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[nenjin]

edit: ah.

lol. This perfectly sums up my reaction. If you've read the Ameripol thread for any length of time in the last couple years, you are Jack's Complete Lack Of Surprise. That dance couldn't go on forever.

[zhijinghaofromchina]

The three poor guys got a ban , seemingly they are'' rest in peace ''in a digital way , which really upsets me.

Deeply frustrated by the disgusting clinical words, they are long , ugly and obscure , making it difficult to understand , every day seems like filled with endless deadlines , now I am just waiting for the vacation on the April 1 to April 5 during when I can company my family , enjoy homemade delicious meals , communicate with my friend using the common dialect and more importantly , celebrate my little brother's 10th birthday.

[None]

It's better this way.

--

I have a bit of a problematic crush on someone. I'm old enough to have yearned, ached, and been burned to make an unmanageable issue of it, but one does not simply walk alongside a cliff without the mind whispering the unthinkable, right? It's not problematic in a gross way, but in a 'friend and friend group' sort of way, especially with current timing. The fallout would be.... cataclysmic.

On a brighter node, I'm mildly upset by something else!

In the wake of my flight from my last life in Albuquerque, I picked up tarot. Started collecting decks I thrifted, learning to read the cards. Objectively, I know it's all made-up hindsight bias interpretive bullshit, but I'm still pulling a daily card while journaling (it got me journaling, so that's good!), reading books on doing reads, wishing I could read the cards for other people, reading a spread about the problematic crush's current relationship with frightening accuracy, yadda yadda. I'm mildly upset that I'm in so deep on a card game and surrounding mysticism, but dammit I'm enjoying it.

I also have nobody to gush to about it because I keep rational company and this is not rational!

[nenjin]

The Tarot is fun. The Occult is fun. To a degree. You need to stay grounded in reality when dealing with it. It becomes too easy to start going down paths literally no one else can follow you on.

In college I got the religion beat for my journalism courses. So I decided to do a story on the Kabbalah, or Jewish mysticism. One of my favorite quotes was "the Kabbalah is for married men only, who have real, grounded responsibilities to return to when they're not studying it."

Good luck with your crush. I think you know enough to see it for what it is.

[None]

Hah, I had a passing interest in occultism in my early twenties- chaos magick was fun, but clearly reality won out in the end. It's fun to flirt with. Worst it's got now is that I carry a deck around on most occasions (I found an attractive knapsack that goes with my jacket and it holds a tablet, journal, book or two, etc), and I definitely needed to set a little whiskey out for the weed gremlins that kept misplacing my paraphernalia, but y'know, nothing with gravitas.

I'll keep the flirting to the cards and reality to my interpersonal relationships, yeah? Heaven forbid Bay12 watch me make another romantic disaster, ahah.