Dwarf Fortress 42_06 : Toy Land
TO: The Great Publishing Company of Sanford & Son
From: Libash Fikodshar The Adventurer Extraordinaire
What Ho Mr. Sanford my dear human friend and partner! It is me, Libash “Glazedmiles”, you greatest author!
Greetings from the outpost of Olinning! What follows is the continuing adventures of yours truly, the Dwarf with the skills that pays the bills, Libash Fikodshar, Ranger, now a citizen of this small, out-of-the-way, settlement.
Now, where did my last letter end? Oh yes, after escaping from the hands of the Evil Troll King, Vadar, saved by his own Princess Daughter, Mary Sue, who of course fell in love with me but was killed while we fled, taking an arrow to her heart for me, I decided to join a bunch of migrants.
After many more dangers, which I saved everybody from, we finally arrived at the outpost where, the female Leader, took one look at me and decided to make me the Sheriff. Who won't make me the Sheriff with my muscles and good looks? Too bad for them, the ladies anyway, I’m married to the lovely “Anvilword“.
So now I am no longer a Ranger but a Sheriff. A step up, a Noble position, among these simple frontier folks.
They, at once, started to dig out my new bedroom, office, dining room, and, of course, a cell to hold prisoners. I don't see any problems with crime - they already worship me. As they should.
My first duty was, of course, to kill the Giant Snail. An evil beast, of great size and speed, who has terrorized the poor people of the outpost for over a year. It was a struggle, I had to put many bolts into it, sometimes at close range. Yes, very dangerous to do, but in the end I killed it. Then I carried its corpse back to the outpost for butchering. Olin came out to help collect my bolts. Fine fellow. I think I will give him the honor of cleaning my bismuth bronze crossbow.
Winter had come and, yet, these poor folks, mostly in the fishing industry, have failed to gather one piece of fruit. Well, nobody can be as smart and as vigorous as me, so who can blame them?
It seems the little things make these people happy. On the 2nd of Moonstone, for example, the poults - turkey chicks - hatched. Not sure what the big deal is about that but the folks here seemed happy.
It also seems they have designed two tiny bedrooms for the tavern. Not with any doors, just a bed in a tiny 2 by 1 room. Simple is the word in this place. No wonder they are amazed and excited to see me. Well, not ushrir, the Hunter who does not hunt. When he heard I have killed the snail he seemed....depressed. No doubt jealous of me.
Shortly after that a human bowman, named Ijam something-or-other, came to visit the outpost. They say it is here to visit the tavern but I assume it is to meet me and stand in awe before me. They also say, from what they can tell, that it is a female. Her hair is the color of pumpkin and her skin is that of cinnamon. And she had COPPER eyes. Amazing. I assume her appearance is common where you live? I can only assume that like other female creatures, female humans just can't fight my animal magnetism.
It seems there are a few...visitors...in the tavern. One is a ELF. Yes, I had to keep my mouth shut around IT. Well, you know how we and those tree huggers get along with each other. We don’t.
Also, after explaining to them about how stepladders work the Leader finally got them to collect some cherries and asparagus and rhubarbs and pecans. Not a lot but every little bit helps. Too bad their drinks are somewhat limited here. We have wine, ale, and beer. That’s it.
By the 15th of Moonstone I realized that winter here means raining. All. The. Time. The Leader's plan to drain one of the bigger the ponds into a water tank seems to be valid as the rain, over the year, could refill them. If they can do it without drowning everyone. The water tank will be built under the hospital - if it is ever finished.
It seems they plan to build a chamber under a pond and use a support to collapse it. After sealing up the tunnels of course - so not to flood the colony. I am not sure they know what they are doing. We’ll see.
I think I finally offended the ELF by the 2nd Opal as it is leaving. Along with one of the humans - spearman or something like that.
Also, I saw a weird sight. Did you know pigs could be milked? Neither did I. Anyhow, at least the menu was expanding. Well, they have even more fish dishes then before.
Things became scary when on the 7th of Opal, Kadol Esmulolin was taken by a mood and withdrew from society. Not that I was scared, of course. No, no. But the Leader decided, just in case something went wrong, to form up the city guard. Me and a few fisherdwarfs. Part time militia in other words. Weekend enforcers. I named us The Geared Angels! I like it. It also means I am now also the Militia Commander AND the Sheriff. I was soon teaching archery to my comrades as we waited for the all clear or to be called out to do our duty.
Anyway, the fisherdwarf, took over a craftdwarf's workshop and she started running about, searching for material. Then she started to work while singing some strange sounding song. Something about Misty Mountains and such.
