Queen Urist made her way to the surface after the great spring elf slaughter. There among the fly ridden bodies, she found the blasted elf that had caused this mess. She found the elf that had been fated to die inside the Temple of Armok. Of course, this time around he had died along the outer walls, under a heap of horses and his comrades. Urist grabbed his freshly lifeless body. Dwarves stopped and stared at the spectacle of the mad queen dragging the elf corpse into the center of the courtyard. She gave a short speech about how this was the fate of all those that opposed her rule, or her God. Then she set the elf corpse on fire, sacrificing him to Armok.
Meanwhile...in a more ethereal realm, the spirit of that very elf was just waking up. He was disoriented. He rubbed his eyes and looked about. All he saw was an empty barren rocky landscape. He stood up. Immediately upon standing he felt incredibly woozy.
"Oh my God I need to sit down!" he groaned as he put his hands to his head and stumbled to the ground. He sat there for a moment, before the pain of a jagged rock intruded his rest. "Blasted rocks!" He looked around again. He hadn't noticed it before, but there was a chair sitting not too far away. He dizzily made his way to the chair and plopped himself down in it. After a moment he tried to readjust himself in the chair, and then again.
"My heavens this chair is quite uncomfortable!" he shouted. He stood up and looked around. He hadnt noticed it, but there was ANOTHER chair not far away. "Oh, that one looks nice!"
He sat in the chair, but the cushion was lumpy. He found another chair, but it didnt even HAVE a cushion! Another chair was uncomfortably low to the ground, another was uncomfortably high...there were chairs that were to hot to sit on, chairs that were too cold. There were chairs made of stone, chairs made of wood, chairs made of soap....but all of them, every last one, was totally and completely uncomfortable.
It began to occur to him that he might never find somewhere comfortable to sit. Then it dawned on him where he was. It was the most damnable fate for an elf. "Oh my God! I'm in the Hell of Uncomfortable Chairs!!!"
He knew his soft elven ass would never know comfort again...his heart broke and he wept uncontrollably.
Author
Topic: Blockedlance - No More Stops Until Ragnarok! (Read 418647 times)