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PULL THE LEVER? [Y/N]

Y
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Total Members Voted: 319


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Author Topic: FailCannon: No Rest for the Wicked (or anyone else) (Succession: Battlefailed 2)  (Read 885311 times)

Pisano

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #390 on: December 05, 2010, 09:19:28 am »

Sorry, I wasn't reading this thread.  Must have missed a new post somewhere back there and it stopped emailing me.  I'm heading out of town for a week so you should skip me.  I'd be happy to get tacked on to the end.  Can't wait to see what interesting things this fort has been up to.
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NightmareBros

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #391 on: December 07, 2010, 06:01:35 pm »

Andreus?

... shall we wait till Friday-ish for him before we move on?
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #392 on: December 08, 2010, 09:12:26 am »

Yeah, Friday or skip.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

NightmareBros

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #393 on: December 10, 2010, 09:43:25 am »

Well, in my timezone it is now Friday.
Skip to the next guy?
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #394 on: December 10, 2010, 11:09:30 am »

I get home in about three hours. If he hasn't showed by then, skip. If he does, he gets the weekend to play his turn.

Also, what's the latest Andreus dwarf?

EDIT: whoops, forgot. Forward and onward.
« Last Edit: December 10, 2010, 05:20:38 pm by Urist Imiknorris »
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

SethCreiyd

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #395 on: December 10, 2010, 07:51:55 pm »

I've downloaded and started playing a little bit.  Too bad about Andreus, though.

Update:  We had a migrant wave.  I don't know what to say:


There are many unclaimed dwarves, for those who want one.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2010, 02:11:27 am by SethCreiyd »
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Lucus Casius

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #396 on: December 11, 2010, 10:01:03 am »

Requesting another dwarf, then.

Lucus, the Third Hand!
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Lupusater

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #397 on: December 11, 2010, 10:44:10 am »

If I'm dead, redorf me. Possibly a smith.
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LordSlowpoke

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #398 on: December 11, 2010, 11:11:19 am »

...That means my huge corridor of traps, total reworking of military and work-until-you-die-miserably rhetoric broke the neverending Siege of Battlefailed?

I shoulda be proud right now.
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SethCreiyd

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #399 on: December 11, 2010, 01:28:20 pm »


Journal of Sethrist Cosmopaddles, 12 Granite

All is quiet, for the moment.  The Plains of Ooze have been empty of the undead these last few days.  We had no trouble reaching the gate of Failcannon.


He is here.  I can feel it, no matter what body he's hiding in this time.  After all these years, here he is at last.  He's not going to escape this time.


I've learned a great deal since our last meeting.  If I can manage to surprise him, it will be easy.  But first I had to establish a legal means to the authority necessary to carry out my task.  This fortress lacked a Captain of the Guard, until now.  The baroness had no choice but to acknowledge my case.  Any proper barony requires proper law enforcement.

There is one thing I can thank the sorcerer for.  From him I learned a valuable lesson.


Take what you need.


Things are going to change around here.

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Dariush

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #400 on: December 11, 2010, 01:52:10 pm »

WWWWwwWWwWWWwHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!  >:(
You allowed me to get killed?! You won't get away with this... YOU WON'T.
Oh well, could you please at least redorf me, this time as the best soldier the fortress has? And give him nick... 'Dariush II'. Yes, that sounds suitably epic. Also, suitable burial (with statues, no less!) for my old incarnation. Maybe you'll possess a small chance of getting away with it in this case  ;D

Glacial

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #401 on: December 11, 2010, 08:07:09 pm »

  To Ungègugath then I came

  Burning burning burning burning
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rampaging-poet

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #402 on: December 12, 2010, 05:29:49 am »

I read through Battlefailed, and I've followed this fortress for awhile.  I just thought I'd pop in to say both have been quite entertaining.

SethCreiyd, you said there were a number of unclaimed dwarves.  Could you please dwarf me?  Name of "Poet", no particular preference for gender or occupation.

Also, Groveller, you've been sigged.
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Lame excuse? 'Having a drink instead' is the dwarfiest reason to not get something done, short of accidentally flooding your home with magma. Or intentionally flooding your home with magma.

SethCreiyd

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #403 on: December 13, 2010, 11:00:50 am »

Everybody on the list, and Poet and Dariush II, got dwarfed.

----------

As dangerous as it was, those occasions when it was profitable were so much so that Elven merchants had braved the journey to Failcannon year after year, risking life and limb in the hopes of a lucrative haul.

