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DF Community Games & Stories / Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [Looking for Responsible Moderator to Manage OP and Update!]
« on: August 31, 2018, 08:52:29 pm »
THIS IS A TURN STILL IN PROGRESS! I GOT TOO TIRED YESTERDAY, AND I'M GMing AN RP TODAY, SO I'LL CONTINUE IN THE EVENING.
I'm drunk now, so I might as well do it.
I'm supposed to prepare for an rpg campagin tomorrow, (it's 3:47 right now) Or maybe search for a more stable job, but here I am. drunk.
Smnall confession; I love DF, but when I played it drunk last time I despised it. I had a miserable time all in all. On the other hand I LOVE to read tris thead, and no-one is man enough to play this shit, so I guess I'll have to step up. Long live the drunk fort or whatever.
Will update this post, so be sure to f5 until I have declared it finished.
PS. I REALLY hope youy have foraged our picks, cause I'm sure ass hell in no condition to do anything profuctive. May Armok bleed my soul and flagulate my hemmoroids.
[This is to be my turn, fools]
Game has crashed 2 times now, wihout me even being able to star it. Stay string my dudes.
Pictres are all screen capped. They will come when I feel sober enough to fulfil my duty.
YES! IT WORKS!
So the first thing I see is a faceful of magma and the message that some dwarf is dehydrated. Off to a good start, I say!
[img 1 here]
My plan here was to make some witty comment on the state of the fort, but I load this up, and I don't even. Labors? Like what thw hell man? How am I supposed to?
You know what? We stand out like birf shit on a black shoe. I may not be the brightest at this very moment, but I have a plan! (disckaimer: this is a lie)
So this usually neal organixation of information makes no sense to me right now. I guess that I'll assign labours as they are needed.
[img 2 here]
Casualties of alcohol so foar are a few beers (Mostly Elk brew. I'm a refined man of excuisite tast, and as such only the most refined of bwrhgs are goods enough for me)
I ewstimate 4 beers. (one which I stole before I easlized it wasn't mine. This warrants a death penalty of a new beer to the victim from me.=
maybe 20 cl of morgan, which isnt' very tasty. Why do I keep buying this shit?
And NOPTHING ELSE!
I am a lightweight now. As a youngun I could drink until it squirted out me arse, but now I'm a lowly acolyte to the mysteries of booze once again.
I will now unpause!
Wow. This Shoryuke man has actually finmished our dinind hall! This is good news for all of you and especially for my turn!
On the other hand it's bad for my already fragile ego (even though I'm the best at everything) since this will be a turn when we swithc from the adept...
To the inept.
[img 3, barnaclesucker]
Time to get in character!
Even though my noble house has been in some decline since I've taken over since my father died of the rot (Armok bless his rapidly decomposing body. And his money. His money that was.)
the mountainhomes have blessed me with a golden opportunity! The cheif (We call him urist) said unto me:
"Thou hasth been a source of unfathomable drive and also a true role model for the young dwarves here. I would like to grant you a task of which I deem nodwarf else wothy. You are to guide these misfortunate souls to a better tomorrow. You, and no-one else is capable of this difficult task, for OI see in you leadership and, above all, responsibility!"
The wording may be different from what actually was said, but the gistr was trhere! He told me to go quickly, and only to return once the issues have been resolved. He also told me that those issues would be no match for one such as me. He wished me good luck with a grave expression. This grave expression, I'm sure, means that the mountainhomes surely will suffer from my absence, but that it would be morally wrong not to send me; The exemplar of the mountainhomes!
I have my wagon loadsed with dwarven distillate of plump helmet (50% alc) as well as a load of regal pillows, opf course. I'm drinking in this very mment, diary, as this is just one of the many talents Armok has gifted me. I feel great resolve learning these peasants how to live the regal life.
