May 1, 2013: The May '13 Report is up.News: February 13, 2013: Dwarf Fortress Talk #20 has been posted.News: June 4, 2012: Dwarf Fortress 0.34.11 has been released.News: June 21, 2011: A new Threetoe story has been posted.Forum Guidelines
So I'm a Depressing Jesus Wizard being stalked by Satan Lights, and my home's wiring is going bad?Goddammit.
I honestly think this thing needs to be stickied.
New Character awaits a epic black vs hood black vs straight up black fight!
Vorthon...your avatar.....it's so hypnotic....It also explains catsplosions....
Someone had a youtube link to a little music video of a looping (sort of) vocal segment that was like "Ah-ha-ha-haa-ha-ha-ha-aaa-ha-ha-haa-ah" and the video was a guy in a glass building doing an anime-style blue lightning explosion. It was completely awesome and now I can't find it. PM if you do. I probably won't check this thread again. VICTORIOUS EDIT: YES woo-hoo I found it!
alternately, I could just take some LSD or something...
Freedom of speech is a double-edged sword: You are free to say and think what you like. I may not like it, but I will fight to defend it.
I [may] disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
Never doubt that a small group of people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Perhaps it shall be revealed in his upcoming memoirs, entitled "Mein Kraft" of course.
No. Because people are assholes and love making generalization.
I shall now make a game about an old man walking down the sidewalk.It will be called...The Elder Strolls.
It's Vector, the apocalypse compressed into human form. Help would be like double overkill.
...Don't make me think through my ideas D:
"You get hit where you get hit. This may or may not cripple you for life. It may or may not kill you in one shot. You're dwarf just lost a leg. Suck it up, bitch. No, you're not getting that leg back. In fact, that creature over there is going to pick your leg up and beat you death with it. You won't respawn."
51. Because in no other game can you cut off your enemies arm, pick up said arm, beat enemy to death with said arm, pick up said dead enemy, beat dragon to death with said enemy, pick up said dragon, beat another dragon to death with said dragon, wield said dragon in other hand, you are now dual wielding dragons.
75. My axedwarf just got shot by a single arrow that pierced his arm, lung, pancreas, navel, appendix, and scrotum. He's still fighting, dammit. WHINE SOME MORE ABOUT THAT KNEE, WHY DON'T YOU?
Things go better with applesauce.
Well, shit. This is the stupidest shape shifting power ever.
Nevertheless, fuck you with a horse. Not by a horse, you understand, but with one.
It's not like Google can easily find something specific in the massive amount of data they gather. For that they'd need some kind of highly advanced search engine or som-oh fuck.
Quote from: Akigagak on August 18, 2011, 06:22:09 pmI never knew dick-punching was a super power.Maybe some of her enemies didn't have dicks before she punched them? Or maybe it's the ability to punch any dick, wherever it is?
I never knew dick-punching was a super power.
He's truly the Hemingway of shitposts.
Derp around. Constructively.
I'm the Fuck of FuckIt's my destiny to give a fuck about other people's problems. That's hard for me, because I don't give a fuck. In fact, I am all out of fucks. I stalk the world, looking, waiting, watching for a chance to find a fuck to give a fuck about other people's problems.
She's a woman character in a game; her power is inversely proportional to the amount of clothes she wears on a regular basis. This is how the Great Fairies gained and kept their power in Zelda.
This is the best thread and you guys are the best knitters.
That's right folks, Hussie literately lives off porn and webcomics.
I don't know man, the potential stupidity of the human race knows no bounds.
Nobody is a big enough tool to dress up like a penis with a cape on purpose.
You start flipping out. You flip out so hard that you go all the way around and flip back in.
I have to sacrifice to the Apple God daily else I be smited by a falling tree.
And remember, the Great Deku Tree is always better if you imagine him to be voiced by Samuel L. Jackson.
Everybody becomes robotic dicks.
Welcome to MSPA, where Hussie cashes in on mad boners for rude cash.
[11:43] <Gatleos> Your swag is so filthy it radiates disease
THE GOVERNMENT IS PUTTING BIBLES IN THE WATER SUPPLY.
"So... thirsty!" "Don't do it Urist!" "I'm so, so thirsty" "You can't though! You wont survive!" "I MUST! SO THIRSTY" Urist McPowerThirst has burned to death.
"You're going to wrestle an ettin-- and you think the goblins have a chance?"
but I like to think he did it on purpose. I believe that kobold looked at a burning dagger and said "Yes, I will attack Dwarves with this" and as he began choking on the smoke of his own burning flesh and as he was blinded by clouds of his own boiling fluids he thought "No, this is a good plan" and charged right ahead.
