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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2130779 times)

UnrealJake

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4200 on: April 07, 2011, 03:58:11 am »

Oh hey, the Elves are here, last time I got an ambush so I'll just make sure all my dwarves are inside incase anything get's spotted! The momeny I unpaused "A vile force of darkness has arived", there were about a dozen lashers so I figured my military [Who I was trying to deck out in full steel, I HAD the armour but they decided those bronze high boots looked just SO much nicer on them] wouldn't do any good, I ordered my hunter onto the battlements.

He charges up there, right from his bed to the walls, ready to rain death upon the goblin invaders.... and stands there. The moment he was called to a station, he dropped his quiver and also got a different crossbow... Mong.
So I called him off, he changed his cross bow back and picked up a quiver. Maybe this time it will work. The lashers are milling around the raised draw bridge scratching thier heads and dodging all my stone fall traps, and now...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBWtvkQDeM4

Imagine that, with a dwarf tearing off his clothes, running around with a steel shield and nothing else. Grabbing a crossbow from the bowyers, running up to the armoury for a helmet, back down to the leather works for armour and then to the armoury, rinse and repeat untill he's at the walls and the seige has buggered off.
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Huochong sounds like what you hear when a ninja hits somebody with a frying pan.

"HUOOOOOOOOOO-"
*CHONG*

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4201 on: April 07, 2011, 11:58:07 am »

Hunters have their own uniforms for their job, just like miners and woodcutters. So when you activate them, they think "Oh, I should trade my civilian crossbow for a military crossbow, and my quiver and ammunition should be switched too."
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Oliolli

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4202 on: April 07, 2011, 01:08:41 pm »

A moody weaponsmith of mine made my fortress' SECOND adamantine crossbow! What's up with them?!?!?
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UnrealJake

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4203 on: April 07, 2011, 01:13:23 pm »

Hunters have their own uniforms for their job, just like miners and woodcutters. So when you activate them, they think "Oh, I should trade my civilian crossbow for a military crossbow, and my quiver and ammunition should be switched too."

I realised that while it was happening, but it didn't really help... I just kinda swore at him a little.

His name was Urist, no surprise there.
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Huochong sounds like what you hear when a ninja hits somebody with a frying pan.

"HUOOOOOOOOOO-"
*CHONG*

gzoker

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4204 on: April 07, 2011, 03:03:25 pm »

Playing for three and a half years without any invaders, then remembering that i turned them off.
Save. Turn them on. Reload. Half of the population killed by first ambush squad of the goblin army. Some dwarfs tried to reload the cage traps in the entrance, others tried to get their dirty hands on some loot. (damn you sock!)

Tomorrow morning i decided i leave that save in peace for a few days, and start another fort.
Well, i spent five hours browsing locations, revealing, prospecting them, looking for the perfect spot. I want to build a dam, and an artificial lake, and a nice big fort under it,and have at least bronze and silver to mine, and a magma pipe not too deep.

I settled for a 5*5 spot in mountains, and badlands, and it has perfect terrain for my project. and the magma pipe wasn't too deep either - best i could find was 120 levels deep - this one just 30, so plus points at embark.
Soon as i embarked, i found out that an unspokeable creature liked this place too. Fortunately there was a door on his lair, and i forbid it. my mason just build a wall there for safety, and MWUHAHAHHA problem solved.

Then i started designated my fortress. All. at. once. and i didn't unpaused yet. I spent roughly another four-five hours designating everything.
so when i finished it, and hit space, two alligators eat everyone.

I haven't noticed them in the stream three tiles away from the wagon. XD
almost ten hour of "work" for forty seconds of actual play     -     best fort ever
so quite a few FACEPALMS there

i tried reclaiming, and he is gone, my unspeakable horror he is, not to mention the two named alligator, one nameless is still there though

will they come back?
« Last Edit: April 07, 2011, 03:05:28 pm by gzoker »
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Sidhien

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4205 on: April 07, 2011, 06:26:10 pm »

"...still, I can't help but feel like I'm forgetting som-Oh god. Urist! URIST STOP!!! We have enough doors!"
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Newbunkle

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4206 on: April 07, 2011, 06:47:37 pm »

"...still, I can't help but feel like I'm forgetting som-Oh god. Urist! URIST STOP!!! We have enough doors!"

