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Author Topic: FailCannon: No Rest for the Wicked (or anyone else) (Succession: Battlefailed 2)  (Read 897160 times)

barconis

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #165 on: September 17, 2010, 11:59:46 am »

In all fairness, my introduction to rar files was on this forum.

Same here, I think. Anything other than .[t]gz and .zip is fairly exotic to me. WinZip opens pretty much everything though, so it's not something I worry about.

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SethCreiyd

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #166 on: September 17, 2010, 03:11:53 pm »

It took only seconds.

It began as a small ripple flowing out across the spacetime continuum, cleaving and doubling itself for every quantum mass it came upon, forking out for every bit of matter.  In an instant, there were hundreds; in a few seconds, trillions.  They were not so much ripples, by then, as they were a conglomerate wave of the myriad edges of Reality As It Was Known.

It reared about and towered over Aluonra, spreading into the sky like an invisible cancer.  On the other side, things that resembled faces were taking shape:  Hundreds strong, the parts of many beasts set in chimeric arrangement, howling madly beneath their astral veil.  A plume of gray fire spat forth, and rising out of the ground where it struck came a titanic pillar of complete and utter blackness that blotted the sun from the sky.  Its passing drew the earth beneath into the vacuum left behind.

It is said that approximately 1/100th of the multiverse's population is comprised of beings with the ken of magic.  This includes wizards, warlocks, witches, sorcerers, psions, priests, gods, faeries, the enlightened, and the insane.  They all looked into their respective skies, and in a rare moment of cross-dimensional unity, they each gasped as one.

It took only seconds.  The wave crashed.

Across the infinite times, massive tracts of land were ripped out of their planets and inverted, the soil tilling itself with geometric precision.  Buildings were reduced to rubble.  People of any age or race were thrown out into space as gravity worked out which way it should push.

In a forest at the edges of Graspedseduce, a dwarf clad only in deerskin and leather was tossed in the air to land in the lower branches of a tree.  He yelled out a profanity as a current of wind whipped up from beneath and uprooted many of the smaller trees around.  They circled around for a few moments before coming to rolling stop on the ground.

The devastation ran deep, though some places were spared the onslaught.  Failcannon was once such place.  Something about dwarves and their particular single-mindedness maintained a coherent sphere of existence around them.  Their knowledge of the outside would come from those who dared to make the journey and tell them.

Lur blinked, trying to get the dust out of his watering eye.  He clambered down the tree that somehow still stood, snagging the thong of his sandal on a jagged twig during descent.  He fell with a start and hit the ground hard.  Gritting his teeth as he stood, the dwarf picked up a pointed stick and used it to fish down his footwear.

"Marvelous," Lur muttered through dirt-speckled lips as he slipped the rogue sandal back on his foot.  The cosmos were still ticking, but they were starting to shiver with fever.  "Rotten bastards!"  He yelled at the sky, fuming.  The entire situation was entirely unfair.  Existence was having a fatal case of the hiccups while he was stuck here in this meat body.  It sickened him.

Yet he had the knowledge, a timeless trove, trapped in the recesses of his primate brain.  It told him there was only one person who could help, who was within traveling distance and would actually believe he was who he was.

Lur sighed, took a long look at the upturned land all around him, and set out to the west, to Failcannon.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #167 on: September 18, 2010, 07:54:38 pm »

I PM'd Lucus Casius. If he doesn't respond in ~12 hours, we'll skip him.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2010, 08:21:16 pm by Urist Imiknorris »
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Lucus Casius

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #168 on: September 18, 2010, 08:02:55 pm »

Soon, soon.
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Lucus Casius

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #169 on: September 18, 2010, 09:02:22 pm »

From the Journal of Lucus Casius, Chief Medical Dwarf

Today, as I was resting in bed, that fool Lupusater approached me with a well-crafted stone tablet.  The thing appeared ancient, with many names written near the top, and at the bottom, a crude image of dwarves toiling away in some forgotten pit.  Much like this one would become, no doubt.

He handed me the tablet, and, laughing madly, ordered me to sign it with my right hand.  I was perfectly prepared to batter him to death with what remained, but I held back.  Mostly because I knew that I would soon find a better way to deal with him.  Possibly something involving a forgotten beast, long hidden beneath the world.

That thought cheered me greatly, and I chiseled my name into the tablet with the sharp rock I keep for just such purposes.  Then, with another insane laugh, he told me that I was now the Overseer of this hellish place!  It was now my job to deal with the rest of these idiots and keep them from getting us all killed!

Why, it would take some kind of miracle worker just to get through another year of this!


Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I SWEAR TO WHATEVER DARK GOD MAY LISTEN THAT YOU WILL PAY, LUPUSATER!

But for now, it looks like I have no choice but to assume my duties as Overseer of this miserable heap of rock on the shore of a demon-cursed ocean.

First things first, I had to flaunt my power as had others before me.  I ordered the mining out of new rooms which would be my personal quarters.


Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's a fair start.

Oh, and some excellent news, not long after beginning construction!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A true prodigy, making such a marvellous scepter!  Once he reaches adulthood, who can tell what wonders he will make?

