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Finally... => General Discussion => Topic started by: Aqizzar on July 23, 2010, 04:12:19 am

Title: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to - The Idiocy Strikes Back
Post by: Aqizzar on July 23, 2010, 04:12:19 am
(http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2010/07/23/alg_vader_bank.jpg)

Darth Vader robs a bank in Long Island. (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2010/07/22/2010-07-22_empire_strikes_bank_thats_no_lightsaber_vaders_carrying_in_li_stickup.html)  Using a real gun, and real camo pants.  What a douche.

Not a whole to add to this one, but I figured everyone would find it funny.  Do note that, pending a further manhunt, he got away with it.

Updoot. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=62196.msg1570449#msg1570449)  As far as pattern crimes go, people robbing places while dressed as a Sith Lord is pretty awesome.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Realmfighter on July 23, 2010, 04:16:53 am
God knows that sooner or later he's going to do this again.

And when he does, all the superheroes from New York will kick his ass.

Or get shot, but whatever.

*EDIT*I am surprised to find no super heroes currently supering in New York. Damn you humanity!
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Azzuro on July 23, 2010, 04:20:14 am
He probably needs funds to build a new Death Star.

Then he'll rob the Earth.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: ToonyMan on July 23, 2010, 04:27:17 am
It's a really good disguise.

Okay you were probably expecting a joke, alright.
Ahem.

Why the fuck isn't he using the force
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on July 23, 2010, 04:59:12 am
He should have used a damn lightsaber. What kind of extreme criminal LARPer is this guy?! If you must have a weapon, then just rig the thing up with a car battery.

He could have at least tried to choke one of the tellers.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: scriver on July 23, 2010, 05:27:56 am
*EDIT*I am surprised to find no super heroes currently supering in New York. Damn you humanity!
I blame Obama's deficient handling of the recession.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Creamcorn on July 23, 2010, 08:39:57 am
I wonder what was going through his head prior to the robbing? "HMMmm Ski mask or Darth Vader suit?"
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: smjjames on July 23, 2010, 09:40:42 am
He probably gets a point for creativity, bonus if theres a voice syntheszer in there that disguises his voice.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: CrossBolt on July 23, 2010, 11:14:31 am
Epic guy cowering is epic.

BNut honestly, there is nothing more awesome than darth vader robbing a bank.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: CJ1145 on July 23, 2010, 11:28:39 am
The only way this could have been more epic is if Vader took hostages, and agreed with the police to release them if he got a helicopter, only to take the hostages with them. As he flew off, he'd shout back "I have altered the deal, pray I do not alter it further."

At least, that's what I would do.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Cthulhu on July 23, 2010, 11:28:58 am
Apparently the guy cowering was messing around, thinking it was a joke.  I like to think the robber said "Your lack of faith disturbs me" right before he threw him to the ground.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Jreengus on July 23, 2010, 12:03:36 pm
Hmm all this just a a couple of weeks after arresting an innocent princess on the subway system. (http://improveverywhere.com/2010/07/14/star-wars-subway-car/)

The imperial senate will not stand for this.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: CJ1145 on July 23, 2010, 12:48:39 pm
*Hand wave* I shall remove the Senate.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Aqizzar on July 23, 2010, 12:50:10 pm
Hmm al this just a a couple of weeks after arresting an innocent princess on the subway system. (http://improveverywhere.com/2010/07/14/star-wars-subway-car/)

The imperial senate will not stand for this.

I have just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the Senate.  The last vestiges of the old order have been swept away.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Jreengus on July 23, 2010, 01:22:42 pm
That's impossible! How will the Emperor maintain control without the bureaucracy?
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: PTTG?? on July 23, 2010, 01:36:58 pm
Leashes.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Aqizzar on July 23, 2010, 02:18:56 pm
That's impossible! How will the Emperor maintain control without the bureaucracy?

