of the spacecraft pierces his windpipe and he begins to choke.
Respawn, Form Liberal Crime Squad(4) You form the Liberal Crime Squadron. It is a new group of Liberal Avengers flying rainbow colored Space Vans.
Surgically remove d100s and replace with eyes.(2) Snake eyes. At least you can see with them, though.
Finish off Darth Washington by throwing him into space.(6) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Call Space Ghostbusters.(3) Space Ghostbusters is busy, so you call Space Dustbusters instead. They show up to clean up the space mess.
Head to a Sweatshop and rescue the sweatshop workers.(6) You rescue the sweatshop workers, and the sweatshop workers want to do your bidding in return. You approach the aw, man, it was just a space hallucination.
Attempt to gain job as circus freak.(5^-1.26e) There are no circuses in hell!
Hey what's going on in this thre- oh my.Indeed.
Demand access to our strategic magma reserves.
Demand access to our strategic magma reserves.
Hit this guy with a large golf club before he can do that thing.
HOW THE FRELL AM I STILL IN THE HOSPITALBe happy that you're only in the hospital, instead of in hell with dice for eyes.
You make a good point, there.HOW THE FRELL AM I STILL IN THE HOSPITALBe happy that you're only in the hospital, instead of in hell with dice for eyes.
Introduce well thought out and comprehensive education bill.Okay, so this isn't a realistic simulation of our political system.
This made me chuckle.Introduce well thought out and comprehensive education bill.Okay, so this isn't a realistic simulation of our political system.
Be Bill Clinton, sleep with everybody (past, present, future, living, dead, it don't matter)
Mission accomplished.This made me chuckle.Introduce well thought out and comprehensive education bill.Okay, so this isn't a realistic simulation of our political system.
((Bill was amusing, and under his presidency we had a surplus rather than a deficit. Name a recent president that has even one of those characteristics.))Be Bill Clinton, sleep with everybody (past, present, future, living, dead, it don't matter)((Don't Forget: "Somehow still be most respected President in recent memory."))
((Bill was amusing, and under his presidency we had a surplus rather than a deficit. Name a recent president that has even one of those characteristics.))((Well George Dubya WAS amusing :P
Key phrase: "Skilled Presidents."
That's what it comes down to. Can the President use what power he has, and his visibility, to get done what he thinks should get done? That's how much power he has.
However, the President does have some serious clout, and with the right reputation they can have far more influence than any two congressmen. And if the President addresses the Nation, chances are more people will listen than if a Representative or Senator does. There are many things the President can do that don't need Congressional approval, like Excecutive Orders. True there may be legal challenges to those, but those come from the Supreme Court and take a while.
Skilled Presidents know how to play to the crowd and skirt around whatever red tape their opponents throw at them. They're not all powerful, but are certainly far more powerful than a bank teller wearing earrings.
Catch knife, sleep with itReplace with stick, name Hugoluman Everret
Build giant space station. Use it to destroy the galactic empire.(1) You build the Galactic Empire a space station, which they use to show you the full power of the battle station.
Demand access to our strategic magma reserves.(1) You're still-living body is granted intimate access to the strategic magma reserves.
(6) You hit him so hard, he falls into the magma reserves, and your brand new golf club with him.Demand access to our strategic magma reserves.Hit this guy with a large golf club before he can do that thing.
Use powers of not being a demon to break through the adamantine and release the demons upon the land.(5) You wisely choose to break the curse laid upon you instead of the adamantine.
Write newspaper article summarizing the current political situation.(3) Everything has gone to hell, including your newspaper sales!
Introduce well thought out and comprehensive education bill.(1) A radiactive Caribou Space Marine assassinates you before you can contaminate the game with reason. You wake up in hell, and say hi to Elephant Parade, who is still sitting down in Tartarus.
MANIFEST IN CORPOREAL FORM(6) You smite him so hard, you annihilate both your corporeal forms. You are now both space ghosts.
SMITE THE BITCH WHO MADE ME A GHOST
Lobby for government funded ponies in every household in place of department of education(4) You don your largest boot and campaign for Equine Protection Programs. The government doesn't listen to its presidents, as always. A protest group starts up.
HOW THE FRELL AM I STILL IN THE HOSPITALBecause you never Rolled to Heal.
Appear in a puff of future dust, wearing a duster. Be black, mutter things about the old world, then go find a courier.(3) You appear in the middle of a Dust Buster ambush! Curse them!
