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[Cheddarius]

All right. Thanks!

[MrGimp]

Before the year was out, news was brought to Queen Urist of yet another baby.  This time Jewelettarette had given birth to a girl.

"Bloody Armok!"  cried Urist.  "How many is that now?  Six?  That's like a litter of puppies or something.  I bet she doesn't have any bladder control left after that many babies!"

The court had a merry laugh at the Queen's joke.  She smiled smuggly and sipped Sunshine from her Adamantine mug, as she sat on her new Adamantine throne flanked by her new Adamantine statues. 

"Oh I kid too much!" chuckled the Queen.  "Jewelettarette is doing her service to this fortress and to dwarvenkind!  All you frigid bitches could learn a lesson or two."  The Queen eyed some of the courtiers currently in her throne room.  These included he Grand-Duchess' single daughters, as well as the Dungeon Master Petbeard and Baroness Aldaris.  All women who had refused to be implanted with dwarven seed.

"Oh well...enough of this!"  The Queen wiped the Sunshine from her beard with her forearm.  "Mogror, how goes your megaconstructions?"

"My Queen they go fantastically.  We had been held up previously for want of Dolomite, and so we had focused on the outer wall.  But now we are out of diorite, only to be flush with dolomite from recent storage room excavations.  The pyramid has already reached the height of the temple.  It should be finished in no time!"

"Excellent Mogror!"  The Queen smiled.  "You are wise to please me."

"Yes my Queen," said Mogror with a bow.  Everyone had to cater to the Queen's ego trip.

And so life continued and Blockedlance....

[MrGimp]

Spring 247



Life in the death pit continues on.

Airage kept at his craft machinations for the rest of the winter of 246 and well into the spring of 247.  He kept wanting to add more things to his masterpiece...and always those items were far far away.  He even chose to do it in a far away craftsdwarfshop, the one the Queen had carved for herself under the palace.  It was almost as if this snobbish noble kid was claiming the palace for himself already.

Anyways, he made a birchen ring.



It's actually a pretty decent ring.  It's worth 174000 bucks.  It describes the death of Xen Anguishedharvests.  Xen is the subject of a thousands of engravings throughout Blockedlance.  His exploits against the giant eagles of the mountains north of here are legend in these parts.  I dont recall Urist engraving his death before.  She probably did somewhere....but I dont remember it.  I only remember Xen smashing and tearing apart giant eagle after giant eagle.

Xen Anguishedharvests is Urist's favorite local folk hero.  This ring commemorates his death.  It also has Queen Cog on it. 

When confronted with the ring, the Queen asked if he was trying to be a wise guy by putting the old Queen on there.  The six year old future Grand Duke just shrugged and giggled, then ran off to go play.

Damn kids!

[MrGimp]

The Spring and Summer passed with the elf and human traders coming.  This time Urist ordered the dwarves to trade and try to get any turtles if they could.  They had no such luck, but they did unload a bunch of rock junk, so that was good.

In the Fall, an amazing event occurred.  The pyramid has been under construction for roughly a decade.  And now, the final stones have been placed!

Behold, the Pyramid of Urist!!!

[Cheddarius]

Incredible! It dwarfs (heh) even that tall golden tower you have next to it.
Truly 'tis a structure fit for queens.

[Moose Fisher]

It's (sniff) beautiful.

Being high off of quarcain makes it all the more magnificent.



I really like the use of ramps there, Mr. Gimp.  I didn't expect it to have such a smooth look.

since it's made of ramps, can we climb up it?

[Akigagak]

Oh, I wanted that head.

Nevermind, nice pyramid. But no cap made of a precious metal?

[Ze Spy]

I DUN THINK SO

*Ze Spy has been killed : didn't see blockedlance's rocket coming*

anyways , COVER THE PYRA!@#!$@!# IN BLOOD

[Huesoo]

Is the Dungeon master taken?

Yep.

Theres a daughter of the Grand Duchess left.  And now a boy and girl baby grandaughter of the Grand Duchess.  And one of these days Im gonna come across an Armok worshiping Hammerer and Tax Collector damnit!

Damn I wanted to have him! I was going to name him JosefFritzel.

[derekiv]

If possible, could I get a dwarf?

[Akigagak]

Is the Dungeon master taken?

Yep.

Theres a daughter of the Grand Duchess left.  And now a boy and girl baby grandaughter of the Grand Duchess.  And one of these days Im gonna come across an Armok worshiping Hammerer and Tax Collector damnit!

Damn I wanted to have him! I was going to name him JosefFritzel.

How many times, Huesoo, rape is not funny.

[MrGimp]

since it's made of ramps, can we climb up it?

You better climb it!  The pyramid is going to be the only entrance to the adventure mode fun stuff!

[MrGimp]

If possible, could I get a dwarf?

Sure, what do you want to name him?

[MrGimp]

Spring 248



Before winter of 247 was over, Jewelettarette had given birth to another child.  That was seven children now.  I am quite pleased.  Now if only these other hags would spread their legs, we could kill all these heathens and have a pure Armok worshiping fortress!

Anyhoo...248 has arrived, and with it, we have received a new Hammerer and Tax Collector.  Where they come from, I know not, but I was actually happy to see them this time.  You see, the Tax Collector apparently worships Armok!

The Hammerer, however, did not, and was promptly impaled on spikes.

That was really the only exciting news of 248.  The traders came, and brought us some shell.  That was double plus good!  Jewelettarette didnt have a kid this year - which was double minus bad - but I guess I can forgive her since she plopped out two kids last year.

[derekiv]

Derek
Thanks. If possible could he be a military dwarf & male? Preferably swordsdwarf.