Had to break my personal rule of writing suggestions in order, as having Morgan Freeman narrate the entire update was simply too good an opportunity to pass up. I considered trying to get a recording of him personally reading through the entire update, but then it would have taken far, far longer to get it posted, so the written word will have to suffice for the time being.
Morgan Freeman, the god of narratives inexplicably appears and begins narrating the story in his calming voice.
"Ah, hello there. Right now you may be wondering why this story isn't being told to you by a parasitic alien in the body of a loud, spatula carrying fire ogre, or a young adventurer, known throughout the universe by only three simple letters. The truth is, none of that is all too important right now. What is important, is that my services here are needed. And that this story, regardless of who's around to narrate it, is one that must continue to be told...
This day, the day that changed our young protagonist's life forever, had started out with a very unpleasant discovery. Upon reawakening in a universe alternate to his own, the God-King found himself stuck in a strange, spectral form of being. And while it did not take him long to realize that he was now residing in a different universe, he was unable understand the reason behind his uncanny, ghost-like state. D.Z.A. had experienced death before, and knew right away that this was something else entirely. He felt almost as if there was something preventing him from fully existing in his new environment."
Sock Puppet man rides atop the shoulders of Sock Hero who rides upon the shoulders of Susan. Sock Puppet Man yells out. "Time to save the day!" But you can't hear him too well, its hard to hear in space. Suddenly the ogre and D.Z.A. are now atop Susan who seems to be sustaining oxygen somehow around her body. Perhaps she breathes out oxygen? Sock Puppet Man and Hero Sock stand side by side, helping D.Z.A. up and dusting him off with goofy smiles. Then they turn to the ogre. They walk up to him threateningly, "Why are you picking on Dirty Man!?" Sock Puppet man pokes into the ogre's chest a bit hard, trying to get some answers. Hero Sock simply flexes continuously in different positions behind Sock Puppet Man.
>you find an screaming spatula-wielding fire ogre that might not be what he seems
Music, for immersion-inducing purposes."Angered and confused by his situation, which to him felt like only another addition to the endless streak of unfortunate situations he had already been through, the exasperated D.Z.A. cursed and shouted to himself as he hovered in deep space, lacking the faintest idea of where in this new universe he was, or what he would do now. It was not until he spotted the colossal six-armed creature named Susan rising up beneath him, along with two of his companions from the previous universe, that he was finally able to regain control over his emotions.
He was slightly taken aback when the colossal creature had passed right through him as she continued her ascent. For the God-King, the arrival of Susan may have done little more than add to his still-growing confusion. But for a very lucky nearby fire ogre, that in his rage, D.Z.A. had failed to notice, her appearance was a godsend. She somehow seemed to have a cloud of breathable air surrounding her, saving the ogre from an untimely death within the cold depths of space. Admittedly, the air carried a stench of half-digested, rotting corpses. But as long as it kept him alive, the fire ogre would not be too bothered by it.
D.Z.A. quickly glided upward to catch up with Susan, and just as he would expect, he soon found himself in the company of his two sock-obsessed companions from the previous universe. Despite being caught off guard by their friend's less-than-physical appearance, they warmly welcomed him with big, silly smiles spread across their faces, before turning to the fire ogre, and greeting him in a much less friendly manner. Although D.Z.A. was happy to see some familiar people in this new universe, the fact that they were not suffering from the same spectral, restrained existence that he was only perplexed him further. After all, they had come from the same realm as him, and had to have been transported to this new one at nearly the exact same time. So why were they perfectly capable of fully existing here, while he was not?
Meanwhile, the sock puppet man spoke to the fire ogre, demanding to know why he had been so intent on bringing harm to his good friend. He jabbed the fire ogre in the gut with his finger to provoke a response. He would have jabbed him in the chest, but as it turns out, ogres tend to be fairly tall. The fire ogre didn't say anything, he simply glared down at the little sock puppet wearing man with contempt, while the sock puppet man's partner struck various poses in the backround to show off his hairy, yet well-built body.
The God-King watched the fire ogre suspiciously as his companions confronted him. He had hardly payed attention to the creature earlier, but now that he was taking the time to observe him more closely, he could tell that something didn't feel right about him. Then again, nothing had really felt right since his arrival in the new universe, so how could he know if his intuition was accurate?"
> Suddenly, the Hyperion jumps in right next to DZA and the Goa'uld.
> Goa'uld start blasting Sock Puppet Man with your spatula. (Stargate fans just think staff weapons.)
> DZA try to float toward the giant ship that just appeared.
"The adventurer's mind began to wander, but his straying thoughts did not get far before being pulled back into focus by the emergence of an enormous spacecraft. D.Z.A. stared at the vessel with great curiosity. Few times had he ever seen one of such size, and never before this up-close. In the end, it was his curiosity that got the better of him. With a final glance back at his sock-clad companions, he assured himself that they would be able to handle things if the fire ogre became troublesome, and floated over to the spaceship without delay.
