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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1500599 times)

Oaktree

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5070 on: July 12, 2013, 08:43:24 pm »

Dear Moody Urist McArmorer,

There is no adamantine.  There never was any adamantine.  There will never be any adamantine here.  EVER.

It does not matter that you like it.  It will NOT appear.  So please quit whining, grab some other metal to decorate that piece of steel with, and get on with it!

 >:(
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Armorer McUrist cancels forge steel mailshirt, interrupted by minecart

ElenaRoan

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5071 on: July 13, 2013, 02:19:47 am »

Dear Urist McMasonMother

I have a fairly relaxed attitude towards babies brought along to work. However leaving your baby on the wall designation that is part of the walling off the caverns defense is not an appropriate place as if that piece of wall is built it results in the baby becoming part of the wall. While some might find this a rather amusing defense against the cavern creatures I do not. Please retrieve your baby so construction can resume.

- bemused
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Someone, get the bug zapper! What do you mean that won't work on a bug the size of a house which glows? No, I don't want to hear it. Just get the damn zapper.

Larix

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5072 on: July 13, 2013, 02:48:22 am »

Dear Moody Urist McArmorer,

There is no adamantine.  There never was any adamantine.  There will never be any adamantine here.  EVER.

It does not matter that you like it.  It will NOT appear.  So please quit whining, grab some other metal to decorate that piece of steel with, and get on with it!

 >:(

Is the armourer actually asking for adamantine specifically(x)? Outside of mods, asking for a specific metal instead of just 'metal bars' _only_ happens for the base material of the artefact, not the decorations, and _only_ if your fort has actually produced bars of that metal already. The armourer probably is missing something else.

(x) while DFHack's showmood is great for checking what the dwarf _will_ ask for, it's important to check their progress in the game itself, by checking the claimed building via 'q' (if the dwarf is stuck waiting for a material, to display the in-game demands) and comparing with the i't'ems inside the workshop (items reserved for the mood should be at the bottom of the item list, with the [TSK] tag next to them).
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Oaktree

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5073 on: July 13, 2013, 03:19:39 pm »

Dear Moody Urist McArmorer,

There is no adamantine.  There never was any adamantine.  There will never be any adamantine here.  EVER.

It does not matter that you like it.  It will NOT appear.  So please quit whining, grab some other metal to decorate that piece of steel with, and get on with it!

 >:(

Is the armourer actually asking for adamantine specifically(x)? Outside of mods, asking for a specific metal instead of just 'metal bars' _only_ happens for the base material of the artefact, not the decorations, and _only_ if your fort has actually produced bars of that metal already. The armourer probably is missing something else.

(x) while DFHack's showmood is great for checking what the dwarf _will_ ask for, it's important to check their progress in the game itself, by checking the claimed building via 'q' (if the dwarf is stuck waiting for a material, to display the in-game demands) and comparing with the i't'ems inside the workshop (items reserved for the mood should be at the bottom of the item list, with the [TSK] tag next to them).

He was explicitly waiting for adamantine as the initial material.  I mistook a steel bar already sitting there as part of the process, but it had no [TSK] tag.

And the fort has produced none.  It's a 2x2 embark that has zero spires of that ore available.
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Armorer McUrist cancels forge steel mailshirt, interrupted by minecart

InfinityOrNone

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5074 on: July 13, 2013, 09:30:56 pm »

Dear Urist McMiner,

Why do you only channel in a T-D L-R fashion? Particularly when you are channeling a hollow 101 to 121 square?
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jamesadelong

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5075 on: July 13, 2013, 10:29:50 pm »

Dear: Dworfs
From: Mission Control
RE: The Recent Return of Mission Control

I leave for just a little over a year. A year without me killing and slaughtering you for your mistakes. A year of prosperity. You had all the time in the world to figure out how to work in a professional and non-sucicidal manner. You failed. You have failed not only myself, but your families, the entire kingdom and the world at large. Even the goblins feel a little ashamed.

Remedial action has been taken. Mission control will retake command and you shall be brought back into line.

P.S
You dworfs are going to give me an aneurysm.
 
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Dwarf Fortress: where good advice confuses new players and bad advice makes the Geneva Conventions scream out in pain.

WanderingKid

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5076 on: July 14, 2013, 04:07:26 am »

Urist,

Legendary Hunter and now Legendary Tanner.  I appreciate that you tried to help the fortress out.

But why by Bloodied Armok would you make a SINGLE glove?  *facepalm*

WanderingKid

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5077 on: July 14, 2013, 05:35:18 am »

Oye!  You, Overseer.  Yeah, c'mere.

I know you're the overfiend and all but for Armok's sake you just dropped a crapload of beer barrels on us in the dump!  Yeah, baroness too!  The bookkeeper's bloody glasses are found underneat this 'ere stone throne, we think the rest of him is under that pile of chairs over there.