Fear.  Fear will keep the local systems in line.  Fear of this... uh... this... thing we have here...  And of course, our mighty flag.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Nikov on July 23, 2010, 08:17:33 pm
For a moment, I thought it was stupid. Then my wife mentioned it was in the middle of Comicon, then I thought it was the perfect crime. Now I realize he was wearing camo pants and not a full costume and didn't rob a bank during the middle of Comicon, and realize HE IS PANTS ON SPECIAL NEEDS MOTHER SON OF A RETARD.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Retro on July 23, 2010, 11:23:57 pm
(hours earlier)

"But my lord, where are we going to get the capital for a new Death Star?"
"I don't know, Vader! You're the child prodigy, think of something!"
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Jackrabbit on July 24, 2010, 05:18:33 am
Man, it's depressing that the economic situation is so bad that either:

a) the guy couldn't afford a balaclava.
b) Vader had to pawn most of his uniform.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: ToonyMan on July 24, 2010, 05:21:38 am
If I was Vader I would have just went for the unemployment checks.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Sergius on July 25, 2010, 04:10:23 am
He obviously had to sell his pants, but he couldn't sell his mask or chestplate. You know, because of the life support that keeps him alive after the lava got him.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: ToonyMan on July 25, 2010, 04:23:20 am
I think he needs the leg parts because he doesn't actually have legs anymore.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Jackrabbit on July 25, 2010, 06:11:38 am
Yeah, but he doesn't need the kickin' black armor that covers them. Pants'd do the trick. They appear to have here.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Retro on July 25, 2010, 06:14:16 am
Even the Empire had casual fridays. They weren't monsters you know.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: smigenboger on July 26, 2010, 10:47:27 am
Even the Empire had casual fridays. They weren't monsters you know.
How bad was imperial rule, anyway? Some of those planets were akin to slavery, which may have been abolished with a universal order.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on July 26, 2010, 11:01:42 am
Even the Empire had casual fridays. They weren't monsters you know.
How bad was imperial rule, anyway? Some of those planets were akin to slavery, which may have been abolished with a universal order.
See, I never saw anything that bad about The Empire. Sure, Vader and Sidious were evil on a personal level, but the only imperial-sponsored atrocity was using the Death Star on innocent planets. That's pretty big on the evil scale, but it was a single act.

And now The Old Republic's Sith Empire already looks sympathetic at worst.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Aqizzar on July 26, 2010, 11:06:19 am
Even the Empire had casual fridays. They weren't monsters you know.
How bad was imperial rule, anyway? Some of those planets were akin to slavery, which may have been abolished with a universal order.

The Empire got such a bad rap.  Tht little bitch let her criminal scum lackeys set the galaxy aflame just so she could have her crown back. (http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/001/248ipzbt.asp?pg=1)
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on July 26, 2010, 11:26:34 am
Even the Empire had casual fridays. They weren't monsters you know.
How bad was imperial rule, anyway? Some of those planets were akin to slavery, which may have been abolished with a universal order.

The Empire got such a bad rap.  Tht little bitch let her criminal scum lackeys set the galaxy aflame just so she could have her crown back. (http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/001/248ipzbt.asp?pg=1)

Obligitory webcomic commentary. (http://www.rhjunior.com/GH/00249.html)

EDIT: Wow, otherwise that site sucks. What strange links I find on Alternate Character Interpretation.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Medicine Man on July 27, 2010, 02:37:00 am
Now all we need is Yoda in the S.W.A.T
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Lord Dakoth on July 27, 2010, 03:40:08 am
Okay, so if the Senate is the UN and the Trade Federation is OPEC... that must mean that Geonosis is Iraq, Dooku is Bin Laden, and Mace Windu is Barack Obama.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on July 27, 2010, 03:54:24 am
Well, it doesn't quite fit as an analogy. The Senate would be the UN if the UN invaded any nation that didn't want to join the UN, while creating political bureaucracy for nations that are a part of it. I'd call them the Terrified Nations

Geonosis would be a nation that didn't want to be part of the Terrified Nations, and Dooku would be more akin to an arms dealer facilitating their independence for his own profit in the resulting war. Mace Windu would be a Terrified Nations spy, or somthing.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: RedKing on July 27, 2010, 06:25:19 am
"I sense something, a presence I've not felt since....SHIT, you pressed the silent alarm, didn't you?!"
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Puck on July 31, 2010, 06:41:25 am
When the police tried to identify him from the surveillance tapes, legend has it that the chief said

"I find this lack of face disturbing."