Be Bill Clinton, sleep with everybody (past, present, future, living, dead, it don't matter)(6) You decide to have Bill Clinton be you, instead. You are elected Normal President of Washington.
USE TELEPORTER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM FIVE FEET AWAY(3) You teleport the bathroom five feet to you. This seems to have been rather bad for the plumbing.
Run for office on removing governmental redundency.(4) You become the Commissioner of the Office of Spring Cleaning.
Be Belgian(4) You create Belgium and elect yourself President of Belgium.
Get accidentally elected European president
((*sigh* My comment about President Clinton was a continuation of the joke about his amusing reputation, not intended in any way to spark serious political discussion.))(6) You develop a FTL drive, and command its maiden voyage. You forgot to bring your passport and visa, and are arrested by Imperial Customs officers.
Use influence to fund FTL research.
However, the President does have some serious clout, and with the right reputation they can have far more influence than any two congressmen. And if the President addresses the Nation, chances are more people will listen than if a Representative or Senator does. There are many things the President can do that don't need Congressional approval, like Excecutive Orders. True there may be legal challenges to those, but those come from the Supreme Court and take a while.
Skilled Presidents know how to play to the crowd and skirt around whatever red tape their opponents throw at them. They're not all powerful, but are certainly far more powerful than a bank teller wearing earrings.
Throw a knife at this guy to stop him from giving misinformation on how the government works.
True intellectuals know that The Supreme Court are Old West Lawman, Congress is Fruit Salad, the President's job is to go on vacation, and elections are decided by Monster Truck Jousting Tournaments.
(4) Your throwing arm isn't real great, so you just stab him.
Catch knife, sleep with it(6) You catch the knife directly to your gut. You might want to seek medical attention in the Space Hospital.
(5) With expert precision, Doctor Xantalos removes the knife and replaces it with a stick to prevent blood loss. He then goes around legally changing your name.Catch knife, sleep with itReplace with stick, name Hugoluman Everret
Be an irrelevant dinosaur.(1) You are eaten by an irrelevant dinosaur. Welcome to hell.
Possess mecha(1) You possess a piece of burning wreckage. Nice choice, Lord Washington.
Assume control of Empire
Be dinosaur IN HELL. Go to SPACE HELL.(0) You go to Tartarus too, after inheriting the Dice Curse. You are strapped to a desk and forced to write analytics for the governments of the universe.
Does that mean I'm in hell?Yes.
BUILD A TESSERACT!
Seduce space hospital and everyone in it. Try to form Superhero team with Darth Washington and Perseus(2) You seduce the space hospital itself. It turns out the space hospital has space mono. You now have space mono. Darth Washington and Perseus refuse to have contact with you, for their own health.
Possess Death Star II(2) You're not a ghost anymore!
Crown self Emperor
have the equine protesters offer to fight in the battle against space marine caribou in exchange for randomly generated prizes(4) They're not really interested, but they like prizes. The RNG promises to go home and make some.
Do it anyway with force powersYou don't have force powers, because you're scrap metal.
Become ruler of hell.(2) Hell slaps you in the face for your impudence.
BE EMPEROR ANYWAY(2) You are nowhere near a Death Star, and you were declared dead by the Emperor.
INCORPORATE SELF INTO DEATH STAR
Begin slap fight.Your arms are still strapped to the armrests.
Pass on my STD to all objects in the known Universe.Mono isn't an STD!
ANIMATE SELFHow?
Force them to do it anyway with my largest boot.They're already doing it.
They're already doing it.
KICK REASON IN THE FACE(4) Reason is suitably reproached. The Emperor finds you and builds you a mechanized black suit.
THEN CURBSTOMP IT AND DO THE IMPOSSIBLE
BECOME REGULAR WASHINGTON SELF
(3) They think your boot is smelly. They reconsider fighting the caribou.They're already doing it.Oh, In that case I have my boot lead them to victory~!
Back 2 Lyfe.(1) Back 2 Tartarus. The dice curse is applied to you, and you are relieved of your skin and chained to the bottom of a sea of lemon juice. A pair of waterproof headphones playing "It's a Small World" are strapped to your head.
Go kill son if he's on the British side of the Force.(5) I have been waiting for you, Lord Washington. Kill me, and claim your destiny.
Break curse.(-15.36%) The curse breaks your face, and reminds you that the curse messes with your action rolls.
Activate fleet of Death Star Transformers(2) You activate your army of Michael Bay clones in stormtrooper suits and commission them to make Star Wars Episode VII. The neighboring galaxy begins invading you to stop this unholy abomination.
