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Keep on going downstraem

0 (0%)

Time for some heroic swimming?...no?

0 (0%)

Find a dead tree or other long object, work as a group to hoist it across. (With emphasis on actually finding said object...)

4 (44.4%)

Invent some absurd creation involving rope and stuff which slowly pulls tied up people across…

5 (55.6%)

Total Members Voted: 9

[AfellowDwarf]

So, what happened? (Sorry if that's a too personal inquiry. Don't feel obliged to answer.) Computer problems? Family? Overall business?

[slowpokez]

So, what happened? (Sorry if that's a too personal inquiry. Don't feel obliged to answer.) Computer problems? Family? Overall business?

Well at first I got a new girlfriend which led to me kind of like putting other stuff to the side for a while, we broke up a few weeks later though(short but sweet). Afterwards I had a sudden urge to do some soulsearching(no idea how you'd really explain it in english) which wasn't really related to recent events but rather me being unsure of what I want to do with my life. So two friends and I went out to travel across the world, we were gonna go through europe and asia and then take a ship over to south america, drive up to north america and follow the southern cost line and finally take a flight back to europe. We never got that far 'cause we ended up in some trouble in india during the second month but all in all I have to say that it was one  of the best experiences of my life    

But nevermind I'll see if I can find my notes and get the story goin again sometimes soonish

[AfellowDwarf]

but all in all I have to say that it was one  of the best experiences of my life    

All right, good for you! I'm glad to hear it's not a "My dog took my credit card and ran off with my mother" kind of thing that kept you busy.

[WillowLuman]

Sounds like good times. I'm kind of interested in the full story.

[NAV]

Sounds like good times. I'm kind of interested in the full story.

In illustrated suggestion game format

Welcome back Slowpokez.

[gman8181]

Just glad you're alright.

Despite not actually knowing you, I was pretty worried when you disappeared so completely.

[Tirion]

Igor, fetch me the electrodes.
It's alive! ALIVE!!! 

[slowpokez]

Sounds like good times. I'm kind of interested in the full story.

all right xD but even the short version is really long-
(It's written really fast so it's misspelled to such an extent that it's almost incomprehensible)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Well...it all started off real great while we still had loads of money to spend, you know we flew from city to city, stayed at hotels and went out clubbing almost every night. Some of these places were expensive as fck like berlin, frankfurt and paris, luckily my cousin lives in france so we managed to avoid some expenses thanks to that. A lot of things happned here during the first weeks, like I won a drinking competition while we were in germany but went really out of hand and ended up manfighting a squad of seagulls(or some other shitty white birds, i dont know the names) for a good 20min and invited myself into the home of some poor unexpecting german family that didn't speak a word of english. Then a few days later(still germany) I ended up meeting a cool guy at a bar who was an artist, so he and I as well as one of his friends ended up paiting a wall in his apartment. It was not until I sobered up that I realised that the other two guys were super gay and I wouldn't say I was put off by the situation but I decided to take my leave before it got awkward. I had my first experience with an older woman in france(14yrs), she left quite hastily though once she realised that I wasn't french. I guess she was looking for a boyfriend or something but I have no idea how she fell for my abysmal french(Especially how I kept repeating -Je ne comprend pas 24/7). I gotta say that one of the best times were actually when we were really exhaused one evening and sat down by the fountain at the eiffel tower and this street vendor brings us a bucket a of beer. We try and buy 3 beers off of him but he asks for too much money so we end up haggling for a good 20min, somehow we end up buying all his beer for more than the original price per bottle -____-' , but then again it was great just sitting there on the steps whatching the sun set and then later on how they light up the tower and so on.
 
