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Singing and dancing and other peaceful forms of- pfffhahahah

4 (15.4%)

Ablative meat armour

1 (3.8%)

Arena fights against wildlife

5 (19.2%)

Arena fights against each other

3 (11.5%)

Arena fights against troll wereelks

12 (46.2%)

Something else...

1 (3.8%)

Total Members Voted: 26

[NRDL]

I absolutely adore the accent. 

[Sanctume]

Dig, dig, dig. Snacktome dig, en dig.  Ahh, cavern. I like crundle bones.

[Shofet]

I have a few questions. Can you assign uniforms to trolls? What kind of jobs do they do, the same ones as children?

[QuQuasar]

"Oi, boss. More recruits incoming. An' they gots kids with 'em, too."

What're the idiots finkin? What use're their kids gonna be in a war camp?

"I dunno. Siege ammo?"

An how we's gonna get enuff meat to feed a bunch o' kids out 'ere anyway? Bloody hell. Worse than useless, that's what this is.




What the hell's goin on over there? Aw shit, is one o' the newbies startin' fights already?



Oi, Shul-nak, Stosbub! What the hell do you you pair o' ogre's testes think yer doin'?



Stop it! I SAID STOP-



Oh that's not good. Stosbub, get the fuk outta here. No, shuddup, I don't care what 'e said to ya.

Oi, Shul-nak? Shul-nak, you alive? Wake up yer bag o' bones, you can't die yet. Everyone else here is a shit carpenter!



Do you need me to drag your sorry arse to the hospital room?



No? You can make it yerself? Alright, good, 'cause I have other important matters to see to.




OOC

So... apparently goblins spontaneously become enraged and start fights, even when they're reasonable happy? And seek out the currently most-valuable dwarf in the fortress to do so?

That'll be entertaining!


Oi, Nix! Youse a butcher, you know what the inside of animals looks like, right?

"Yeah?"

Go see if you can help Shul-nak. He was coffin' blood last time I seens 'im.


Youse know what? I reckon we's done enough grunt work fer now. Us seven's gonna start trainin' fer killin' dwarves now an' let the newbies pick up the slack.


THE FUK IS THAT THING?



... and can we's eat it?


OOC:

IN THE FIRST YEAR? IT'S NOT EVEN WINTER YET!

So now we get to find out what happens when 23 completely untrained goblins (and 2 trolls) with the bare minimum of equipment (leather and bone armours, with a few iron helms. They do at least have iron weapons) take on a wereelk. Taking bets!

[Shűl-nak]

Here is a leather-bound journal.  It menaces with crude wooden studs and blotches of dried blood. Overall the writing is poor, but the diagrams of wooden traps & furniture are excellent.

Urist McCarpenter's Journal SHUL - NAK iz best carpintur

Entry I

DA BOSS got me snoozin in ospittle for me busted chest-breff fing
dat STOSBUB ARSEFAC iz DED when i owns da place, ya red it ere furst
                                   
EVERYWUN KNOWS WUD IS BETTER N STONE, AN' IT PISSES OFF ELVZ WHEN YA CHOPPEM
an me ma alwayz sed i was da best at makin impalin stix an she wud know, hehehahhahah

Here there is a spattering of dried goblin blood.

Will Nix's butchery skills be enough to save our... fair hero?
Will the were-elk tie the moose around Thunderdoom's fledgling neck?
All this and more in the next instalment!

Nice job on the architecture, by the way. Fitting of our goblin friends.

[Klitri]

PTW, perhaps a legend is in progress.

Particularly going to enjoy goblins being enraged from arguments and going ballistic!

[Dozebôm Lolumzalěs]

Ahahha gaggghhhahhha this is the best.

(Goblin choking sounds btw)

[QuQuasar]

Youse lot 've all heard the stories, right? Talk of the monster what lives up in the mountains! Ana Gearedwinter, the hoary thunder of whips. Half elf, half elk. An elfk!



They say 'e's immortal, and has lived since the dawn of time! They say 'e tears men to shreds and decorates 'is antlers with their entrails! They say 'e's killed nine in 'is lust for murder! They say he specifically targets goblins, like us, cos he was originally Turned by one!



An now 'e's comin', right down the mountain straight for us! But youse know wot I say, right? I say, y' can eat elk! Tastes like venison. So's I say, if it comes our way, we's finds out for ourselves what wereelk tastes like! Right? RIGHT!

Everyone to the staging grounds! We'se gonna have us an elkfunt... an elfkunt... ekfunt... elephant? GODDAMMT STOP LAUGHIN'. Youse all know wot we's doin! We's gonna hunt an elk wot is also an elf!




Aw shit, Nako and Ngebzo are still up where we been mining out the cliff?



Forget the staging ground then, we've gotta get up there! We's missin' all the action!




That sounded like Nako's screamin'! Get yer arses in gear! Move, move!




Ngebzo?


Quox



Shit. It's gone quiet up there. That's a cryin' shame that is.

"Cos dey're dead?"

Cos they're dead an' we didn't get to see how they died! Wot if one of em died in a really funny way, an' we missed it? I'm tellin' ya, we'll get up there, an' one of 'em will have this dumb look on 'is dead face, like "I died in a way you would have loved to have seen, and now ya never will". Those douchebags.

"I... guess?"

Tell you what, if it gets youse, you make sure youse die in a way that makes for a really funny story next drinkin' night, okay? Like, pissin' yer pants or screamin' like a little baby-



"RRRRAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!"