True story.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Josephus on July 31, 2010, 06:53:22 am
Okay, so if the Senate is the UN and the Trade Federation is OPEC... that must mean that Geonosis is Iraq, Dooku is Bin Laden, and Mace Windu is Barack Obama.

No, technically Mace Windu is Bush. Gung-ho and very aggressive.

Obama is, I dunno, Kit Fisto! Because they both have goddamn great smiles.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: smigenboger on July 31, 2010, 12:56:46 pm
I'm slowly watching through the series, and I still don't see the Empire as evil as it's meant to be. Robots are more humane as soldiers (ironically) as they don't forfeit life on that side of the battlefield. Both sides have ample power for themselves, so uniting the world in a Monarchy would be for the interest of the people, and not for power. If Democracy were successful, it wouldn't have gotten to this point in the first place. Perhaps there needs to be a cycle of power like this every once in a while to prevent stagnation.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Grakelin on July 31, 2010, 05:16:21 pm
The Empire is also strongly inspired by the Third Reich, and they do things like opress minority groups (the aliens), take slaves, and take from the poor.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on July 31, 2010, 05:20:23 pm
Says you, Jedi. Don't you have some gifted children to be kidnapping and conscripting?
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Jackrabbit on July 31, 2010, 05:21:50 pm
The Empire is also strongly inspired by the Third Reich, and they do things like opress minority groups (the aliens), take slaves, and take from the poor.

You mean in the movies? I've only ever watched the movies and I never saw anything like that and the Expanded Universe is waaaay to damn complicated and not really made by George.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Armok on July 31, 2010, 05:26:37 pm
The Empire is also strongly inspired by the Third Reich, and they do things like opress minority groups (the aliens), take slaves, and take from the poor.
Maybe one problem is it's not really scaled up well to galactic proportions, what was history changing atrocities on a single planet becomes inefficiencies in the margin in the margin for galactic scales.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Jackrabbit on July 31, 2010, 05:28:11 pm
The Empire is also strongly inspired by the Third Reich, and they do things like opress minority groups (the aliens), take slaves, and take from the poor.
Maybe one problem is it's not really scaled up well to galactic proportions, what was history changing atrocities on a single planet becomes inefficiencies in the margin in the margin for galactic scales.
See, whilst it feels really odds to say this, I agree. I've never seen galaxy wide oppression in Star Wars (cept Alderan), just a few really bad eggs and them treating their planets badly.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: smigenboger on July 31, 2010, 05:50:54 pm
Kind of like Earth, but bigger...
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Grakelin on August 01, 2010, 03:08:57 pm
Wookies are slaves, if that helps.

Also, something not being done by George Lucas isn't always a bad thing. Gene Roddenberry was pushed out of Wrath of Khan and hated the movie, and yet, it is generally agreed upon that Star Trek: The Motion Picture did not exist, and Wrath of Khan was the first Star Trek film.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Puck on August 02, 2010, 08:19:37 am
I always thought it was pretty obvious that the moral of the story was that the dark and the light side need to be in balance.

You know, Yin and Yang or that one Tarot card with the wheel of fortune. (That one. (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_DeutwC_pLZ0/SwI8ph-JfHI/AAAAAAAADL8/lBfBw1GdxpY/s1600/RWS_Tarot_10_Wheel_of_Fortune.jpg)) There are two forces pulling on that wheel, that snake and that reddish thing. One force represents life and the other one death, or something like that. Creation and destruction. The sphinx supposedly represents the mystery of life or something, and should the main forces ever get out of balance, the sphinx would fall.

