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Author Topic: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic  (Read 216567 times)

Dsarker

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Re: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic
« Reply #1770 on: November 15, 2011, 06:18:53 am »

Pinkie squinted as she looked outside. It had been almost a year, and she still hadn't adapted to the light of day. It had been endless night for too long. The Go- No. She didn't like that title. It reminded her of Luna. The princess had said that it was possible she'd never see properly in the light again. Pinkie didn't mind.

What she did mind were the straps and restraints holding her in. She chafed at them, as she had her whole life. Ever since her initiation into the Eversor Clade as an itty bitty twinkie Pinkie, she had chafed. She longed to move, to act, to do. To kill.

But she knew why they didn't want her out. She was an Eversor. And she smiled as she thought of the myriad ways she planned to kill everypony who had kept her bound, and those who hadn't known, and those who hadn't cared. Everypony, in fact. Maybe a knife through their eyes while they slept. That was one she wanted to try on Twilight. That was what she'd always call her, despite her name being Mica. It felt right. And she longed to kill Twilight. The bitch had kept her restrained. Hadn't even let her out to slaughter a town or two.

Next was Dashie. A guardspony, and she would be a challenge. She could just fly out of range. But even then, Pinkie had plans. She had been enhanced. Not even a pegasus would get away from her. She could just taste the feeling of a sword disembowelling her. She would be the second hardest, because she was protected by the hardest.

The hardest was Rarity. Pinkie didn't know what had happened to cause her to feel protective of Dashie, but somehow she knew. And it disgusted her. Giving in to base biological desires. She was an assassin too! She was supposed to have had those trained out of her. But she would hopefully still be a challenge. She would fight. Pinkie liked it when they fought.

The third hardest would be the other pegasus. Fluttershy. The telepath. But without Rarity, Pinkie would drive her crazy. Maybe she'd be more fun if she was crazy. That was a thought to keep you warm on a winter night.

Then there was Applejack. The other earth pony was an Arbitrator. She would be fun. Much more fun than Dashie. Mmmm. Pinkie almost felt content at the thought of killing Applejack a thousand ways from Princess' Day. It would be the best fun she'd ever have had.

Of course, the other two...Markon, and Spike. That was them. They'd be fun. But they were both psykers. Weaklings in real fighting. They'd only be good for the screams of terror.

Pinkie continued to rub at the straps.

One of them broke.

---

Mica led the six pony strike team of stormtroopers into the building where the Eversor had gotten loose. They were all in full plate barding, and were the best of the best.

They slowly crept through the building, keeping up a full watch. All of a sudden, they could hear laughter. The strike team leader, Sergeant Kamenskoi, swore. Ever since the God-Princess, praised be Her name, had come back, they had been slowly but steadily retired. This was to be their last mission, and it was a crapshoot. A crazed killer was their target, and this laughing was just going to keep unsettling his team. He checked his legmounted crossbow one more time, and saw movement out of the corner of his eye.

"She's he-" was all he got out before the flying knife slammed into his eye with such force it sent him hurtling across the room and pinned him to the wall. He was dead long before he hit it and every bone in his body shattered. One last blessing of the God-Princess Celestia.

The other stormtroopers turned, but the Eversor was already among them. Compared to her, they seemed to be moving in slow motion. In several swift strikes, all but the Eversor and the Equisitor were dead. Mica raised her force sword and stayed facing the Eversor, who was holding a magic blade, one of the Eversor weapons. Mica, with the fury of a berserker, poured her power into her force sword, and using her telekinesis, prepared to take down this cursed traitor.

The Eversor charged like a madman. She tried to jump over and onto the Equisitor, but the Equisitor had already predicted and countered her move. Swords flashed like lightning, and it was over. Neither had been touched. The Eversor didn't even wait a second before moving back into attack, and the Equisitor was slowly but surely forced back to the entrance.

As the tide of battle carried them to the entrance of the darkened building, a single sound rose out of the din of battle: a high, reedy noise, the unmistakable cry of a foal. For just a heartbeat's time, the Equisitor's eyes broke away from her opponent, darting across the blackened building to find to source of the cry. There-a foal had been stuck to the wall with another knife, left to slowly bleed out. The foal's eyes, wide and bright with terror, met the Equisitor's in a silent plea for help. It was only a moment, a brief instant of pony contact in the midst of a duel to the death. But it was too long.

