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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 750474 times)

Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13905 on: August 13, 2018, 01:25:48 pm »

Why are we now so willing to give Parsia away to Sim? They're under our sphere of influence and the plan was to vassalize them once the war is over, so why exactly are we trying to betray Parsia now?

If we accept the general's idea to partition Parsia between us, we'll effectively give up all we gained from the last war with Parsia, which was putting them under our influence and making them pay tribute, we had the option then to fully annex them, but the former was chosen over the latter.

I don't think the nobles in cydwyl would be pleased to know that we chose to betray one of our (unofficial) allies.
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13906 on: August 13, 2018, 01:27:50 pm »

calling parsia our friend is a bit ahem off its more like a hostile neutrality .

Why do you call Parsia hostile? They've been sharing a border quietly since re-forming the country back in Cyl I's reign, when they negotiated a decent price (we're still using the glassworks!) for the parts of territory we held. The nearest thing I remember to being hostile was expelling the drunkard Saenn over an incident that he caused; in the war of Yoe III's time he was the aggressor in large part because his army was feeling antsy. This paranoid drive to, so to speak, "hit them back, first," is how Methiant and its rulers get a reputation as difficult to trust.

I honestly don't know how much the Sim thinks belongs to him, but if this general's orders are to conquer Parsia flat out then negotiation time is past – not least because Parsia itself has been expanding northward well beyond any historical extent of Gubta. In spite of spices and tchai, I trust Sim as a 'friend' less than I trust the Parsians.
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Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13907 on: August 13, 2018, 01:30:47 pm »

the plan was to vassalize them once the war is over, so why exactly are we trying to betray Parsia now?

Because this isn't an option? We don't get to just pick what happens to Parsia when this war is over. We get to pick from whatever options Haspen gives us, including when the only option is "nothing." We've saved Parsia from invasion before and they didn't even say "thanks" for it. They've pretty much not gained an ounce of respect for us and afaik there's no indication that if we save them during this war we'll get anything out of it at all.
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Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13908 on: August 13, 2018, 01:31:58 pm »

Why are we now so willing to give Parsia away to Sim? They're under our sphere of influence and the plan was to vassalize them once the war is over, so why exactly are we trying to betray Parsia now?

If we accept the general's idea to partition Parsia between us, we'll effectively give up all we gained from the last war with Parsia, which was putting them under our influence and making them pay tribute, we had the option then to fully annex them, but the former was chosen over the latter.

I don't think the nobles in cydwyl would be pleased to know that we chose to betray one of our (unofficial) allies.
Look, I agree with all this, but it's also clear that Haspen is not giving us the option to tell Sim that we've been working over Parsia (and, if we had annexed Parsia, I'd be willing to negotiate with Sim the cession of the lands he's claiming), so I think we just have to go with the option that is closest to giving us what we want.
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13909 on: August 13, 2018, 01:32:21 pm »

the plan was to vassalize them once the war is over, so why exactly are we trying to betray Parsia now?

Because this isn't an option? We don't get to just pick what happens to Parsia when this war is over. We've saved Parsia from invasion before and they didn't even say "thanks" for it. They've pretty much not gained an ounce of respect for us and afaik there's no indication that if we save them during this war we'll get anything out of it at all.
I'm sure we'll get an option to make them consider becoming our vassals, otherwise I'm voting in favour of full annexation.
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Basil ii

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13910 on: August 13, 2018, 01:36:18 pm »

the plan was to vassalize them once the war is over, so why exactly are we trying to betray Parsia now?

Because this isn't an option? We don't get to just pick what happens to Parsia when this war is over. We've saved Parsia from invasion before and they didn't even say "thanks" for it. They've pretty much not gained an ounce of respect for us and afaik there's no indication that if we save them during this war we'll get anything out of it at all.
I'm sure we'll get an option to make them consider becoming our vassals, otherwise I'm voting in favour of full annexation.
WHY would a people famous for their pride and memories accept being our vassals!? They never in the history of region actually thanked us for our aid other than showing a distaste for our religion and people remember when they oppressed the pantheonist and other faiths the parsian are just pain they always been a pain and they will be as long as they have their claims on our lands I really doubt that they have truly changed that much or will in the future.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2018, 01:43:46 pm by Basil ii »
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Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13911 on: August 13, 2018, 01:37:59 pm »

WHY would a people famous for their pride and memories accept being our vassals!?.
They almost did, once, but certain elements were obsessed with splitting the territory in half to prevent some imagined problems and blew the negotiation for the rest of us.
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13912 on: August 13, 2018, 01:39:02 pm »

the plan was to vassalize them once the war is over, so why exactly are we trying to betray Parsia now?

Because this isn't an option? We don't get to just pick what happens to Parsia when this war is over. We've saved Parsia from invasion before and they didn't even say "thanks" for it. They've pretty much not gained an ounce of respect for us and afaik there's no indication that if we save them during this war we'll get anything out of it at all.
I'm sure we'll get an option to make them consider becoming our vassals, otherwise I'm voting in favour of full annexation.
WHY would a people famous for their pride and memories accept being our vassals!?
They might want to reconsider their initial response after we've saved them, and otherwise we'll just annex them, point is they'll become part of Methiant one way or the other.
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Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13913 on: August 13, 2018, 01:39:25 pm »

the plan was to vassalize them once the war is over, so why exactly are we trying to betray Parsia now?

