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Author Topic: Blockedlance - No More Stops Until Ragnarok!  (Read 419901 times)

Kipi

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Re: Blockedlance - An Empire to Last 1,000 Years
« Reply #1935 on: June 12, 2010, 04:07:51 pm »

Nice work!

Could I get a dwarf? Male, preferably in military. Named as Kipi.
If no military then mechanic?
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Room Values - !!SCIENCE!!

Quote from: zanchito
You know, they could teach maths like this at school. "There are 105 dwarves in a settlement. A goblin invasion appears and 67 die. Then a migrant wave..."

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - An Empire to Last 1,000 Years
« Reply #1936 on: June 13, 2010, 10:57:04 am »

THIS IS A FUCKING AWESOME STORY

THANK YOU!!!

I started building sacrifice altars because of you.

Hell yeah.   8)

Now if you ever start building sacrificial altars FOR me, here is what my majesty requires....

Gimp Almighty's Weekly Sacrificial Demands
1. Place 7 ounces of dried rat weed in a rope reed bag beneath the golden altar of The Gimp, so that my lungs may never know a breath of fresh air.
2. Place 7 barrels of dwarven ale beneath the altar, one barrel for each day, so that my mind may never know sobriety.  It is blasphemous to place elf drinks in my presence.
3. Sacrifice 7 kittens in my honor, and place their delicious meat at my altar.
4. Sacrifice 21 virgins in my honor, three for each day of the week.  In fact, I'd prefer it if you don't really sacrifice them...just kinda leave them there...then close the door.  Don't worry...I'll get 'em.
« Last Edit: June 13, 2010, 06:32:10 pm by MrGimp »
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - An Empire to Last 1,000 Years
« Reply #1937 on: June 13, 2010, 10:57:22 am »

Nice work!

Could I get a dwarf? Male, preferably in military. Named as Kipi.
If no military then mechanic?

You're in.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Cheddarius

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Re: Blockedlance - An Empire to Last 1,000 Years
« Reply #1938 on: June 13, 2010, 12:00:17 pm »

2. Place 7 barrels of dwarven ale beneath the altar, one barrel for each day, so that my mind may never know sobriety.  It is blasphemous to place elf drinks in my presence.
Sunshine makes Gimp vomit in more ways than one.
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Ze Spy

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Re: Blockedlance - An Empire to Last 1,000 Years
« Reply #1939 on: June 13, 2010, 06:02:39 pm »

Quote
1. Place 7 ounces of dried rat weed in a rope reed bag beneath the golden altar of The Gimp, so that my lungs may never know a breath of fresh air.
2. Place 7 barrels of dwarven ale beneath the altar, one barrel for each day, so that my mind may never know sobriety.  It is blasphemous to place elf drinks in my presence.
3. Sacrifice 7 kittens in my honor, and place their delicious meat at my altar.
4. Sacfrifice 21 virigns in my honor, three for each day of the week.  In fact, I'd prefer it if you don't really sacrifice them...just kinda leave them there...then close the door.  Don't worry...I'll get 'em.

I did that , but i don't know what you like so excuse me if i gave Wounded Kittens
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Innominate

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Re: Blockedlance - An Empire to Last 1,000 Years
« Reply #1940 on: June 14, 2010, 12:08:29 am »

Do you really want DF virgins? They don't have genitalia, and they're filled to the brim with spores.
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Ninja Pichu

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Re: Blockedlance - An Empire to Last 1,000 Years
« Reply #1941 on: June 14, 2010, 03:51:29 pm »

Do you really want DF virgins? They don't have genitalia, and they're filled to the brim with spores.

Well, you do want to have the prime quality spores for prime quality sacrifices to armokchildren, and that's where you find 'em.

I've been following this thread as a guest for a long time, since around The Jewels of Life. Now that I'm finally signed up and stuff in that relative direction... I'd like a dwarf. A dorfy dorf. A dorf's dorf, if you will. Also, I am definitely not trying to stretch out this paragraph at all, definitely.

Name: Chare (Female)
Profession: Anything to do with stone or metal (Blacksmith, Weponsmith, Armoursmith, Miner, Mason, whatever.)

If I get in, I'd also like to see the profile for my character.

Rainbows make me cry, over.
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I had to imagine some badass scarred up dwarf with a battleaxe blade strapped directly to his arm over the stump.

