Back in 40d I had a successful fort. I was in the process of building a three-tile-wide, two z-level wall with 5x5 guard towers around the entire map. I'd already built the north, east, and south sections and raised the drawbridges, and built a trench in front of where my west wall was going to go. Unfortunately, there was a slope towards the northwest and my trench had a single easily overlooked weak spot.
My fort had five hunters. Successful hunters, each had killed at least two foxes and untold amounts of deer. One was in the hospital, one was returning a kill, one was to the south-east of my fort hunting a fox, and two hunters and a dog were stalking deer to the northwest. At this moment at least two squads of melee goblins headed by marksgoblins had discovered the breach in my defenses and had snuck in while my patrolling squad of champions was on the far side of their patrol route. The ambushers revealed themselves by taking potshots at my masons from inside the yet to be constructed fortifications, perforating three, before turning their attentions to killing my woodcutters. My champions had not yet arrived from the other side of the map. One squad of goblins turned their sights to my hunters, who, in a stroke of marvelous luck, were in a stand of trees my woodcutters had not yet cut, while the other squad headed straight for my fort. With only one elite marksgoblin firing the trees absorbed many bolts but one of the hunters fell wounded, a bolt having pierced his shin. His loyal dog by his side, he fought valiantly but barely managed to wound a goblin raider before he was torn apart. My own champions were nearly upon the invaders, who decided to split their numbers. The leader of the squad (the same marksgoblin who had shot my other hunter) took four melee goblins with him to chase the hunter, who had chosen to run back to the fort through swampy ground. Meanwhile, the rest of the goblin squad had been torn apart, and the other squad that had charged at my fort had been taken out by the rookies guarding my main entrance.
The hunter, whose name has been lost to the depths of time, realized the goblins were gaining, and that he was leading them straight to his home anyway. He stopped, chose his spot near a murky pool, turned, and opened fire on the five chasers. One was shot in the leg and fell to the ground. One he killed. The marksgoblin shot him but it was just a graze. The hunter was in a trance.
The elite marksgoblin turned and opened fire on the squad of champions bearing down on them as his two remaining troops rushed the hunter. The hunter was terrified and snapped out of his trance, firing a wild shot before being tackled by one of the goblins. He had chosen his spot well, though, and both of them fell in the water. The marksgoblin and the other goblin were slaughtered by the soldiers of my fort as the hunter and the goblin started to drown.
What followed was one of the most pure examples of badassery I've ever seen in this game. My best miner rushed to the spot as the goblin flailed desperately to escape it's watery doom. My hunter, far from losing his head, held his breath and opened fire on the back of the panicking goblin. Blood billowed into the water. The goblin bled to death. The hunter was drowning as the miner made it to the edge of the pool and frantically began to dig a ramp. Then he saw all the water and decided to get a drink. One of my rookie miners started out and started where the other miner had left off. He finished the ramp. My hunter made it to the bottom of the ramp and drowned. I was very sad.
Eventually I finished the wall. I had leftover coloured stone so I built a giant green smiley face to honour the most badass hunter my halls had ever produced. Though I forgot his name I never forgot his dying act.
I have never before told anyone this story. Every word of it is true.
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Topic: Strangest Shit Ever (Read 131194 times)