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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2124825 times)

Greiger

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1425 on: April 11, 2010, 10:04:28 am »

I guess fire imps must not be very meaty with such a thin patty.  And so many vegetables on that thing, vegetables aren't food, vegetables are what food eats!

...still, free burger. I'll take mine with only ketchup.
« Last Edit: April 11, 2010, 10:05:59 am by Greiger »
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Whisp

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1426 on: April 11, 2010, 10:33:56 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I take it thats a "lavish" mean ya?
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darthbob88

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1427 on: April 11, 2010, 11:56:33 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I take it thats a "lavish" mean ya?
Easily. Fire imp meat, tomato/pepper salsa, lettuce leaves, and cow cheese. That's a proper lavish meal right there, if not available in vanilla.
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Quantum Toast

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1428 on: April 11, 2010, 12:07:31 pm »

And so many vegetables on that thing, vegetables aren't food, vegetables are what food eats!
Would it help if you had an elf in a cage to watch you eating plants?
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That would be as deadly to the wielder as to anyone else!  You'd sever your own arm at the first swing!  It's perfect!

Julien Brightside

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1429 on: April 11, 2010, 12:37:07 pm »

So I make a spot a fortress in the iddle of nowhere. Unfortunately, I do not get the burrows thing, so under a goblin ambsuh, I have 40 dwarves run out and get themselves killed. My military is poorly equipped and gets their ass beaten.

After a few more situations like this, I end with a fortress beaten. When I reclaim, all the goblins are friendly, and I get a message that one of the goblins have grown attached to his copper crossbow.

Greiger

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1430 on: April 11, 2010, 12:41:40 pm »

And so many vegetables on that thing, vegetables aren't food, vegetables are what food eats!
Would it help if you had an elf in a cage to watch you eating plants?
I would have a cow eat the vegetables, then grill the cow.  Maybe deep fat fry the sucker.  Elf gets to watch the whole thing.
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I don't need friends!! I've got knives!!!

Whisp

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1431 on: April 12, 2010, 02:25:18 am »

I would have a cow eat the vegetables, then grill the cow.  Maybe deep fat fry the sucker.  Elf gets to watch the whole thing.

This is porn to me...

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Organum

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1432 on: April 12, 2010, 02:28:12 am »

I would have a cow eat the vegetables, then grill the cow.  Maybe deep fat fry the sucker.  Elf gets to watch the whole thing.

This is porn to me...



Why would you ever tell someone that.
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If dwarves decided to live in trees like hippies, they'd still do it better than the elves.

Time Kitten

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1433 on: April 12, 2010, 02:51:31 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I take it thats a "lavish" mean ya?
Easily. Fire imp meat, tomato/pepper salsa, lettuce leaves, and cow cheese. That's a proper lavish meal right there, if not available in vanilla.
Masterfully minced Fire imp meat,
Expertly minced salsa
Minced tomato
Very well minced lettuce leaves
Well minced cow cheese
all atop a basic minced bun
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Whisp

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1434 on: April 12, 2010, 03:04:50 am »

I would love to be shown the difference between;
Minced
Well Minced
Very well Minced
Expertly Minced
and Masterfully Minced
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Halmie

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1435 on: April 12, 2010, 04:27:10 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I take it thats a "lavish" mean ya?
Easily. Fire imp meat, tomato/pepper salsa, lettuce leaves, and cow cheese. That's a proper lavish meal right there, if not available in vanilla.
Masterfully minced Fire imp meat,
Expertly minced salsa
Minced tomato
Very well minced lettuce leaves
Well minced cow cheese
all atop a basic minced bun
Ummm... I don't think they use cow cheese.
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Meh.

Cerion

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1436 on: April 12, 2010, 03:12:23 pm »

I dug a shaft 35 z-levels down from my fort's garbage dump to the magma for waste and stone disposal. When channeling out the bottom level, the miner decided it would be a good idea to stand on top of the stone being removed (sigh)

The shaft is also for some reason filled with levitating blood spatters in "open space"

Later, while fighting some sort of dinosaur forgotten beast, my militia commander got his arm and foot broken, and I forgot to remove him from the military. They sewed the arm up with ADAMANTINE STRANDS which apparently made him think he was invincible. Although he couldn't walk he insisted on attempting to join individual combat training and refused any further medical treatment, food or drink, eventually dying of starvation. The dwarves dutifully picked up the thread and put it back in the stockpile...

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Naes Draw

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1437 on: April 12, 2010, 04:18:50 pm »

They sewed the arm up with ADAMANTINE STRANDS

Badass. If you could only make prosthesis.
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[CREATURE:CAT]
   [NAME:sena cat:sena cat:sena cat]
   [INTELLIGENT] [MISCHIEVOUS] [FEMALE]
   [PREFSTRING:craziness]
   [SHOES:ITEM_SHOES_SHOES:UNCOMMON]
   [PERMITTED_JOB:MODDER]

Wolfen

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1438 on: April 12, 2010, 05:28:08 pm »

I dug a stairway straight down from the middle of my fortress as a pilot for a main stairway and hit the cavern several levels earlier than I planned. While having a look I saw something move and decided to block off the stairway at that point in case their were fliers.

I designate the stair for channeling to get it out of the way, ready to floor over the hole. Next thing I see at the bottom of the screen is 'Urist McMinerdorf has bled to death'. I panic, thinking that I was too late and something has gotten out into the fortress from below, forgetting to check for a comat report. I look at the stairs. Nothing, the hall the stairs come up into, nothing. Finally look down in cavern and there, about 5 z-levels down, is poor Urist's mangled remains.

He'd been stood on the last stair square when he channeled it out...


Wolfen.
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Lemunde

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1439 on: April 12, 2010, 05:47:31 pm »

Opened the wall grates to the lower caverns to gather some fungiwood expecting the megabeast that showed up a year ago to be gone.  He wasn't.  By the time I saw him he was already past the grates.  Killed him without any casualties.  Or so I thought.  Then I saw the miasma everywhere.  A month later ten dwarves were dead from infection and the rest were emoing themselves to death.

For future reference: NEVER open the caves until you have some mechanism in place to deal with megabeasts.
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