The Eversor's blade struck so swiftly it scarcely seemed to cross the intervening space. The Equisitor desperately brought her force sword up in a parry, but her focus had been shaken. Bereft of the strengthening power of the Equisitor's will, the force sword began to crack, jagged lines of light spider-webbing across its surface. Mica desperately poured her psychic power into the blade, but to no avail. The Eversor's eyes glowed with triumph as the force sword shattered into a dozen pieces, its pure, clear light winking out like a snuffed candle.

In the silence that followed, the foal wailed.

---

Rarity kept her vigil. The cyan pegasus slept under her watch. She doubted that the guardspony even knew she was there. Rarity watched her like a hawk. Ever since the incident, she ha-

She knew she was there. What had told her, she couldn't say, but she knew she was there. Rarity was already moving, already yelling for backup. But she knew it was futile. Before the Eversor would have gotten this close, the guards would be long dead. 

Dash woke at the sound, and tried to get up. But she was still groggy. 

The singsong voice came. 

"Heya fillies! Pinkie is here for you!"

Dash was clear thinking now, and the terror in her face was evident. The hoofsteps resounded through the building.  Rarity drew a pair of swords and tossed one to Dash. In a daze still, Dash caught it expertly and prepared to fight. 

The attack came without warning. Two knives were tossed through the air. Dash saw her doom approaching and tried to pray, but before she could even let a 'Please, Celestia, forgive me, and remember I am just a pony', Rarity's sword flashed and knocked them from the air. 

"I'm an assassin too, traitor. You'll not get us so easily," called Rarity. 

"Oh, that's good! Mica was only a bit of fun. You'll be a whole bundle!" came the reply. Rarity and Dash lifted their swords into the guard position. 

Pinkie came hurtling from above. Rarity lifted her sword up just in time and parried the attack, sending her to the ground. But Pinkie was quickly up again and attacking. Almost absent-mindedly, she sent two daggers flying Dash's way, just as her sword clashed with Rarity's. Dash tried to dodge them, but she missed one and it grazed her left foreleg. She winced, but moved to join Rarity in the fight. 

Rarity moved in a classic example of the art of the Culexus temple. Moving faster than could be thought possible, she swung her sword in a devastating series of attacks. 

All to no avail. Pinkie blocked them as deftly as if from an infant, and moved into her attacks. Rarity was just as quick as she was, and blocked them all.

All except one. She was grazed on the leg and fell down. She tried to lift herself up, but she couldn't move. She looked helplessly on as Pinkie grinned in childlike joy. Dash moved to try and protect her rapist from her enemy. But Pinkie had already killed her, disemboweling her so quickly she hadn't noticed.

Dash collapsed over her entrails, and the light of life left her eyes. Rarity watched helplessly as Pinkie left the room. She tried to speak, but even her mouth refused to obey her. She tried to cry, to weep, but her eyes were no longer hers.

She tried to breath.
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Dsarker is the trolliest Catholic
Quote
[Dsarker is] a good for nothing troll.
You do not convince me. You rationalize your actions and because the result is favorable you become right.
"There are times, Sember, when I could believe your mother had a secret lover. Looking at you makes me wonder if it was one of my goats."

Dsarker

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Re: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic
« Reply #1771 on: November 15, 2011, 06:20:52 am »

That having been posted so far...


I'm wondering why I wrote it.
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Quote from: NewsMuffin
Dsarker is the trolliest Catholic
Quote
[Dsarker is] a good for nothing troll.
You do not convince me. You rationalize your actions and because the result is favorable you become right.
"There are times, Sember, when I could believe your mother had a secret lover. Looking at you makes me wonder if it was one of my goats."

MC Dirty

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Re: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic
« Reply #1772 on: November 15, 2011, 06:24:13 am »

Alright, thank you, I've got all the parts now.
Do you have your first Warhammer/MLP: FiM crossover fic saved somewhere in one file or something? I found a link to it, but if you already have it somewhere in one file, there's no need for me go through and copy-paste each chapter individually.

