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[Shurikane]

Torchclouts - Slate 222

Insisted that the group strike the earth on a nearly desolate plain near the southern ocean.  I order the miner to dig straight down.

Encountered an aquifer.  No biggie.  It was to be expected.  I move everyone into the dug pit and channel the only way out.

I get the idea to kill them all as quickly as possible.

TIME TO FAIL

I order the miner to dig due east, thereby piercing into the ocean and unleashing the deadly stream towards himself and his compatriotes.  Needless to say, he is pushed back by the oncoming flow, and I wait as the pit begins to get doused in water.

Finding the process too slow, I order the miner down a level and dig another tunnel.

Curious as to why the pit fails to fill itself up, I explore the surroundings more carefully.  It's only then that I realize I pierced the aquifer rather than touching it.

I FAILED AT FAILING

I figure, if the group is going to get drowned, might as well drain the entire ocean doing it.  I begin the dig of a third tunnel, then change my mind and opt to widen the main shaft a little to allow the aquifer a little bit of breathing room.

The miner digs a channel down, falls into it, and instantly drowns.  The pick is down at the bottom, lost to recovery.

I FAILED AT FAILING AT FAILING

Inexplicably, the dwarves have caught a shad and feasted upon it, as the miasma of their fallen miner comrade began filling the pit.  Sadly, only the upper two layers of the ocean have been gifted with a tunnel, rendering the experience a miserable disgrace even in its attempt to kill itself.  Either I return with a new group and finish the job, or I seek my ultimate failure elsewhere.

But then, I remember the Buddhist mantra:

"If fail is to happen, let it happen properly."

I DRAFT A NEW TEAM!

We approach the ocean and realize the fucker's still full!  I immediately order the miner to dig a new, larger shaft in preparation for an even stronger intake of water.  I figure that ten meters by four will be enough, draft the plans, and hand him his work and penance.  A year has passed but the food in the previous wagon is still good.

Some mermen are spotted on the coast but they avoid the group for now.  Good for everyone.




To be continued...

[Shurikane]

OH GOD I BROKE THE UNIVERSE



I OPENED A BLACK HOLE!  RUN!!  RUN!!!

[smjjames]

huh?

[Jim Groovester]

I think he drained the ocean with an aquifer. At least, the picture is one frame of that happening.

[Shurikane]

At least, the picture is one frame of that happening.

I'll post the second frame on Friday.

If the computer gets there.

[smjjames]

Oh I see, I had posted really late last night and I was tired and so didn't quite get what was going on.

[Shurikane]

Today, I dug two stairways.

That's about it.

God, never drain the ocean with an Athlon 3000.

BUT I'LL DO IT!

I'll find a nice spot in the middle of my dried-out surface, build upon it, make a platform and an access bridge, then seal my black hole.

Underwata, here I come!