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Author Topic: Your best artifact ever  (Read 290639 times)

Pukako

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Re: Your best artifact ever
« Reply #675 on: October 02, 2010, 05:37:12 am »

My artifacts mostly suck (a silk fibre left sock?) but my favourite was a rock statue of the creator staring at roaches, adorned with fox leather, I think.  He hates roaches.  When I put it on display in the main room, he eventually went mad....
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Salamandangerous

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Re: Your best artifact ever
« Reply #676 on: October 02, 2010, 04:46:07 pm »

Got the worst artifact ever yesterday. My novice bonecarver goes into a fey mood, I didn't have any butcherable animals available but my militia had just killed a mountain titan. Long story short it took my butcher nearly a season to drag the titan all the way to my butchershop and just as the bonecarver is ready to go insane the thing gets butchered. Urist McBonecarver has started a mysterious construction! Im thinking "Awesome yes! this is going to be great! I mean titan bones have got to be worth alot right?"
well he made a titan bone scepter, no images carved onto it, no spikes menacing from it, no decorations of any kind. Total value 1200 dwarf bucks, Needless to say I threw him in the warthog pit.

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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Your best artifact ever
« Reply #677 on: October 02, 2010, 04:52:12 pm »

Random creatures have a value of 1. I'm hoping Toady changes that. Also, bone artifacts are bugged right now, as you've seen.

I wish moody dwarves would decorate their artifact with each bone individually, so a dwarf who picks up 157 forgotten beast bones makes an artifact with 157 forgotten beast bone decorations on it.
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Gnauga

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Re: Your best artifact ever
« Reply #678 on: October 02, 2010, 05:14:19 pm »

My artifacts mostly suck (a silk fibre left sock?) but my favourite was a rock statue of the creator staring at roaches, adorned with fox leather, I think.  He hates roaches.  When I put it on display in the main room, he eventually went mad....
A true bohemian, suffering for his art.

On the topic of bonecarvers, I sort of like them, since they lessen the load on my refuse stockpiles. Also they ease my insatiable waste-not-want-not tendencies.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Your best artifact ever
« Reply #679 on: October 02, 2010, 05:15:48 pm »

They also give my marksdwarves tons of bolts until I decide that they are good enough to use metal.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

KaguroDraven

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Re: Your best artifact ever
« Reply #680 on: October 02, 2010, 09:50:14 pm »

My best artifact ever was The BloodRock. A platnium hammer that had spikes of bronze and bands on obsidion.
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kilakan

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Re: Your best artifact ever
« Reply #681 on: October 02, 2010, 10:08:59 pm »

Burntoarches, the steel crossbow, it was engraved with an obsidian dwarf in iron, a dwarf and dwarves in iron, a fire in iron, and Urgost the goblin and a fire, urgost is cowering, it relates to the burning of urgost by the obsidian dwarf Surkask.
That event also set the entire map on fire for a full year, and killed about 40 goblins.
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slothen

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Re: Your best artifact ever
« Reply #682 on: October 02, 2010, 11:00:59 pm »

My glassmaker has a preference for crossbows, weapon racks, and miniforges.  He built a 670,000 dwarfbuck green glass miniforge.  Not the best possible outcome, but quite valuable.
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Falc

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Re: Your best artifact ever
« Reply #683 on: October 07, 2010, 02:32:45 pm »

Ushulroldeth Limur Emen, "Realmanguish the Nadir of Strength", a gold battle axe.

It is decorated with cat leather. This object menaces with spikes of dog bone.
On the item is a picture of prickleberries in gold.
On the item is an image of Id Cavebronze the Gold of Mines, the deity of metals and minerals, depicted as a male dwarf in dog bone. Id Cavebronze the Gold of Mines is laughing.
On the item is an image of Realmanguish the Nadir of Strength the gold battle axe in obsidian.

Value 165600

So, you know... I like the name 'Realm anguish'. Though I first read it as 'real man guish'...
But the nadir of strength? That's the opposite of the zenith of strength... That sort of does not bode well, does it?
The image of Id Cavebronze? Appropriate. The 'Gold' of Mines? Odd typo or just unusual figure of speech?
And an image of itself on it... in obsidian. How can you be sure it's actually an image of a gold battleaxe when the image is in obsidian, fer cryin' out loud?