At any rate, we needed Lucas to make those new 3 crappyish Star Wars movie to hear ONE jedi say, just once, that maybe the light has gotten too strong and since they are the wise guys, maybe they should let it happen.

Up to that point, when watching the movies, you only had the impression each side was just fighting for leadership or just plain survival.

In the older movies its a bit easier to ignore because the rebellion clearly is the underdog.

Anyways, long story short,
The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Sergius on August 02, 2010, 02:53:53 pm
Wookies are slaves, if that helps.

Also, something not being done by George Lucas isn't always a bad thing. Gene Roddenberry was pushed out of Wrath of Khan and hated the movie, and yet, it is generally agreed upon that Star Trek: The Motion Picture did not exist, and Wrath of Khan was the first Star Trek film.

Sure, but at least that movie was professionally-made. Or something.

Most Star Wars books would be what you call "ascended fan-fiction", and a bunch of them start with a ridiculous premise (like, some evil threat to the galaxy is because the severed robot hand of Darth Vader escaped the destruction of the 2nd Death Star). At the very least, while you can't say "that's not in the movies, therefore it didn't happen!", you can't say "George wasn't on crack painting the Empire as evil because some third party book explains that the Emperor really was *that* evil and eventually planned to suck the brain of everyone in the galaxy with a straw."

(and yes, that last one actually happens in a book too, and conveniently justifies all the anti-Empire actions everywhere, no matter how unethical)
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Sergius on August 02, 2010, 02:59:12 pm
I always thought it was pretty obvious that the moral of the story was that the dark and the light side need to be in balance.

You know, Yin and Yang or that one Tarot card with the wheel of fortune. (That one. (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_DeutwC_pLZ0/SwI8ph-JfHI/AAAAAAAADL8/lBfBw1GdxpY/s1600/RWS_Tarot_10_Wheel_of_Fortune.jpg)) There are two forces pulling on that wheel, that snake and that reddish thing. One force represents life and the other one death, or something like that. Creation and destruction. The sphinx supposedly represents the mystery of life or something, and should the main forces ever get out of balance, the sphinx would fall. Side doesn't pay like it used to.

The funny part is that, the whole "Whinakin bringing balance to the Force" is usually interpreted that way by fans/critics (idiot Jedis didn't figure out that "balance" here meant "killing a metric assload of Light Side Jedis, since there weren't as many evil Sith"), yet Word of God goes like "NOOO! That's not what I meant! Balance means that the Good Guys Win, and they just were wrong and stuff!" even 'though he references many times the corruption and complacency of Jedi.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Josephus on August 02, 2010, 05:11:38 pm
Meaning that the Jedi were no longer the "good guys", perhaps?
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on August 02, 2010, 05:19:26 pm
That might work, if not for Luke spending most of his time in Episodes IV-VI trying to become a Jedi. And that said trying was supported by Obi-Wan and Yoda, two of the most jedi-y Jedi ever. Then again, we could look at it as their being no good guys, with the Lawful Evil Galactic Empire fighting the Chaotic Evil Rebel Alliance in a big 40k-ish thing... I have serious problems for even considering a WMG of that absurdity, but there you go.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Josephus on August 02, 2010, 05:24:19 pm
Obi-Wan is pretty much repentant by this point, and Yoda looks to have revised his worldview quite a bit by the time episodes 456 roll around.

Of course, now Obi-Wan is a lying dickwad, and Yoda is old.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Lucus Casius on August 02, 2010, 05:25:33 pm
Obi-Wan is a lying dickwad
He's actually quite honest, from a certain point of view. :P
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on August 02, 2010, 05:29:09 pm
Obi-Wan is a lying dickwad
He's actually quite honest, from a certain point of view. :P
Yes, just like there is nothing wrong with kidnapping gifted children and conscripting lobotomized clones, from a certain point of view. However, this point of view is unrepentent fanatical evil.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Jackrabbit on August 02, 2010, 08:42:33 pm
He was referencing Robot Chicken.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on August 02, 2010, 08:46:16 pm
I know, but my insane point doesn't stand anyway.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: ReDeadEr on August 11, 2010, 11:38:26 am
you'd have to imagine that The Emperor, after seeing this on the news, pimpslapped Vader for it.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: AtomicPaperclip on August 11, 2010, 02:24:11 pm
The Empire is also strongly inspired by the Third Reich, and they do things like opress minority groups (the aliens), take slaves, and take from the poor.