Sadly, the departure of D.Z.A. presented the fire ogre with the exact opportunity for vengeance he had been waiting for. Once D.Z.A. was far enough away, the fire ogre hit the sock puppet man with a blast of plasma, fired from his spatula before his target could even think to react. Due to the small size of the spatula, the plasma blast failed to kill the sock puppet man as the fire ogre had hoped. However, the shot was unfortunately powerful enough to knock the sock puppet man off of Susan, and send him drifting into space with a grievous chest wound."
>The ship is piloted by the Link from the Legend of Zelda Show. He blares "EXCUUUUSE MEE PRINCESS" through the ships psychic speakers as he rides by.
>Gary Oak is in the hangar bay.
>As is Sho Minamimoto
"As the God-King approached the ship, he was mildly offended to hear a foreign voice in his head insultingly call him a princess. Nonetheless, this only further fed his curiosity about the enigmatic spacecraft.
His spectral form rendering him unrestricted by the physical barriers of the universe, he traversed straight through the walls of the behemoth craft, until coming upon a bay of the ship containing two young men."
>you see Old Man Henderson blinking trough space-time fighting hastur, he finally blinks permanently into your ship and blows up half of it, killing hastur.
He mutters something about garden gnomes, and you persuade him to join your forces.
Music: Like salad dressing, but for literature."D.Z.A. had decided to reach out to these individuals, in the hopes that they could help him to make sense of what was going on. But before he could so much as offer a simple greeting, the sound of sporadic shotgun fire rung throughout the ship. The young men ducked down, looking for the source of the gunshots, while D.Z.A. simply hovered there, catching glimpses of two different beings as they jumped between dimensions of the universe, locked in combat with one another. After a little while, the gunfire ceased, and an eerie silence settled across the vessel. One of the young men did a quick search around for any signs of the attacker, but no one was to be found. 'What the hell was tha-
He was abruptly cut off by a large explosion that caused the entire ship to quake. Before anyone knew what was happening, the entire back-half of the ship began to fall apart. In the chaos, D.Z.A. was trying to find his way around the expansive spacecraft, when he ran into a rather out-of-place looking elder. His hair spiked up into a mohawk, and his clothes akin to what one would expect to see a tourist wearing, D.Z.A. was intrigued by the unusual man.
The two started talking, and found that they got along surprisingly well. Even if the only thing D.Z.A. could understand was a few utterances concerning garden gnomes.
Shotgun in hand, the elder led the God-King to the bridge of the ship, while the God-King himself assisted by temporarily opening up any passageways that were closed off to prevent the remaining crew from being sucked into the vacuum of space. He discovered that, if he focused, it was possible for him to interact with tangible the objects in his surroundings, and with much greater strength than if he were completely mortal."
The ship has the voice of Hero Sock as it talks out loud. "For the Guild!"
"The tunic-wearing pilot of the space vessel had just shut off the alarms as D.Z.A. and the elder joined him on the bridge, and was in the process of trying to figure out what was causing the ship's automated announcement system to malfunction, yelling the phrase 'For the Guild!' in a voice it had never been programmed to use."
> DZA: ponder just what the hell is wrong with the universe. Or any universe. Maybe your just a weirdness magnet.
"The God-King's utter lack of understanding regarding recent events caused him to bury his face in his hands out of despair. As he contemplated his situation, his mind was clouded with an array of questions that he wished someone could provide the answers to.
'Where in this universe am I? What is the reason for all this? Why must things always go awry?' Trapped in his state of partial existence, not technically alive, yet not exactly dead either, existence itself felt empty, trivial. Even if he did feel that is was now easier for him to tap into his omnipotence.
The God-King looked out through the windows of the bridge, and observed the distant celestial bodies. The ship he was in was hardly a ship at all at this point. It would better be described as a large metal capsule, floating lazily among the stars. While D.Z.A. was aware that it didn't matter whether he was within the confines of a spacefaring vessel, or adrift in the void of space itself, he knew that any remaining crew members had little chance of survival without the help of a good miracle or two.
It was that moment, the moment that would change our young protagonist's life forever, that only a single thought resided in the God-King's troubled mind..."
"Where do I go from here?"
"For some, this may seem like the final step of a truly epic journey, and the last line to one absolutely remarkable story. But for those with their eyes to the future, it could very well be seen as only a prologue. A prologue to yet another adventure of grand proportions, silently waiting to be written."
To be continued...
And so the third chapter comes to a close. A great thanks to all who participated. This story would be nowhere near as glorious as it is now without suggestions from a group of imaginative bastards such as yourselves
That being said, I must also announce that, before you get to the task of providing me the raw materials with which I shall forge the next great chapter of this epic (or end it here at this point, if you so choose), I will be putting this on a bit of a hiatus, so that I will have the time to embark on a new project I've been wanting to play around with for a while.
There, there. It's heartbreaking, I know. But do not feel too down about it, for this new project is in fact going be an extension of this story. Drawing many elements from it, while hopefully being unique enough to be considered an epic in and of itself. Thus providing oodles of enjoyment for all involved.
Said project should be ready in a couple days or so, depending on how things work out. Until then, feel free to reminisce over what you've enjoyed most/least about the story thus far, create your own story to fill the void, or patiently twiddle your thumbs til further notice.
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Topic: You are Me, Chapter IV: Into Lands Unknown (Read 130754 times)