So yeah... Me like, but me raised a few eyebrows at this.
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Kalasen

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Re: Your best artifact ever
« Reply #684 on: October 07, 2010, 11:03:29 pm »

One day, a random weaponsmith goes into a fey mood. Which is awesome in and of itself, I get a legendary weaponsmith out of the deal. He hauls in a bar of adamantine. I'm thinking "Sweeeeet". Next he needs body parts. None are available at the moment, but I'd just murdered a bunch of unicorns. He goes straight for the bone and brings it in. So I'm thinking awesome. I hope it's an adamantine battle axe that menaces with spikes of unicorn bone, that would perfectly round off the luck with RNG. He works... and then he comes out with...

Utharod Govultakuth, "Firstlimb the Untrustworthy Chasm", a adamantine war hammer. 688,800 DwarfBucks
This is a adamantine war hammer. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object is adorned with hanging rings of adamantine and menaces with spikes of unicorn bone.

...it even got the menacing spikes right, but it had that one crucial flaw. It would be about as effective in combat as a fluffy pillow.

On the upside, I just pumped out three exceptional and one masterwork battle axes, and that hammer will be perfect for the Hammerer if I can workaround the lack of noble immigrants bug.
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Vehudur

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Re: Your best artifact ever
« Reply #685 on: October 07, 2010, 11:13:51 pm »

One day, a random weaponsmith goes into a fey mood. Which is awesome in and of itself, I get a legendary weaponsmith out of the deal. He hauls in a bar of adamantine. I'm thinking "Sweeeeet". Next he needs body parts. None are available at the moment, but I'd just murdered a bunch of unicorns. He goes straight for the bone and brings it in. So I'm thinking awesome. I hope it's an adamantine battle axe that menaces with spikes of unicorn bone, that would perfectly round off the luck with RNG. He works... and then he comes out with...

Utharod Govultakuth, "Firstlimb the Untrustworthy Chasm", a adamantine war hammer. 688,800 DwarfBucks
This is a adamantine war hammer. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object is adorned with hanging rings of adamantine and menaces with spikes of unicorn bone.

...it even got the menacing spikes right, but it had that one crucial flaw. It would be about as effective in combat as a fluffy pillow.

On the upside, I just pumped out three exceptional and one masterwork battle axes, and that hammer will be perfect for the Hammerer if I can workaround the lack of noble immigrants bug.

It's good for your Hammerer when you get one so he doesn't kill Dwarves.
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Terrahex

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Re: Your best artifact ever
« Reply #686 on: October 08, 2010, 12:55:33 am »

I can't remember the details, but I remember that my fourth artifact, a sword, had a picture of my second artifact, a silk dress, on it. I was like "you know that you're skilled when you can strike down goblins with a dress."
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Fanklok

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Re: Your best artifact ever
« Reply #687 on: October 08, 2010, 02:00:17 am »

Ushulroldeth Limur Emen, "Realmanguish the Nadir of Strength", a gold battle axe.

It is decorated with cat leather. This object menaces with spikes of dog bone.
On the item is a picture of prickleberries in gold.
On the item is an image of Id Cavebronze the Gold of Mines, the deity of metals and minerals, depicted as a male dwarf in dog bone. Id Cavebronze the Gold of Mines is laughing.
On the item is an image of Realmanguish the Nadir of Strength the gold battle axe in obsidian.

Value 165600

So, you know... I like the name 'Realm anguish'. Though I first read it as 'real man guish'...
But the nadir of strength? That's the opposite of the zenith of strength... That sort of does not bode well, does it?
The image of Id Cavebronze? Appropriate. The 'Gold' of Mines? Odd typo or just unusual figure of speech?
And an image of itself on it... in obsidian. How can you be sure it's actually an image of a gold battleaxe when the image is in obsidian, fer cryin' out loud?

So yeah... Me like, but me raised a few eyebrows at this.

I too raise eyebrows at this, 7 to be exact. They're still raised.
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Ten_Tacles

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Re: Your best artifact ever
« Reply #688 on: October 08, 2010, 03:01:21 pm »



:P
Beat that.
It also contains 36 images of itself.
And more then 10 from some random deity.
I sure love burrows and raw duplication :D
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Eugenitor

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Re: Your best artifact ever
« Reply #689 on: October 23, 2010, 06:11:38 am »



Let me enumerate how this is awesome:

1. Adamantine.

2. 1,898,400 Dwarfbucks.

3. A mask, IIRC, covers parts of the face that helms don't.

4. Engraving of my dwarves' other favorite thing to engrave pictures of, Frosterases the adamantine trousers.

5. Encrusted with emerald, studded with adamantine and emerald, spikes of adamantine and star fucking ruby, images in adamantine and light yellow diamond. Why yes, I do order expensive gems from Doran Shoveth. Stuff like this is why.

6. Made without raw duplication, burrow abuse, or other exploits :P
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