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Author Topic: Let's Experience the horror of Pokemon Quartz  (Read 36859 times)

Untouchable

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Let's Experience the horror of Pokemon Quartz
« on: November 20, 2011, 01:49:27 am »

Have you ever decided that you really hate yourself sometimes? Now then, I don't hate myself enough to watch a Twilight film but I'm doing something just as mind blowing in the worst way possible.
Also, I've decided that I hate you guys just as much.




That's right, I'm having a go at one of the most complete Pokemon ROMhack I've seen which is terrible in it's own way in Pokemon Quartz. Insane dialogue, cheating opponents and even more insane monster design, it should prove to be quite... interesting in theory.

This isn't going to be a Nuzlocke challenge because the game is unbalanced and cheats like a motherfucker. I'm serious, the third leader is the best example in the game. You'll see when we get there.

Never fear though, I will post the poxedex entries for mons appearing in the following areas for you guys to name.


------------------------------------------




The usual suspects.... You'll soon wish that they made this game.





The creator of this hack, a teenager from Spain. As you would probably expect, his grasp of the English language is somewhat lacking to say the least.
So he has done a complete rom hack; Why, because fuck you that's why!




 :D I have no idea what the hell you are!



OH SWEET ARCEUS, WE ARE IN TROUBLE NOW!



IT'S DUCK-SNAKE-SLIME-THING!

http://i1142.photobucket.com/albums/n608/Quartz_LP/Quartz%20LP%201/PokmonQuartz_05.png

IT'S.... this guy. Whatever the hell it is.




Let's go my little eggies!




Our title screen, complete with a horrifying whatever the hell that is and terrible text. Now let us roll muchachos!




Ok? First question, where am I and who are you?



I don't know where this place is, what the hell is wrong with you?



(Self-insert FTL)

I highly doubt that sir. I am from Sinnoh so I hereby call shenanigans upon your Pokemon professor credentials!




I'm not sure about funky but it's kinda adorable in a stupid sort of way.




Yeah, I know all of this.




And why wouldn't you battle using creatures such as Shock Pork, or whatever you named it, at your disposal?



Yes, we should only participate in cock fights with friends. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?




Pay attention to the bottom line kids, he's trying to establish arc words.





Please do.



I hope I don't get a Storm Boar or anything. Maybe like an electric bear because bears are cool.


But anyways, what gender are we?



or





Make a name suggestion while you are at it. 7 letters maximum and the best name for whatever gender gets the most votes gets to be used.


« Last Edit: November 20, 2011, 01:53:06 am by Untouchable »
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GlyphGryph

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Re: Let's Experience the horror of Pokemon Quartz
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2011, 03:04:04 am »

Pick male for the cool coat, but /play/ as a female, and get insulted whenever anyone calls you a guy.

Name:
Jess
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Deimos56

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Re: Let's Experience the horror of Pokemon Quartz
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2011, 03:20:27 am »

I agree with Glyph, if only for the potential hilarity.
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I'm curious what the barely conscious ai wrote about.
Well that went better than expected.  He went nuts and punched a rabbit to death, then the dogs and the whole dining hall ripped him to shreds.

Remalle

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Re: Let's Experience the horror of Pokemon Quartz
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2011, 03:53:54 am »

Thirded.
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Untouchable

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Re: Let's Experience the horror of Pokemon Quartz
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2011, 06:55:12 am »



Then by a margin of all votes to none, we are Jess. Fun fact, "she" also has a goatee. I've taken the liberty of editing it out from shots like this one.



Wait, no it hasn't.



The truck is pretty clearly still running you moron.



AH HELL, WHERE DID YOU JUST GO?




Yeah, get used to typos such as the one above. It took a while when I first played this game.





Ja ja? I don't even know what the hell you're talking about, what is wrong with you?



Wait, ready for what?



Wait! Don't throw me out of the damn truck!



WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT GUY? THAT WAS A MOVING TRUCK!



He is an asshole. I was just minding my own business when he goes "Get in the truck, we're going on an adventure" and here I am.



Wait, why are you here? Where is here? How can you let someone do that to your daughter?

I have a daughter? No, I have a son.

I fucking hate you.





Yes, I suppose being thrown out of a moving truck is a peaceful way to disembark. Who is that asshole anyways?




Don't you fucking ignore me.



Yeah, I guess it's alright.



Look at you what way, what are you talking about?



So Arceus is a Spaniard? Also, way to break the fourth wall and point out that you suck.




Ah ha! I have no idea what you're talking about.



K'THX



Actually, it is 10:01. I will not have some clock telling me what time it isn't.




That's... not very interesting.



What's with the creepy laugh?



So you wished for cable tv?



Also, in this super innovative game; you live in the basement!



Old reliable is still here of course.



Where did those Kinboxo idiots piss off to?



Oh god, did he expose himself to another child?




I hope that he isn't aware that indecent exposure is a class two felony.



