Chapter 16: Ground Skirmish
Deoxys flies to the ground, far away from the battle and molds in the background. (6) He is now
Perfectly Hidden.Twilight Sparkle parachutes out of the helicopter and begins firing projectile attacks towards the Bay12 Army below. (3) And by the entire Bay12 Army, I mean the Dwarven Fortress Population. (2 vs. 2) There is a scampering about as fire balls and bursts of energy are flung at them and raze the ground. None of the projectiles actually hit them, but they scream and run around in terror.
Teddy Roosevelt jumps out of the helicopter and gives a Merican' speech on liberty and stuff as he parachutes down, when he notices the Liberal Crime Squad. The floating president cocks his rifle.
"HIPPIES! I SHOW YOU HOW A REAL PATRIOT FIGHTS!" (3 vs. 1) Teddy fires a clean shot into one of the Liberal's head.
Sun Tzu makes a double entendre and fires his Kaiyun Bow at Urist McThrowin'! (1 vs. 3) The arrow misses the dwarf, embedding itself in the courtyard floor. As Tzu curses under his breath, McThowrin' gets a nicely sized rock and throws it at the general. (4 vs. 3) The rock smashes into his foot and fractures it. Ow.
Cyan Garamonde begins charging up his SwordTech attack, as he directs his parachute near the Bronze Colossus.
Fluttershy flies out of the vehicle and stealthily gets behind the WWI Medic. Slithering up to him, the Pegasus leaps and yells
"Boooo!" Accompanying this is her "scary" face. (4 vs. 3) The Medic screams and runs away, no doubt scarred by such a horrific event.
Pinkie Pie tries salvaging her
Pink Death. (...) Alas, it's not working. So, she sits on Urist McSworden. (4 vs. 1) The massive plot smashes the Hammerdwarf into the ground.
Gordon Freeman gets to fragging some dwarves. Pulling pins, the scientist unleashes a flurry of green over the Peasant Army. (6 vs. 4) The numerous grenades explode over the dwarves, scattering them with kinetic energy and impaling them with shrapnel.
With The
H.O.E. landing from their parachutes, the Bay12 Army prepares to fight! Also, dat acronym.
The Dwarven Fortress Population goes into Guard Mode! (
+1 to Defense,
-1 Offense)
Urist McSworden attempts flails under
Pinkie Pie. "Get yer' damn flink' offa' meh'!" With all of his strength, (6 vs. 4) he throws Pinkie several feet away into a stone wall, severly bruising her. He stands up and brushes himself off.
Urist McThrowin' applaudes his last attack, and tosses another large stone at
Sun Tzu. (2 vs. 4) The throw is off, giving Tzu plenty of time to shoot off another arrow. (2 vs. 1) McThrowin' takes an arrow to the foot! Yeahnoskyrim.jpg
The Peasant Army, having lost many of their kind to grenades, sees
Gordon Freeman land.
"Get that robot!" The knife-wielding folk charge Freeman, (5 vs. 2) hacking their knives giving him light, but numerous cuts.
The Bronze Colossus notices
Cyan Garamonde landing near him and preparing something. Enraged at all things human, the Colossus sweeps his giant arm at the Samurai, (5 vs. 5) but an aura of energy appears around Cyan, protecting him until his SwordTech is done charging. The Bronze Colossus is thrown aback!
The Boogymen hear
Fluttershy go
"Boo!" Not to be outdone, they surround the yellow Pegasus. (3 vs. 4) They begin cackling, and the frightened
Fluttershy goes into Panic Flail Mode. (1 vs. 6) She flails around on the ground. The Boogymen are confused.
The Liberal Crime Squad see a member go down.
"We will slay the conservative swine!" The gang fires upon
Teddy Roosevelt. (4 vs. 3) Teddy gets shot in the chest through his armor, but that's minor for him.
"I tire of these Equestrians! Brother, bring the rocks!"ThreeToe pulls a lever and rocks fall onto the battlefield!
(4) The rock lands on 3 Heroes!
(5)
Sun Tzu is hit! He is now trapped under a rock!
(2)
Twilight Sparkle sidesteps a rock as it makes a dent in the ground besides her.
(6)
Fluttershy gets hit by a rock! Not only does it trap her, it starts
suffocating her! (Fatal next turn unless helped.)
"Not bad. Not bad at all...." *Takes a swig of booze* ToadyOne & ThreetoeHealth:
Bay12!Mood:
The trap was decent.
Dwarven Fortress Population: A large militia ready to defend their home, no doubt a worthy bunch of opponents. Except one's sitting down and making a pot. Another is going for a drink. That one just fell in the moat. Maybe not so worthy.
Items: Dwaren Equipment.
Health: Guard Mode: 99%, 98.5%....there goes another .3%...
Urist McSworden: Adventure Dwarf who was born with a natural skill for using Hammers. His parents were not good with naming children.
Items: Steel Helmet, Steel Armor, Steel Warhammer
Health: Pounded
Urist McThrowin': The kids laughed at him for playing with rocks all day. But who's laughing now?
Items: Rocks, Sand, Water, Blood, Body Parts
Health: Arrow in Foot
Peasant Army: They are peasants. They have knives. They have no family to speak of. They ask that you travel a few feet to the Northwest to and kill The Heroes of Equestria.
Items: Knives
Health: 55%
Bronze Colossus: Oooohh, Megabeast!
Items:
Ability: Giant - +1 to Offense,-1 to Defense
Health: Fine
Boogeymen: AW FU-
Items:
Ability: Incessant Douchbaggery - +2 to Defense,-1 Offense
Health: Cackling
Liberal Crime Squad: A hippie, a yoga teacher, a gangster, a teacher, a college student and a judge walk into a bar. They proceed to beat up every conservative inside.
Items: M16's, Katanas, Body Armor
Ability: Improvised Martial Arts Masters
Health: 5/6. Moderate!
WWI Medic: Would feel safer in a hole.
Items: WWI Military Uniform, Military Helmet, Trench Rifle, Amputation Kit
Ability: Medic
Health: Traumatized (-1 to rolls)
Twilight Sparkle
Items: Dashie's Katana
Health: Fine
Pinkie Pie
Items: Party Cannon (Broken), Shotgun
Health: Slammed
Teddy Roosevelt
Items: Rifle, Pistol, Knife, Light U.S. Armor, M16, Shotgun
Health: Chest Shot
Sun Tzu
Items: Kaiyun, Ji, Battle Banner, Art of War, Lamellar Armor, Heavy U.S. Armor, French Toast
Health: Fractured Foot, Trapped!
Fluttershy
Items: Sniper Camoflouge, 60's Sub-machine Guns
Health: Suffocating!
Cyan Garamonde
Items: Katana, Tanto Knife, Samurai Armor, Sniper Camoflouge, Light U.S. Armor
Health: Fine
Deoxys
Moveset: Psychic, Wrap, Night Shade, Flash Cannon, Hyper Beam (Ready)
Health: Fine
Gordon Freeman 2.0
Items: Crowbar, Gravity Gun, Fire Crossbow, 1911 Pistol, Handcannon Revolver, Uzi, Laser Rifle, Javelin RPG, Flashbangs, Fragmentation Grenades
Health: Cut Up
Mongolian Warriors
Equipment: Turkish Sabers, Mongolian Armor
Health: 50/50 Warriors
JFK in a Tank
Equipment: Sherman Tank
Health: America
NPCs didn't do anything because I forgot.
Sorry.
Author
Topic: Roll to Dodge Princess Celestia, Act II [Actually Done This Time: R.I.P] (Read 323436 times)