YES! I'm not one of these nobles who want to grab everything to themselves! I want YOU disgusting peasants to join my ranks as full bloodedunderlings nobles of my house! The less peasants the better, and the more I can convert, the better all around, right? I see you smiling already, diary, but this is no joke. From here on it is caution first AND secont. Bring. It. On.
Oh my!
[img 4 here you homophobic nazi]
The militarry is in quite a disarray!" When I ask the locals they said there used to be a proper squad, but some beast of fairytales swooped down from the dephts (It woul of course, had swooped up in that case, only validating my theory) and killed them all! I nod and "hmm" at all the right times, and the dwarf seemed very pleased. This is of coursew nonsense! A "forgotten beast"? You all seem to remember it quite clearly. This is not only a crime of semantics, but of treason! I must root out the source of these rumors, but first of all I need a new squad of at leas 10 dwarves. How could anyone drink in peace knowing goblins may shoot you at any moment? I assign my first dwarves to smashing. They seem reluctant at first, but I have promised a free pass to my houyse for anyone who survivwes and fights. That means no floundering in the dirt for the rest of your lifetime! Free food, and asI my house dictates: Free drinks whenever you feel like. If they are right, well, they get the satisfaction of being right. If they are wrong, they get to protect me from goblins, and then a life of ease! I say everybody wins!
Aaaaaaand done!
[img 5 you succubus-seeking virginator]
I didn't even Dtherapist. I saw things such as potash maker, and drafted them. If I remember correctly, I made a barracs with mayb e some training tools and maybe some armor stands in it. OI also remember making a ton of silver hammers, but I'm drunbk as shit, and I WAS drunk as shit last time, so bear with me. *RAAARGH* (That's th bear.......... sorry....)
[img 6 here, you redheadlustingfor goodfornothing weakbodied shitfuck]
nonononononoNONONONO
Are these the rooms in which they sleep?
I mean.
Are THESE the roo...
Fucking Very rustic. I have some grand plans in tis direction. If you want to live the noble life, this won't do! This is actually horrible! My room at home is at par with their... ehm... "mneeting hall..." I suspected they might live under lower standards, but this is actually making me feel sorry for them. FOR REASL. Man the pics and dig the shit outta that!
What do you mean I ripped it from the wiki? What is a wiki even?
[img 7, yopu lovable, actually quite okay humanoid]
SHORYUKR you absolute legend! I havew picks! I cna min!
I'm very sorry, but... fell asleef while taking a piss. Time is now 06:06. I dindn't ea5t anything today (financial problems, but somehow I mangaed to buy beer?) The fact of the matte ris tha I'll have to continue tomorrow. Sorry again.
I'm drunk now, so I might as well do it.
I'm supposed to prepare for an rpg campagin tomorrow, (it's 3:47 right now) Or maybe search for a more stable job, but here I am. drunk.
Smnall confession; I love DF, but when I played it drunk last time I despised it. I had a miserable time all in all. On the other hand I LOVE to read tris thead, and no-one is man enough to play this shit, so I guess I'll have to step up. Long live the drunk fort or whatever.
Will update this post, so be sure to f5 until I have declared it finished.
PS. I REALLY hope youy have foraged our picks, cause I'm sure ass hell in no condition to do anything profuctive. May Armok bleed my soul and flagulate my hemmoroids.
[This is to be my turn, fools]
Pictres are all screen capped. They will come when I feel sober enough to fulfil my duty.
YES! IT WORKS!
So the first thing I see is a faceful of magma and the message that some dwarf is dehydrated. Off to a good start, I say!
[img 1 here]
My plan here was to make some witty comment on the state of the fort, but I load this up, and I don't even. Labors? Like what thw hell man? How am I supposed to?
You know what? We stand out like birf shit on a black shoe. I may not be the brightest at this very moment, but I have a plan! (disckaimer: this is a lie)
So this usually neal organixation of information makes no sense to me right now. I guess that I'll assign labours as they are needed.
