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[Greenstarfanatic]

The Bailiff winces a bit.

I ship Bailiff/Stenographer.

[Digital Hellhound]

((To move this on...))

Despite not being called in, the next witness pushes the courtroom doors open dramatically and marches over to the witness stand.

'I know just who gone and done it, sheriff. I can see the guilt in 'is eyes, yes, ma'am.'

[Ozarck]

-scribble scribble-
"did it ... sheriff"

[BFEL]

((To move this on...))

Despite not being called in, the next witness pushes the courtroom doors open dramatically and marches over to the witness stand.

'I know just who gone and done it, sheriff. I can see the guilt in 'is eyes, yes, ma'am.'

Would you please state your name for the court, sir?

[Digital Hellhound]

'Yes, Your Honor. The name's Archiba... uhh. I mean, err, Smith. John Smith. That's the one.'

[Errol]

"Sigh. Sir Archiba Uhh I Mean Err Smith John Smith? Who invited the surprise witness? Just... go ahead and testify."

[Digital Hellhound]

'Yes, I, uhh,' the witness Smith John Smith says. 'Yes, Your Honor, I saw it with my own two eyes, clear as day. This man here did this thing, this horrible thing, that he is accused of. I'd bet my soul on it, yes, ma'am.'

The witness proceeds to point.... at the prosecution.

[Doomblade187]

'Yes, I, uhh,' the witness Smith John Smith says. 'Yes, Your Honor, I saw it with my own two eyes, clear as day. This man here did this thing, this horrible thing, that he is accused of. I'd bet my soul on it, yes, ma'am.'

The witness proceeds to point.... at the prosecution.

((I think we're all suitably confused now.))

[TCM]

Attorney Shakur sits down, quietly leaning behind his desk to ask one of the nearby members of the courtroom the current score on the Knicks game.

[Ozarck]

-Scribble scribble-
-pause-
-scribble-

[Digital Hellhound]

'Look at the devil now, sitting there, all smug and guilty, and... wait, why are you all staring at me like that? Oh. Oooh. My bad. I meant the defendant... person... thing. Who was that again? Wait, I mean, of course I know. I saw him, didn't I?'

*nervous chuckle*

*cough*

'Ahem, yes. Look at the devil, wherever he is. He's as guilty as... a guilty thing, I tell you.'

[BFEL]

'Look at the devil now, sitting there, all smug and guilty, and... wait, why are you all staring at me like that? Oh. Oooh. My bad. I meant the defendant... person... thing. Who was that again? Wait, I mean, of course I know. I saw him, didn't I?'

*nervous chuckle*

*cough*

'Ahem, yes. Look at the devil, wherever he is. He's as guilty as... a guilty thing, I tell you.'

[4] This is a surprisingly convincing argument. Our jury is retarded.

[Ozarck]

-doodle doodle scribble scratch-

[Errol]

"Uh... bring in the next witness, I guess? Unless our current one has any other arguments. Perhaps the next one makes more sense."

[Digital Hellhound]

'Huh, what? I haven't even done me testimony yet, you bastard. Ahem. When it happened, I was... wait,' the witness says. He takes a moment to look at the writing on the back of his hand.

'Planting flowers, really? This is my worst job so far. A-anyway. I work at the florist's shop in the neighbourhood, and this guy - or is it a gal? - came in to buy some flowers, and totally said something like 'I'm gonna plant the shit out of these flowers, that'll show the bastard'. This shows he or she was doing this grave crime knowingly and with evil intent.'

'Was that... was that it? Do I get my money now?'