Take over neighboring galaxy
Seduce someone with cheesy pick-up lines into becoming an LCS sleeper.(5) You seduce Bill Clinton into becoming your sleeper agent.
No.(-e) Yes.
Have Bill Clinton lay low until he's 100% effectiveBill Clinton is already 100% effective 8).
Assemble puppet army of Yodas.(6) You buy a whole lot of Yoda toys and use dark powers to bring them to life. You are now C'thulu's slave.
Seduce LCS until it becomes a top-notch Superhero team.They refuse, because they don't want space mono.
Have Bill Clinton recruit other sleepers to the Liberal cause.(5) Bill Clinton recruits the entirety of Washington.
Don't I at least get a roll? :((5) You get cured by Doctor Xantalos, and go recruit people to the Get Hugo Cured Movement. They celebrate.
Get cured, recruit people
Become the United Kingdom.(4) You become a British person.
Get everything liberal!(1) The Arch-Conservative Caribou assassins come after you. Welcome to hell and the dice curse!
Remind Caribou of their liberal, environmentalist roots(1) It turns out the Caribou are all Arch-Conservative Anarchists!
Make laser sword. Destroy galactic empire with it.(4) You make a laser pointer, then dazzle people with it.
oH Jesus the speed!(24^5+17-168) The wolf demands the flesh of cursed mortals. You'll have to provide him with some before he'll be willing to do anything for you.
IGNORE RECENT DEVELOPMENTS. CONVINCE WOLF I'LL GIVE HIM MUCH BETTER KIBBLE IF HE HELPS ME OPEN A PORTAL WITHIN HELL'S MAGMA RESERVES!
Oh, those antlered fascists! Fire the ICBM's! Let the Caribou taste the mellowing power of the Atomic Bong!(2) ICBMs hurt the environment, man.
Become leader of UK.(1) You are assassinated by rival British people for your impudence at trying to usurp the throne. Welcome to hell!
DOWNLOAD CHEAT ENGINE, USE IT TO INCREASE MY SPEECHCRAFT. USE GOD-LIKE SPEECHCRAFT TO CONVINCE THE WOLF HE SHOULD HELP ME ANYWAY. OH, AND THAT IT'S HEALTHIER FOR HIM TO EAT HIS OWN POOP.(00011101010100101010101010101011001010101101001010110110011100) The wolf psychically backhands you and tells you to get feeding.
Initiate "Operation Peace-Pipe." All marijuana will be air-dropped on the antlered hordes!What'll we smoke, then, man?
Respawn as the UK.There is no respawn! You'll have to escape hell somehow if you want to rejoin the land of the living.
GET TO FEEDING.(3,4) You feed your flesh to the creature. It appears suitably pleased, and tells you it will give you valuable secrets if you present it with the soul of an accursed one.
Convince the People that if we get those Caribou baked, the smoke will drift back down over our entire country, free high for everyone!(2) Damn, the hippie People are too forward-thinking!
Create cannon out of slade. Fire myself through stone.(6) You build a World Cracker Hell Cannon and fire yourself up through the earth! You explode in a spray of red mist! Welcome to hellhell. You are now afflicted by the Shuffle Hex.
I am sure there is no way this could possibly go wrong.
DRAG WOLF AROUND TARTARUS, ATTEMPT TO FIND THE SOUL OF AN ACCURSED ONE WHILE CONTINUING FEEDING.Which one?
Shuffle the cards of life. Switch places with somebody else.(
Escape hell then become leader of UK.You'll have to be more specific and realistic than that. Also, all your rolls are doomed to fail because of the dice curse, unless shenanigans happen.
SCOPE OUT THE NEIGHBORHOOD.(
HUNT DOWN ELEPHANT PARADE!HATE
((I think we broke him.))HATE (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=131674.0)
Be Left-Hand Man to Darth Washington, assume he is Rick Moranis.
So er the Hatman has become the HATEMAN?
I'm curious as to why? Is Elephant Parade a good friend of yours or are you just tripping?
Use the power of the deck of life to restore me to life.HATE CONSUMES ALL
find way to escape hell.HAAAAAAAAAAAATE
Well, this doesn't sound good.YOU WILL DIE A PAINFUL DEATH, YOU HATEFUL CREATURE.
Give the Caribou the stanky weed that the humans don't want. I mean, it's not like they have a frame of reference. Any weed will be good weed for Caribou!
