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[Zai]

That was pretty clearly satire. If not #8, #6 should have made that very clear. And #5 (All PC gamers have high-end rigs that they have to spend $1000s on. NO EXCEPTIONS).

[GlyphGryph]

KaguroDraven,
Stealing is stealing. Game Piracy is not stealing, its illegal copying and copyright infringement. You can tell the difference between one has a bunch of criminal consequences like jail time, and the other makes you lose money to lawsuits. Geez, people, stop conflating crimes!

No comment on joke article. Decent troll/satire/ironic list I guess?

[KaguroDraven]

Since this was obviously just a troll, I shall sing to comemorate it.

You've been trolled, You've been trolled. You should probibly just fold. When the only winning move is not to play. Yet you keep on trying, Mindlessly replying. You've been troll, You've been trolled. Have a nice day.

[Antioch]

Reasons to hate PC gamers #3: They're always complaining
The average PC gamer is a moaning, winging waste of space who never runs out of things to complain about.

lolz

[Itnetlolor]

I was about to say something along the lines of "How old is this kid that's complaining? BTW, who's to say your MP3 player isn't rigged with tons of pirated music? How's that not a part of the argument?" and etc..

Then I realized, this was an overplayed hand and had to be a troll (The other signs it was a false document also show). I think this was a sad attempt to make both sides look bad. PC = PC, Console = Mac. You fill in the rest. That's what this "argument" ended up looking like. A really bad commercial series.

EDIT:
I also found the last picture funny. Not the statement written on it, but if the girl wrote it, then what does that say about her?

EDIT EDIT:
I was surprised by the amount of responses. My, what sensitive people.

I still say the Serial Killer Roguelike had to be one of the better trollings I've seen/experienced. That one was well made. The response of working on the Crime Focused Roguelike was unusually positive for a reaction to such a trolling.

[Captain Hat]

Wow, give this article writer a hand, because it worked. REALLY WELL

10/10

[The Scout]

I think it fine that I spent $1500 to buy a decent PC. Best troll in awhile.

[Zangi]

I think it fine that I spent $1500 to buy a decent PC. Best troll in awhile.

Shop around / build your own for half that gets you a decent one that can play most modern games without a hitch.  Albeit, I still play a lot of low requirement games...

[Kitsunin]

Yeah, the money than sense argument is kind of stupid, I'm getting a really really high-end LAPTOP for about $1000, I could probably make a desktop for a bit more than half that...well, needing to buy Windows aside 
Sure it costs about 3 times as much as an xbox, but the trade off is that it's more than 3-times as powerful, AND I can do a shitload of other, non game related, things with it.

As for piracy, just to say, the reason it isn't stealing is because all it removes is potential revenue, if you aren't willing to pay for something that doesn't exist, who's to say it's worth the arbitrary price tag assigned to it?  (This is coming from someone who spends probably around $50 each month on games, anything I pirate I would have no chance of being able to buy otherwise)

Of course, this is a troll, so this is unnecessary, but I found it funny.

[forsaken1111]

Reasons to hate PC gamers #10: They're elitist twats
If you're a video game fan with a soft spot for consoles, never, ever get into a conversation with a PC gamer. They will tell you at length, and with the utmost smugness, why their 'gaming rig' is vastly superior to your piddling little toy. FPS fans are especially open to ridicule, with the mouse-vs-controller argument forever on the tip of a PC gamer's silver-spooned tongue. To avoid these unsightly conflicts, we recommend bludgeoning them on sight with your Xbox/PS3.

Most PC gaming rigs are superior to current gen consoles.

Reasons to hate PC gamers #9: 'E-sports'
I'm sorry, but playing computer games is not a sport. I don't care how honed your Counter-Strike reflexes are. The whole 'e-sports' phenomenon is surely one of the most try-hard, laughably unimpressive professions in the world: and yet we're supposed to take these 'athletes' seriously. (Since when has sitting in a chair clicking a mouse been in any way athletic?)

"My guys train five hours a night, five days a week, which is more than some professional footballers!" Team Immunity's manager once boasted. "...Maybe they don’t hit the gym as much." You don't say.

Oddly enough, I feel the same way about physical sports. I don't care how many times you can get a rubber ball through a metal hoop, it's still stupid.

Reasons to hate PC gamers #8: They're filthy pirates
PC gamers seem to think they have a God-given right to illegally download computer games for free. This is stealing; plain and simple -- and it's affecting the industry in a big way.

When queried about its draconian DRM policies, Ubisoft threw the issue back at PC gamers' faces, and rightfully so: "Are we frustrated by the PC market? I think everyone is. In the end it all comes back to one single truth: piracy is a big, huge, hairy problem. It's a market that suffered a lot because of piracy, and we're all just trying to figure out what we think is the best way to deal with it." In other words, pay for your games, you scroungers.

Yep, nobody pirates console games ever. Nope. 

Reasons to hate PC gamers #7: They make the rest of us look like nerds
Once upon a time, playing video games was about as socially acceptable as owning a 12-sided dice. It was something nerds did in-between zit-popping and Star Trek marathons (or at least, that was the popular playground perception at the time). To talk incessantly about video games was to invite wedgie annihilation from all directions. Needless to say, it was a dangerous time to be a gamer.