You mean in the movies? I've only ever watched the movies and I never saw anything like that and the Expanded Universe is waaaay to damn complicated and not really made by George.
There are lots of slaves in the movies. The oppression is similar, the power is similar, etc.

If you watch Vader walk it looks just like Hitler. Hell, stormtroopers was the name of a Nazi organization, the SA.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: PTTG?? on August 11, 2010, 02:33:53 pm
(http://www.smsdesign.net/images/Godwin.jpg)
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Josephus on August 11, 2010, 04:42:17 pm
The Empire is also strongly inspired by the Third Reich, and they do things like opress minority groups (the aliens), take slaves, and take from the poor.

You mean in the movies? I've only ever watched the movies and I never saw anything like that and the Expanded Universe is waaaay to damn complicated and not really made by George.
There are lots of slaves in the movies. The oppression is similar, the power is similar, etc.

If you watch Vader walk it looks just like Hitler. Hell, stormtroopers was the name of a Nazi organization, the SA.

The only slaves in the movies are in the prequels. And on a planet outside the Republic.

There are no slaves in the original movies; Chewbacca's origin story comes solely from the Expanded Universe, and the "minority/female oppression" was a Shrug of God from Lucas after fans noticed that there were no aliens or women in imperial forces. Note that there are almost no aliens or women in rebel forces, actually, besides Nien Nunb (who is a smuggler), Chewbacca (who is also a smuggler) and Admiral Ackbar (who is a goddamn squid or fish or whatever twisted into humanoid form).

At any rate, ask Lucas today and he'll say that the lack of women or aliens was intentional; most likely he pulled it out of his ass the same way he did the "Luke and Leia are siblings" plot tweest.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Grakelin on August 20, 2010, 01:05:32 pm
Not really Godwin's law when the Nazi reference was made before the thread started.

(http://www.shadowdalecreations.com/imperial_officer_1.jpg)

(http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:0mqXNLpMbv-Q7M:http://cache.boston.com/resize/bonzai-fba/Globe_Photo/2009/07/23/1248398503_3789/539w.jpg&t=1)

But, like, look at these guys. And their guns.

(http://pnmedia.gamespy.com/planetcoh.gamespy.com/images/history/luger.jpg)

(http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c100/jedi5150/props/power%205/IMG00248-20100427-2321.jpg)


Seems pretty clear to me.


EDIT:

Their soldiers are called 'Stormtroopers', too.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Aqizzar on August 20, 2010, 02:53:02 pm
Welcome to 1977 Grakelin, glade you could make it.  Just wait for 2002, the social commentary will blow your mind.

I just thought to mention.  While out doing errands today, I ran across a police officer who had the Imperial March as a ringtone.  Read into that what you will.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Sergius on August 20, 2010, 05:08:22 pm
The Mauser is actually Han Solo's pistol.

I guess that means Han is a Nazi spy.

Expanded Universe states that the gun was popular with Rebels and smugglers because it penetrated armor easily, and production/sale was actually banned by the Empire.

The stormtrooper rifle is based on a Sterling Arms Mk4/L2A3 sub-machine gun – which were used by the British following World War II. I suppose that means the Empire are the British? They also have British accents. Damn those Galactic Imperial British Nazi Jews!

Not to mention that Jedi are based on real-life Photographers! Because photographers have force powers and they kill you with old camera flash handles.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Aqizzar on August 20, 2010, 05:20:45 pm
The stormtrooper rifle is based on a Sterling Arms Mk4/L2A3 sub-machine gun – which were used by the British following World War II. I suppose that means the Empire are the British? They also have British accents. Damn those Galactic Imperial British Nazi Jews!