Somehow we managed to frontload our budget quite heavily so we started traveling by train instead of planes(which I might add was bit of a mistake since traveling by train in europe often end up costing more than flying) we could still stay at hotels though because they dropped in price once we got further east. What's also super cheap is alcohol, so naturally I decide to stock up while I can. Only problem is that I have a very limited bagspace to work with(i always travel light) so I decide to try and get as much alcohol as possible while taking up as little space as possible. The answer is of course absint. I would really recomend that you try it as it's quite special but I'd never recomend anyone to stack 6 bottles of that shit in their bag(this decision was made while all ready intoxicated). By pure coincidence while we were in prague I met two russian girls I knew , I had been there last year during the beer festival. I never really understood why they were in prague cause last time met them they said they were just there to study but now they lived there , anyways I got to stay at their place while my freinds couldn't for some reason . Anyways it was great to have a kitchen again, I love cooking. Anyways at this point we picked up the tempo quite a bit and didn't stay in every country and even if we did not more than a day or so, tbh I even slept through all of romania even though my friends had a great time there. I did however crash a wedding somewhere between bulgaria or turkey, everyone else was all dressed up and all and I was kinda dusty, smelled of champaign and jeagermeister and I still had scars from those fckn seagulls. I was almost hoping for some epic intrigue but they just stared at me dismissingly and after a while they seemed to accept me as a natural part of it all, I even went out of my way and congratualted the groom while performing an overly exaggerated bow. I can only imagine the aftermatch when the familys are talking shit about eachother for bringing in the hobo looking guy that ate all the cucumber starters(me)

This is where things took a turn for the worse as we were running low on money, so we had to survive pretty much on other peoples hospitality, hitchhiking and stealing stuff. It was really exciting at first but soon lost it's charm, like I'm fine with walking around in a bloody wasteland for 12 hours straight, I'm fine with eating some wierd soup made from leaves and goatscheese?(or something similar) but I am not fine with having to shit outdoors without real toilet paper. That is where I draw the line. It quickly turned from a neverending partyadventure to a survival game based on using hand gestures to convince retarded locals to help you out. For me this was the part of where I was kinda bitter and didn't contribute much to the group, we kinda alternated that way, since one of my mates was really down while we were in eastern europe and my other friend is the one that decide that we should end the trip later on. I didn't pay much attention to what was going on as we drove around in shitty diesel-veichle(I have no idea what the fuck it was, a makeshift car built from tractor parts perhaps... ), can't really come up any good stories from this part except for one unintentionally funny encounter. So were out in the middle of nowhere somewhere south of russia, I'm guessin pretty far down cause' it was freakishly hot on that day. My friend has forgotten something at the place we stayed last night and we have to go back which is a 1,5 hour drive or so, me not being so keen on being in the stupid carthing any more than what I have to make the deciesion to stay behind. After 10 minutes or so I began regretting my decision as it becomes apparant than I'm gonna have to sit there for 3 hours without a soul in sight in any direction, like not even any trees or anything just a fucking rock. So I do the only sensible thing and climb onto the rock and reach into my stash of absint. An undefinable amount of time pass and the combination of drinking far too much as well as the crazy hot weather makes me...not pass out but rather like end up in a halfwake state where I'm just staring out into the distance not really doing anything. Suddently I hear english voices for like the first time in weeks but since I'm a bit sluggish I don't really react and just turn in their general direction. It's a man and a woman in proper traveling gear and what I assume is guide or something stopping by my rock. They stare at me with huge eyes- like what the fuck is this guy doing here chilling out in the middle of nowhere, after a bit they ask me if I need a lift to which I just reply -nah man I'm cool- followed by one of the longest awkward silences of my life...

