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[MrGimp]

(This update includes some movies.  Heres the first two.  I had to break it into two parts to fit the archives size requirements.  The second movie is basically just a death scene.  Well...the entire thing is a death scene.  But you get the idea.)

http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1131-arena1

http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1132-arena2

After you watch the videos, click the spoiler you oversized beardless surfacedwellers!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Urist announced a special presentation to be held in the new gladiator pit theater.  There were several dining halls overlooking the spectacle, and many dwarves attended the show.

Mayor Morul and Mafol the Clerk stood helplessly in the center of the arena.  Behind the glass walls of this cavern there clamored many a dwarf, banging on the glass as the steel gates were lowered.  Out flooded Mudmen, lizardmen and snakemen.  Three entire types of men...and not one of them friendly!

Morul's cowardice consumed him, and he ran.  But amazingly, the little clerk Mafol charged headlong and barefisted into battle.  He kept his honor and dignity, but he fell nonetheless.  The dwarves cheered and clamored for more.

The Mayor was trapped, so he charged into battle.  The citizens of Blockedlance cried out for their heroic champion, whom they had voted for afterall, and cheered as he beat down several mudmen and snakemen.  But alas...he too was struck down.

Snakemen still roamed, so obviously, it was hammer time.

http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1130-hammertime

The doors were unlocked to the hammerer's pen.  Hysterically, the tax collector was the first one out.  He wanted to take advantage of the clerks death, and get his hands on those nice giant cave spider silk socks hed had his eyes on.  Hey, he wanted to feel special just once before he died alright?

Anyways.  Immediately the tax collector realized his mistake and ran for cover.  The audience booed loudly, as they REALLY wanted to see the tax collector eat it.  But sadly, the coward ran behind the hammerer, who happily crushed the snakemen's skulls in.  And so the Dukes tax man survived...but not for long...

[LegoLord]

Why is the hammerer always so tough?

[Christes]

hey, it's back!

[MrGimp]

Thank you my adoring fans, yes, thank you all!     

Christes - Hell yeah its back, but was it ever truly gone from our hearts?  Well...it probably was...but now its back damnit!  Thats the important thing!

LegoLord - It probably has something to do with Freudian social constructs and the oppressive nature of authority.  Plus the guy has a big friggin hammer.

Jackrabbit - I was reading the hall of legends earlier today and I saw that you had nominated this story!  Damn man, right on!  Now I feel bad for having given it up, hahaha   


On my bearded testicles, this I vow: though the story may have starts and stops, and though the plot may have several gaping holes in it, the story of the great Urist Salvedangers WILL be told!!!

[Jackrabbit]

Woot!

[MrGimp]

Summer 216



While the great death pit was getting its first test run, trapped goblin merchants were attacked by their insane pack animals.



The goblins never stood a chance against this Gotarstruk chick.  I like to just call her Gutterstruck, but to the goblins, she will always be known as Necrodemons - the Donkey of Death!

Oddly...Necrodemons was pregnant, and is now producing a line of goblo-donkeys that I do not own and cannot butcher.  Maybe I should just leave em in there to take care of future merchant problems?



Oh and in other news, Queen Urist has constructed a giant windmill system that channels power to the lower depths.  When asked why, Urist replied "We're dwarves damnit!"

[MrGimp]

Sic Semper Tyrannis!!!



The tool of the capitalist Duke had taken to hiding in the recesses of the death pit.  One day, not long after the arena fight, he awoke to find two caged lizardmen in his room. 



To his horror but not too much to his surprise, the cages popped open and out rushed the berserk lizard creatures.

Monom Oarlight was chased around his room and beaten over the head.



Now Monom slaves for Armok in the sky.

[MrGimp]

Autumn 216



The Duke barged into Urist's throne room while she was in the massive hall getting drunk all by herself.

"You psychopath!  You slaughtered the entire nobility!"

Two guards stepped into the throne room from outside, and blocked the Duke from getting further.

"I didn't slaughter them all yet.  You're still alive.  Though I don't know if I would call you 'noble'"

"This is madness!!!  I'm not going to just let you sit here and kill us all!" cried the Duke.