Fun fact - almost all of the extras in Episode 4 were British.  Most of the Rebel pilots did their lines in their natural English accents, but they went back and redubbed those hick American accents to differentiate them from the Empire, and make them seem more earthy and footloose.

Also, the Rebel Alliance Army seen in Episode 5 was mostly composed of Norwegian military men, with their normal winter gear gussied up with sci-fi props.  What an awesome day to be in the army.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Jackrabbit on August 20, 2010, 06:29:31 pm
So the New Zealanders get to borrow their vehicles and ride around in them for a few months and the Norwegians get to be in Star Wars movies. Two best armies on the planet, I'm tellin' ya.

As for the references to the Third Reich, I did see that, yes. What I was saying was that I didn't see the Empire oppress minorities, steal money or take slaves in the movies.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Aqizzar on August 20, 2010, 06:42:33 pm
What I was saying was that I didn't see the Empire oppress minorities, steal money or take slaves in the movies.

You will notice that the Empire is composed entirely of Caucasian human men.  In a galaxy full of all kinds of other stuff.  Sure, the Alliance was mostly male human honkies too, but at least they had some high ranking tokens.  Specifically, Lando, Ackbar, and Mon Mothma for the Triple Crown of interstellar equal opportunity.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Jackrabbit on August 20, 2010, 06:44:32 pm
I guess they might oppress the minorities in that they don't teach them to shoot incredibly poorly and die in silly ways.

But I see what you're saying. So that's one. Any others?
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on August 20, 2010, 06:45:49 pm
They also blew up Alderan, which was likely a human majority planet. If the Empire were really that human-centric, they would have destroyed some alien majority planet for their demonstration.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Josephus on August 20, 2010, 06:47:28 pm
Yeah. Alderaan is as Crystal Spires European as it gets.

I still maintain the "minority oppression" is something Lucas ass-pulled after he noticed it would make sense. Or that their budget wasn't high enough for alien costumes that could withstand the action scenes.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Aqizzar on August 20, 2010, 06:52:14 pm
Yeah. Alderaan is as Crystal Spires European as it gets.

I still maintain the "minority oppression" is something Lucas ass-pulled after he noticed it would make sense. Or that their budget wasn't high enough for alien costumes that could withstand the action scenes.

Not in the first movie anyway, they were pretty simple.  As for Alderaan, I'd say it says more to the Empire's callousness that they would throw away a human planet, and to the abundance of human dominated worlds that they weren't going to miss one.  Besides, we don't actually get to see anything about Alderaan, except for Leia's sparkling personality, until the end of the last movie, where it looks suspiciously like Naboo in different lighting.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on August 20, 2010, 07:11:46 pm
As the article many pages back points out, the Empire as a faction is extreme Lawful Neutral. They want absoulte order, at any cost, even if that means killing a planet to ensure no one messes with them. The Alliance, on the other hand, is an assured Chaotic Neutral. This is because it is the position farthest away from the Empire, and most toxic to the Empire's continued survival.

Does the Empire go too far? Obviously, but this is greatly facilitated by Darth Sidious himself, who's actions paint him as Neutral Evil after becoming Emperor, and Lawful Evil before. This is not helped at all by Darth Vader, who is so very broken that the alligment system might not apply to him. Vader only commits two actions for his own ambition throughout the two films, that being trying to make Luke follow him and killing Sidious to save Luke's life. The former implies the continued existance of Anakin Skywalker within Vader, and the second confirms it, so they might not even count as Vader's actions at all. Everything else Vader does is on behalf of the Emperor, with the only exception being Anakin's wish to save his son, and even that gets twisted into a wish for a worthy apprentice to carry on the Rule of Two untill Luke's death is assured without his action.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Grakelin on August 21, 2010, 02:32:28 pm
Welcome to 1977 Grakelin, glade you could make it.  Just wait for 2002, the social commentary will blow your mind.

