Edit: I.. guess I'll start my turn and stuff?
3rd Hematite 104 Well, shit. I spilled half my bourbon trygin to open it.
Thi s is what happened when you don't have a proper bottle openjer, I guess. Anyways, taking a look over the fort. Seems like a lot of people are tantruming and keas are stealing a lo0t of valuabe shit. Fucking keas. I should probably make sure we have some marskwarves/hunters to deal with that nonsense.
Ummm, some farmer just went berkserk. Lovely. She';s muscuslar too, which might make her slightlyu more dfangerous. Do we have miliatary yet? I should probably hecheck that.
Looks like the berskerker is headed for our main stairway... the only soldier who isn't busy picking up equppment is Objective, who's a marksdwarf, apparenetly. You can do eet! I activiated our two squads, must resist urge to turn everyone into soldiers...
spoiller=Helgoland trakes down the berskerker with a single crossbow shot, immediately begins sghouting for help]
/spoilerUmmm okjay then. In other news I am apparently sober enough to post screenshots, I sjoduld probablty try to fix that. Cracked open another beer!
...Yeah, helgo decided to run away once his quryy was unconscious o the floor. Good going, Helg0o!
At least her leg is broken so she'll probably die pretty soon before she can hurt anyone...
spoiler=In other news: I am one sexy thang!]
/spoilerAlso dat perwsonality seems somewhat like mine IRL. I thibok. THINK. Ayway, let's get back to killiong people.
Okaaaay, 'Sandeigo' (sic) is reepatedly peunching the uncounscious 'serker in the head. Hopefull y they will die soon so I can actually dpo other stuff.
4th Hematine 104 Oh ehy, we have aq kbold thief show up as well. I send the second squad out to dewal with that whilst San Diego kjeeps pounchigng the 'sleker's head in.
E: everyonje is piling onto the berseker farmer but only bruising the muscle in their head. I think on that note I will finish my beer...
FUCK YUEAH THIS IS HOW THE YOINK DOES BIDNESS]
Gonna set the first squad to go kill kobold thief now, then go take a leak... I'[lll leave the fort running tsince that seems to be in the spiurit (pun not intended!) of things
Okay thes cunts re cancelling jobs 'cause they're "horrified" or "exeriencing emotional shock"/
Tha's like, worse than MY excuses. GET BACK TO WORK YOU LAZY BASTARD!
In other n3ews, Objective and Gri Triffle seem to be riddling the kobold with boklts... Yay!
Also: said kobold seems to be stuck in a tree. And Triffle has wandered off to "attend meeting", apparently.
ALSO ALSO I'm gonna chuck this whole thingy into a spoiuler right now, since it's getting kinda long and I should probbably do this before I get to drunk to do so!
Edit... Acutually no, on second thoughts that is a terrible idea. I've still already posted so many spoilers and images that trying to spoilemrthe whole thing would fuck things yup. Apologies in advance for the mess
I guess he lost lhis appetitte?]
Okay, time to actuaslly look around the fort nd soee If I can spot any glaring porblems. I doubt it, but tstill!
Saved the game real quickl just incase shananigans happen.
Despite this snsible ancition I am most defninitely drunk.... if I were to talkm to someone in this satue I would probably slur horrib;y and drool over them. Good stuff! I'm alwamost sfinishedf my beer, d too!
Just noticed my dorf has poor creaticity nd "little natural inclination towars music".
LAME.
Oh well, at least she'/I'm training.. althgough an individual combat drill is les than ideal. Dang.
20th Hemtatinete 104 Setting Kamin's tomb as Kamin;s tomb, since it doesn;t seem to be set as asuch... I should probably build one for myself...
Also Sandeigo shot the kobold in the upper lip with a biolt and Aussie Winter feelll out of a tree. DAMNIT AUSSIE WHAT YOU DOINHG
..Okay serisously putting thins in a spoiler now, since it looks ugly as FUCK. ignore broken spoiler tags, I'll probably fix thise tomorrw.
22nd Hematie O... I ust had a baby. O_________O
On that note, I gotta go pee. BRB, leaving the fort tunning.
...Looks ,like anothjert batch of thieving keas ahave arrived. Fortunately a couple of them crash-lanmded and died.
Whoever thios 'Swonn' guy is heseems to be rather good at beating the shit out pof pesky birsds. Just punched a keas head into gfotre. GORE.
Yay Swonn!
26th Hemiatite 104 All the keas seem to be lurking around, far up in the air so we can;t kill them... I don't feel comfortable having the little fuckers on the bmap at all.
Looks like I just finished my beer, guess I'll opknen another one. I have to do two 'springs' worth of playu , right?
FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO KILL AL THE KEAS?!?!?! ARRRGHHH
...All of our workshops o are out in the open. Isn't that kind of uncoool for dwarves?
Maybe I'll build some new ones underground, or at least give these r ones wallsn and a roof.
6th Malachite We seem to hve some bridges set up at the netracne, but I don't klnow if they have levers attached, or whdere said levers may be...
7th Malacthire Ohshit, Shoruke's kid just got possessed... hope your kid soesn't die, Shroeruke!
E: Oh okay,l he has bugun a mysterious construction. Yay!