Don't go unforbidding the booze in the dump when you're droppin' more in next time, 'eh?

- Ghost of a hauler

Overfiend: Well... crap.  Poor dorfs.

InfinityOrNone

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5078 on: July 19, 2013, 01:10:06 am »

Dear Urist McRangerFail,

You have a crossbow and there's a pile of bolts less than 40 paces from you. This is your fault. And the berserking waxworker's fault. Mostly yours.
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Maul_Junior

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5079 on: July 19, 2013, 02:04:32 pm »

Dear Overseer:

we understand that you're having a lot of fun with bridges that turn into walls, but please understand that if you want a two-part bridge that folds down from either side......and with one side that has access either from across the bridge you just had us take down or from a bridge door that you had us CLOSE........that we cannot really do much.

We're building a new lever to open the door so we can get at the far side of the two-part bridge.

Next time, please plan ahead better.

or just plan ahead.

Thank you for your time,

Urist McHanic
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Quote from: Meph
I didn't actually say this.

Quote from: smurfingtonthethird
there is nothing funnier than watching a goblin army get assaulted by hundreds of war chickens.

Any new discovery, sufficiently weaponize, is indistinguishable from !!FUN!!

thoushaltcallmelars

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5080 on: July 19, 2013, 02:41:35 pm »

Dear Urist McFloodgatebuilder

That reservoir is fueled only by seasonal rains. For the love of Armok, will you build the Floodgates BEFORE the water rises enough to suspend construction? And while your at it... BUILD THEM FROM THE RIGHT SIDE INSTEAD OF THE FROM THE LEFT YOU ELF-FOR-BRAINS!

Rather annoyed,
Overseer Lars
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Overseer Lars cancels Fortress Mode; Raging at his own stupidity.

Suffice to say, I shall forever associate all dyers with Bomrek Romekas, The Dyer, who slew four dwarves (and wounded a speardwarf) and a wardog while alive, without weapons, armor, or even clothing, before rising from the dead to rip three dwarves' limbs off. Wasn't even combat with the ghost, just "<ghost> batters <dwarf>" and I look and there's a leg, a sock, and a pool of blood.

the1337doofus

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5081 on: July 19, 2013, 07:43:10 pm »

A notice to all fortress freeloaders commies employees;

All, and we mean ALL employees are to work throughout the day, be it simple hauling of stones to mechanics. Just because you've been working nonstop since the beginning of the month does not mean you can laze around while there is work to be done. Now, get back to work you lazy bums, or we shall order the stills to stop.

- Zeh Management
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Quote from: /k/
Multiple babies means that the force is distributed per baby, so less force total per baby.
burning dwarves is a sign of productivity

edgefigaro

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5082 on: July 19, 2013, 07:51:46 pm »

Dear Newly Appointed Urist McMayor.

I applaud your recent ascention to the highest non-overseer leadership post of the fortress. You must understand, I was fond of your incredibly strong, durable, and fast marksdwarf captain predecessor, but I understand how politics are, and was waiting to see how your tenure would proceed.

Your first request has been for catapult parts.

I also notice that you are weak, frail, but very fast. For you, Urist McMayor, I have created a special squad. I believe that your humble stature may prove to be disarming towards those hostile to the fortress, and wish for you to go and meet them, so that you may broker peace.

Yours Truly

Your Supportive Overseer.
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Slayerhero90

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5083 on: July 19, 2013, 10:03:43 pm »

Dear Newly Appointed Urist McMayor.

I applaud your recent ascention to the highest non-overseer leadership post of the fortress. You must understand, I was fond of your incredibly strong, durable, and fast marksdwarf captain predecessor, but I understand how politics are, and was waiting to see how your tenure would proceed.

Your first request has been for catapult parts.

I also notice that you are weak, frail, but very fast. For you, Urist McMayor, I have created a special squad. I believe that your humble stature may prove to be disarming towards those hostile to the fortress, and wish for you to go and meet them, so that you may broker peace.

Yours Truly

Your Supportive Overseer.
Just manually reelect the old one.
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Larix

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5084 on: July 20, 2013, 02:55:32 am »

Or just produce the bloody catapult parts. With 50+ dwarfs, sacrificing maybe two logs per season to fulfil a mayor's fancies is really cheap and convenient noble maintenance, and you won't even notice an export ban. With mayors, you can also drag your feet about fulfilling production mandates a bit. You can even construct catapults in much-travelled places for your population (and mayor) to admire.

Heh, i just find murderating a noble simply over _making_ a mandate or demand a massive over-reaction. Now, if someone suffered "justice"  as a result of a particularly fiendish or ill-timed mandate, that'd be different...
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