[img 2 here]
Casualties of alcohol so foar are a few beers (Mostly Elk brew. I'm a refined man of excuisite tast, and as such only the most refined of bwrhgs are goods enough for me)
I ewstimate 4 beers. (one which I stole before I easlized it wasn't mine. This warrants a death penalty of a new beer to the victim from me.=
maybe 20 cl of morgan, which isnt' very tasty. Why do I keep buying this shit?
And NOPTHING ELSE!
I am a lightweight now. As a youngun I could drink until it squirted out me arse, but now I'm a lowly acolyte to the mysteries of booze once again.
I will now unpause!
Wow. This Shoryuke man has actually finmished our dinind hall! This is good news for all of you and especially for my turn!
On the other hand it's bad for my already fragile ego (even though I'm the best at everything) since this will be a turn when we swithc from the adept...
To the inept.
[img 3, barnaclesucker]
Time to get in character!
Even though my noble house has been in some decline since I've taken over since my father died of the rot (Armok bless his rapidly decomposing body. And his money. His money that was.)
the mountainhomes have blessed me with a golden opportunity! The cheif (We call him urist) said unto me:
"Thou hasth been a source of unfathomable drive and also a true role model for the young dwarves here. I would like to grant you a task of which I deem nodwarf else wothy. You are to guide these misfortunate souls to a better tomorrow. You, and no-one else is capable of this difficult task, for OI see in you leadership and, above all, responsibility!"
The wording may be different from what actually was said, but the gistr was trhere! He told me to go quickly, and only to return once the issues have been resolved. He also told me that those issues would be no match for one such as me. He wished me good luck with a grave expression. This grave expression, I'm sure, means that the mountainhomes surely will suffer from my absence, but that it would be morally wrong not to send me; The exemplar of the mountainhomes!
I have my wagon loadsed with dwarven distillate of plump helmet (50% alc) as well as a load of regal pillows, opf course. I'm drinking in this very mment, diary, as this is just one of the many talents Armok has gifted me. I feel great resolve learning these peasants how to live the regal life.
YES! I'm not one of these nobles who want to grab everything to themselves! I want YOU disgusting peasants to join my ranks as full blooded
Oh my!
[img 4 here you homophobic nazi]
The militarry is in quite a disarray!" When I ask the locals they said there used to be a proper squad, but some beast of fairytales swooped down from the dephts (It woul of course, had swooped up in that case, only validating my theory) and killed them all! I nod and "hmm" at all the right times, and the dwarf seemed very pleased. This is of coursew nonsense! A "forgotten beast"? You all seem to remember it quite clearly. This is not only a crime of semantics, but of treason! I must root out the source of these rumors, but first of all I need a new squad of at leas 10 dwarves. How could anyone drink in peace knowing goblins may shoot you at any moment? I assign my first dwarves to smashing. They seem reluctant at first, but I have promised a free pass to my houyse for anyone who survivwes and fights. That means no floundering in the dirt for the rest of your lifetime! Free food, and as
Aaaaaaand done!
[img 5 you succubus-seeking virginator]
I didn't even Dtherapist. I saw things such as potash maker, and drafted them. If I remember correctly, I made a barracs with mayb e some training tools and maybe some armor stands in it. OI also remember making a ton of silver hammers, but I'm drunbk as shit, and I WAS drunk as shit last time, so bear with me. *RAAARGH* (That's th bear.......... sorry....)
[img 6 here, you redheadlustingfor goodfornothing weakbodied shitfuck]
nonononononoNONONONO
Are these the rooms in which they sleep?
I mean.
Are THESE the roo...
What do you mean I ripped it from the wiki? What is a wiki even?
[img 7, yopu lovable, actually quite okay humanoid]
SHORYUKR you absolute legend! I havew picks! I cna min!
I'm very sorry, but... fell asleef while taking a piss. Time is now 06:06. I dindn't ea5t anything today (financial problems, but somehow I mangaed to buy beer?) The fact of the matte ris tha I'll have to continue tomorrow. Sorry again.