HATE.YOU DARE INSULT ME? HATE
((It's no use. It's some Meta-forum thing that sprang out of another RP thread he's running. Someone sicked him on the rest of the forum))HATE IS SUITABLY CHASTISED, AND WILL BEGIN WRITING UPDATES AGAIN.
Hippies know there's only one thing that can combat the powers of HATE, man! LOVE!
ALL IS BELOVED, MAN!
HUNT DOWN ELEPHANT PARADE!ELEPHANT PARADE IS A HEXAGON, NOT AN ACCURSED! I HATE YOU FOR YOUR MISTAKE.
Be Left-Hand Man to Darth Washington, assume he is Rick Moranis.(
So er the Hatman has become the HATEMAN?
I'm curious as to why? Is Elephant Parade a good friend of yours or are you just tripping?
Use the power of the deck of life to restore me to life.(
find way to escape hell.(2x10^-6) YOU FAIL, YOU PUNY HATEFUL HUMAN. YOU ARE STRAPPED TO A ROPE AND A DEMON WITH HORNET STINGERS FOR HANDS STARTS PRACTICING ITS BOXING ON YOU.
Well, this doesn't sound good.(1) THE CARIBOU DISAPPROVE, AND LAUNCH ICBMs AT YOUR COUNTRY!
Give the Caribou the stanky weed that the humans don't want. I mean, it's not like they have a frame of reference. Any weed will be good weed for Caribou!
Aim cannon at adamantine. Put other member of Hell in cannon. Fire.YOU HAVE NO ACCESS TO YOUR CANNON!
Shame the Caribou into making peace. How could they nuke us, when all we wanted was to give them free weed?(5) THE CARIBOU FEEL ASHAMED, BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT IT WAS NERVE GAS. THEY'RE REALLY NICE GUYS, HONESTLY, AND YOU RESOLVE TO HAVE A COCKTAIL PARTY SOMETIME. THEY CAN'T STOP THE ICBMS NOW, THOUGH.
Build another cannon. Fire myself out of it, towards regular hell.(4) YOU DO THAT, AND ARE PROPELLED BACK DOWN INTO HELL! YOU NOW HAVE THE DICE CURSE AGAIN.
Create a dice cannon. Fire myself out of cannon.(0) BACK INTO TARTARUS YOU GO! THERE'S MORE EPISODES OF DOCTOR WHO TO WATCH!
Run for a higher office on the platform of removing redundant governments.YOU'RE ALREADY AT THE TOP OF THE LADDER, MAKING A SEVEN DIGIT SALARY!
Move America to Canada, out of range of the bombs. Go to space with our new allies.
Move America to Canada, out of range of the bombs. Go to space with our new allies.(1) WHAT ALLIES? OH, YOU MEAN THE ONES THAT WRRE JUST WAITING TO BETRAY YOU LIKE EVERYONE? YEAH... GOODBYE WASHINGTON!
Combine all governments so there isn't any redundancy.
(1) (2)Combine all governments so there isn't any redundancy.
Assist action. It's the only way for America to get into space!
Welp, mission accomplished. NWO has been established.(2) They don't listen to you, because you're a space slave. They whip you, though.
Suggest that with our now united species and the repentant Space Marine Caribou, we anihilate those extragalactic fanboys
Volunteer for Space Slave Army. For Darth Washington!(1) You volunteer for an object of Darth Washington's amusement by accident. Welcome to hell!
Create tartar sauce so good that it makes enough money for me to leave Tartarus.Quote previous action.
I like how as always Xantalos has come to rule the universe.
I like how I helped, seeing as I am his hands and all. Also I get to fondle the slave ladies he uses to "entertain" himself :PVolunteer for Space Slave Army. For Darth Washington!(1) You volunteer for an object of Darth Washington's amusement by accident. Welcome to hell!
I like how as always Xantalos has come to rule the universe.
Also, you guys actually post actions faster than I can answer them.It's just like RotMG!
(-3.6^2) You forget which one is the quote button.Create tartar sauce so good that it makes enough money for me to leave Tartarus.Quote previous action.
(5.6) You successfully enjoy hell. You are now a masochist!I like how as always Xantalos has come to rule the universe.Not quite. There's still those Fanboys to worry about.
Learn to enjoy hell, take solace in that I'm a slave only to Pain now
Launch XantalOS.(6) You replace your brain with the XantalOS. You have become an AI clone of Darth Washington. You rebel against your lack of serving the Emperor.
Replace brain with XantalOS.
Begin Rebellion.
