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[Playergamer]

Destroy the city.

"BURN."

[SpookyDoctor]

[Is equal to the amount of things that can't be solved with fire.]
[Dreams of one day being a denominator.]

[Remuthra]

[Is equal to the amount of things that can't be solved with fire.]
[Dreams of one day being a denominator.]

One?

[Xantalos]

Abruptly destroy the setting.

[Elephant Parade]

Abruptly destroy the setting.

Oppose action with godly powers.

I should gain some sort of perk for being a god.

[smurfingtonthethird]

The perk is you're near freakin immortal. And you can turn water into tea.

[smurfingtonthethird]

Deploy RED blasters and Reflec Armor.

[4]

You crack open the armoury and everyone grabs their gear. "What are our orders?"

Mass apostle murder time.

[2]

You try to kill them, but they either run or throw tea at you. Marginally confused, you wander off after killing a few.

Grab a near by weapon not being used by policegirlfriend.

[1]

You pick up a blaster, and subsequently try it out. It explodes in your hand.

Arrest the police officers. This is clearly abuse by officers.

[4]

You jump the policemen. "CITIZEN'S ARREST, BITCH!" You cuff them. Now what?

Destroy the city.

"BURN."

[6]

You fire the ultimate HADOKEN. You burn away half the city... and the continent. Smooth.

Also, you're pretty drained of energy right now.

Abruptly destroy the setting.

Oppose action with godly powers.

I should gain some sort of perk for being a god.

[4] vs [6]

Xantalos, with Lord Slowpoke attached, proceeds to destroy buildings in the surrounding area. Elephant Parade summons a herd of godly elephants, which subsequently trample Xantalos and the civilians in the surrounding area. In a last ditch effort, Xantalos warps to the dark city, with LS riding on his back.

STATUS UPDATE TIME!
The city has been nuked and half destroyed by a black mage, an elephant god has risen and trampled more of the city, a rogue computer is arming civilians in a safer part of the city, there's a robot-cube thing trying to ram through a wall, a turtle who's run into the underside of a plane, and two eldritch beings in a dark city, one being cuddled, the other playing whack-a-mole with british tea-god acolytes. Not to mention there's an idiot with the ability to teleport and a living skeleton preforming citizen's arrests.

Kills (as far as I remember lol):
LS: 1 PC
Playergamer: 260 million civilians (smooth)
Elephant Parade: 30 civilians
darkpaladin: 4 Elephant tea-god acolytes
Xantalos: 12 civilians
Rest of you ninnys: 0

(This feels good. This is a good game.)

EDIT: half-assed map. I will grant one wish to however guesses which IRL city this is.
MAP:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Remuthra]

Find and arrest mutants and members of secret societies. Secret societies are treason. Unregistered mutants are treason. Defend Alpha Complex!

[LordSlowpoke]

EDIT: half-assed map. I will grant one wish to however guesses which IRL city this is.

this is not even a CHALLENGE for it is brisbane (northern part thereof?)

i need to think up a wish now gogdamm

[kj1225]

Listen to the strangely normal computer.

[Playergamer]

Summon the rest of the party, so I can get back to my life of trying to think of ways to kill them. Then go take a nap.

[4maskwolf]

Kill the mage in his sleep with my turtle-fu

[Elephant Parade]

Crush darkpaladin with an elephant.

[WillowLuman]

Leave police officers to their fate and collect high-quality skin and tissue from the recently deceased. I am nearly complete!

[smurfingtonthethird]

I have no idea what you will do once you have completed rebuilding yourself.