If you have it, please don't post it here (it's pretty huge), upload it to gdocs or send it as a PM or something.
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Dsarker

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Quote from: NewsMuffin
Dsarker is the trolliest Catholic
Quote
[Dsarker is] a good for nothing troll.
You do not convince me. You rationalize your actions and because the result is favorable you become right.
"There are times, Sember, when I could believe your mother had a secret lover. Looking at you makes me wonder if it was one of my goats."

Dsarker

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Re: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic
« Reply #1774 on: November 15, 2011, 06:28:45 am »

I actually feel hollow inside.

I'm a monster.


I FEEL FINE ONLY NEED MORE WAYS TO TORTURE PEOPLE WHO LIKE MLP:FIM.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2011, 06:31:08 am by Dsarker »
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Quote from: NewsMuffin
Dsarker is the trolliest Catholic
Quote
[Dsarker is] a good for nothing troll.
You do not convince me. You rationalize your actions and because the result is favorable you become right.
"There are times, Sember, when I could believe your mother had a secret lover. Looking at you makes me wonder if it was one of my goats."

MC Dirty

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Re: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic
« Reply #1775 on: November 15, 2011, 06:36:46 am »

Fixed that link for ya.
I think that's preferable because I have the option to download it as different file formats. Definitely superior to Ctrl+A, Ctrl+C.

Also, thanks for that!
« Last Edit: November 15, 2011, 06:39:20 am by MC Dirty »
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Trapezohedron

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Re: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic
« Reply #1776 on: November 15, 2011, 06:41:31 am »

I actually feel hollow inside.

I'm a monster.


I FEEL FINE ONLY NEED MORE WAYS TO TORTURE PEOPLE WHO LIKE MLP:FIM.

Find some more 'I don't want to live in this planet anymore' quality videos or fics or pics. Then congratulations, you just raped everyone(pony?)'s mind here.
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Sean Mirrsen

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Re: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic
« Reply #1777 on: November 15, 2011, 06:53:41 am »

That having been posted so far...

I'm wondering why I wrote it.
I've been wondering that about every piece of fiction you've posted here so far. Did I already say I'm going to quarantine every AU you've ever conceived? Because I am. I might even get the PPC team on it as well, although straight-up crossovers aren't usually their jurisdiction.

In unrelated news. Stupid lighting, why you so hard? Stupid living things, why you so rounded and weirdly shaped?!

« Last Edit: November 15, 2011, 06:56:53 am by Sean Mirrsen »
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Multiworld Madness Archive:
Game One, Discontinued at World 3.
Game Two, Discontinued at World 1.

"Europe has to grow out of the mindset that Europe's problems are the world's problems, but the world's problems are not Europe's problems."
- Subrahmanyam Jaishankar, Minister of External Affairs, India

Armok

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Re: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic
« Reply #1778 on: November 15, 2011, 07:23:53 am »

I know exactly what I ship, with mathematical precision:

Code: [Select]
For all m1, m2, b1, b2, r:
If m1 is a point in mind space, and m2 is a point in mind space, and b1 is a point in body space, and b2 is a point in body space, and r is a type of relationship,
then "b1!m1 r's b2!m2 OTP!" is true.

I think it's fully general, applying to any possible work of fiction as well as any crossover, and reality.

Who here ship these as well?

Also, this'd make a totally rad xkcd strip.
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MC Dirty

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Re: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic
« Reply #1779 on: November 15, 2011, 09:55:01 am »

As a math student, I cringe at your post.
Also, what the hell is "!" supposed to mean? And "OTP"? Not to mention that you didn't classify what type of relation "r" is supposed to be.
I know it's just supposed to be a joke, but putting variables and a "for all" in a random sentence doesn't make it a math joke.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2011, 10:00:00 am by MC Dirty »
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Sean Mirrsen

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Re: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic
« Reply #1780 on: November 15, 2011, 10:37:26 am »

Wouldn't it be better as a programming joke?