Anyhow we manage to get a lift all the way to india driving trough multiple countries without having to show any form of identification at the borders, I'm kinda glad that this is the case cause i've swimmed with my passport more than once and it lacks a few pages in the back. Once we get there I get sort of a second wind and my spirits are on top again. Well there happned a lot of fun stuff in just the two days we were there but most notably theres the time we left a party and I kept dancing along the street and like 5 minutes later theres a bunch of like street kids trailing behind me rocking out like crazy. Even though this was completly unplanned for I just kept going and my freinds joined me as well as a dude with a huge beard, we must've looked like fckn idiots dancing forth on a crowded street Then theres the time we stole a boat and pretended to be pirates, none of us had had ever sailed before so when it came to getting back ashore we were forced to leave the boat off shore and swim back. The last day is when I made a big mistake... Generally I'm a very chill guy and don't really get into fights, like if you spill your drink on me it's cool as long as it's a mistake and so on. But I'm very competative and have a hard time turning down a challange, especially when I'm drunk. So I somehow manage to piss off this little indian guy whom make it quite obvious that he wants to fight me, I think that it's still just for fun cause he's still smiling throughout it all. I'm not too worried about fighting him either since I was more than a head taller than this fellow(almost 1.90), his freinds are there as well but I don't think much of I guess I wrote em off as an audience. Well I'm expecting a proper fistfight but oh no, this guy never even clenched his fist but used them more like claws, it was fucking crazy how this little guy almost broke two of my fingers and bit me in the stomach in just about a second. Well in the end I finally manage to force him down aginst the ground but I'm hurting all over from his insane ways of fighting, that's when his freinds jump in and it's a suddently a 5 on 1 and I'm kind of panicking. My freinds sees that I'm in trouble and rush over but don't want to get involved so they try to talk with them. At this point I've essensially accepted my fate, wouldn't be the first time I've been beaten up. But these crazy idiots pulls out a fucking aluminium bat and I release my grip on the first guy to defend myself but it's too late and I'm struck across the forehead with this thing. I have no idea how you manage to do this with what's practiaclly a cirular metal rod but my eyebrows ripped apart and I get a long straight wound on my forehead, I can't see shit cause I've got blood in my eyes. I'm like crying and shit at this point and they go for a second hit to the back of my head to knock me out cold. I get my face smahed aginst the ground but it doesn't work and I take the oppertunity to get up on my feet, but I can't decide if I'm fighting or running so I'm just flailing around aimlessly. I take another hit to the ribcage but now more people is showing up and the gang hesitates for a second, one of my friends take the oppertunity to break up the fight and get me out of there. The next day I'm a bit soar but none of my wounds seemed to have caused any lasting damage so I was up for keeping the trip going but one of my freinds had had enough. He had an emergancy account for if we had gotten lost or something and used it to buy tickets back home. In hindsight I guess it was a pretty good move but I've always wanted to be able to say that I've traveled around the world, halfway just doesn't really cut it    

Well I had changed a lot when I got back, my time in the uncivilized wasteland had made me go from a heavy to chainsmoker to being completly nicotine independant, I'd lost 10 kgs or so(after working out alot lately ive gained back 5), I got the most uneven tan of all time and most of my scars have started healing up but the one on my eyebrow is still there. 

There was some bad times like the ending or when I was sulking in the wierd tractorcar but all the cool stuff that happned and all the new friends I met along the way really made it worth it

[NAV]

Haha man your adventures were almost as crazy as Nerins.

[WillowLuman]

Sounds like quite the time. How much money did you set off with?

[slowpokez]

Haha man your adventures were almost as crazy as Nerins.

I did purposly pick out the interesting stuff, did lots of waiting in airports and all the other boring stuff aswell

Sounds like quite the time. How much money did you set off with?

bout' 2500€ or so, same for one of my freinds while the other brought a lot more and funded the end of the trip. Like I said we kind of frontloaded the spending quite a bit and I'm convinced that it'd been possible to make the original trip with some better management

anyways back on track soon, I'm just haveing some serious trouble deciphering my own notes atm...

[AfellowDwarf]

I thought about answering this one a while back, but I didn't because, well, necromancy.

So, about those tracks. I couldn't tell from the picture, but what do they look like?

The animal seems to have three toes, which narrows it down quite a bit. I've added some contrast and removed some color to make that clearer:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Most animals don't have three toes. Rhynos do, as do Sloths. Then again, at the rate where creatures lose their body parts in DF, this doesn't say much. (Though, I guess this would mean there are a lot less were-creatures to pick from. With their regeneration, there would be but a small chance of it missing toes.)
You could also connect the two toes on the upper left and get a cow-like pawprint, like a minotaur.