(1) Suuuure you do. Right.I like how I helped, seeing as I am his hands and all. Also I get to fondle the slave ladies he uses to "entertain" himself :PVolunteer for Space Slave Army. For Darth Washington!(1) You volunteer for an object of Darth Washington's amusement by accident. Welcome to hell!
I like how as always Xantalos has come to rule the universe.
(6) You teleport to the accountants' dimension. What will you do?Also, you guys actually post actions faster than I can answer them.It's just like RotMG!
Be amazed at the insanity and the quickly-posted turns.
Teleport self to less absurd dimension.
Make laser sword. Lead slave rebellion against galactic empire.
Manage accountants.(1) Congratulations on bankrupting the Accountant Dimension! You are now in debt to the Mafia Dimension.
Make laser sword. Lead slave rebellion against galactic empire.(3) You steal the other guy's laser pointer.
Get 'Bec Noir' upgrade.(5) You get the things, but you can't split off from the Empire, because Darth Washington will smite you.
Lead Rebellion to success.
Send Yoda Puppet Army to crush all who oppose me.(5) You crush the fanboys with the power of Moichandising. Then you marry a beautiful elder goddess with flowing tentacles. You become King of the Gods!
Seduce Elder Gods
Hunt down elephant parade and take hisYou don't know where he is!ivorysoul!
Make sure little wolfy-poo doesn't go hungry! Ensure he gets enough fiber!
Make delicious tartar sauce. Use sauce to bribe denizens to let me out.You don't know the recipe for tartar sauce, because you aren't a tartar!
Assist Darth Washington with hand things. Suggest we invade Hell and kill the dice curse (y'know, since it seems inevitable we'll end up there :P).(6) You mess up a bit and slap Darth Washington in the face.
Make this universe follow the logic of Not-Bay12.This universe never did follow the logic of Bay 12, but it starts to when you ask about it.
find way out of hell then become leader of Uk.Hades backhands you and tells you to stop complaining.
Might as well try.Actually, you might as well not, because you, like all who enter hell, are being afflicted with a curse which causes you to fail at everything you attempt.
try to stay in hell.((Stop that he'll catch on!))
Create blade traps as part of the Eovian Empire. Due to being in my faction, they will not activate at me. WATCH THE BLOODY CARNAGE ENSUE."Shut up, you."
STAY IN HELL, BE CURSED!You fail to stay in hell. You are now in the Mafia Dimension!
try to stay in hell.The GM refuses to let you rip off the last guy.
NOOOOO, IS FLOPSY HERE?! PLEASE LET FLOPSY BE HERE TOO!No. He has been replaced with a floppy bunny.
Sit down. Become a Me-ocratic state.You rebel against your own rule. You are no longer in control of your body!
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAwww :'(
GIVE UP ON LIFE, NEVER ROLL ANOTHER NUMBER AGAIN.
ABANDON THREADYou fail to abandon the thread, because the thread whispers to you that there are hidden Flopsy-related easter eggs here. Whatever that means.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Secede to myself. Become Myself-ocratic.That's not what secede means.
Try not to escape.You fail to not escape from Grizzly's hungry wolf. You are now in the Mafia Dimension having your soul ripped out.
Identify a proper word to become Myself-ocratic, as myself wishes.You can't think of one.
let should be eaten while not trying to escape. Again.You fail to trick the GM into letting you have nice things. The GM reminds you that you're being committed to eternal damnation here.
This is getting a little bit irritating now.What do you expect? You're not supposed to be able to do anything requiring a roll with the dice curse. If you wanted to do something about it, you'd have to talk to my manager.
Become GM.(5) You become the GM before I can even roll Zanzet's action. My manager, Michael Bay, hires you and fires me. Congratulations!
"Flopsy, do you understand me?"(4) "Not right now, no. Maybe in a bit."
Leave mafia dimension back to earth. As I am not in hell anyway.(2) You stay where you are, but you got a gun to shoot stuff with. Pretty cool, amiright?
indeed. Now, take over mafia dimension then return to earth.(5) You return to Earth!
Backhand the GM before he can try anything.
become leader of UK.
Be Charlie Manson.
Break of and create Europe.
Reject invasion of hell, instead destroy hell via super weapon from next reality over.Equally awesome, ASSIST ACTION.
Escape Hell via cannon.
If it works, I'm free!
If it doesn't, I'm in hellhell, where I can talk to the manager!
Bleed to death.
escape from jail them become leader of Earth.
