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PULL THE LEVER? [Y/N]

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Author Topic: FailCannon: No Rest for the Wicked (or anyone else) (Succession: Battlefailed 2)  (Read 469434 times)

CatalystParadox

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1455 on: August 05, 2011, 12:56:51 am »

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS GLORIOUS.

Can you post the still-alive dwarves, and what crimes they're accused of?

Gladly!

Karakzon - Militia Captain.  No charges.
That Aussie Dwarf - Aspiring Noble.  No charges.
Grov - Alchemist.  No charges.
The True Mekboy - Engraver.  Accused of Disorderly Conduct (against Scaraban), and Violation of a Production Order (against Mosus Zulbanoggez, whoever that is).
Lord Slowpoke - Magnificent Bastard.  No charges.
Dariush III - Awesome Soldier.  Accused of Violation of a Production Order (against Dariush, ironically)
Mipe - Dancing Dagger.  No charges.
Elderont - Brewer.  Accused of Disorderly Conduct (2 counts, against DorvenEngineering and TerrisH)
Kaamanen - Combat Surgeon.  Accused of Building Destruction and Disorderly Conduct (against DorvenEngineering).
Nightmarebros - Animal Caretaker.  No charges.
arcangelsd - Farmer.  No charges.
Gilgameshclone - Dwarven Child.  No charges.
Seraphin - Homicidal Poker.  Accused of Building Destruction.
Uristein - !!Scientist!!.  Accused of Building Destruction.
Xenos - Farmer.  No charges.
DorvenEngineering - Miner.  Accused of Building Destruction (2 counts).
lupusater - Metalsmith.  Accused of Building Destruction, Disorderly Conduct (against Nightmarebros), and Violation of Production Order (against Andreus XI).
Ledi V - Militia Captain.  No charges.
Flagrarus - Metalsmith.  Accused of Building Destruction.
Aik - Captain of the Guard.  Accused of Disorderly Conduct (against Urist Imiknorris).
Takua - The Chronicler.  Accused of Building Destruction.
Tupu - Champion.  No charges.
Greader - Stoneworker.  Accused of Building Destruction (2 counts).
Megaman3321 - PAINBRINGER.  No charges.
Glacial - Apprentice Mage.  Accused of Building Destruction and Disorderly Conduct (against The True Mekboy).
Mormota - Militia Captain.  No charges.
Sprout - Surgeon.  Accused of Vandalism, and Disorderly Conduct (2 counts, both against Ahrimahn).
DuckThatQuacks - Axedwarf (newly discovered talent).  Accused of fucking murdering half my dwarves, bastard.  Also Disorderly Conduct (2 counts, against Xellas and arcangelsd).

There are also about 4x that many more names on the Justice screen who are accused of crimes but also dead. 

I really wish I could simply declare a blanket pardon, then martial law to be enforced by Tupu and Aik.  Alas, it seems those two are more interested in sleeping through the whole thing, and the rest will carry their vicious blood feuds to the bitter end.  Seth... you said something about a prison being constructed?  I can find no sign of it.

Maybe that's what all the building destruction is about....
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

CatalystParadox

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1456 on: August 05, 2011, 01:18:31 am »

Oh sweet Armok.  I've found the reason.  This is bad.

Some of our Dwarves have renounced their membership in The Sword of Boots, and declared themselves enemies.  So far I've found this to be true of Andreus (before he died) Greader, Takua, and DuckThatQuacks.

What we're seeing is an honest-to-Urist schism in the civilization. A war of secession.  On the plus side, it looks like its nearly been put down.

On the minus side I also just noticed Aik is off to pull a lever.  I'll figure out what chaos is going to come of that, next time!
« Last Edit: August 05, 2011, 11:21:04 am by CatalystParadox »
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

ThatAussieGuy

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1457 on: August 05, 2011, 01:32:32 am »

Quote
The fight soon spilled to involve an Alchemist named Grov trading shots with Andreus as well, as That Aussie Dwarf slunk off somewhere after suffering one ineffectual potshot.

That Aussie Dwarf - Aspiring Noble.  No charges.

Heheheh. My dwarf may be back on his feet, but he's evidently not stupid.  I think my dwarf might even be living up to his new title and scheming for control.   He's avoided all the major riots, helped kill the latest Andreu (kinda) and he's heavily armed.   Anyone want to question his inevitable nobility and authority?