[slowpokez]

I thought about answering this one a while back, but I didn't because, well, necromancy.

So, about those tracks. I couldn't tell from the picture, but what do they look like?

The animal seems to have three toes, which narrows it down quite a bit. I've added some contrast and removed some color to make that clearer:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Most animals don't have three toes. Rhynos do, as do Sloths. Then again, at the rate where creatures lose their body parts in DF, this doesn't say much. (Though, I guess this would mean there are a lot less were-creatures to pick from. With their regeneration, there would be but a small chance of it missing toes.)
You could also connect the two toes on the upper left and get a cow-like pawprint, like a minotaur.

This be some CSI shit right there...
The reason why it's taking so long is that I've written all my notes in image files instead of a word document like normal person would have done...

[AfellowDwarf]

The reason why it's taking so long is that I've written all my notes in image files instead of a word document like normal person would have done...

That does sound like a problem.

[slowpokez]

Guess whos back!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The amount of fucking maps and notes I've been forced to go through...never thought I'd have to study something written by myself

________________________________________

The discussion whether we should approach the unknown woman or simply investigate her things became rather heated and it took quite some time for the voices to settle for a decision. Some were vary of the potential repercussions while others were merely overwrought by the opportunity…
We should go through her stuff and look for clues, no reason to steal anything though as we don’t know who we’re dealing with. And perhaps we should investigate those tracks as well; I can’t tell what they are…
What!? You want to follow the tracks of some random fucking animal when we’ve been presented with such a glorious encounter.
I may be paranoid... I may be very paranoid... but doesn't anyone find this kind of weird? We should check her stuff and then go back to camp and report what we saw.
Oh! We can light up the nearby trees as a distraction! The impending forest fire will be sure to scare our elven comrades away!
Why!?
Uhmm…they seem like shady meddlers to me!
…
We should be nude when we approach her!!
There are multiple risks associated with such an action. First off she may not be alone. Secondly she might overpower us, as most things seem to… And thirdly it might be a trap anyway.
I got it! Use the rope we have to make one of those tree snare traps right next to the person's belongings. When they come to get their stuff, they get hoisted up into a tree and dangle there until someone rescues them.
We must be naked even if going through her belongings!  And let's stack her belongings in alphabetical order then write this in the dirt next to it something like-

Be more orderly or bad things will happen.
Love, The Vengeful Spirit of the Woods…

In the end no proper solution was reached so a compromise was decided upon, where we’d attempt to fulfill as many suggestions as possible (OOC, I had multiple updates finsished due to drastic changes in the votes )
First off I made my way over to the spot where I had spotted her belongings earlier; I did so in as quietly as dwarvenly possible while staying out of sight. The ground was littered with clothes, seemingly quite well worn so it’d be safe to assume that the woman’s a traveler of sort. Amongst them was also a bag, presumably used for miscellaneous items as it shared the same signs of frequent use with the clothes.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

After going through the clothes I found nothing of note as her pockets were empty except an emblem, an emblem which if I recall correctly was used by the family of Mui, indicating that she’s somehow employed by the state of Capitol. This does however not mean much as she could be anything from a diplomat to a secretary.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The bag on the other hand held a few surprises, a dagger made from copper or bronze, a metal flask with the mark of Capitol, some overcooked meat seasoned with an unknown spice, some eatable herbs which hold a very low nutritional value but keeps you full (commonly used by people traveling longer distances), 20 or so coins, a sealed off document with the sigil of Mui as well as a lot of random stuff like house keys, hair pins and string. There were also some horse related things which indicates that she might have a horse somewhere nearby, I might’ve gotten more in touch with nature during my time in Seraté but just the sheer size of horses still frightened me a bit…
I don’t really know what to make of it all except for the fact that she’s defiantly on traveling foot and has been for quite a while. But the voices left me no time to ponder on such trivial matters; I was to set up a snare trap of some kind. Something which I had never done before and had very little knowledge of… Some of the voices knew however and with their guidance I somehow managed to produce something looking like a proper snare trap. 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I even signed it with a warning from the vengeful spirit of the woods due to a request from Gili…
However, I was now moving on to the most intricate part of the plan; I was supposed to make contact with this unknown human…and to make matters worse do it naked. But as always there was no point in arguing once the voices had decided upon something, I guess I might as well pretend I’m there to bathe myself…
I had no idea really how I’d approach this situation without it ending horrendously, so I did whatever I could not to scare the life out of this poor lady. Which in this situation surprisingly enough meant that I’d be attempting to strike a casual conversation with a stranger while disrobing… never thought I’d hear myself utter that sentence…
-Uhmm…how’s the water…

