Strabb is boss 3
“You know that ogre you forgot to feed?”
“You mean the one
you forgot ta’ feed, then left rotting in a cage for months?”
“Shaddup, it don’t matter who forgot to feed ‘im, cuz I went an looked at ‘im and ‘e don’t look like he starved.”
“Then what the ‘ell killed ‘im?”
“Probably the wereelk ghost we got hangin’ ‘round.”
“’e’s still here? I thought the boss told you ta’ put ‘is name on a rock last week.”
“No, she was talkin’ to you.”
“That fuggin’ were-elk-troll-thing is too damn loud. I want it away from my workshop.”
“Sure thing boss. Just ta’ be clear, you don’t care what we do with ‘im?”
“Do I look like I give a fuck? Just get it to shut up.”
“You got it.”
“HEY GUYS, WE’RE BUILDING A MURDER-HOLE FOR SHOFET!”
“We finally gonna get rid of all these stupid troga… trogololo… little assholes?”
“And all the fuggin’ poets dinkin’ all our booze up.”
“What did the elf say to the woodcutter?”
“I don’t care.”
“Go
elf] yerself! What did the human say when the dwarf cut ‘is hand off?”
“Shut the hell up.”
“Looks like you’ve got a
shorttemper! What did-“
“I’ve got one. What did the Armorer say at the bottom of the well?”
“uhh… I dunno.”
“NOTHING. BECAUSE HE’S FUCKING DEAD!”
“You build the murder pit outta windows?”
“Yeah, so we’s can see ‘im rippin guys arms off and stuff.”
“Well how’re you gonna like it when ‘e smashes through dat window and rips yer damn arm off?”
“Uh… I didn’t think ‘a dat…”
“Take these out an’ put some real walls in. You can make outta glass if ye’ want, jus’ make sure they’ll keep ‘im in! An’ next time ye wanna get yerself killed, just jump in there yerself and don’t get
me killed along with you!”
“Hey, looks like there’s some new guys comin’ in.”
“Fuck that, we just caught another Jabberer and
two fuggin Cave Dragons![/i]
“Holy shit, lemme see!”
(Glassmaker, Ranger, Dyer, Butcher, Blacksmith, Papermaker, kid, Pump Operator, Pikegoblin, Poet)
“Why the hell are you three in the murder pit?”
“Well we finished the walls, yeah? So we go to chuck some of the little assholes in, and dat Gorlak, too. So I opened the roof, and chucked the first asshole in, but den it climbed right back out and bit the next guy, an’ she lost ‘er grip on the Gorlak, and a buncha shit happened, and now the assholes are all dead an’ we’re in here with Shofet.”
"Rrruh…" (The full moon is not for weeks yet. It is safe for you to open the wall and release these fine fellows. Although I do not appreciate being used for your amusement, I will accept my imprisonment here.)
“Well if you want to get outta there, do it yerself. I ain’t getting’ anywhere near there when that wall’s open. If you don’t get it sealed up again by the time ‘e turns, you better not be hauntin’ me. An if they’re climbin’ out, make the damn thing taller.”
“Caravan’s here, an’ they got another guy ogre!”
“Good. Get Zubzub over there, see if ‘e can get that thing, and some iron shit if they got it. We don’t have any other way to get it.”
“Sure thing, boss.”
“Oh, and this time, don’t let the ogre get killed by a fuggin’ ghost.
“Dammit, what is it dis time?”
“We almost got Shofet walled up again. Bax is puttin’ in the last block now.”
“And what the ‘ell went wrong this time?”
“Uh… nothin’.”
“Yer kiddin’ me. Yer kiddin’ me! You dumbasses actually did it? Now come on, let’s-“
“THERE’S A BEASTIE DOWN IN THE CAVERNS! COME ON EVERYONE, LETS-“
“THERE’S A BIG TWO-HEADED GUY ON THE SURFACE, COME ON EVERYONE, LET’S-“
“Oh. Um. So… I’ll take the these guys and go to the cavern, and you’ll take the other guys and go kill the big guy?”
“Yeah, sounds good.”
“HEY EVERYONE!!”
Hell yeah, I’m gonna be the first one to get down there, and I’m gonna kill me dat beastie, and den the others are gonna start actually using my name, dere’s more to me then cheese, dammitAnd what the hell is wrong wit cheese, anyway? It’s easy to make, an’ it tastes good, an’ UGH there’s always so much dust an’ soot an’ shit in these caverns, get it outta my face
an’ it’s nice to have sometin to eat other then meat sometimes, we just got that fishery up but that’s really just more meat, ‘an wasn’t there supposed to be a beastie down here?“’ELLO? BEASTIE? WHERE ARE YA?”
Dammit.
“Ye got two heads, but ye fight like ye got zero! Dumbass big thing.”
“AAAGH MY LEG IT KILLED MY FUGGIN LEG”
“Stop whinin’ an’ get over to Nix.”
((there were also 10 pages of repetitive smacking it until it bled out))
“We had an issue with the second batch of little assholes.”
“Dammit, what now?”
“So the first two fell in fine, but then an owl showed up…”
(Five minutes earlier)
“HOLYFUCKITSBACK”
“RUNFORYOURLIVESITSCOMINGFROMTHESKY”
(present time)
“An’ long story short one of the human bards is on top o’ the hatch with a bucha dead little assholes.”
“…and?”
“An’ what, boss?”
“Where’s the issue?”
“Dere’s a bard stuck in dere.”
“That’s not an issue, that’s perfect entertainment! It’s almost the full moon, pull the lever and let’s see how many pieces ‘e ends up in.”
“Dammit, she’s still in one piece.”
“Don’t worry. There’s plenty more where she came from..”
And that’s the end of my turn, for real this time. Presenting the Thunderdoom Thunderdome!
Shofet, or as the game is now calling him, “Hamehex,” is imprisoned be glass walls on the lowest level. The area around the pen is part of the tavern so visitors can come watch. Unfortunately, Glass walls still block line of sight so they can’t
technically see what’s going on but whatever.
The bridge on the level above is controlled by that cobaltite lever in the bottom right of the bottom level. My thought was we pit creatures, wait for Shofet to turn, then pull it. The door is currently locked, it’s there so we can get those who fall in accidentally out or burrow in the ones we can’t pit, like citezens or long-term residents. There is currently no way to retrieve anything once it’s below the bridge, so strip prisoners before you toss ‘em in. The pit zone is 2 levels above the bridge, which should be enough to stop most creatures from climbing out.
Zugzug is our broker, and carries an iron scourge with which he is proficient.
TheCheeseMaker is a cheesemaker, and is a competent hammergoblin despite the fact that he wields an iron crossbow.
That bard is currently visiting, has not applied for residency. How sweet of him to visit his parents.
Also I found out Strabb and Ul-Naksh are married.
The merchants don't want to leave for some reason, they might require some "persuasion."
Save is in 42.06.
For real this time!
Poll
4 (15.4%)
Author
Topic: Thunderdoom - A Succession Goblin Camp [42.05] (Read 39211 times)