Karakzon

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1458 on: August 05, 2011, 03:04:12 am »

bahaha. wish i had a turn, but i doubt itll make it up to turn 34.

Whos most likely to go on a rampage next i wonder? and can you somehow segregate the rouge dwarves from the normal ones?
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rridgway

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1459 on: August 05, 2011, 03:18:21 am »

I don't suppose you have any unnamed dwarves in the fortress? If so, I'd like to reiterate my dorfing request.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2011, 03:20:34 am by rridgway »
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Sinpwn

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1460 on: August 05, 2011, 03:18:52 am »

I am only slightly disappointed that my dwarf didn't get in on the action. I wonder how he got injured in the first place.

Add me to the turn list please, chances are my computer can handle the save.
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arcangelsd

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1461 on: August 05, 2011, 05:19:06 am »

Didn't SethCreyd say something about a standing military order to kill anoteher dwarf?
That may have started the spiral...

YAY I'M A LANDMARK
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Did we just made reality itself commit suicide?
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Savolainen5

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1462 on: August 05, 2011, 05:48:39 am »

Oh sweet Armok.  I've found the reason.  This is bad.

Some of our Dwarves have renounced their membership in The Sword of Boots, and declared themselves enemies.  So far I've found this to be true of Andreus (before he died) Greader, Takua, and DuckThatQuacks.

What we're seeing is an honest-to-Urist schism in the civilization. A war of succession.  On the plus side, it looks like its nearly been put down

By Armok, how the hell is that even possible?
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ThatAussieGuy

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1463 on: August 05, 2011, 05:52:51 am »

Oh sweet Armok.  I've found the reason.  This is bad.

Some of our Dwarves have renounced their membership in The Sword of Boots, and declared themselves enemies.  So far I've found this to be true of Andreus (before he died) Greader, Takua, and DuckThatQuacks.

What we're seeing is an honest-to-Urist schism in the civilization. A war of succession.  On the plus side, it looks like its nearly been put down

By Armok, how the hell is that even possible?

Have you forgotten just what fortress you're in?

Savolainen5

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1464 on: August 05, 2011, 06:17:54 am »

Pyramid

Quote

Have you forgotten just what fortress you're in?

Pyramid Quote.

No, though I wish I had.  I mean, game mechanics-wise.
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A small creature sometimes found on paper.  It is small.  Its eyes are black. It is adored by children for its cuteness.
(On a picture of cavies):
We see a family of small land rodents.
Dwarfs see masterpiece roasts.

Strategia

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1465 on: August 05, 2011, 08:39:40 am »

Personal journal of Strategia Staffdanced, Cheesemaker and Marksdwarf-under-Duress


Entry 2 - Not an Armok-damned clue when
No cheese! Not a single chunk! The insolence! Does that worthless administrator know nothing about me and my cheeses? I used to be vital for Graspedseduce's survival! All of my famous cave lichen brie was sealed away in a secure underground vault, as last-ditch emergency food stocks! My singular batch of elven gorgonzola (made with real distilled elf extract!) was given to the goblins as a peace offering! (Though I never got the specifics - the siegedwarfs manning those particular catapults were never allowed within the walls of the city again. Must've been sent as ambassadors or something.) Armokdammit, it's even a part of who, of what, we are: A short, sturdy creature fond of drink, cheese and industry!


This cannot stand. This is no civilisation. A fortress without cheese is a fortress of barbarians - and no self-respecting dwarf must be forced to live among barbarians. I must correct this. I will correct this. And since I am apparently not allowed to make cheese, by the order of the barbarian-in-chief, I must proceed to put Failcannon's dwarfs out of their misery! For civilisation! For Failcannon! For CHEESE!


P.S. I looked up "ecdysiast" in the dwarftionary. No longer that impressed with Great-Great-Grandma Urist.


(The rest of the journal is covered in blood and the occasional bit of organ meat - which would've made a fine veteran's emmentaler, had anyone bothered to notice)






[OOC] - Thus ends the brief, but eventful life of Strategia Staffdanced, Cheesemaker and Marksdwarf-under-Duress. I hope she comes back as a ghost, to haunt the halls of Failcannon until someone carves her a memorial slab with an image of cheese on it, menacing with spikes of cheese. Whether or not that happens, I'd like to be redorfed, as an immigrant cheesemaker, preferably of high skill if possible. Gender and other miscellaneae matter not.