(The story took an unnecessarily nsfw turn at this point…contents of spoiler is only for the bravelewd)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This was then of course followed by the standard reaction of screaming and panicking which to my relief ended fairly quickly…I guess I’ll have to thank my lucky star for that one…(that’s some sick rolls…like riding away on Wilfred to escape guards sick rolls)
I guess she didn’t find me too frightening in the end…
-So you’re here for a night dip as well?
-Uhmm…I guess….I mean yea…
As I broke the water surface I felt my body shiver even though it wasn’t too cold, I’ve never been too fond of water…
-And you’re friendly…master dwarf?
-As nice as they get I assure you…I’m not a thief or a thug or a …uhmm…
-Well it’s not often you see a traveling dwarf…
-Oh well uhmm….
-I didn’t mean to offend you!
-No, no it’s fine. It’s true dwarves don’t like to leave their homes…so…
-I don’t think I’ve seen any traveling dwarves but the ones you send with your caravans as well as a couple nobles at Capitol.
-Oh, are you coming from Capitol?
-No. I’m actually heading there at the moment.
-That’s quite far, are you traveling alone?
-No it’s me and Chester.
Alert Nerin! This might be trouble!
We didn’t see any evidence of this mysterious Chester…
I think we should bail quickly.
Ah, you can’t chicken out just because of that!
Yes…we should inquire more information about this Chester before making any decisions. 
-*gulp* Who….who’s Chester?
-Oh, it’s my horse.
Phew…
-And…and yours?
-Huh?
-Eh…Uhmm. Your name I mean.
-Oh, I’m Becca. You?
-I’m Nerin…Nerin lord of the glittering caves, Courtlounger of Seraté, initiate of the order of the Sun and…
What the fuck Nerin? Why you giving out so much information to strangers!?
Uhmm…well I…
That was stupid as fuck
I’ve gotten used to…
-Isn’t Seraté elven territory?
-Uhmm…well yes…I’ve been there as…a diplomat…
-So you’re really a lord?
-Well technically…
Nerin…you’re fucking retarded; just say you’re a lord.
-I mean…yes…the lord of Rocklod.
-Wow, that’s amazing! What are you doing out here with those weird clothes though?
Whoops an unexpectedly inquisitive question!
Don’t tell her about the order; it’ll seem real shady that you’re hanging out with a gang of tree-huggers and you’re supposed to act incognito anyway…
Well…they do look like priest robes…
I don’t know enough about any deity to bullshit my way through that though…
Sure ya do!
Huh?
Gili Stonehelm the greatest of them all!
Uhmm…
The diety of arson and reason!
Well I have to agree with him on this one…
Uhmm… sigh…Do your worst Gili…
-I’m on a pilgrimage…spreading the words of Gili Stonehelm…the god of fire…and reason.
-Oh…so you’re like a prophet?
-No no no, I’m but his humble servant, to call myself a prophet would be a disgrace to his radiance…
Are you sure you’re not taking this a bit far?
Nah, all priests are a bit fanatic when it comes to their beliefs.
-I’m not a religious person myself but if I was I’d defiantly go for a deity instead of the “creators”, they just seem so bland…
-Yes…not only bland but also…HERETICAL! 
-Wha…what?
Gili tone down the preaching for now…
Really? I just came up with some great verses for my unwritten scriptures!
-Uhmm…well sorry. I get so riled up sometimes.
-It’s fine…Still can’t believe that I’d meet a lord in the middle of the forest…
-That’s right, I forgot to ask. What are you doing here? Besides bathing of course…
-I’m a courier; speaking of bathing could you wash my hair for a bit?
-Sure, so more specifically what do you do?
Becca sits down so that I can reach her hair.