Quote from: Girlinhat on August 13, 2011, 11:07:23 pmEverything I say is sigged. There's no reason to ask if it's ok anymore!Is it ok if I sig this?
Everything I say is sigged. There's no reason to ask if it's ok anymore!
I think this is my new favorite way of dealing with things, throwing crocodiles.
"OH GODS URIST I CAN'T TAKE LOSING JIM, I'm going to kill steven to make it feel better!""OH GODS URIST I CAN'T TAKE LOSING STEVEN!, I'm going to kill rodger to make it feel better!"
If I had a nickle for every kid that wanted to eat nothing but candy and pop for a whole day, I would drown in nickles.
Oh well, no sense stopping perfectly good !!scientific!! sadism just because I know the results.
that's when my turtle reared it's head and Mr. Willie said wazoo, so I took the bald-headed butler to the Grand Canyon to do the latching lucy. I didn't mean to get my gigglestick all womb-ferrety in the cabbage patch, sir.
Why didn't God make Brocoli taste like Chocolate?
You know, I hear there is this major deity who is, according to his own followers, literally plotting to destroy the world and slaughter most of its inhabitants. Some of these followers openly admit that they fully support this plan and would do anything in their power to bring it to fruition.
This just in: Rick Santorum worships Zeus.
And lo, the mistress of magnitude and bearing left on a long journey across the stars.For five interweb days and 4 interweb nights, the Twelve Bays wept in silence.When at last the storm had passed, a great confusion, silent and wary was left in its wake.Bereft of their comrade, they sallied forth. The Great Derp had struck.-Book of Bay12, GD 15:7-8
I actualy had a nice little fort completly self-contained in its own little bubble, with the surface sealed off, the military builded up, and with 70+ dwarves with there own little rooms. Than came the alert that one of the old cows had a infection and died. There were no survivers.
Our only line of defense is a couple of redneck engineers and drunken fools with morningstars.
Unless we can turn it into some kind of Murder Vacation and have thousands of tourists from all over the world don water skis in an effort to bash in some flying fish skulls like some medieval Mario.
HAHA YESI have fooled you puny mortals and now I shall boil your eyes and maybe pancreases with the unholy might of the underworld! I shall peel off your skin in strips and sew your eyes open with it so that you must look unblinking upon the horror of your own family being ripped...Wait, did you say Night Creature?Oh.Then no, not it.
Technically speaking the friend zone is supposed to mean a relationship status where you are friends with each other but can never have sex with each other. By that logic all straight men have been putting all their male friends in the friend zone since the beginning of time.That's just downright cruel.
Just thought of something: does a 'waterfall' of magma give happy thoughts?
Quote from: Intro1827 on October 20, 2012, 11:34:30 amSo no, magmafalls don't boost happiness.They make me giggle. That counts as happiness.
So no, magmafalls don't boost happiness.
Andrew Jackson: Will let you shoot him in his heart so he can take his time aiming.
Case in point: Twig Gray likes to fashion intricate objects out of bone but has the creativity of a feral ghoul rock.
Hey, everyone!If you do happen to ever feel depressed, don't! Just remind yourself that you've won just as many medals as Lance Armstrong's won! Good on you!
Quote from: Robsoie on October 22, 2012, 05:46:35 amThere was a muton that annoyed me, i decided to give a test to the blaster launcher as i thought i was far enough.Conclusion : muton annihilated, 4 xcom troopers killed and my own tank destroyed by the blast :D= X-COM!
There was a muton that annoyed me, i decided to give a test to the blaster launcher as i thought i was far enough.Conclusion : muton annihilated, 4 xcom troopers killed and my own tank destroyed by the blast :D
So your PipBuck is essentially saying "The fuck, man. Are you irradiated? I can't even tell anymore. I wasn't programmed to handle the level of deformities presented to me. Please sell me to someone more beautiful."
Some people just need a high five.To the face. With a chair.
People keep saying that doing an Evil embark is like experiencing a Zombie Apocalypse but that's not accurate. In a zombie apocalypse the zombies overwhelm the inhabitants corrupting the land and trapping a band of survivors. In DF a group of people with a perfectly fine place to live, look at a corrupted hellhole overrun by the legions of the undead boot them out and say "No, we live here now."
"And so then I said to her WHAT THE FUCK BATTLESTATIONS!"
...what? What is this shit? Medium precision? Hell naw, you get back in that office and you tell me exactly how many pebbles we have lying around here.
George Lucas disappeared in the 80s and never turned up, todays George Lucas is a robot made by Industrial Light and Magic, which is why all the new Star Wars sucked.