[GRAB] *CRACK*

SWEET MOTHER OF GOZRU! THE PAIN! IT HURT'S!! THE PAAAAIIIIINNN!!!

[Quox faints]


Darx

"Haha, good advise boss, dat is pretty funny! Oi, antlers! Take dis- whoa!"



"Darx! Get back, 'e's too tough for you!"

"Nah, I got 'im! Take dis, you- oof! Daaammitt I'm gonna kill y-"



[GRAB]

"... oh. Dis is going to hurt, isn't it?"



*SNAP*

"AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!

[Darx faints]


Rupdeus

"Incoming!" [combat roll]



"Get back ya' monster! I said back!"



"Yeah you better run! Ago, you're up!"

Ago Scorpionbaits
(War beak dog, pet of Rupddeus)

"Go on! Get 'im, girl! Take out 'is legs so 'e can't get away!"

"SQUARRRK!"



"SKRRARK!"

"Ago! No!"



"You bastard! YOU BASTARD I'LL KILL YAH! I'LL FUKKIN' KILL YAH!!!"




Nix and Vuohijumala

[Thump]
[Thump]
[Thump]
[Thump]



[Thump]
[Thump]
[Thump]
[Thump]


Shofet
(Stray Troll, male)

RRRAARRRGH!! <"En guarde, foul beast! You shall not triumph this day.">



RUUUGGGHH??!!?! <"Oh my! I appear to have made an unfortunate error in judgement.>



"UUURRRAAAAGGGGH!!!! RAAARGH!! ARGH!! AARGH!! AAARRRRGH!" <"This is excruciatingly painful.">

[Shofet faints]


Stotukusbu
(Stray Troll, female)

(Shofet's wife and mother of his child)

RRRRR? RRRAAARRRR! <"Dearest husband! Your hand is missing! What tragedy has befallen you?">

RAAAAAARRGGGHHHH!!! <"Wereelk. You bit my husband's hand off. For that you will suffer my eternal wrath. I will end you now, and pursue you for eternity across nine thousand hells in the afterlife. The pain my husband suffers is terrible, but it will be as motes of dust in the eyes of the Great One in comparison to the torment I will impose upon you. Feel the blade of my axe!">



RRAAAAAHHHH!!!!! <"Your time is at an end, Ana Gearedweather the Hoary Thunder of Whips. Begone now from this world.">



RAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! <"Victory is mine. In recognition of this feat, I take the name Stotukusbu, "Wordyevil" in the tongue of my ancestors.">

RRRRRR? <"Now where the fuck is my child?">




Casualties of the Rampage of Ana Gearedweather the Hoary Thunder of Whips in Thunderdoom, Year 250:

Nako Bluefell - DEAD. Struck down.
Ngebzo Stopghouls - DEAD. Struck down.
Ago the Beak Dog, pet of 'Rupdeus' - DEAD. Bled out immediately after the battle.
Arstruk Ringedwiked - BITTEN. Head torn open.
'Shofet' the Stray Troll - BITTEN. Left hand torn off. Left foot mangled. Left ankle mangled.
'Quox' Stuntsfiend - UNCONSCIOUS. Left knee mangled
'Darx' Menacedsyrups - UNCONSCIOUS. Right foot, two toes broken. Right shoulder mangled
Bosa the Beak Dog, pet of 'Quox' - First toe, right paw bitten off.
Metalsmiths Forge - Toppled
Stray Troll Baby - Mentally scarred for life

[Rupdeus]

Hell yeah, I survived.

[NRDL]

^ My sentiments exactly.

At what point was the were elk knocked out? 

[QuQuasar]

^ My sentiments exactly.

At what point was the were elk knocked out?

It wasn't: those combat logs are taken from the individual's being highlighted, rather than from the werebeasts log. Those all-blue logs all come from the second half of the fight, where it was knocked down after being hit in the head by Wordyevil's great axe and distracted by shredding Ago the Beak Dog.


So that was fun! I'm trying to get both Shofet and Arstruk out of the hospital before they become werebeasts. Arstruk wasn't a problem and I've already locked him in a small room, but Shofet is taking forever to heal.

Water is more urgent than ever, so I'm trying to get the well finished. Unfortunately, everyone's wounds were cleaned with murky water, so there's a good possiblity we may yet lose Darx or Quox to infection. Other than that, we've reached winter. I'll try to finish up tomorrow: I'd hoped to put everyone to training for the last month or two, but this attack threw me for a loop.

Unfortunately they're not butchering the wereelk, even though it's in the refuse pile next to the butcher shop and I've queued up a "butcher a dead animal" job. This makes me very sad.

[Rupdeus]

Just noticed my pet died 
Will Rupdeus get a new one?

[QuQuasar]

NON-CANON!

Can confirm: trolls can become werebeasts. This is what happens if you don't get Shofet safely imprisoned in time...

[Shofet]

I would like to volunteer for the last watch, down in the caverns.

That was great. I especially liked your interpretation of troll speach. Can trolls wear armor?

[Vuohijumala]

I just noticed today that this has gone forward. We had a first year werebeast in Murderflood too, also one of my forts received a werecreature on the first year. It seems they are quite common nowadays.. Well, atleast my character made it through the initial encounter. That last picture on the other hand isn't very assuring..

This is looking awesome. I'd also like a turn! Although I'm not sure if I can speak proper gobbo, but I'll figure out something.