After what seemed like forever (in fact it was the 13th of Opal) she finally presented the item she had been working on. "Behold!" she said. "Ritholokil, a highwood amulet!"
It looked fancy and the others say it is worth 4800 in credit. Not bad for one item. Could prove useful when the next caravan comes to the region. Unless somebody grabs it to wear.
And it started to rain again. I have to tell you, it is horrible on my good looks. My hair is lifeless!
Funny enough many of the Dwarfs, such as my wife, have no issues going out in the rain to fish and gather. In fact, due to the mild weather, there is still fruits and other items available for gathering in the forest. Even in the middle of winter. This means we now also have apple cider, cherry wine AND plum wine to go with our pig cheese and fish dishes.
On the 21st one of the Dwarfs was upset. Seems the duckling has gotten up into a tree and nobody can get it down to return it back to the chick pen. Funny, even with a door the chicks keep escaping the pen. I have heard rumors of spy chickens but I have always thought of those rumors as silly. Maybe they have something to them.
It also seems Uzol, a Carpenter, is smoothing out the tavern walls and floors. Does anybody DO what their title says or do they just do what they want?
Of course, I spent much of my time teaching Nomal and Zuntir, my Recruits, how to use their crossbows.
On the 28th the Hunter became a Herbalist. No doubt feeling overshadowed the legend that is ME he needed to move on to something he could handle. Picking fruit. What Ho!
Also seems, for a time, he was enraged. Seems he was sulking because he couldn't pray to Arel, his deity, since arriving here. Not that a drink didn't help. Yeah, he got drunk. Like all good Dwarfs who need something to help with life. Can't blame him - we DO only have one temple.
Also, by late winter, the folks outside noticed some albatrosses flying about. I wonder if they are good eating? Getting sick of squid, salmon, and shad.
Seems they need more logs and the Leader has ordered the cutting down of two trees. It seems they have failed yet to start a clay or glass industry. They really should start on them. I need something that reflects light so I can make sure my face is as handsome as ever.
On the 9th of Obsidian another human showed up. Kozi Dasmiraguv, an Axeman, has been sighted. How the Dwarfs know his name on sight is beyond me. This folks sometimes scare me. Well, not really. Nothing scares me, of course. What Ho! Also, a human bard, named Mutle Gislaronum (how do this people do that) had also arrived. And the bard is female. And they say her eyes are chocolate. Ewww!
Also, the farmers started to complain. Seems we may be low on plump helmet spawn. Horrible management if you ask me!
Shortly after that a proper bard showed up. A Dwarf named Fath Ducimsanreb.
Outside of that not much happened until late winter. Too many jobs and not enough Dwarfs to do them. You know how it is with local rural folks. Always trying to impress the Legends, such as myself, and overreaching themselves.
On the 18th the Dwarfs on the surface screamed out in alarm. A giant louse was attacking ushrir, the Herbalist, and it was now my moment to shine! Even while we grab our equipment the Leader assigns Lolor Akrulginon, the Soap Maker, as the new Chief Medical Dwarf. Just in case.
Even before we got to the louse is was being attacked by the broker and the Performer. Have to say, these folks are not willing to back down from a fight!
It seems the Herbalist was climbing into the trees to gather fruit and ran into the Giant Louse. The other two came to help and they all exchanged blows. The Louse got the worse of it.
In fact - The Geared Angels completely failed to kill it. It was so heavily wounded by the attacking citizens that it fled across the tree tops. In doing so it fell to the ground. Where the left front leg split open from the impact. Along with its head. After a few moments, trying to walk, it bled out and died.
Victory! And Medtob, our temple performer, has claimed the kill. Think about it. Our Female Temple Dancer, our Priestess, has killed to defend our outpost.
The stuff of legends had been born!
Oh, in other news they finished the Kiln and Glass Furnace. Of course, now they need a place to burn wood to make fuel but by next year we should have pots and green glass available. Wonderful! Its all coming together! Too bad they don't have any empty bags to collect the sand or clay with. Also, nobody has cut down those two trees yet. How lazy are these people?
I look forward to your reply and also the knowledge that once again you will publish my adventures, with proper editing of course, and I will be receiving my percent of the profits.
While, time to go to the tavern. I hear the human bard has a lovely voice. Even a visiting ELVEN bard is listening to her.
Yours in friendship and in partnership,
Libash Fikodshar The Adventurer Extraordinaire
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Topic: The Story of Olinning - Toy Land (Read 5309 times)