Ze Spy

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Re: Blockedlance - An Empire to Last 1,000 Years
« Reply #1942 on: June 15, 2010, 09:27:10 pm »

hmmmmm , can't resist this , but....

Spy : "This is Ninja Pichu! Rainbows Make me Cry!"
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Ninja Pichu

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Re: Blockedlance - An Empire to Last 1,000 Years
« Reply #1943 on: June 16, 2010, 02:01:02 pm »

hmmmmm , can't resist this , but....

Spy : "This is Ninja Pichu! Rainbows Make me Cry!"

Scout: "Yeah, it's hard to backstab someone when he's beatin' your frickin' skull in, isn't it?"

I could not resist.
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I had to imagine some badass scarred up dwarf with a battleaxe blade strapped directly to his arm over the stump.

Ze Spy

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Re: Blockedlance - An Empire to Last 1,000 Years
« Reply #1944 on: June 16, 2010, 08:32:51 pm »

nah , the correct quote is :

"Hard to stab the guy in the back when hes beatin' ya freakin' head in eh?"

but i think i better stop going off topic before someone decides to beat me to death with a golf trophy(reference to "Meet the Sniper")

also , since i am too impaitient to wait for raganrok to happen and start some kind of claustropic explosion that fucks up with the Soul Chamber and revives everyone dead , i am just going to request another one

Name : R. Ced Chlore
Role : i am Sacrificing Nobility for Momentuem and long-time survival , so anything that doesn't involve "Running up to someone and beating him to death with mud and shit and stuff , but i'll prefer Bowyer or wepon manufacturer

either that , or i'll just divide by zero and get my previous dwarf out of that hell cluster-fuck
« Last Edit: June 17, 2010, 09:13:55 am by Ze Spy »
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Ninja Pichu

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Re: Blockedlance - An Empire to Last 1,000 Years
« Reply #1945 on: June 17, 2010, 10:29:49 am »

nah , the correct quote is :

"Hard to stab the guy in the back when hes beatin' ya freakin' head in eh?"

but i think i better stop going off topic before someone decides to beat me to death with a golf trophy(reference to "Meet the Sniper")

also , since i am too impaitient to wait for raganrok to happen and start some kind of claustropic explosion that fucks up with the Soul Chamber and revives everyone dead , i am just going to request another one

Name : R. Ced Chlore
Role : i am Sacrificing Nobility for Momentuem and long-time survival , so anything that doesn't involve "Running up to someone and beating him to death with mud and shit and stuff , but i'll prefer Bowyer or wepon manufacturer

either that , or i'll just divide by zero and get my previous dwarf out of that hell cluster-fuck
Someone needs to make a machine fueled by nobles, right now.
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I had to imagine some badass scarred up dwarf with a battleaxe blade strapped directly to his arm over the stump.

Kaberton

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Re: Blockedlance - An Empire to Last 1,000 Years
« Reply #1946 on: June 19, 2010, 05:49:39 pm »

Oh, also, if you need any sort of story for my guy, just make him an asshole.
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TheSummoner

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Re: Blockedlance - An Empire to Last 1,000 Years
« Reply #1947 on: June 19, 2010, 07:06:51 pm »

So I read through this... all 130 pages... and its awesome... Its half the reason I registered on these forums.

If theres any room, could you add me?  Preferrably male, but female wouldn't bother me.  I'd like my Dwarf to be a sort of warrior priest... Mace wielder would be most appropriate, but hammer or axe would be fine.  As for a story, he could be a high ranking member of the church of Armok, though below the high priest and priestess of course.  Perhaps he could have a role in sacrifices... Gather a large number of prisoners and slaughter them all! Let the blood flow! That sort of thing.  He'd be a complete fanatic, blindly loyal to Armok and his chosen champion, Queen Urist.
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Ze Spy

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Re: Blockedlance - An Empire to Last 1,000 Years
« Reply #1948 on: June 19, 2010, 08:49:02 pm »

i got totally confused at your last sentence

if you ment what i was thinking , then you are totally thinking shit upside-down
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TheSummoner

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Re: Blockedlance - An Empire to Last 1,000 Years
« Reply #1949 on: June 19, 2010, 09:34:49 pm »

"He'd (My dwarf) be a complete fanatic, blindly loyal to Armok and his (Armok's) chosen champion, Queen Urist."
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