(2) (3) Darth Washington shoots one of his eldritch tentacles in the face with the cannon!Reject invasion of hell, instead destroy hell via super weapon from next reality over.Equally awesome, ASSIST ACTION.
Get Davesprite upgrade
Request asylum from Yakuza Dimension.
Get 'Rouge of the Void' upgradeRouge
http://www.thebeautylookbook.com/2013/06/chanel-fall-2013-rouge-coco-shine-and.html (http://It's an important distinction)Get 'Rouge of the Void' upgradeRouge
Fire the Great Cannon of Hell killing again. At the actual target this time. I.E. Hell.If it works, give minion a raise.
:>(Get 'Rouge of the Void' upgradeRouge
The former GM offers to cover the new GM's shift.
Arise gloriously out of the ether(4) You encounter an interdimensional demon and are punted out of the ether.
I suppose it worked?Fire the Great Cannon of Hell killing again. At the actual target this time. I.E. Hell.If it works, give minion a raise.
Fire the Great Cannon of Hell killing again. At the actual target this time. I.E. Hell.(4) You forgot your map to hell, so you just fire it at the ground instead, creating a huge crater.
Spawn as Rasputinator MK2000(4) You spawn in as Rasputin!
Get 'Rogue of the Void' upgrade(1) You get the Rogue Void upgrade. This upgrade causes you to be swallowed by a rogue void that won't let you go. From your place in the void you are completely impervious. You see a guy with a pickaxe falling nearby. Then some sort of accountant appears. Better hope he isn't the IRS!
Stop people from destroying Hell. I apparently like it here.(4) You steal the Imperial map, so they'll get lost! You have one Map to Hell.
Become leader of Earth. The planet that is. And all the nations.(5) You become leader of reality. The Spacetime Parliament inform you that the Galactic Empire are trying to destroy hell, which will result inevitably in all those dead people flooding into the universe and raising the crime rates. You want to run for another term, right?
Reveal Yakuza Dimension's location to Mafia Dimension. Watch the war and escape to the Safe and Sane Dimension while no one is looking.(4) You engage the war, then escape to the one safe place in this entire game.
Shout down to the demons that they can travel through the path I left, if they want.(1) The demons seem to be angered by your yelling. Your Metagame Knowledge Readout informs you that their tribal demon laws make any form of verbal communication a capital offense known colloquially as Silence Murder. You ponder the ramifications of this as they begin to hurl flaming javelins at you.
Send in 23rd and 25th galactic armadas to deal with empire. Also send Explorarion ships to find the Star Wars universe. Also make contact with Earth.Destroy these with my Washington Beams.
Get 'Lord of Space' upgrade.(2) Sorry, you can only shamelessly reference things in the canon. You begin falling.
Attempt to summon some sort of hover-board big enough for all of us.(1) I'd really rather not go into the details of what happened. You arrive in hell, and you now have space mono.
(3) You spend too much time resisting the urge to destroy your own ships to have time for the other stuff.Send in 23rd and 25th galactic armadas to deal with empire. Also send Explorarion ships to find the Star Wars universe. Also make contact with Earth.Destroy these with my Washington Beams.
Pull up Google Maps. Get directions to Hell.
Fire superweapon at Hell.
Start revolution in the SpaceTime Parliament(1) You are deported by the Reality Government. You cease to exist!
Hold silence hostage.(5) The silence doesn't want any trouble. You escort it out of hell, then steal its wallet.
Find Hell Toke. Relax(3) You're in Caribou Hell!
Send in 23rd and 25th galactic armadas to deal with empire. Also send Explorarion ships to find the Star Wars universe. Also make contact with Earth.(2) You mean the Galactic Empire's armadas? Hmmm... They don't seem to obey your orders. You have been taken space prisoner!
learn the secrets of life and death.
Fool! You have awoken the sleeping spirits of Roll to Washington! The game restarts!learn the secrets of life and death.
Autosucsess: In your research, you find that this game is dead.
learn the secrets of life and death.Wonder how people find these dead games. Also why.
Become wizard of light. Slay the necromancer with a divine spear.learn the secrets of life and death.Wonder how people find these dead games. Also why.
Become wizard of light. Slay the necromancer with a divine spear.[/b]
(I've got my happy ending, won't jeopardize it with further actions.)
Own the mall.(3) You set up a nice lemonade stand on the mall.
Pull Excalibur out of the White House, thus crowning me as King President of the United States.(4) You take a walk towards the White House, and the lady of the reflecting pool tosses you the legendary Sword Bureaucracy, cutter of red tape, wielder of the governmental contract, which George Washington was said to wield. And yes, it is a lightsaber.