You're usually a lot smarter than that, Aqizzar.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Jackrabbit on August 21, 2010, 04:29:49 pm
Where have you been for the last three years? Funny, passive-aggressive, intelligent jabs are what the man is about. He means no harm.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Ioric Kittencuddler on August 21, 2010, 11:31:26 pm
I think we're kind of all forgetting how stupid the Star Wars movies are.  I mean, Bobba Fett gets killed by a blinded Han Solo's wild flailing of a vibro axe and Leia strangled a gigantic obese slug with the chain she has attaching her to him.  Also, Ewoks.  And that's just the original theatrical versions.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Josephus on August 21, 2010, 11:32:42 pm
Now now, that's all from RoTJ.

Need to find something from A New Hope and Empire too.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Sergius on August 21, 2010, 11:40:03 pm
Return of the Jedi had a lot of overuse of camp and stupid humour... that the Prequel Trilogy seems to be based on a LOT. It wasn't enough that little teddy bears beat the Empire's elite, they had to look silly and cute doing it so the children in the audience would cheer. Remember the Caravan of Courage? Based on Return of the Jedi. I wonder why.

I also think George loves the Caravan. He probably would have liked to make many more sequels to that.

In Empire Strikes Back (considered by many the best of the series, probably George Lucas's least favorite, because he's an unoriginal hack in love with slapstick comedy and really bad romance dialogue writing) there is a lot of grittiness, badassery, roguishness and scoundricity that a lot of us have grown to love. But it was Too Good To Last (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TooGoodToLast).

Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Ioric Kittencuddler on August 22, 2010, 02:14:18 am
I just realized that one of my friends is a manic pixie dream girl.  :o

Thank you TVTropes?

Er, more on topic, what's Caravan?
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Rilder on August 22, 2010, 02:50:02 am
Darth Vader probably had to rob that bank after he was laid off from the water treatment plant.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Aqizzar on August 22, 2010, 02:59:11 am
Now now, that's all from RoTJ.

Need to find something from A New Hope and Empire too.

Empire had C3P0 making an ass of himself while stuck on Chewie's back throughout the so emotional and dramatic scenes toward the end.  Remember, helpfully explaining carbonite to the audience and then being banged into doorways?

As for New Hope, uh...  Han running around like an idiot in the Death Star, apparently befuddling the entire garrison by yelling loud enough while he shoots at them.  I never could figure that chase scene out.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: Maggarg - Eater of chicke on August 22, 2010, 04:15:30 am
Where have you been for the last three years?
Presumably in 1975, 76 and 77.
How he's using the internet from nearly 15 years before it was invented I'm not entirely sure.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to - The Idiocy Strikes Back
Post by: Aqizzar on September 16, 2010, 05:00:43 am
There is a trend forming.  Man robs a convenience store while wearing a (cheap) Darth Vader mask. (http://www.freep.com/article/20100915/NEWS03/100915062/1320/Ferndale-police-seek-Darth-Vader-bandit)  However, this time it's clearly an impostor.  While Vader's helmet does make an excellent disguise, especially the ones with those voice-box things, it helps if you don't walk into the store with your face exposed, and then put on your "disguise" right in front of a camera.

Also, he robbed the place with a butcher knife, what the Hell.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to - The Idiocy Strikes Back
Post by: Medicine Man on September 16, 2010, 05:07:54 am
It wasn't a butcher knife! It was a Lightsaber! He was just using the force to polymorph it!
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to.
Post by: zchris13 on September 16, 2010, 10:14:54 am
The Empire is also strongly inspired by the Third Reich, and they do things like opress minority groups (the aliens), take slaves, and take from the poor.

You mean in the movies? I've only ever watched the movies and I never saw anything like that and the Expanded Universe is waaaay to damn complicated and not really made by George.
There are lots of slaves in the movies. The oppression is similar, the power is similar, etc.