CatalystParadox

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1466 on: August 05, 2011, 10:17:04 am »

AussieGuy - You're not wrong.  I've been watching him closely, and he's been REMARKABLE so far at eluding psycho-dwarfs that seem to be coming right for him.  Next I know he'll be pulling random levers and mandating adamantine cockrings.  Truly living the life.

Sinpwn - Look at it this way, you've joined a proud tradition of unexplained random deaths!

arcangelsd - You were a landmark.  After the first month someone, unbelievably, apparently found the time to carry you to a bed.  Actually, at the moment of last saving the rebels were encroaching on the overcrowded hospital, and the captain of the guard was far away ready to pull a random lever.  What BASTARD left this place with standing orders to pull levers and slaughter dwarves before leaving?! :-D

rridgway, Strategia, others - I would love to dorf you all, but I haven't even got any unnamed dorfs for MYSELF yet.  We better get some immigrants this year or my entire 'journal' isn't going to make any bloody sense.

Karakzon - I think I have identified the factions at this point... Measures will be taken.  I have a !!plan!!.

Savolainen5 - I am not sure how it's possible.  I hadn't realized dwarves could become "former members" of your civilization, and enemies of it.  The weirdest thing is, they're still MY DWARVES (I can give them labor assignments, and even military orders, just like anyone else, it seems.  I am not yet sure if they will listen, though).  It seems, theoretically, the enemies of The Sword of Boots could kill off the rest and go on living as a band of renegades.  I find it best not to question what the game is capable of.

Probably another update late-late tonight.  First I need to make a small pilgrimage.  Dwarf Fortress is part of a new exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art, (you know, that OTHER place with circles and triangles all over the walls!) something about the interaction of humans and objects *shrug*.  Naturally, I need to go see it.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2011, 10:44:55 am by CatalystParadox »
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

ThatAussieGuy

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1467 on: August 05, 2011, 11:16:51 am »

A small book lies on the floor, no name on the cover save and author refers to himself in the third person, obscuring his identity from anyone who may find it.  Mainly the authorities

- Entry 1 -

If I am to sieze this fortress for my own, it will take careful manipulation of the locals, steering them towards the grand prize - the fortress and it's rumored adamantine wealth.  With this, i can send these armored fools to willingly take over the world "in the name of mighty Failcannon". Fools.

- Entry 2 -

Phase one was a success - the others believe me crippled and have laid me up in the hospital with my crossbow close at hand (the locals believe me to be a poor shot.  A matter i'll have to correct if they manage to get in here during the "heated discussions" that are probably about to occur) and a dwarf waiting on me hand-and-foot.  With any luck, the careful lies i spread amongst the locals should make them all rather distrustful of each other...

- Entry 3 -

Outside these walls echo the screams of the dying and bloodthirsty.  I may have taken it too far when i spread glue on the handle of Aik's sword right before he had to go deal with the uprising i've instigated, but it's too late now to resolve that situation. 

- Entry 4 -

Armok save me.  I was caught out of bed, on my way back from warning the dwarven diplomat of SethCreyd's treachery.  Fortunately, the idiots believed me to be simply healed and put me back to work making mechanisms.

- Entry 5 -

Andreus XII found this journal.  I'll have to be more careful at hiding it from now on.  Thankfully, he was branded as a traitor and shot (Pretty easy to pull off these days, especially if you point and yell at someone loud enough for Aik to hear.  Must remember to stay in his good books when i sieze power).  By myself and a few others.  Most satisfying to get my hands dirty for once, i must admit.  As a precaution, i've erased my name from these entries and replacing them with the simple moniker of "That Aussie Dwarf".


edit - Just an fyi; i dont want a turn, i just fully expect my guy to end up Mayor and become the "dwarf behind the player" as it were.

edit 2 - Ye gods, i just loaded the save to look at That Aussie Dwarf for fun.  Catalyst, take a look at my dwarf and tell me his personality doesn't suggest "diabolical machiavelian schemer" or "evil puppetmaster".
 

« Last Edit: August 05, 2011, 11:43:39 am by ThatAussieGuy »
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1468 on: August 05, 2011, 11:26:30 am »

It looks like we got ourselves a loyalty cascade, gentlemen. It's been nice knowing you all.
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Johuotar

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1469 on: August 05, 2011, 11:41:51 am »

I lived quite long actually. I'm satisfied.
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