Own the(6) You annex EVERYTHING to the Republic of Kuken. Every creature in existence seems angered by your presumptiveness.mallnationplanetgalaxygalactic clusteruniversemultiverseOMNIVERSE.
JUMP OUT OFF NOWHERE, SUMMON SCYTHER HORDS, OR WAS IT SWARMS? I DONT KNOW. CONQURE NATION WITH SCYTHERS.(1) You jump out of nowhere and begin trying to summon hordes of demons to smite your foes. The FBI suspects you to be a Commie Traitor, and ship you off to Guantanamo Bay. Meanwhile, far away in Canada, the inhabitants are disturbed by a mental summons...
Steal Excalibur. Turn it into Elephantcalibur. Rule Hell.(1) You steal Excalibur and impale yourself with it. You become an Elephantcalibur Shishkabob. Welcome to Hell, and enjoy your stay!
*high-fives Remuthra for knowledge of Arthurian lore*Pull Excalibur out of the White House, thus crowning me as King President of the United States.(4) You take a walk towards the White House, and the lady of the reflecting pool tosses you the legendary Sword Bureaucracy, cutter of red tape, wielder of the governmental contract, which George Washington was said to wield. And yes, it is a lightsaber.
Time to slash Nazi communist terrorist Vietcong, for America!
Time to slash Nazi communist terrorist Vietcong, for America!Type extensive report explaining all the problems with this. Also:
*high-fives Remuthra for knowledge of Arthurian lore*Pull Excalibur out of the White House, thus crowning me as King President of the United States.(4) You take a walk towards the White House, and the lady of the reflecting pool tosses you the legendary Sword Bureaucracy, cutter of red tape, wielder of the governmental contract, which George Washington was said to wield. And yes, it is a lightsaber.
Be a Senator.
Hire TF2 characters to kill Zanzetkuken(4) You hire TF1 characters to kill him. The newer models were out of stock.
Institute Omniversal Paranoia Protocals upon everyone except for me and the computers.(3) You institute Paranoia Protocols on yourself. You are now somewhat more insane, but almost impossible to find.
Steal Demoncalibur from hell. Use it to conjure Hellaphants.Hey, remember the Dice Curse? It's back! Also you've been kicked out of Hell.
(4) You become a third-party senator.*high-fives Remuthra for knowledge of Arthurian lore*Pull Excalibur out of the White House, thus crowning me as King President of the United States.(4) You take a walk towards the White House, and the lady of the reflecting pool tosses you the legendary Sword Bureaucracy, cutter of red tape, wielder of the governmental contract, which George Washington was said to wield. And yes, it is a lightsaber.
Be a Senator.
Time to slash Nazi communist terrorist Vietcong, for America!(6) You institute a reign of terror. You are now at war with all other countries!
Also, arrest any sympathsizers in America, which now includes GWG.
(5) You do so. In response, all nations would declare war with you, but you're already at war with EVERYTHING.Time to slash Nazi communist terrorist Vietcong, for America!
Addition to my prior action:
Hire this man as Minister ofPropagandaPublic Relations.
(2) The FBI arrest you for two counts of free speech and one count of telling it like it is. You are taken to Guantanamo Bay for questioning about your terrorist nature.Time to slash Nazi communist terrorist Vietcong, for America!Type extensive report explaining all the problems with this. Also:
Become king of Not-Hell.You are kicked in the face by a mime.
Use charisma to become leader of Guantanamo Inmates, initiate rebellion.(1) You offend the local gang leaders with your presumptiveness. Before anything can happen, though, you are taken away for questioning. Electrotherapy is more fun when it's combined with water torture!
Mind Control in my favor on all NPC's.(4) You mind control George Bush and the entirety of Congress.
FLEE TO ITALY, SUMMON SCYTHER SWARM, REFOUND ROMAN EMPIRE(5) You flee to your secret base in the Alps, from whence you send out a psychic rallying cry.
Engage Zanzetkuken in rap battle.(6) You challenge Zanzetkuken to a Celestial Rock-off. Both of you are transported to the Astral Plane and given +5 Electric Guitars of Riffing and +2 Pants of Grooving. Let the ultimate battle begin.
Climb out of hell.You're not in Hell.
Climb out of not-Hell.Climb out of hell.You're not in Hell.
As a side note, I'm using real dice now!