It'll probabklty be a piece of rubbish thogugh, since I only saw the kid grab one piece of bone, form the buthcer's worksghipo.
Sh Stillm better than losing someone, though.
Tiem for pee. Leaving the game running.
Uh, yheah. Good job, Shoruke's kid.
Huh, there's spo,me orphan kid lying in bed with a broken arm. Not sure qwyuqite what his story is... ,maybe he'll grow up sto be some sort of badass! Or more likely die. ANyway I set some more traps to be made arodund the entrance, now I'm gonna go grab a sandwich Since I'm kinda gerbnrhy.... HUNGRY.
25th Malachite MIGRAAAAAANTS
Led by an 'adequate' animal trainer... lovely.
I'm tryoihg typing too good, gonna sculll this beer and open a new pone whilst creening these migrants. Screening.
E: They don't seem all that useleess... apart from the s2wamr of children. -_-
At least some of the kids are 11 or 12 years dfold... what age do they beckome uselful at, again?
Ergh, Told a bvunch of people tomine, no-one's doingb it.... do we really on;ly have one miner?!
10th Galenga 104POur hunter (the new gy) just shot a skunk in the head.... yeah I'm sure that will feed a lot of people.
Also Helgoloand's kind is apparently crawliong around with a rboken spine? ummmmmmmmmmmmm.
E: It eseems that epoeple are still falling out of trees or something. -_-
Decided to satrtv digging out some more rooms and stuff. GToing to make a nice big dining room and give myself some iopulent quarters while I'm at it.
Here's a shot of the work in progress, with Siquo breakingf his back digging it all oiut...
There really isn';t much excitigng stuff happening... I'm going to go get a nother peanut butter + vegemite sandwich.
I guess I should strat working on stuff like building more rooms and coffins and traps and stuff. Also drinkming more beer,this on'e salmost finished.
25th Galena 104 So uh, I was just in the processs of making mysef the expedition leader when we suddenlyb elected this giuy s as mayor...
He seems kinda crazy if you ask me, but oh well I guess he gtot the votes.
I have a steel shortsword, who nmeeds a governe,mnt positio?!
27th Gaklnena Oh shit, some ghostly dude name 'cuenturion' has apparently risen to haiunt us.
Sapparently ghe got ate by that ewregoat someone mentiuoned... time to build some slabs I guess, hopefully before he hurts anyone.
Oh noooooo [/sarcasm]
8th Limestone 104 Goood to see Km amin and a couple of pothers (including the new mayor!) are out hunting.
Goging to make sure we have plenty of butcher workshops and kitchen s to make sure wqothinhg goes to waste.
****INSERT SCREENSHOT HERE****
I can't access Imgure at the moment for some reason,. but some kid njust punched a groundhiog's head into gibs. gj kiddo.
Oh, it's the mayor's kid; even beeter.
Also, the outpost liason a d caravan just showed up. We were supposoed to be t be tradign blocks, right?Pretty sure I made sone blocks earlier on...
17th Limetsone 104 O dear, it loks like Triffles fell out of a treaa and exploded his/her hand ionto gibs... that's not good, they''re one f our best hunteres. D:
Merchants are at the de;pot too, but Wrexie is preoccupied digging, Guess I might disable that labour for a littlen while so we can get some tradign done. Also the su came up a while ago IRl, so maybbn eit's time for some breakfast... and another beer
28th Limestone 204Tradrr's being a dickbga and not giving me all this stuff I want despite all the lovely blocks i'm offering him... also some kid had been missing for a week. According to the combat long said kid feell out of a tree (I'm gueissing) and usstained minor injuriess... not sure if that's enough to kill someone but who the hell knows.
Cooking breakfast and about to crack open my last beer... probably ponlt going to finish RD's year,. since I don't really hve enough booze to keepn myself drunk for that much longer.
DSamnit Chaosvolt, why you gotta go bringing food ito our room and them forgettign about it?!
A few other people seem to have d0one it as well... some fpoor fuckers's gonnma have to clewan up this mess.
2nd Sandstone 104 Oh hye , more migrants... porrt fools.
Can't bne arsed actually checking ewhat they a;l;l do, they'll all be dead before long anyway so who cars.
No idea thwat that means. O.o
Oh well, I just discovered ta rad band called Turnstile. Youtuube playlists are good for something after all,!
Going throuhg trade agreements etc. with the outpost liason. I think I'll scull my beer... I'm not nearly driunk enough. >.>
Okay, so the mountainhome wants short swords, wooden toys, large gems, split s and amulets.... 
22nd SandstoneWelp, there's not alm that much going gon just now... I'm trying to build a working hopsital before the end of the year (as well as my fancy quarteres!) but there's really not much eiting stuff going on. My last beer is almosn t finished, too.
5th Timer 104Spmeone just dropped their baby down the main stairwell and it epxloded...\
Actually I thinkm it was a grown child. no Idea why it decided to epxlode on the stairs. O.o
24th Timber ....Welll, we have a new Mayor. The ol,md one went insnane. >_>
Sorry guys, I kinda
passed out fell asleep. Came back later to see this:
Oh shit. I made it to the 5th of Moonstone though, so at least I almost finished my turn, I guess?
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Topic: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [We Hath Become Death, the Destroyers of Worlds] (Read 1335657 times)