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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 4529572 times)

dragdeler

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #119130 on: April 19, 2019, 05:03:43 am »

Quasi bilingual? Don't sell yourself short! Funnily enough I scored c2 in german, french and english... And your english might be better than mine  :P... My dutch is in the B's and yeah I feel like I barely speak two words, kind of worrysome the germans would allow that.


c1 is a whole other story though, I don't know what kind of teacher actually scores that

HmH

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #119131 on: April 19, 2019, 05:12:45 am »


UPD: Hid the post under a spoiler, since it's technically offtopic. If anyone wants to continue this discussion, I'll be looking for their post in the religion thread.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2019, 05:30:11 am by HmH »
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Arx

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #119132 on: April 19, 2019, 05:14:51 am »

I suggest you guys take this to the religion thread if you wish to continue it further.
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HmH

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #119133 on: April 19, 2019, 05:20:12 am »

I suggest you guys take this to the religion thread if you wish to continue it further.
Yeah, sorry, should have done that. Putting my previous post under a spoiler so it doesn't take up space and annoy future readers.

Kagus

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #119134 on: April 19, 2019, 01:14:53 pm »

Point: "I feel awful and stagnant in a life that I feel I've completely squandered with nothing to show for it"

Counterpoint: "So learn a skill or improve yourself in some way"

Point: "But I don't have the interest to pick any specific thing, or the motivation to develop it without that interest"

Counterpoint: "Pick something general, like working out and improving your body"

Point: "If I do that, I might fail to make any noticeable improvement and end up feeling even worse because I couldn't actually make things better by focusing on that solution"

Counterpoint: "There's only one way to find out about that though"

Point: "Yeah, but what if I'm right?"

Counterpoint: "Well, shit."



So, today's been fun. I spent 12 minutes playing a computer game, because that's better than staring at the wall. Then I stared at the wall.

Th4DwArfY1

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #119135 on: April 19, 2019, 01:22:28 pm »

Do not underestimate the power of endorphins. I started exercising on a bi-daily basis and, whilst results have thus far been negligible, I tend to feel much more relaxed, content and alert.
After the initial "oh lord make it stop my muscles have been pulverised" tries.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2019, 01:24:10 pm by Th4DwArfY1 »
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #119136 on: April 19, 2019, 02:17:46 pm »

So I had a conversation with my "boss" (technically not my  as I'm still a consultant/attending, which means that strictly speaking I *am*  part of the management).  Got some tirade about how what happened is that I was not able to convey to the board that I had a good long term plan for this place, and thats why I was not suited to get a permanent position, but that my professional competence is not in question and that they'd very much lile to keep me around and there is another post next year and blah blah.

Its all bollocks of course. They had a domestic candidate and because of obvious politics they had to ensure said candidate got the post instead of me. Therefore they made sure I was pilloried in that interview. Now, since I reacted far more angrily than they expected (because the Johnny Foreigner they are used to deal with will put up with anything because they have no money, they're visa reliant and afraid of being deported, and are easily replaced), they're suddenly worried that their scheudles for the next six months are under threat. And thus they're backtracking on their shit.  I do believe my skills are truly not under question though. I've been managing the clinical plans of patients as I see fit for months. Truly my biggest problem has been the lack of support in this place. I've people requiring chemo languising in peripheral hospitals because we can't get beds for them  >:(

Anyways, I agreed that I would not make snap decisions concerning my departure. In exchange I improved my working conditions.

I *probably* wont stick around for long anyway but I'll do this on a different scheudle.



I havent forgiven them for what transpired, though. If there is something that irks me is besmirching my professional competence. I know it was just an excuse and if it hadnt been this it would hsve been something else. But this was... big. For.me  it changes the working relationship permanently. I spend way too much time and make a lot of sacrifices to provide the care I feel people deserve. People coming for my clinic have horrible health problems, horrible personal problems, and dont really take care of themselves. But they have utter trust in what I can do and I go out of my way to live up to that trust. Attacks on this... well. I've been dizzy with pure rage several.times this week, actually needing tlnsit down
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Kagus

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #119137 on: April 19, 2019, 02:30:45 pm »

Do not underestimate the power of endorphins. I started exercising on a bi-daily basis and, whilst results have thus far been negligible, I tend to feel much more relaxed, content and alert.
After the initial "oh lord make it stop my muscles have been pulverised" tries.
This would of course be slightly easier if I didn't loathe every second of my time spent inside of a gym. And if I didn't leave every session feeling ashamed, weak, and hopeless.

I've considered the possibility of getting a set of free weights, but I have no idea if that would actually be better. Or worth the expense/space/weight.

HugoLuman

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #119138 on: April 19, 2019, 02:38:59 pm »

Had a therapist appointment today. Managed to talk a lot about the incident on wednesday and I felt listened to and understood at least. Though we didn't really get into solutions for communicating with the one who hurt me, and I didn't bring up the self harm. Not that I was trying to hide it, mind, just spent so much time talking about the other aspects of what happened.

It helped overall I guess, but I'm still pretty raw about what happened.
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Th4DwArfY1

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #119139 on: April 19, 2019, 03:22:20 pm »

Do not underestimate the power of endorphins. I started exercising on a bi-daily basis and, whilst results have thus far been negligible, I tend to feel much more relaxed, content and alert.
After the initial "oh lord make it stop my muscles have been pulverised" tries.
This would of course be slightly easier if I didn't loathe every second of my time spent inside of a gym. And if I didn't leave every session feeling ashamed, weak, and hopeless.

I've considered the possibility of getting a set of free weights, but I have no idea if that would actually be better. Or worth the expense/space/weight.
Oh, going to the gym sounds expensive and a hassle. I've been gradually building up to what I'm now doing, which is 30 squats, 10 pressups, 26 lunges, 60 weights (literally using a heavy toolbox of my dad's), a 30 second plank, and 40 situps. I then do that two more times.

Needless to say, start with enough to push yourself and build on that. I never feel like doing it before I start, but I always feel great after.
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hector13

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #119140 on: April 19, 2019, 03:47:08 pm »

I mean, at the risk of doing the whole “all you depressives need is fresh air and exercise” shite, you could just go for a walk, too. Movement is good for a bunch of things.

Also, sounds like some unpleasant negative self-talk too. The counter-point should’ve been “what if I’m wrong?” :p

But yeah, that’s a hard one to get out of. It takes a lot of paying attention to your mood, and how you feel physically, and how you’re thinking, and another thing I can’t remember ( there is a fourth thing to that now, right?) and then making efforts to change enough of that to enact a change in your attitude and behavior (behavior, that was it!) and sort yourself into something livable, I guess.

It has taken me years and I’m still working on it. My major problem was what I termed the spin cycle, ‘cause I went round in my head with thoughts and got steadily more aggravated, and then being that aggravated would sap all my energy, which was unfortunate as being tired and feeling down are now tied together for me.
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HugoLuman

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #119141 on: April 19, 2019, 04:05:57 pm »

Can confirm, exercise can be a real help with mood. Though the main thing is arresting negative self-talk. Which takes some practice if you've fallen into the pattern, but is always possible.
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MaximumZero

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #119142 on: April 19, 2019, 11:02:22 pm »

Had to go most of the day without painkillers. That sucked. Thankfully, I was able to get a refill on my prescription today. That said, I have been making sure to only take them when I need to, and I made my last 11 day supply (90 pills,) last 18 days.
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HugoLuman

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #119143 on: April 19, 2019, 11:23:36 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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