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Author Topic: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...  (Read 432787 times)

Oliolli

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1575 on: April 18, 2012, 01:15:33 am »

I think minefields could be made to work, with some precautions. Wooden fences around the minefields, which are around some proper roads. Not only would traders probably prefer to take a road, they'd not want to insult us by leaping over our nice fence and crossing through the field, especially if we put a "Please don't step on the grass" sign up. Invaders, however, would not be so polite.
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When all you've got is an adjustable spanner and an entire freight warehouse of terrifying cogs and gears, everything looks like "just a prototype".
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You all turned Swordthunders into a bastion of madness that seems to warp in on itself under its own hatred of sanity.  I'm so happy!
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Talvieno

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1576 on: April 18, 2012, 01:33:47 am »

I think minefields could be made to work, with some precautions. Wooden fences around the minefields, which are around some proper roads. Not only would traders probably prefer to take a road, they'd not want to insult us by leaping over our nice fence and crossing through the field, especially if we put a "Please don't step on the grass" sign up. Invaders, however, would not be so polite.
Why on earth would dwarves have a "Please don't step on the grass" sign in the first place??? Elves, maybe. If it wasn't for the way we mercilessly slaughtered goblins with weapons of mass destruction, we'd be the laughingstock of the whole world in no time. But no - The fence idea is great. Better yet, plant bushes through there beforehand - makes for very attractive cover. Who would take the road to attack someone if they could sneak through the bushes? Plus, if it was overgrown enough, nobody would want to go in there anyway, if you lived in the fort. What you'd do is have a small team of people laying the mines and keeping track on a map of where they are (that's our engineers (okay, maybe large group)). That way there's no trouble with communication from everyone laying their own mines (imagine someone pointing and proudly saying "and that's my mine. I laid it" and then someone walking past and blowing up), and we get the mines in there without having to mark them visibly. Minefields are a go - if you exercise caution and don't let everyone and their uncle work on them.
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Talvieno ... seems to be able to smash out novella-length tales on demand

Loud Whispers

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1577 on: April 18, 2012, 01:34:53 am »

You know what I think? We should put minefield signs everywhere. Sticking out from walls, hanging from ceilings, duct taped to cats, everywhere you wouldn't expect.

And then we begin planting the actual magma mines...

wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1578 on: April 18, 2012, 01:36:54 am »

Hey weird, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't putting powdered glass in someone's drink a very stealthy way to make them very dead?

Depends on the amount, size, and character of said glass.

Gastric mucosa is surprisingly resistant to puncture. See for instance, people who eat pica.

wikipedia article

People with this disorder have been known to eat broken glass, plastic bits, nails, screws, washers, metal jacks (from the children's game), rubber, clay, chalk, wood, pretty much anything that can be eaten (physically) has been reported in the history of the disorder as having BEEN eaten at some point.

Normally, flat glass is not terribly dangerous, as the damaged tissue can dislodge the foriegn debris and seal with normal blood coagulation. The reason feeding crushed lightbulbs to people and animals is due to the curved nature of the glass shards, which undercut into the flesh, then mechanically bind up, and can't be expelled, so the would doesn't heal. This causes increased locallized inflamation, cytotoxic shock, and death.

If you want to kill someone steathfully, adding powdered ricin in their food is better than glass considerably, as it takes time for someone to die from ricin exposure.  It works by gumming up the works, essentially. It inhibits normal protein synthesis, leading to multiple organ system failure from metabolic collapse. I understand the process is viciously unpleasant. Itself being an isolated protein from the castor bean plant, the redined poison is a weakly soluble offwhite powder, which is easy to administer, having very little if any flavor or odor.

If you insist on nasty stabbiness in the innards though, fine particles of abspestos sprinked into food and drink over several days or weeks will do it, sooner or later.  Abspestos forms microscopic needles with a somewhat serrated surface aspect. The fibers puncture flesh, are/can be like nanoscopic syrenge needles, and are small enough to puncture cell walls, swirl around cellular neuclei, and permit cellular cytoplasm to leak out of cells, killing them. It will cause necrotic lesions and precancerous neoplasms to grow inside the gastric system with persistent administration. The fibers can become permanently lodged in the tissues, causing spreading, horrible pathogenesis.

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Talvieno

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1579 on: April 18, 2012, 01:43:12 am »

Is it bad that I am absolutely loving this conversation?
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Talvieno ... seems to be able to smash out novella-length tales on demand

Cellmonk

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1580 on: April 18, 2012, 02:16:32 am »

If it is then we are both not very good people.
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RAKninja

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1581 on: April 18, 2012, 05:46:58 am »

Hey weird, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't putting powdered glass in someone's drink a very stealthy way to make them very dead?

Depends on the amount, size, and character of said glass.

Gastric mucosa is surprisingly resistant to puncture. See for instance, people who eat pica.

wikipedia article

People with this disorder have been known to eat broken glass, plastic bits, nails, screws, washers, metal jacks (from the children's game), rubber, clay, chalk, wood, pretty much anything that can be eaten (physically) has been reported in the history of the disorder as having BEEN eaten at some point.

Normally, flat glass is not terribly dangerous, as the damaged tissue can dislodge the foriegn debris and seal with normal blood coagulation. The reason feeding crushed lightbulbs to people and animals is due to the curved nature of the glass shards, which undercut into the flesh, then mechanically bind up, and can't be expelled, so the would doesn't heal. This causes increased locallized inflamation, cytotoxic shock, and death.

If you want to kill someone steathfully, adding powdered ricin in their food is better than glass considerably, as it takes time for someone to die from ricin exposure.  It works by gumming up the works, essentially. It inhibits normal protein synthesis, leading to multiple organ system failure from metabolic collapse. I understand the process is viciously unpleasant. Itself being an isolated protein from the castor bean plant, the redined poison is a weakly soluble offwhite powder, which is easy to administer, having very little if any flavor or odor.