The danger was never understanded to those who dared such a journey, and it therefore came with little surprise but moderate disappointment for the traders when the dwarves coming out to meet them suddenly raised their weapons and attacked.




The caravan did not survive, but other elves would return the next year.  They always did.

*     *     *

In the shallows south of Failcannon, a pod of whales swam about their lives in perfect obliviousness to the carnage of the lands above.  For them, the Blueness of Malodors was a cozy place with warm currents and plenty of food.  That the water smelled of cat piss never bothered them too much.


The Blueness of Malodors is truly not so bad compared to the sea of filth below.


Where once sat a pure aquifer beneath the Plains of Ooze now lies an ocean of poison, spawning pool of a legion of abominations howling in agony and rage untempered by reason as they putrefy in the mire.

Yet deeper still, there are cries of a different kind - jubilation.


*     *     *

Journal of Sethrist Cosmopaddles, Alchemist

Zathel, leader of the local Miner's Guild, was killed today during a scuffle with one of the soldiers.  Xenos was reprimanded.  We can't be killing off too many valuable personnel.


Specifically, skilled miners.  The truemetal is vitally important to my work.  The natural magnetism of the stone here makes detection of psychic signatures too difficult for me to pinpoint the sorcerer.  In recognition of the advantage this has given me as well, it must be my advantage alone, and these adamantine caverns are the key.


They'll be quarters fit for royalty, but before royalty gets here, I intend to make full use of them.  The military and the gentry can use the ore as they see fit, it is of little interest to me.

The previous mayor was given a funeral befitting a noble of his station.  I later exhumed the corpse to extract all the blood, which was cycled into the bloodstream of a soldier who I am now referring to as 'Dariush II.'  I hope to determine that blood is a working conduit of personality.


That's odd.  I could have sworn I heard something.

Anyway, the discovery of adamantine has lent legitimacy to my bid for power.  The countess is impressed, and although


PROBLEM!


Derm.  I hardly knew him...


...before today.  I must keep an eye on him.


To explain: Derm, a leatherworker of little renown, had been attacked by an enormous blood of flame in a hallway near the second cavern.  This incident is reflective of a massive lapse in security that will take valuable time to deal with.  I'm considering the appointment of a new Captain of the Guard, but it must be someone loyal, someone trustworthy.

Back to where I was.  The countess was impressed, and though I have only been at my post the better part of a month, it was easy to convince her to let me --




What in the name of --




Another monster sighting, this time it's a vicious white lobster.  The soldiers are arming now, and as Captain of the Guard, it falls on me to lead them.

Gods damn it all.


The lobster scrambled down the stairs and happened upon a hapless mason who was finishing up a security bridge in the area.  The fellow was ripped apart in seconds.  Seeing her friend torn to pieces, a nearby swordsdwarf cursed the beast and charged it, only to be killed just as fast.


Down in the old quarry, Derm had been placing food in a stockpile when the beast skittered into the hall, followed by myself and half a dozen armed dwarves.  He was a new addition to the Fortress Guard, and aside from his encounter with the blob of flame, this was his first experience with combat.


Derm steeled himself and approached, spear at the ready.  He waited for the beast to spot him before springing the attack.


A good punch to the head, and the lobster was dead.  At this rate I may need to give Derm a house.

As I was saying:  I had no trouble convincing the Baroness to allow me to place furnishings in the mined vein of adamantine.  My plan draws ever closer to completion.


By the gods, these dwarves are disgusting.  On my way up from the smithy I passed through a hallway doused ceiling-to-floor in vomit.  Someone's going in chains for this.  What kind of jerk just gets sick and leaves it for someone else to...





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Dermonster

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #404 on: December 13, 2010, 11:14:26 am »

Quote from: Seth
Undiluted awesome.

FUCK YEAH!

Screw the odds, I PUNCH CHANCE IN THE FACE AND STEAL HER STUFF!
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I can do anything I want, as long as I accept the consequences.
"Y'know, my favorite thing about being a hero is that it gives you all kinds of narrative justification to just slay any ol' jerk who gets in the way - Black Mage.
"The bulk of [Derm]'s atrocities seem to stem from him doing things that [Magic] doesn't actually do." - TvTropes
"Dammit Derm!" - You, if I'm doing it right.
Moved to SufficientVelocity / Spacebattles.
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