"Oh...my dear Duke.  What are you going to do about it?  You should have made your move long ago...I think you realize that now, yes?"  Urist smiled cruelly as the Duke's face remained snarled.  "The military does not support you.  The mayor and clerk are dead and cannot sway them OR the peasants.  Your tax collector is dead, your revenues are cut off.  Your hammerer is MY tool to command now.  Your power is gone, and there is no one that supports you."

"You bitch!"  The Duke spit at Urist, but she sat too far away on her throne.  Urist laughed.

"Before you die, I just want you to know one thing.  Your wife hates you.  She helped me seize the hammerer from you.  Without her, this never would have happened.  Without her soothing your paranoia every night, stalling your plans, well...we might be standing in different positions here today, wouldnt we?"

"ARGGHHHHH!!!!!"  The Duke tried to leap at Urist, but the guards tackled him.

"To the death pit!" the Queen ordered.  The guards forcefully grabbed the Duke, and dragged him - kicking and screaming - down the hallway.

[MrGimp]

Chapter #4 - Kiss the Ring

Queen Urist had eradicated all of her opposition in one fell swoop, just like the Godfather.

The only potential threat now was the Dukes heir, Mafol Sabretwilights.



However, the Duchess so far had been loyal, and this child is too young and wont remember his father when hes older.  He will not have his father poisoning his ears against the rightful queen.  Besides, if Urist killed Mafol, the Duchess would have to be killed too.  Right now, Urist wasnt ready to go that far.

Another possible problem was the new mayor the people had spontaneously elected.



He was friends with both the old mayor AND the old clerk before they died.  Does he hold any resentment towards the Queen?  We shall see.



In other news, my fortress is scaring people away with all the noble killings.

Come on...if a bunch of nobles kept dying somewhere, thats the place Id want to be.



Oh well, we're full anyways.  We dont want you soapmakers.

[MrGimp]

The hammerer is starting to crack.  I guess hes not as tough as he seems.  Maybe he carries around that big hammer as overcompensation for other smaller things?

Anyways, the year 216 ended without much more craziness.



We killed some more trees.



And then we began the construction of a gigantic edifice, that will one day be the Temple of Ber Steelearthen!  It shall be a monument to overwhelmingly complicated engineering projects of underwhelmingly insignificant importance!  Dwarves from all over Sil Gomath will one day flock to make pilgrimages to this great site.

[MrGimp]

Okay its spring of 217, I have finally caught the story up to where Im at in the game. 

So if anyone wants I can give out military dwarves.  I got axemen and marksdwarves.  Thats all I ever use, so deal with it!  Blockedlance isnt a democracy!   

But yeah...I have a feeling its going to get really violent really soon...the military dwarves will get to see a lot of action.  Be the first to grab a dwarf and hope he survives till the end of the story (he probably wont).

[LegoLord]

I'll take a marksdwarf.  Are you going to cross-train them with hammers?

[Jackrabbit]

Axes are the dwarven way to go! I'll take one!

[MrGimp]

Since you guys were first, I gave you the best marksdwarf and axedwarf in Blockedlance.  Sorry if the genders dont match.  Im gonna go out on a limb and assume that 95% of DF players are men.  So Jackrabbit, well just pretend your character is male.  Which shouldnt be a problem unless your character gets pregnant...that would be odd.   

All hail Jackrabbit Spireknife, the Brutal Square of Problems!





Your almost completely legendary, just armor user needs a bit more experience.  Theres your kills there.  Lots of Kobolds and dark gnomes.  Your guy came in early to the fortress, like the first or second migrant wave.  Im pretty sure you and Fikkod Inodzoz came in on the first wave with Queen Cog.  You two were my stockpile guards and got legendary titles after you killed a bunch of dark gnomes.


And LegoLord, your guy is my legendary elite marksdwarf squadleader. 

All Hail LegoLord Twoarches, the Natural Spite of Messiahs!





Thats a fine title you have.  Your god is the god of silence, and youre his spiteful messiah.  Or maybe people are spiteful OF you, for being the silent messiah of a strange god?  Either way, you killed a bunch of goblins.  I think your dude is in some of the earlier screenshots.  You also killed 'the donkey' in 212.  Awesome.

[LegoLord]

That seems appropriate, especially since I role-play as the high priest of LEGO on the Stark Raving Mad thread in Various Nonsense.