I'm taking that scepter, by the way.  Even if I have no idea how I'm going to carry both it and my child at the same time without my right hand.  Stupid kid.  Stupid Kobolds.

...

In a fit of nostalgia for my lost extremity, I have ordered another construction.  A tower, which, when fully built, will have roughly the same proportions of my glorious right arm, hand included.


Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It will take some time, but I am confident that, if I suspend all of the other actives, we can accomplish it before the end of the year.

***

Only a very, very short amount of time has passed in game, but I figured I've delayed long enough.

Also, I need to resize my images from now on.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #170 on: September 18, 2010, 09:05:44 pm »

Funny, he made a scepter when I was testing the save too...

(mostly I was flooding the caverns from the dining room aquifer- you may want to seal those off)
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

cappstv

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #171 on: September 19, 2010, 01:12:34 am »

There is a lot of Wahwah in that ocean.

Also, have I been dwarfed yet? If not, can you please do that. It makes me feel dirty if I dwarf myself.
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The French were adept of the "Losing is Fun" philosophy long before Dwarf Fortress.

SethCreiyd

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #172 on: September 19, 2010, 01:35:49 am »

May I get dwarfed too? I'd like the Woodcutter, if possible.
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Lupusater

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #173 on: September 19, 2010, 01:56:25 am »

Whoa. I'd better be on my guard. And if you need a FB, there is one in the caverns.
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Mekboy

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #174 on: September 19, 2010, 07:18:54 am »

I do find it funny that the first thing on the minds of pretty much every player is to one-up the previous player's rooms.
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Quote from: CatalystParadox
Aw, Mekboy! A song for meeeee?
You're so sweet.  Why don't you just come in here so I can give you a hug.
... bring my pants.
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You seem to be under the illusion that we give a shit about what happens to dwarves who are too dumb to live.

Zathel

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #175 on: September 19, 2010, 08:18:44 am »

I do find it funny that the first thing on the minds of pretty much every player is to one-up the previous player's rooms.

Actually, nothing bad really happens as a result... now, those overseers who don't use their power to build lavish quarters for themselves are the ones you need to be afraid of... they bring bad luck.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #176 on: September 19, 2010, 08:24:28 am »

Hey! I mined out that magnetite/platinum oceanfrontbottom property. Admittedly I was planning to use it as a noble's room and install a drowning chamber, but details.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

mgrinshpon

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #177 on: September 19, 2010, 11:06:05 pm »

Posting not just to sub, but to ask for a dorfing. Gronchbag, a military dorf. Preferably axe, but I'll be fine with whatever.

Also, this is living up to Battlefailed so far. Absolutely great so far.
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Ilu escaped the underworld, fooled humans into believing incarnation of deity Maga Incestmaze. That diety is associated with depravity, lies, treachery, and trickery.  Made lawgiver.

Lucus Casius

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #178 on: September 20, 2010, 10:20:21 pm »

From the Journal of Lucus Casius, Chief Medical Dwarf Miracle Worker


I had a dream last night.

The stone tablet on which my name was carved lay in the center of my new bedroom.  Outside, the fortress was completely silent, not even the pounding of picks against rock or a late night drinking contest.  I remember being confused by this, as a true fortress, even one like FailCannon, is never quiet.

I recall stumbling to the center of the room, drawn, despite my growing sense of dread, to the tablet.  As I approached, the writing began to glow with a strange, otherworldly light.  I saw terrifying creatures- hideous, eldritch things- twisting before my vision, crying out as they did in fell tongues.

I picked up the tablet, despite the warnings.  The words themselves twisted like the beasts, forming words in a long-forgotten tongue.  I was more frightened by this than I was of the monsters, I think.  Were it only that the language was unreadable, not just forgotten. For I understood the letters as clearly as humans understand the concept of night and day.

I shall not write here what was written within the depths of my unconscious spirit, lest it fill yet another with madness and despair.  If I had not then heard the voice, I would likely even now be trapped in the torment of unwaking nightmares.  As it was, I felt a sudden sensation of calm in the darkness, and, as I turned, a gentle voice spoke.


"Lucus-of-the-Hand, you have seen before you what the future holds, and, by our grace, remain unbroken.  You have been given a chance.  Pave the way for one who can fix the Seal.  This is your duty."

Before I could ask who the voice was, or what the Seal was, or how the hell I was supposed to "pave the way," I awoke.

...I have to get back to work.


Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Work on my room is coming along nicely.  It takes my mind off the dream, at least.

Oh, and the mayor asked me to make crossbows.


Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A perfectly understandable request, really.  Who doesn't like shooting things?  Nobody, that's who...  ...and I feel like they could be useful in the days ahead.

Oh, and more news!  Some migrants have arrived!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A Gem Cutter (Drafted)...  Who promptly planted himself there and did not move.  I stopped paying attention after the first couple of days of him just being there.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Deciding that my workers needed a bit of a break, I told them to have fun for a bit.

Why did I do that?  Hell if I know, but I feel really good about myself now.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I take that back.  I AM IN HORRIBLE HORRIBLE PAIN.
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cappstv

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #179 on: September 20, 2010, 10:28:30 pm »

I bet its first words are going to be wahwah.
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The French were adept of the "Losing is Fun" philosophy long before Dwarf Fortress.
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