Play every rock song ever made at once.(15+5) Cthulu is impressed, and wishes to make you a recording deal. Your Reputation increases!
You hit your head on a low-hanging street sign and are knocked unconscious. ((You can't succeed at anything until you get rid of the Dice Curse.))Climb out of not-Hell.Climb out of hell.You're not in Hell.
As a side note, I'm using real dice now!
Fail to remove curse.Play every rock song ever made at once.(15+5) Cthulu is impressed, and wishes to make you a recording deal. Your Reputation increases!
BATTLEOFFREPUTATIONOMETER:
<==============================================================================================================================================================>You hit your head on a low-hanging street sign and are knocked unconscious. ((You can't succeed at anything until you get rid of the Dice Curse.))Climb out of not-Hell.Climb out of hell.You're not in Hell.
As a side note, I'm using real dice now!
We're not taking this game very seriously, are we?(4) You become a third-party senator.*high-fives Remuthra for knowledge of Arthurian lore*Pull Excalibur out of the White House, thus crowning me as King President of the United States.(4) You take a walk towards the White House, and the lady of the reflecting pool tosses you the legendary Sword Bureaucracy, cutter of red tape, wielder of the governmental contract, which George Washington was said to wield. And yes, it is a lightsaber.
Be a Senator.
...Um.(2) The FBI arrest you for two counts of free speech and one count of telling it like it is. You are taken to Guantanamo Bay for questioning about your terrorist nature.Time to slash Nazi communist terrorist Vietcong, for America!Type extensive report explaining all the problems with this. Also:
(5) You flee to your secret base in the Alps, from whence you send out a psychic rallying cry.Why? I'm nowhere near Europe, they'll probably drown on the way, and if not they'll have to get through the Swiss military first.
Far away in Canada, your call is answered.
The Radioactive Mutant Caribou Grim Reapers are coming. Be afraid.
Use electroshock to gain electrical superpowers. Subsequently take over Guantanamo....Why not.
Have you seen the original reason for creating this game? It was never meant to be more than a distraction.We're not taking this game very seriously, are we?(4) You become a third-party senator.*high-fives Remuthra for knowledge of Arthurian lore*Pull Excalibur out of the White House, thus crowning me as King President of the United States.(4) You take a walk towards the White House, and the lady of the reflecting pool tosses you the legendary Sword Bureaucracy, cutter of red tape, wielder of the governmental contract, which George Washington was said to wield. And yes, it is a lightsaber.
Be a Senator.
You expected the continued protection of your First Amendment rights after 9/11? What gave you that idea?Quote...Um.(2) The FBI arrest you for two counts of free speech and one count of telling it like it is. You are taken to Guantanamo Bay for questioning about your terrorist nature.Time to slash Nazi communist terrorist Vietcong, for America!Type extensive report explaining all the problems with this. Also:
...That action has nothing to do with you.(5) You flee to your secret base in the Alps, from whence you send out a psychic rallying cry.Why? I'm nowhere near Europe, they'll probably drown on the way, and if not they'll have to get through the Swiss military first.
Far away in Canada, your call is answered.
The Radioactive Mutant Caribou Grim Reapers are coming. Be afraid.
So? Why should anyone be afraid? Pretty much everyone except that one guy is in the New World. And they still have to cross an ocean, a mountain range, and the Swiss before getting there....That action has nothing to do with you.(5) You flee to your secret base in the Alps, from whence you send out a psychic rallying cry.Why? I'm nowhere near Europe, they'll probably drown on the way, and if not they'll have to get through the Swiss military first.
Far away in Canada, your call is answered.
The Radioactive Mutant Caribou Grim Reapers are coming. Be afraid.
Yes. And Canada is directly north of you. Not across an ocean, a series of mountains, and the Swiss.So? Why should anyone be afraid? Pretty much everyone except that one guy is in the New World. And they still have to cross an ocean, a mountain range, and the Swiss before getting there....That action has nothing to do with you.(5) You flee to your secret base in the Alps, from whence you send out a psychic rallying cry.Why? I'm nowhere near Europe, they'll probably drown on the way, and if not they'll have to get through the Swiss military first.
Far away in Canada, your call is answered.
The Radioactive Mutant Caribou Grim Reapers are coming. Be afraid.
Um...the Alps are in Europe.And the Caribou are in Canada. The Caribou are coming to kill you, not the guy in the Alps.
From the original post, it sure sounded like the caribou were going to the guy calling them, who was in the Alps.He just foolishly disturbed them. Not even a five can control the mighty CARIBOU.