Oh god, I was only joking then. I didn't know he actually does it.



...what. He did that to a pokemon? Eew.

 


I highly doubt that.




Yeah, howabout no.




I hope that they have a cute son. Be nice to meet someone my own age for once.




Yeah, that sounds totally not interesting.




What the hell is a Sever?




Sounds potentially hilarious.




What's that short for?

Jessica

Well, I've heard of a boy called Sue. I suppose that a boy named Jessica isn't that more bizarre

I'm a damn girl. Can't you tell by my voice?



I think that you misspelt your surname. Isn't it spelt Kabuchy?



Awesome isn't it? Do you have a camera or something that I can borrow?





That... isn't quite what I had in mind.



Is it my badass jacket that makes people think that I'm a boy? Seriously, what the hell?




AAAAAAAAAH! WHY DID YOU SCREAM?




I'm sorry for scaring you but why are you acting weird?



Why did you impersonate me? And that's not my voice, mine is much higher pitched.



Oh god, you're as insane as Baro. You're holding a conversation with yourself.




It's funny as hell isn't it?



Wait, why? This is an awesome development.



Good for you, I'm not sure what that statement has to do with this situation. The best thing that we can do is just sit and watch.



I think you'll be the one that I hate the most



And stop that! I know that it's you that's saying that!







What the hell is wrong with you?



Everyone that I've met so far are insane. Still, four people from probably a couple of hundred isn't too bad.



And I missed all of it. I hate you little kid.



I hope that there might be a little bit more violence.



This game is a hell of a lot like Dora the Explorer with a shitload of dialogue in Spanish as well as in English.




That's what was your problem? That's so goddamn lame.




Yeah no.



DAMN MOONSPEAK!



STARTER POKEMON CHOICE TIME




Firegg




Seegg



Aquegg



12 letter name and what you think we should go. As with the character name, we pretty much go species choice and then best name for that mon.


Monsters in the upcoming areas

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Toady Two

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Re: Let's Experience the horror of Pokemon Quartz
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2011, 10:09:12 am »

That green egg has a smug look on it's face. Choose it.
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Heron TSG

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Re: Let's Experience the horror of Pokemon Quartz
« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2011, 11:26:07 am »



DAMN MOONSPEAK!
This is hilarious. I'm following this now.

I'll cast in a vote for the Seegg. Can I call a Reabari from the future?
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Est Sularus Oth Mithas
The Artist Formerly Known as Barbarossa TSG

freeformschooler

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Re: Let's Experience the horror of Pokemon Quartz
« Reply #7 on: November 20, 2011, 11:40:47 am »

Seegg it is. This game is a monstrosity.
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i don't do anything around here anymore

Thexor

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Re: Let's Experience the horror of Pokemon Quartz
« Reply #8 on: November 20, 2011, 02:21:23 pm »

This game is horrid, dreadful, insane, ridiculous, and nauseating.

Oh, yeah... Posting to watch!
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Mala

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Re: Let's Experience the horror of Pokemon Quartz
« Reply #9 on: November 20, 2011, 02:45:35 pm »

This is beautiful.
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Girlinhat

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Re: Let's Experience the horror of Pokemon Quartz
« Reply #10 on: November 20, 2011, 03:02:12 pm »

I feel like I should rub this game all over myself, it's so... oh god.

I also vote green, I want to see what horrid hack of a bulbasaur looks like.  Also how do eggs fight at all?  I guess they do it in Spanish...  A name like "stolen" or such would be nice, or you could go the mokepan route of "fire-lizard-thing".

Untouchable

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Re: Let's Experience the horror of Pokemon Quartz
« Reply #11 on: November 21, 2011, 12:18:22 am »

Just so you guys know...



That's the fully evolved version of Seegg. It's... kinda gay and in the most flamboyant way possible.

Bdthemag

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Re: Let's Experience the horror of Pokemon Quartz
« Reply #12 on: November 21, 2011, 12:26:30 am »

OH GOD, TAKE THE RED ONE INSTEAD.

WE DO NOT WANT A BUCK TOOTHED ALLIGATOR FLOWER.
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Well, you do have a busy life, what with keeping tabs on wild, rough-and-tumble forum members while sorting out the drama between your twenty two inner lesbians.
Your drunk posts continue to baffle me.
Welcome to Reality.

Girlinhat

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Re: Let's Experience the horror of Pokemon Quartz
« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2011, 12:34:42 am »

...I want a buck-toothed alligator flower with leaves for arms

Bdthemag

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Re: Let's Experience the horror of Pokemon Quartz
« Reply #14 on: November 21, 2011, 12:35:46 am »

No wait, do the blue one. It sort of has a "What the fuck is this idiot doing?" look on its face.
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Well, you do have a busy life, what with keeping tabs on wild, rough-and-tumble forum members while sorting out the drama between your twenty two inner lesbians.
Your drunk posts continue to baffle me.
Welcome to Reality.
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