Because this isn't an option? We don't get to just pick what happens to Parsia when this war is over. We've saved Parsia from invasion before and they didn't even say "thanks" for it. They've pretty much not gained an ounce of respect for us and afaik there's no indication that if we save them during this war we'll get anything out of it at all.
I'm sure we'll get an option to make them consider becoming our vassals, otherwise I'm voting in favour of full annexation.
They didn't even send a messenger to us when we told them this was going to happen, or when they started to get genocided or as we marched our army all the way across their lands. If there was an option at the start of this war to enter it on the condition they become our vassal I would have voted for it, but Parsia has ignored us for 20 years as we defend them. Sim is the only one here actually reaching out with options for us.

Look, it's great that you're sure that we'll get a specific option despite them showing no interest in such a thing and we not getting it last time something like this happened. Maybe it'll even happen. But Sim is actually making an offer we can actually take now.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2018, 01:44:38 pm by Criptfeind »
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Basil ii

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13914 on: August 13, 2018, 01:47:00 pm »

the plan was to vassalize them once the war is over, so why exactly are we trying to betray Parsia now?

Because this isn't an option? We don't get to just pick what happens to Parsia when this war is over. We've saved Parsia from invasion before and they didn't even say "thanks" for it. They've pretty much not gained an ounce of respect for us and afaik there's no indication that if we save them during this war we'll get anything out of it at all.
I'm sure we'll get an option to make them consider becoming our vassals, otherwise I'm voting in favour of full annexation.
They didn't even send a messenger to us when we told them this was going to happen, or when they started to get genocided or as we marched our army all the way across their lands. If there was an option at the start of this war to enter it on the condition they become our vassal I would have voted for it, but Parsia has ignored us for 20 years as we defend them. Sim is the only one here actually reaching out with options for us.

Look, it's great that you're sure that we'll get a specific option despite them showing no interest in such a thing and we not getting it last time something like this happened. Maybe it'll even happen. But Sim is actually making an offer we can actually take now.
exactly remember when they tried to MURDER! all of our hurtlings? I really doubt that they would not have done the same if they came to the citizens of mainland methaint if they had the opportunity. Tell me what do you think that in a parsian victory they would have done to methiant native people oh I know killed them all and replaced them with parsians.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2018, 01:53:03 pm by Basil ii »
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13915 on: August 13, 2018, 01:50:00 pm »

a
bbb
ccccc



You tell him that you believe Parsia is more trouble than help, and thus offer to split the land; Gubtans get what Gubtans want, while you take the rest.

Quote
6*

"Mahjar Sim would offer it himself if not for the fact he wasn't sure whether Methiant can be trusted, but now I can relay to him: indeed, the Methiantese are fellow warriors! Once we are done with purging rightful Simian lands out of the Parsian filth, I believe I could offer you services of my soldiers against the remainder of the Parsians. But we will see how the war progresses. Glory and prosperity to you and your descendants, o great Emperor Yoe of Methiant!" Ajarat Padarashka leaves at once, while you gather your officers and generals to pass the news. Confused, but only slightly disgruntled, they agree that this is for the best.

But soldiers are not dumb pawns! With the mood of the populace and your abyssmal authority, it doesn't take long before someone yells 'madman!' out of the crowd of the soldiers. Soon the situation turns sour, and your men start fighting!

Quote
3*

Unfortunately, people loyal to you seem small in number. Even few of your commanders switch sides, allying themselves with those that want to keep Methiant on side of Parsia!

Hundreds are already dead before you notice that you have a slight disadvantage in this mess. Soon, the generals convinced that you're not the Emperor they want or need, might capture you, and you will be at their mercy. On the other hand, men loyal to you are still aplenty.

You're gonna...

A) Fight till victory against the rebel scum!
B) Attempt to negotiate with the revolting masses.
C) Run away, you can get a new, loyal Army back home!
D) Surrender, and admit you did bad.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2018, 01:55:08 pm by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13916 on: August 13, 2018, 01:52:19 pm »

A

No benefit from all our artifacts or martial abilities when we fight  against the inexplicable desire of the common uneducated soldiers to give their lives in service of a group of people far from their home that they have practically no contact with?

Okay.
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13917 on: August 13, 2018, 01:52:36 pm »

A Let's hope that Doge survives so we can at least inherit Cydwyl.
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Basil ii

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13918 on: August 13, 2018, 01:54:02 pm »

A God dammit well we will sort ourselves out
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Basil ii

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13919 on: August 13, 2018, 01:55:01 pm »

No benefit from all our artifacts or martial abilities when we fight  against the inexplicable desire of the common uneducated soldiers to give their lives in service of a group of people far from their home that they have practically no contact with?

Okay.
why precisely would they care? Like seriously I doubt that the average peasant of methiant would actually care about a land so far away from their villages and the trader should be supporting us remember the trade deals we have with Gupta it made them so rich so why?.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2018, 01:58:51 pm by Basil ii »
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