-I’m delivering an important item to the Capitol.
-Oh the…
STOP! If you mention the note she’ll know you went through her belongings!
Fuck…
-the…the Capitol huh…
-Yes?
It’s getting hard to concentrate not only due to the close proximity of the woman but also the fact that I’d gotten my hands full of disgusting soap…
-uhmm…I’ve…I’ve always wanted to visit there…
-Heh, you should go there sometime. It’s a unique experience.
As she laughed I could feel her breath on me…focus…focus on the soap…
-Stu…stupid soap…
-Huh?
She leans in closer and I feel her brush against me…
-No uhmm, I…
The rise was now inevitable; no soap in the world can save me now.
-I…I…
I try to stare off into the distance when my member touches something warm, taken by surprise I instantaneously shy away.
An alluring giggling shortly followed.
-You know what? I’ve never done it with a dwarf …
I’m bursting with confusion and embarrassment as I felt her touch again.
-Is….is that so…uhmm…?
-Why are you so dissenting master dwarf?
At the touch of her compassionately caressing lips I lost my composure and let out a quivering moan.
-No…I…
-Not interested? I’ve got something here indicating otherwise…
-My…my vows!
Nerin you’re putting up a valiant effort nut I’d say this charade is over…
This worked out far better than anticipated, just roll with the flow. What’s the worst that could happen?
The elves might come here and…well…it might not end nice for any of us…
They’re asleep!
-So priests can’t have fun? I thought you dwarves were more of the frivolous sort…
-I…I guess…the thing is…oh…
I abandon my half-assed attempts of resistance for a moment and I’m suddenly thrown into a state of complete ecstasy as I’m completely enveloped. But before I’m even able to reassess the situation it’s already over…I’m standing there in the shallow water listening to bad puns about priests and celibacy being told by a smirking Becca. From there on out we endorsed in the art of lovemaking for an extended period of time and showed no regard for the local wildlife as the resonance of our union echoed throughout the forest.

The difference in height proved to be problematic but when there’s a will there’s a way…

But as all good things it soon came to an end when I spot an undesirable sight showed itself just over the shoulder of my recently acquired acquaintance. 
-In the name of the Sun! What…!?
-Ohhh…
-Ahhhhh!
-Courtlounger this is….is highly unsuitable behavior for someone of your stature! And don’t forget that you’re under parole!
-Don’t worry I know this guy!
-It’s a friggin’ elf!
-Nerin, provide an explanation immediately!
-Calm down both of you…we’ll…we’ll sort this out…
-What’s going on!
-You’ve just compromised our entire mission!
-No no…uhmm…she’s okay!
-She could be a Spy you imbecile!
-She knows nothing!
-We can’t be sure about that…she must die here!
-Aww hell naw! I’m outta ‘ere!
She sprints away in the direction of her belongings…
At the same time I manage to blind body guard with my manhood.   
-Oh for the love of Tyraltin put on some pants dwarf!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Now I was put up before a difficult choice…should I leave with the Becca or the elf…
I can’t just leave my mission put at the same time I wouldn’t want the elves to kill off the girl due to my mistake.
The voices reactions varied…some said we should leave these long-eared tree-huggers for this clearly superior traveling companion while others meant that she’d be an unfortunate but necessary sacrifice on the road to meet the rumored necromancer. 
_______________________________________
please let me reiterate just how lucky of a roll ya’ll got there, 1/108…wtf  o_____O
Sorry 'bout the slow tempo...doing this drugfree's proven harder than expected...abstinence's a real bitch...
Glad to be back though.