Thankfully, things have come along in leaps and bounds since then -- unless you're a PC gamer, that is. For some reason, PC gamers have refused to leave the tissue-strewn basement of our inglorious past. Most of 'em still play flight sims, war games and orc-filled RPGs: apparently by choice. They also have serious BO issues, as any LAN tournament will attest. Then there are PC gamer poster boys like Leeroy Jenkins, Red Shirt Guy and that dude who tried to stick a remote control up his butt.

Wow! I had no idea console games were bereft of flight sims, war games and orc-filled RPGs. They must have made some serious strides in console technology, as it now apparently also eliminates body odor and automatically guarantees you a social life!

Reasons to hate PC gamers #6: They're shameless graphics whores
PC gamers don't really care about gameplay. They’re more interested in teasing a few extra frames per second out of their ridiculously overpriced ‘gaming rig.’ When you spend more time fiddling around in BIOS than actually playing, it's time to face facts: you're no longer a gamer.

-cough-ASCII-cough-Roguelike-cough- The amusing thing here is that we were using monitors capable of 720 "high definition" resolutions long before they came to the market as HD Televisions, so this one might be slightly true. We didn't want to share our shiny pixels.

Reasons to hate PC gamers #5: The have more money than sense
So, you want to get into PC gaming huh? The first thing to do is grab an Origin Genesis gaming PC: with an RRP of $10,893, it's an absolute steal! Or maybe you just want to upgrade your PC's graphic card to something a bit meatier? The Asus R.O.G MARS is going cheap at just $1999! Perhaps portable gaming is more your bag? If so, the ASUS Lamborghini VX5 can be yours for just $3499! Bargains, all three of 'em!

Alternatively, you could buy a Nintendo Wii, a PlayStation 3, an Xbox 360 and a Nintendo DSi XL for a fraction of the price. But who'd want to go and do something stupid like that?

Yes but the Origin Genesis has more processing power than all of those console systems together, even if you applied stickers, racing stripes, and RUBBED THEM WITH CHEETAH BLOOD. You get what you pay for, and I don't think he realizes that most console companies sell the console itself at a loss so that you can afford it and will then be roped into buying games for the next few years.

Reasons to hate PC gamers #4: MMORPGS
When your parents told you to get out of the house more, I don't think this is what they had in mind.

Okay this one is true. MMORPGs are probably the worst thing that has ever happened to grade point averages, happy healthy relationships, and personal hygiene. What? What's that? You can play MMORPGs on the console systems too?! 

Obsessive people will obsess over stuff, if not an MMO then something else equally time consuming and life destroying.

Reasons to hate PC gamers #3: They're always complaining
The average PC gamer is a moaning, winging waste of space who never runs out of things to complain about.

Whenever a feature is cut from a game, or it doesn't live up to expectations, the PC gaming fraternity goes on a hysterical nerd-fueled rampage, with scores of online petitions, irate death threats and organised boycotts clogging the Internet. They make John McEnroe’s famed dummy-spits look like articulate debates.

Is it any wonder that games publishers are abandoning the PC market in droves? It’s simply not worth the effort of releasing a PC game these days – even if it’s perfect, you guys will find something to nitpick. Presumably, you won’t be happy until the entire games industry has washed its hands of you. That day can't come soon enough

Damn right we are. Next!

Reasons to hate PC gamers #2:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Hey that probably took a lot of work. I'd blame the ridiculous proliferation of anime more than the guy who decided to get creative. Just be thankful he didn't convert it to receive a different type of hard drive.

Reasons to hate PC gamers #1: L33TSPEAK
Just when gaming was starting to make inroads into the mainstream, a splinter group of stuck-up PC nerds started to pretend they had broken keyboards. Apparently too cool for the alphabet, they substituted letters for vague number-based substitutes in a two-fingered salute to grammar.

While it originated with computer hackers, Leetspeak quickly spread into the PC gaming community; making us all look like complete jackasses in the process. If you regularly pepper your online chat with ‘pwned’, ‘Noob’, ‘w00t’ and ‘Sux0r’ you’re part of the (gene pool) problem. Now rack off and die in a chemical fire. You shan't be missed.

I agree with this, but I see/hear it just as much on console chat/voice chat.

Overall a fun read, thanks.

[Itnetlolor]

Yeah, in the case of torrents and etc. I mostly use it as a means of getting things that otherwise would be impossible to find nowadays either because the show/movie hasn't been converted into DVD yet (or ever) and even if so, lacks all it's episodes or quality (IE- only censored releases exist as sold, but a recording is still in raw format, but not sold). Plus, I find certain forms of piracy as a way of preserving history in an unofficial way. In a sense, it still feels like the classic "kids vs. adults" battle from the 90s is still going on, but this time around, in what portions can remain distributed.

Hell, I never thought I could find the soundtrack to Jet Set Radio Future ever. Didn't think one was ever sold, and the only torrent of it I can find has next to no seeding done. This is one such example, JSRF was an awesome game with an awesome soundtrack (PC talking about a console game), but where's the soundtrack? Hiding in an obscure part of the internet.

[forsaken1111]

I can still get original copies of games like xcom ufo defense and hero's quest, and that is why I love torrent sites.

[KaguroDraven]

I also only torrent if I can't get it any other way. Mind 'any other way' doesn't count for credit cards for me, since I lack one and am unlikely to get one.

[forsaken1111]

I like how the internet brings so many very different people together.

Let's all hug.

[KaguroDraven]

*hugs*