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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2126501 times)

werechicken

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3975 on: March 05, 2011, 05:14:19 pm »

This happened in a version before the underground stuff.

I was building a giant wall around the outside of my fort and channelling the brook as a moat. I managed to knick one of my storerooms that I'd had to dig into the sand by the brook because I needed areas without stone on the ground because I hadn't figured out what bins were for. Anyway the stock room flooded and, because nothing in my fortress had a door, everyone drowned.

This same fort had lost nearly 80% of it's population two winters previously when I realised that I needed a well and my dwarves kept eating the plumb helmets before they could be brewed.

All of that because I was trying to straighten a river.
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Kian

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3976 on: March 05, 2011, 11:50:14 pm »

So I made a new game in 31.19, to see what this lack of metals was like. I embark at a site with flux and deep metals, and find out it's all marble and gold. Well, the place will at least look pretty awesome once I start decorating with gold and marble, but it presents problems for making actual useful objects.

Suddenly, one of the dorfs gets possessed. A Weaponsmith, even. I quickly build a wood burner, smelter and forge (parent civ gave me a steel anvil) and smelt some gold for him. I'm thinking 'what kind of awesome, gold artifact weapon will I get'? A sword would be cool. Maybe an axe. Warhammer should hit like a ton of bricks. What does the possessed (so not even legendary after the item is built) bastard give me? Tathurmorul, "Scribepaged", a gold crossbow. Has an image of a clownfish.

Sure, it's nice, but I was hoping for something more dorfy for my first artifact, you know? Well, at least considering I have no metal, all my defence will have to be marksdwarves. Should be a nice weapon for my militia commander.
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MonkeyHead

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3977 on: March 06, 2011, 06:09:14 am »

and also very useful when he runs out of bolts and forces it through the skull of a tantruming child.
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Mobotium

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3978 on: March 06, 2011, 08:55:01 am »

First Dwarf death: Didn't notice my gemcrafter had walled himself in the room after building his workshop. Died of thirst after a few months.

I guess he was just retarded or someting but still...
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Yes he is... So the countess will never bread?
If she doesnt bread, let her cake.

FuzzyZergling

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3979 on: March 06, 2011, 12:38:55 pm »

First Dwarf death: Didn't notice my gemcrafter had walled himself in the room after building his workshop. Died of thirst after a few months.

I guess he was just retarded or someting but still...
I did the exact same thing on my last fort.
Damn gemcrafter's workshops, why do they have three impassable tiles in a row?
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Samuel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3980 on: March 06, 2011, 02:01:28 pm »

The first thing the goblins did when they arrived on the map was attack... each other.

Seriously. Just arrived an started killing each other.

Perhaps they felt ripped off that my fort would clearly not offer even the tiniest bit of a fight.
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Serrational

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3981 on: March 06, 2011, 03:27:47 pm »

The first thing the goblins did when they arrived on the map was attack... each other.

Seriously. Just arrived an started killing each other.
You may have the infamous "civil war" glitch, in whitch two goblin events occur during each other, causing the goblins to just... go nuts...
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I figured the guy was a goner too when a noseless bat from hell flew right over the fortifications and attacked.

Icee77

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3982 on: March 06, 2011, 03:31:15 pm »

Um, one time i was making a channel when i found out that my fortress stretches out EVERYWHERE.
Urist Mcstupid:GUHUHUH! funny wator!
Urist Mcstupid has Drowned.
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Cotes

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3983 on: March 06, 2011, 04:49:20 pm »

What I learned today:

- Never try to pump directly from a river without walling the operator's seat from the output tile first.  "-Slippery when wet-".

- Channeling out an aquifer in freezing wheather: Dig, jump, wet, cold.
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Well if you remove the [MULTIPLE_LITTER_RARE] tag from dwarves I think they have like 2-4 children each time they give birth. And if you get enough mothers up on the pillars you can probably get a good waterfall going.
Ashes are technically fire-safe.

Mr. Argent

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3984 on: March 06, 2011, 07:27:14 pm »

So, i took several minutes searching to find the perfect embark spot, set up all my dwarves and starting equipment to pretty much be optimal, and got the "Strike the earth!" speech, then i started the game.

SUDDENLY ALLIGATORS. Right off the bat, two of my dwarves and some animals dead. I had spawned right next to some alligators. Let's hope i can recover...
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Urist McVenom Cancels strange mood: Being exiled.

Vastin

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3985 on: March 07, 2011, 12:19:04 pm »

Had a nice secure fortress. No trouble to date. No snatchers or anything.

Decided to expand the outer wall to encompass some more pasture space, and mostly did so without risking integrity, except for one phase of the project that was going to last about 1 minute.

Ambush! Vile tree hugging elves and their #$%@ giant war-tigers explode out of no-where.

I then discover moments later that not only are my surface walls compromised with 1/2 my dwarves in the open, but I forgot to affix an emergency hatch on my newly dug second access tunnel. No squads available yet except for the miner militia. Now we're really having fun.
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Bralbaard

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3986 on: March 07, 2011, 02:47:51 pm »

I had a large battle underground, the entire military of my young, 25 dwarves strong fortress was involved. I expected to get into big trouble because my army relies on bone and leather armor since I don't have access to metal. Despite my fears I actually secured a perfect victory, no losses and no serious injuries, but nevertheless three of my best soldiers check into the hospital with some minor bruises, and scratches. I micromanage dwarf job assignments to make sure that all medical personal is free to help them get back on their feet as quickly as possible. It all works splendidly, the diagnoser quickly checks the wounds, dwarves are running with bandages, soap, water, and food, and it looks like all scheduled treatments are finished within days of arrival.

Satisfied I check their health status to see how they are doing, only to have a facepalm moment. Apparently I had forgotten to build a well, so my medical staff used water from the nearby stagnant pond to wash the soldier's wounds. All of them have infected wounds now, and are unlikely to recover.
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Flying Dice

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3987 on: March 07, 2011, 08:23:40 pm »

Embarked on a map with an aquifer. I think "no big deal, I'll set up my top level then build some pumps to drain it." I order the dig on the initial tunnel. 3 tiles in I breach the aquifer and flood the map.  ::)
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Aurora on small monitors:
1. Game Parameters -> Reduced Height Windows.
2. Lock taskbar to the right side of your desktop.
3. Run Resize Enable

JujuBubu

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3988 on: March 08, 2011, 05:06:26 am »

I dug into a 3 level aquifer from below and flooded the first cavern, which allready was a underground ocean or lake.

Then I savescummed the wrong folder.

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Grax

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3989 on: March 08, 2011, 02:07:14 pm »

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Finis sanctificat media.
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