Hahaha. Reminds me of the time I tried to queue up a hundred bins using the job manager and got a hundred cabinets instead.
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zwei

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4207 on: April 08, 2011, 03:33:27 am »

I haven't noticed them in the stream three tiles away from the wagon. XD
almost ten hour of "work" for forty seconds of actual play     -     best fort ever
so quite a few FACEPALMS there

i tried reclaiming, and he is gone, my unspeakable horror he is, not to mention the two named alligator, one nameless is still there though

will they come back?

This is why i design forts in graphical editor and then use tool to convert images to designations.

GamerKnight

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4208 on: April 08, 2011, 04:19:37 am »

"...still, I can't help but feel like I'm forgetting som-Oh god. Urist! URIST STOP!!! We have enough doors!"

Hahaha. Reminds me of the time I tried to queue up a hundred bins using the job manager and got a hundred cabinets instead.

Try 90 stone floodgates. I was really tired that morning. I eventually used them to drain water from the river, but my heart just wasn't in it anymore.
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tehc

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4209 on: April 08, 2011, 10:10:48 am »

I decided to give a coffer and cabinet to all 220 dwarves in an old fort.

The masons were annoyed when I atomsmashed 220 coffins, as about a third were masterpieces.
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jmancube

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4210 on: April 08, 2011, 11:50:08 am »

I built a pretty nice fortress, with just about everything set up and going well. I had my workshops churning out products, and had a nice armor and weapons for my future army. I figured that I would get my army going pretty soon, but until then I just planned on using walls and a bridge to keep the goblins out. So when the first goblin ambush came, I smiled, and told my dwarves to get inside. I then pulled the lever to raise the bridge, thinking myself smarter than the silly goblins. Until the bridge didn't raise.... I built the lever and bridge, but unknown to me, the masons decided that hooking the two up was far less important than smoothing walls. After that, I learned to make absolutely sure that levers were hooked up and that I have dedicated mechanics.
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UnrealJake

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4211 on: April 08, 2011, 01:20:56 pm »

I was annoyed at the lack of wild life to slaughter on my map, and when a flock of geese sailed over the lake, it felt like they were teasing me. I went back to irrigating some more farms and building a [useless] tower in the center of my fort, and noticed a combat log popped up. I checked it to see a goose had its head caved in by some traps I placed by the lake [Incase of amphibious mounts] and laughed. A swarm of mechanics then ran out [Along with a very cheeky hunter with the job "Return kill"] to load the traps...

A vile swarm of darkness! Yeah, sieged. The nearest squad was thankfully just milling around and I ordered all my dwarves inside without any attacking, the goblins were busy killing geese. I was ready to pull up the drawr bridge when I saw one lone child run outside... I panicked and cancelled the order, and waited to see if he would do anything... he charged on blindly. At this point I just said screw him, and ordered the lever pulled. My military stationed at the gates then charged outside, along with a huge pack of war dogs...

Yeah. Facepalm.
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Huochong sounds like what you hear when a ninja hits somebody with a frying pan.

"HUOOOOOOOOOO-"
*CHONG*

Samuel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4212 on: April 08, 2011, 02:41:00 pm »

"Some migrants have arrived, despite the danger." Is what it said.

"Some migrants have arrived, despite the army of demons reducing the world to ash." Is what it should have said.
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shadenight123

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4213 on: April 08, 2011, 04:44:44 pm »

the merchants have settled down.
*anyone may trade*
...
...
the merchants are embarking on their journey.
...
...
"zzzzzz huh? not my fault chief, we were all sleepy, and hungry, and thirsty, and we love Smoothing stone. And engraving it. And you know, carpentry and the like, and hauling is tough too..."
...
... magma for all of you.
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SimRobert2001

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4214 on: April 09, 2011, 01:05:21 am »

the merchants have settled down.
*anyone may trade*
...
...
the merchants are embarking on their journey.
...
...
"zzzzzz huh? not my fault chief, we were all sleepy, and hungry, and thirsty, and we love Smoothing stone. And engraving it. And you know, carpentry and the like, and hauling is tough too..."
...
... magma for all of you.

Put anyone to trade, and then make the trade depot its own burrow.  And then assign a random dwarf to said burrow.
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