Set it on fire. It won't kill it, but at least you'll be slightly more amused.
Actually, in my first quest, I killed one of my own companions who was dying in agony. Really, I was just trying to put her out of her misery. (That bronze armor she was wearing was just a keepsake I kept in her memory.)
The number of children traumatized by movies, tv, books, video games and such is miniscule compared to those traumatized by close relatives (including parents). I propose a ban on families.
I went to a bandit camp on a treeless, red sand/gabbro dune with one commander wielding a bronze pike, whose treasure was one sack containing a pair of pants. I broke his arms and was pinning him so an enraged honey badger could kill him, when I thought I should see if this guy was just a guy, and that treasure was like, his laundry.I copied over the whole game, retired, started legends and looked him up, and it turns out he's just a guy who has never formed a gang with other members or killed anyone or their pets, he just lives out there and is now an Enemy of Civilization. So my very fat, socially unaware adventurer butchered the badger for him, would have sheepishly put his tent back up if tents existed, and Traveled away sort of embarrassed.
This time, the Fortress Guard aren't unarmored and few. Their shields are thick, their swords are sharp, and they are clad in the bones of those who dared to stand against Depthhall. This beast's bones will clad an army, it's meat will feed generations. This time the beast does not win. The dwarves will have their fortress.Losing is fun, motherfucker.
Oh, they're infinite?Well, in that case, here's what you do.You take a healthy swig of plump helmet wine, pick up your mushroom-wood training axe, pull your kitten leather helm firmly over your ears, and go kill demons until their population reaches an acceptable number.
I now scream magma at questions asked of me, in real life."Hey! How do you get rid of an ant infestation?""Would you like to sign a petition to save the forest?""Do you support Obama?"
"Nightmare Moon is back!""Pull the lever!""Discord is here!""Pull the lever!""Parasprites are invading!""Pull the lever!""We have to wait for more episodes!""Pull the lever!"
Just for amusements sake, heres a picture of a fucking T-Rex in a box.
Quote from: Alrenous on January 17, 2010, 03:15:37 pmBut my good sir, the second death was for Dwarven Science!I think I'm just going to copy-and-paste that response into every thread on this forum. It'll never be off-topic.
But my good sir, the second death was for Dwarven Science!
Quote from: Bohandas on September 06, 2011, 09:28:23 pmI just had a thought. Wouldn't it be terrible if a somepony's cutie mark reflected some embarassing (yet, obviously, significant) aspect of their personality that they would rather not advertise to the world? Like if it was a line of coke or a forty or a bunch of adult toys?Well, then obviously their special talent would be bulky clothes that cover cutie marks.
I just had a thought. Wouldn't it be terrible if a somepony's cutie mark reflected some embarassing (yet, obviously, significant) aspect of their personality that they would rather not advertise to the world? Like if it was a line of coke or a forty or a bunch of adult toys?
The best way to explain the fanbase, is that we are debase, violent, OCD, and we schedule our psychotic breaks with train-station frequency. But, in all that, we are real. We don't puff up, we don't brag (ok we do), we don't cheat and lie and troll (much). What we do is what we play, and we're earnest in our endeavors and we're open with our relationships to other fans. You want to know how to designate a stockpile? We'll put you on the experimental multiplayer server and hold your hand. You need to kill a mayor very fast? We will outline the details of a magma purge system within ten minutes. Tired of tantrum spirals? We can engineer a death fall trap in your dining hall, organized and synchronized to encourage death at the times of highest foot traffic and designed so that none of the falling animals/migrants are accidentally saved by landing on a wandering dwarf.We are sick. And we do it right.The game itself also lends credence to the fanbase's style. Your fort will die. It will. You will not win. You will only have fun as you come closer to failure. Your entire goal is to have fun, as the only measurable success of a fort is enjoyment. Got steel clad legendary axedwarves? Got a platinum plated dining hall with waterfalls? Got a magma-duct that ritually kills goblin sieges with clockwork precision? It doesn't matter, because you will fail. The only measure of success, is how much you enjoyed the route to failure. That's what makes Dwarf Fortress, and its players, so unique. We don't strive to level up, or to get top-tier gear, or to finish the quests, or to earn achievements.We play for fun. And we do it right.
1) Pegasi evolve from a winged reptile, the same one that dragons evolved from.2) Enclosed forest environments make wings useless, and so a subgroup of ponies evolves without them.3) Dangerous magical predators cause magical sensory organs to evolve, creating both alicorns in the pegasi tribes and unicorns in the pony tribes.4) Civilization causes the alicorn gene to go dormant, with only random chance or powerful magical events cause the gene to activate, giving birth to heroes to counter the threat.