Code: [Select]
#include Multiverse
#include Multiverse.Universe

UniverseArray[∞] = Multiverse:GetUniverseArray();
vCharacter1 = New Universe.Meta.Individuum;
vCharacter2 = New Universe.Meta.Individuum;
RelationshipArray[∞] = Universe.Meta.Individuum:GetAffectionStateList().ToArray();

for each Universe1 as Universe in UniverseArray
  for each m1 as Universe.Cognitive.Instance in Universe1.Cognitive.Memetic:GetMindSpace.ToArray()
    for each b1 as Universe.Substance.Instance in Universe1.Substance.Life:GetBodySpace.ToArray()
      for each Universe2 as Universe in UniverseArray
        for each m2 as Universe.Cognitive.Instance in Universe2.Cognitive.Memetic:GetMindSpace.ToArray()
            for each b2 as Universe.Substance.Instance in Universe2.Substance.Life:GetBodySpace.ToArray()
              vCharacter1.Substance:SetInstance(b1);
              vCharacter1.Cognitive:SetInstance(m1);
              vCharacter2.Substance:SetInstance(b2);
              vCharacter2.Cognitive:SetInstance(m2);
              for each vRelationship as Universe.Meta.Individuum.AffectionState in RelationshipArray
                vCharacter1.Cognitive.Memetic:SetAffectionState(vRelationship, vCharacter2);
                vCharacter2.Cognitive.Memetic:SetAffectionState(vRelationship, vCharacter1);
                Multiverse:SpawnUniverseBranch(Universe1).Meta:AddIndividuum(vCharacter2, Universe1.AbsPos(vCharacter1)+Vector(0,vCharacter1.Substance:GetHeight(),0);
              end for
            end for
          end for
        end for
      end for
    end for
  end for
end for

Rather inefficient, I think. Also, I seem to have misplaced my copy of the Universe Compiler, so I'm a little hazy on the syntax and can't reliably check for errors.
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Multiworld Madness Archive:
Game One, Discontinued at World 3.
Game Two, Discontinued at World 1.

"Europe has to grow out of the mindset that Europe's problems are the world's problems, but the world's problems are not Europe's problems."
- Subrahmanyam Jaishankar, Minister of External Affairs, India

Drago55577

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Re: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic
« Reply #1781 on: November 15, 2011, 12:53:14 pm »

what have you done to me?!?!?! D: i cant delete the pony in my sig even though it only shows up to me! i erased one letter and felt sad.
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Rip goat, more loli
I think I've been sigged more times as a result of my comments in this thread than I have in most of my other activity on these forums. 

Dsarker

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Re: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic
« Reply #1782 on: November 15, 2011, 04:01:34 pm »

That having been posted so far...

I'm wondering why I wrote it.
I've been wondering that about every piece of fiction you've posted here so far. Did I already say I'm going to quarantine every AU you've ever conceived? Because I am. I might even get the PPC team on it as well, although straight-up crossovers aren't usually their jurisdiction.

Yes, you have, and what are the PPC?

Anyway, another cute picture (go on. It can't hurt you too badly....)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Discuss. Remember, d'awwww counts as discussion!
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Quote from: NewsMuffin
Dsarker is the trolliest Catholic
Quote
[Dsarker is] a good for nothing troll.
You do not convince me. You rationalize your actions and because the result is favorable you become right.
"There are times, Sember, when I could believe your mother had a secret lover. Looking at you makes me wonder if it was one of my goats."

Dsarker

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Re: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic
« Reply #1783 on: November 15, 2011, 04:14:23 pm »

Idea.

Mr Bean in the MLP verse.

Call it "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic *snort* *snort*".
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Quote from: NewsMuffin
Dsarker is the trolliest Catholic
Quote
[Dsarker is] a good for nothing troll.
You do not convince me. You rationalize your actions and because the result is favorable you become right.
"There are times, Sember, when I could believe your mother had a secret lover. Looking at you makes me wonder if it was one of my goats."

Flying Dice

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Re: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic
« Reply #1784 on: November 15, 2011, 06:24:00 pm »

Better idea: Connery's Bond in Equestria. For some reason (shits and giggles). 50% chance of him seducing Luna and Celestia by the end of the film, 100% chance of one-liners.


Or the Batman. I honestly think a Batman/Pony AU (with human characters entering Equestria, say, the Batman and some villians he needs to catch and take back to Earth) would work really well. Partner him with Luna and Zecora for triple the night terrors.


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