If you watch Vader walk it looks just like Hitler. Hell, stormtroopers was the name of a Nazi organization, the SA.

The only slaves in the movies are in the prequels. And on a planet outside the Republic.

There are no slaves in the original movies; Chewbacca's origin story comes solely from the Expanded Universe, and the "minority/female oppression" was a Shrug of God from Lucas after fans noticed that there were no aliens or women in imperial forces. Note that there are almost no aliens or women in rebel forces, actually, besides Nien Nunb (who is a smuggler), Chewbacca (who is also a smuggler) and Admiral Ackbar (who is a goddamn squid or fish or whatever twisted into humanoid form).

At any rate, ask Lucas today and he'll say that the lack of women or aliens was intentional; most likely he pulled it out of his ass the same way he did the "Luke and Leia are siblings" plot tweest.
The Wookies are slaves definitely comes from the Holiday Special, which is totally canon, even though it never happened.
Also: the Stormtroopers were falling back to their support, even though they heavily outgunned and outnumbered Chewie and Han.  Han was making sure that they stayed running by acting like an idiot.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to - The Idiocy Strikes Back
Post by: ToonyMan on September 16, 2010, 01:59:01 pm
There is a trend forming.  Man robs a convenience store while wearing a (cheap) Darth Vader mask. (http://www.freep.com/article/20100915/NEWS03/100915062/1320/Ferndale-police-seek-Darth-Vader-bandit)  However, this time it's clearly an impostor.  While Vader's helmet does make an excellent disguise, especially the ones with those voice-box things, it helps if you don't walk into the store with your face exposed, and then put on your "disguise" right in front of a camera.

Also, he robbed the place with a butcher knife, what the Hell.
Cops would shoot you if you were armed with a gun.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to - The Idiocy Strikes Back
Post by: Jackrabbit on September 16, 2010, 02:06:46 pm
Over here there was a big fuss when they gunned down a (drugged up?) teenager with a knife who was charging at them. As long as you have a weapon the danger is there.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to - The Idiocy Strikes Back
Post by: Leafsnail on September 16, 2010, 02:17:21 pm
Yeah, but you're much less likely to get shot if you actually want to surrender when surrounded.  They might decide that someone unbalanced enough to rob somewhere dressed as Darth Vader is unbalanced enough to try and shoot his way out :P.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to - The Idiocy Strikes Back
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on September 16, 2010, 02:27:27 pm
Eh, I've seen video of a cop gunning down a guy who wasn't armed at all, nor on drugs, just punching him. According to the report, said guy died before the ambulance even arived. No charges filed, so a weapon is not a prerequisite to being shot by the cops.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to - The Idiocy Strikes Back
Post by: Jackrabbit on September 16, 2010, 02:29:48 pm
It does decrease the chances. What decreases the chances even more is not being on drugs and not attacking the cop at all.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to - The Idiocy Strikes Back
Post by: ToonyMan on September 16, 2010, 02:30:00 pm
That's sufficient evidence, I'm convinced.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to - The Idiocy Strikes Back
Post by: MetalSlimeHunt on September 16, 2010, 02:36:47 pm
Here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gL5LwH704jQ&feature=related) is the video I was referencing, if anyone is interested.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to - The Idiocy Strikes Back
Post by: Jackrabbit on September 16, 2010, 02:39:48 pm
Okay, what? He smashed his head into a concrete wall and tore his eyebrow off? I probably would have shot him too, if my tazer hadn't worked.

But then, I'll never know unless I end up in a similar situation.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to - The Idiocy Strikes Back
Post by: Leafsnail on September 16, 2010, 06:09:31 pm
Was the guy reaching for the police officer's gun?  That'd probably be grounds for using it.
Title: Re: The Dark Side doesn't pay like it used to - The Idiocy Strikes Back
Post by: ToonyMan on September 16, 2010, 06:13:12 pm
Was the guy reaching for the police officer's gun?  That'd probably be grounds for using it.
Not really no.  Should have used their geass.