If you insist on nasty stabbiness in the innards though, fine particles of abspestos sprinked into food and drink over several days or weeks will do it, sooner or later.  Abspestos forms microscopic needles with a somewhat serrated surface aspect. The fibers puncture flesh, are/can be like nanoscopic syrenge needles, and are small enough to puncture cell walls, swirl around cellular neuclei, and permit cellular cytoplasm to leak out of cells, killing them. It will cause necrotic lesions and precancerous neoplasms to grow inside the gastric system with persistent administration. The fibers can become permanently lodged in the tissues, causing spreading, horrible pathogenesis.

iocane powder.  i stake my life on it.
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Goblin Fortress (NOW UPDATED FOR 34.02!
magma on his bed when he is sleeping, works every time

Oliolli

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1582 on: April 18, 2012, 07:04:13 am »

But no - The fence idea is great. Better yet, plant bushes through there beforehand - makes for very attractive cover. Who would take the road to attack someone if they could sneak through the bushes? Plus, if it was overgrown enough, nobody would want to go in there anyway, if you lived in the fort. What you'd do is have a small team of people laying the mines and keeping track on a map of where they are (that's our engineers (okay, maybe large group)). That way there's no trouble with communication from everyone laying their own mines (imagine someone pointing and proudly saying "and that's my mine. I laid it" and then someone walking past and blowing up), and we get the mines in there without having to mark them visibly. Minefields are a go - if you exercise caution and don't let everyone and their uncle work on them.

I was also thinking something along these lines. Areas where only authorized people (the engineer corps) are allowed to travel, with very detailed maps about the locations of any and all mines. Bushes and overgrowth are also good ideas.



<<Part4
I told you I'd get to it...
So, for starters I had to get oriented with the fort, of course. Checking my own dorf, I found that "Oliolli" in this game is female, and was apprently romantically involved with Urist Da Vinci O_o Also has a grudge against Kenpoaj.
Looking through the other forumites, it seems quite a few of us are already in a relationship. I suppose I can ignore these in the narrative.


Still not understanding what had been going on here, you continue your journey into the darkness of the fort. Reading everything that has been going on in the fort has made you slightly dizzy... or at least you hope that reading these things was what caused it. Engravings continue to cover the walls, and laptops and the such are becoming extremely rare.

It takes you some time before you run across another patch of text covering the walls. Blowing the dust away and raising your torch, you begin reading.


Spoiler (click to show/hide)



I know it's quite short, but re-checkign my timetable, I'm not sure if I have the time for this. Also, as I said, I'm quite poor at narrative, so I had to work solely based on what happened in the game. I had promised to do something though, so I had to make at least one entry. If anyone else has the time and willingness, they may go on in my stead.
« Last Edit: April 18, 2012, 09:27:17 am by Oliolli »
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Quote from: Girlinhat
When all you've got is an adjustable spanner and an entire freight warehouse of terrifying cogs and gears, everything looks like "just a prototype".
Quote from: ThatAussieGuy
You all turned Swordthunders into a bastion of madness that seems to warp in on itself under its own hatred of sanity.  I'm so happy!
Quote from: Loud Whispers
drowning babies everywhere o-o

Talvieno

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1583 on: April 18, 2012, 05:44:06 pm »

Hey, it was pretty good! I enjoyed reading it.

So... Now we've broken into the caverns... I fear for the fortress. lol

EDIT:
@RAKninja - right idea, wrong powder. Vizzini started laughing when it took effect, and then died (sadly) because of an overdose. Maybe this'll explain it better.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: April 18, 2012, 05:47:31 pm by Talvieno »
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Talvieno ... seems to be able to smash out novella-length tales on demand

nekronuke

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1584 on: April 18, 2012, 07:43:31 pm »

yet another stealthy way of killing.

Urist Mchauler has canceled haul Giant Cave Spider Venom barrel, job item misplaced
Urist Mchauler has been found dead, suffocated
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Corai

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1585 on: April 18, 2012, 08:08:37 pm »

GET YOUR BONEMEAL HERE, 2 GOLD A BONEMEAL! FRESH ELVEN BONEMEAL! THAT DOES NOT MEAN ITS MADE BY ELVES. ELVEN BONEMEAL HERE!
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1586 on: April 18, 2012, 08:13:22 pm »

I'm afraid that only elves will eat it little kobold....

(Pat pat)

Needs to be fresh delicious kitten, puppy, or cow. Dwarves have eat sapient:unthinkable.

Now, if you had "super giant kudzu vines from a savage evil biome for sale! Spread in elven retreats for the lulz!", now you're talkin.
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Corai

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1587 on: April 18, 2012, 08:14:50 pm »

I'm afraid that only elves will eat it little kobold....

(Pat pat)

Needs to be fresh delicious kitten, puppy, or cow. Dwarves have eat sapient:unthinkable.

Now, if you had "super giant kudzu vines from a savage evil biome for sale! Spread in elven retreats for the lulz!", now you're talkin.

I thought bonemeal makes stuff grow. I didnt know it was edible.


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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Cellmonk

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1588 on: April 18, 2012, 08:18:14 pm »

I'm afraid that only elves will eat it little kobold....

(Pat pat)

Needs to be fresh delicious kitten, puppy, or cow. Dwarves have eat sapient:unthinkable.

Now, if you had "super giant kudzu vines from a savage evil biome for sale! Spread in elven retreats for the lulz!", now you're talkin.

I thought bonemeal makes stuff grow. I didnt know it was edible.

Oh god....
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wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #1589 on: April 18, 2012, 08:18:57 pm »

Boiled, it can be made into soup base, and gelatin.

(My cooking fettish is showing...)
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